Big Trouble

by Andrew Seiple

  “All right,” Chase said, the implications of what he’d said whirling through her mind like panicked birds. Taking charge of her thoughts, she focused on her goals. “But we were talking about Renny’s friends.”

  “I was getting to that,” Dijornos said without missing a beat. “See, they let us talk with each other. The five of us.” he pointed down into the stairwell. “We’ve got speaking tubes to each other. It helps keep us sane, and we cause less trouble. That’s the excuse, anyway. The real reason is that if we didn’t have each other, we would have killed ourselves long ago and taken our chances with the respawn.” Then he sneered. “And it lets them spy on our conversations and get useful pieces of information. So we worked out a code. And then once we had a code, we worked out plans. Plans for any number of occurrences... including a random group of murderhobos showing up and looting the place.” He flicked his gaze over to Renny.

  “What did you call us?” Renny asked.

  “Murderhobos. Long story, otherworld slang. Don’t worry about it,” he sighed. “As planned, I took down your friends, but I didn’t kill them. YOU got knocked into the l-lake, and drifted downs...down there.” Dijornos shuddered, sweeping an arm towards the exit. “But that’s okay. Six hardened guard-murderers were enough. I took them to the speaking tubes and woke them up one by one, holding them tight while Speranza sang.”

  “Speranza? That’s the old word for hope,” Chase said.

  “Is it? I never bothered to learn the language. Stupid algorithm threw me here because I named my toon after a damn pizza.”

  “What?”

  “We figured it out eventually. The starting areas were supposed to be random, but everyone who called themselves something like Sanji or Narootoe ended up in a Japanese analogue. Stuff like that. Damned lazy programming, really.” Dijornos shook his head.

  “I’m sorry,” Chase apologized again.

  “Yeah, I know. You don’t understand.” For a second she thought she caught something in his voice... a mocking undercurrent, some bitterness, it was hard to tell.

  He may be friendly right now, but he’s still a murderous killer. He’s in here for a reason. He is NOT our friend, Chase thought to herself. And almost gasped, as proof of her sensibility flickered into view.

  WIS+1

  “Anyway,” Dijronos said, not noticing her moment of alarm, “Speranza. She used her voice to charm them. They’re her minions now.”

  “What does that mean?” Renny asked.

  “They’re like her slaves. She’s a siren; she can enslave humanoids with her voice.”

  “Did she do that to you?” Chase asked, edging backwards a bit.

  “What? No. Her tricks don’t work on my sort. Not permanently. But on your kind... well. It’s for good, I fear. Once they were serving her, she gave them directions, and they went out to free us all. They walked back across the lake and went back into the prison. And I sat down and waited for them to shut down the pumps, and free me.” His expression soured. “And do you want to know what happened then?” He said, his voice lower and huskier than it had been.

  “Nothing,” Chase guessed.

  “NOTHING!” roared Dijornos, and Chase dashed into the water as he leaped up and pounded the air, stalking around the island like the lion on his breastplate, shouting into the darkness with pure rage and fury. “She betrayed me! Left me to rot! Agh!” he screamed, falling to his knees and pounding the ground, hard enough that she heard the meaty whacks of stone pulping flesh. “Left me to rot,” he sobbed. “Prisoner’s dilemma and I smiled when I should have frowned. Idiot, idiot, idiot.”

  “I’m sorry,” Chase said, cautiously stepping out of the shallows once she was sure his rage had turned to self-pity. “I am. So... can you help us get Renny’s friends back? Can you help me save my father? It sounds like what she’s doing with him and the others is enslaving them. I want to stop that. Please, can you help us?”

  Either Dijornos was too far gone into his self-pity to care, or he hadn’t heard her in the first place, but he kept sobbing, talking to himself, rather than responding. “How could this happen to me? Me! The man who led the best damned guild in Airenze! Sucker, sucker, stupid, stupid noob!”

  Chase’s words died on her lips. Again, the fortuna casting came back to her.

  And the card in her ally’s spot was the Guild Master.

  Things fell into place. Speranza was the Elemental, then. Vaffanculo was the Griefer, had to be. And Dijornos, poor mad Dijornos, was the Guild Master.

  “Chase,” Renny whispered, as she moved forward, step by cautious step. “Chase, what are you doing?”

  “It’s fine. Look, Foresight,” she spoke, and nodded as events unfolded peacefully.

  Your Foresight skill is now level 4!

  She kept on walking, and knelt by the prisoner, just as she’d seen herself do. “You’ve hurt your hands. Here, let me help you. Lesser Healing.”

  You have healed Dijornos 8 points!

  Your Lesser Healing skill is now level 2!

  Split knuckles sealed, but bruises remained under the blood, and she cast it again.

  You have healed Dijornos 8 points!

  Your Lesser Healing skill is now level 3!

  He’d gone silent, and she took that for a good sign. His hands were still bruised, but as she opened her mouth to cast again, he straightened up, chuckling. “Wow. That’s some pathetic healing. You’re new at this, huh?”

  “Uh... Yes. More or less.” Absurdly enough she felt offended but pushed it down. He was looking at her speculatively, and she took a step back, not liking the look in his eyes.

  “Hey, we all have to start somewhere. So what if your Cleric job is lower than... eight? That’s what your halven level says, so Cleric’s lower than that.”

  “You can see my status screen?” Chase blanched. “Are you a Scout? Or an Inquisitor or something?”

  “No. Like I said, we’re special. All I have to do is look at the words over your head, and I know all I need to know about you, Chase Berrymore.” Dijornos frowned. “Ah, that came out creepy. Never mind. Look. Can I trust you?”

  “Yes,” Chase said, and Renny tugged on her hair. She patted him absently. “Tell us how to save Renny’s friends.”

  “You’ll need me along. From what your father said, she’s converted nearly all the guards in here to her minions. Just a matter of time before she finishes that. I can help you fight through them and take down Speranza.”

  “I thought you said death wasn’t permanent for... you people?” Chase finished, a little lamely, she thought.

  “It isn’t. But...” he gauged her. “We don’t have limitless chances of reviving. I’m not planning to kill her, just to overpower her and force her to release your little toy’s friends. She’ll do that rather than lose a respawn.”

  Renny quivered on her shoulder but held his tongue. Probably for the best, Chase knew. This man might be an ally, but he was volatile.

  “And for me to do that, to fight down through the prison with you, you’ll need to drain the water. There’s a pump room somewhere, I don’t know exactly where. I need you to sneak through the prison, find it, and stop the pumps. The lake will drain then, and I’ll be able to walk out of here freely.”

  “That’s not going to be easy,” Chase admitted. “You said the disguise wouldn’t work, and we’re not the best at sneaking.”

  “Yeah. The disguise won’t work because the minions are all under the same faction. They’re part of Speranza’s, ah... it’s hard to explain. I never paid much attention to how the pet classes worked.”

  “Classes?”

  “Jobs. Look, just listen. You’re better off without the disguise, just sneak around as best you can. You’re a halven, and he’s tiny; you should both be good at that. Getting converted does a number on their attributes and skills anyway. They won’t be as good at fighting as they were before they were charmed.”

  Chase mulled it over. It seemed like bad odds. And how long would i
t take the lake to drain? A lake this size, it seemed like it would take hours, or more. Which was all fine and well for Dijornos, but sooner or later Vaffanculo would come to destroy Bothernot. No, she had a time limit to worry about, here.

  And then she remembered something helpful. Tailor-made for the situation, almost. “Your insanity is a condition,” she said, looking up with sudden hope.

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “I might be able to remove it. Your fear of water, I mean.”

  “What?” Dijornos breathed the word, like he was fearful he’d misheard her. “You can do that?”

  “Maybe. I’m new at this, like you said. Let me try absorbing it. Then you can carry me across the water, and we’ll go stop Speranza now.”

  “Yes. Yes, let’s do that! What do I need to do?”

  “Just hold still,” Chase said and stretched out her hands. He knelt, putting his head even lower than hers, and she glanced down, gathering her nerves. This wouldn’t be pleasant, she suspected.

  But at the last moment, her eyes traced stains on the ground. Bloodstains, she realized with sick disgust. And a single, solitary tooth, bloody and lying there, like a little pearl dipped in gore.

  PER+1

  And some misgiving, some sense of the caution that her mother had spent her life instilling in Chase reared its head. So instead of saying absorb condition, Chase instead opened her lips and said “Foresight.”

  She watched, as ghost-Chase put her hands to Dijornos’ head. She watched ghostly Chase step back and scream, falling into a heap as she stared out at the lake.

  And she watched ghost-Dijornos laugh triumphantly, scoop up ghost-Renny, and tear his head clean off as he walked out into the shallows, without a backward glance at her huddled form.

  Then the vision faded, and realization crashed in to Chase’s mind.

  He’s no ally! He just wants to use me to escape!

  Back in the now then, as time resumed, and the band in her chest tightened.

  “Well?” Dijornos said, lifting his head and staring her in the eyes from inches away.

  And as the band tightened in her chest, the dissonance causing the pain to grow, Chase couldn’t think of a single word to say.

  Dijornos’ eyes narrowed, as he raised a hand and reached out toward her...

  CHAPTER 10: LIFESAVING LIES

  Chase stood and shook, paralyzed, as the pain grew.

  “What’s wrong?” Dijornos asked, eyes narrowed.

  Chase screamed then, doubling over, and the pain snapped taut.

  Major divergence detected! Feedback generated!

  Foresight inaccessible for 23:59 minutes and 52 seconds.

  “I can’t,” Chase wheezed, sitting down with a ‘thud’ on the stone of the island.

  But just as it felt like her brain was going to explode, suddenly the feeling was gone, replaced by a familiar, welcome warmth.

  You are now a level 2 Oracle!

  CHA+3

  LUCK+3

  WIS+3

  Active divergence detected and canceled.

  Foresight is now accessible once more.

  “What’s wrong?” Dijornos repeated, his face a mask of concern. But Chase could see it for what it was now; a mask covering a monster’s face. Chase wanted to get loose and run like hell. But with his hands on her shoulders, she knew she had to step carefully.

  “I can’t get rid of your condition. I’m sorry. I’m too low level to do it.”

  Dijornos sighed and stood, pacing with his hands behind his back. “Damn it. That would have made things simpler. But it’s not your fault you’re a noob, I suppose.”

  CHA+1

  Chase’s mouth went dry. The attribute boost, so close to the last gains, proved just how deadly the lie would have been if he’d caught it.

  “I guess we should try the pumps,” she said, looking to Renny, and moving towards the water. Only a few more steps, and they’d be safe.

  “Chase,” Dijornos said, just as she was a meter from the water, and she froze. His voice was right behind her.

  “Yes?” She whispered.

  Then his hand was on her shoulder again, and Renny was twisting on the other shoulder, facing him, and clutching her hair tight.

  “I am a very, very good friend to have. I’m probably the most trustworthy man in this prison right now. And I will reward those who help me greatly, once I’m out of here. Help me and we’ll save your parents, save your village together. Okay? We’ve got this, girl. Stand firm and be brave.”

  With one last squeeze, his hand withdrew. “Thank you,” Chase said, and stepped into the water, keeping a tight hold on her instincts, doing everything she could to keep her steps measured and slow.

  Chase didn’t relax when she was ten meters out.

  She didn’t relax when she was halfway to the other shore.

  Only when she’d left the cavern and gotten to the gory tableaux of the barricade, well away from Dijornos’ sight, did she slump down on a clean patch of floor and let herself go limp. “Oh...” she said, wondering if she was going to cry. But no tears came, and to her surprise, while the fear was still there, it wasn’t gripping her as tightly. She was left feeling dead inside, cold and wet and empty.

  Well. One of those things could be fixed, at any rate. “Renny? Could I get a clean and press, please?”

  “Yes.” He used his skill and instantly her clothes shed their sogginess.

  She glanced around, found an open speaking tube on the wall, then went over and shut it. “Right. We’re not taking chances. Not with him.”

  “I’m not really happy with the idea of helping him. Do we have any other options?”

  “That’s what we’re going to find out,” Chase said. “Because there’s no way in heck we’re helping him if there is any other way through this. I used my Oracle powers to check to see what would happen if I cured him, and Renny, his first act was to kill you. He killed you, Renny, and I saw it happen,” Chase said, feeling indignant. “I gave him rolls and he just up and killed you and betrayed me! Who the heck does that?”

  “A monster. Like I told you.”

  “You did. I should have listened to you more.” Chase sat down again. “Still, we learned things. Assuming it wasn’t a pack of lies from beginning to end, we know what’s going on here. And...” she rubbed her forehead. “And he’s right about one thing. The people who built this secret prison won’t hesitate to do horrible things to one little halven girl and her golem accomplice to keep this place a secret. And since the Baroness is the one who built it, and like a fool I sent Greta out to get her servant, the Camerlengo... that means that both Greta and I are in danger. Me more than her, really.

  “Which means I can’t hold back. Which means that I need to stop worrying about bad laws, and taxes, and future problems when the present is going to eat me up if I don’t take care of things now. I only got us through that last part by lying and lying well, so I’m going to double down on that. And more. I’ll take every adventuring job I’ve unlocked, because if I die here or get turned into a minion then nothing matters anyway! And if I survive and everything works out, well, I can worry about that when it happens.”

  Renny nodded as she spoke, ears flopping in the most adorable manner. Without thinking she picked him up and hugged him, and he hugged her back. “You’re very brave,” he told her. “You sure you’re okay with all those jobs? You’ll be stuck with them unless you join a guild. Having a lot of jobs does weird things to your experience.”

  “I’ll be fine. Actually, I’ve only got two more of them. And honestly, it feels right.” She put him down, said “Status,” and got to work.

  You are now a level 1 Archer!

  DEX+3

  PER+3

  STR+3

  You have learned the Aim skill!

  Your Aim skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Missile Mastery skill!

  You have learned the Quickdraw Skill!

  You have learned the Rapid Fire
skill!

  You have learned the Ricochet Shot skill!

  Your Ricochet Shot skill is now level 1!

  You are now a level 1 Grifter!

  CHA+3

  DEX+3

  LUCK+3

  You have learned the Fools Gold skill!

  Your Fools Gold skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Master of Disguise skill!

  Your Master of Disguise skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Silent Activation skill!

  Your Silent Activation skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Silver Tongue skill!

  Your Silver Tongue skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Size Up skill!

  Your Size Up skill is now level 1!

  Oh, it was such a rush, when all was said and done. Chase flexed her fingers and knew that she could probably juggle like nobody’s business now. And it’d only get better, the deeper she got into her new career choices.

  “How do you feel?” Renny asked, anxiously. “You’re smiling. That’s good, right?”

  “It is. Now let’s see...” Several help commands later, she had a notion of what she was doing. And three skills, in particular, looked to be useful for the current situation.

  Master of Disguise

  Cost: 10 MoxDuration: 10 minutes/Skill level

  The Grifter puts on a masterful disguise! The difficulty of seeing through it is modified by the Grifter’s charisma and skill level. The difficulty may be negatively modified if the disguise is extraordinarily different from the Grifter’s regular appearance... such as a raccant disguising themselves as a giant, or a human attempting to costume themselves as a dragon. This skill can mimic faction inclusion.

  Missile Mastery

  Cost: N/A Duration: Passive Constant

  The Archer’s obsession with ranged weaponry makes them an excellent shot, even with weapons that they haven’t practiced to the same level. When attacking with ranged weapons, they may substitute half of their highest ranged weapon skill, instead of the skill they would normally use. The affected skill groups are archery, throwing, guns, and siege engines. This skill has no levels.