Just as I was about to move closer to her, Ila walked back into the room and looked first at Ember and then at me. She had the face of someone who was about to partake in something unpleasant, but much needed.
“Ember, I’ve been thinking long and hard about this all day. There’s something important I want you do. Will you trust me enough to take my advice about an important matter?” Ila said.
Ember glanced at me with a tight frown and said, “Yeah, I suppose.”
“Suppose isn’t good enough. You need a guardian, and right away. I’ve already mentioned to you what would have happened if Sawyer hadn’t found you today. We can’t take any more risks. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Not exactly,” Ember said slowly, glancing my way.
“I believe Sawyer would make an adequate guardian for you, especially, since you dreamt his face before you ever laid eyes on him. Dreams are powerful things. Sometimes their meanings are hidden for a long time. But the more I think on it, the more strongly I feel about what you told me of Sawyer’s appearance in your dreams. It signifies that he is destined to walk beside you on the dangerous road that’s ahead, and protect you along the way. It makes sense to me now.
“Normally, I wouldn’t even consider allowing you to take a guardian until you were older, but changes are in the wind, and I can’t stop them, so we must plan the best we can. If you agree, we’ll do the ceremony tonight.”
Ember’s head snapped from Ila to me and back again. “Is it like a wedding or something?” she asked in a shaky voice.
“No silly girl, it’s not too complicated, but parts of it will be difficult. You brought this all on yourself by acting so impulsively today. I have to make sure you are protected.”
I suddenly realized why Ila was pushing Ember to do this now. She knew that Ember was so contrite about what she’d done that she wouldn’t argue, which may not be the case in a few days.
“So it’s not like we’re going to be married?” Ember asked again, her voice steadier.
“No, no, my dear, there will be no physical obligations whatsoever, unless you both agree to that later, which is no concern of mine. I have explained what happens in the ceremony in some detail to Sawyer, and he has agreed to become your guardian. He will be tied to you forever or until one of you dies. You will feel his mind always and he will feel yours. If you two are apart, you’ll know how to find each other. Much of this I can explain after the ceremony, all the little nuances about guardianship, but you do need to be ready to experience all of Sawyer’s past experiences. They will run through your mind quickly, but you’ll understand much of it, as terrible as his memories will be, they will become a part of you.”
Ember sat wide-eyed, as if she was a deer caught in headlights. I started doubting that she’d do it. Even if she was feeling guilty about her actions, she wouldn’t be pushed into such an act. It was a big deal becoming tied to someone for the rest of your life, especially if you’d only known him for such a short time.
But Ila was right, Ember needed a guardian.
It was a moment before Ember spoke, and her words surprised me.
“I’ll do it. I’ll accept Sawyer as my guardian, if you think I should.” She paused, and turned to me, narrowing her sky blue gaze before she added, “But don’t you go thinking that this makes us a couple, Sawyer, because it doesn’t.”
Matthew 13:49
So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come forth, separate the wicked from among the just, and cast them into the furnace of fire.
Ember ~ Forty-One
What had I just agreed to? Was I insane, or caught up in some fantastical dream that I’d soon wake from, maybe even back in my bed in Ohio?
I’d just given the okay to having my mind permanently bound to a Demon.
I shivered at the craziness of it. But the priest had been told by the angel Eae that the apocalypse was approaching. If it really was true then I needed to be ready.
Trust Fate, Ember.
In the end, that’s what had decided it for me. How could I ignore an angel’s instructions?
It’s not like I was one of those girls who’d go to college and meet a normal guy. No, marriage and kids weren’t in the cards for me anyway. So getting tied-for-life to a soul-eater wasn’t such a bad thing, I tried to convince myself.
Still, could Sawyer really be trusted?
Ila lit fragrant candles and placed them on the table and window sills. The smells of cinnamon and ginger filled the room. I couldn’t stop myself from taking a deep breath. The only light was the glow of the candles, giving the cabin an eerie feel.
I sat on a pillow across from Sawyer, who began joking that the whole thing was shaping up to be a séance, until Ila gave him a withering glance that promptly shut him up.
Ivan was snoring lightly in the bedroom, and I smiled at the speed in which he’d fallen asleep. Who would ever have thought that I’d have a wolf kid for a sleepover?
Could life get any stranger? I immediately stopped that line of thinking. Yes, it probably could.
Ila went into the storeroom to mix up a special drink for us. Sawyer whispered that this was all just an elaborate scheme to poison him. I had to laugh at that one.
He seemed nervous, glancing this way and that, lost in his own thoughts most of the time while we waited for Ila to rejoin us. I took the opportunity to study his seraphic looking face while he stared at the flame that flickered between us. Some of his dark hair tumbled down over his one eye, and his lips were pressed tightly together.
When he raised his head, I didn’t look away. I couldn’t believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me. Illuminated by the candle light, was the face of my dreams—a pensive and sorrow filled boy. It dawned on me in that instant that although he was volunteering to be my guardian, he actually needed me as much as I needed him. He was a lost soul, searching for a place of sanctuary in his black and terrifying world.
Any lingering doubt vanished. Sawyer was a necessary part of my story, an element that I couldn’t live without. I smiled at the Demon, feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
His eyebrows raised and a grin spread his mouth wide. The sadness left his eyes to be replaced with a soft look of desire. The look made me blush. Then I was the one staring at the flame, too embarrassed to meet the gaze that I knew was still locked on me.
A blink later, he was sitting beside me, his arm around my shoulder. He touched my forehead, pushing my head back against him. The muscles of his chest pressing into my back made me forget everything else for a moment. I wondered how I’d lived life for so long without even knowing that he even existed.
When his hair brushed the side of my face, I stiffened. He bent his face to mine, and bushed his lips slowly along my jaw. I trembled.
Ila clearing her throat loudly had me up and away from Sawyer in a heartbeat. When I got settled on the pillow that he’d previously occupied, I peeked up at him under heavy lashes. He grinned wickedly, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
Ila wasted no more time. She handed each of us a mug with steam floating around its brim. She then sat on the cushion next to me in a very spry movement for someone her age. The way Sawyer’s eyebrow arched when he’d watched her position herself on the pillow said he was also surprised.
“Drink the tea,” Ila ordered.
Sawyer made a mock toast before downing the entire contents in two gulps. I, on the other hand, sipped it more cautiously. I was disappointed with its bitter taste. Ila nudged me, and I drank faster, until the mug was finally empty.
I was slightly alarmed when Ila pulled out a small knife with an ornate handle. As I gazed at the knife, fear was replaced with curiosity when I saw the designs of wolves on the blade. It looked extremely old, and I wondered if Montery had given it to her. Before I had the chance to question her, she took my hand. I forgot what I was even going to ask when she poised the knife near my fingertip.
“Sawyer, do you ha
ve good self-control when it comes to blood?” Ila asked him in a straight-forward fashion.
“I’m better than most,” he said slowly.
The way he answered made me worry all the more, especially when Ila explained what she was about to do.
“The two of you need to ingest just a drop of the other’s blood to begin the ceremony. There are many ways to do this, and I’d say the Demon here knows a few I haven’t thought of. What I suggest for you love birds is for me to prick one of your fingers, and then you will each take the other’s hand, touching the blood to your tongue. It takes hardly any blood at all, and that’s what worries me with you, Sawyer—will you be able to handle just a drop?”
“I should be fine, as long as Ember doesn’t get all sexy with me.” He wasn’t kidding, he sounded perfectly serious.
“Don’t worry about me. This is the grossest thing I’ve ever done. I won’t make it last any longer than necessary,” I informed him with a grimace.
“This isn’t the time for banter.” Ila sighed. “After you’ve both shared blood, we will all join hands. Do not let go of each other’s hands or mine. We must maintain the circle at all times. Do you understand, Ember?”
I wondered why she had singled me out. I could be stronger than Sawyer. “Yes, I understand,” I answered tartly.
“Let us begin then.” Ila took Sawyer’s ring finger and made a small cut. Then it was my turn. I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t even like getting shots. Ila did it so quickly; it only stung for an instant. I put the finger near my face to see a drop of blood pooling at the tip of it. Ila motioned for us to do the blood exchange part. I felt corny. It was as if we were doing an after school blood pact sort of thing, but I held out my finger to Sawyer anyway, and he did the same.
Sawyer stared intensely at my finger, and it tied my stomach in a knot. He was the first to bring my finger to his lips, and Ila poked me to do the same. When his lips touched my finger, he took half of it into his mouth. I tried to pull it back, but he held it firmly and sucked gently—and probably longer than he should have. When he released my hand, his tongue slide over his lower lip, and he closed his eyes. His expression was unfathomable.
Again, Ila poked me. I held up his finger, wrinkled my nose, and quickly touched
it with my tongue. I looked over at Ila and she shook her head.
I blew out in disgust and tried again. This time I actually got some blood in my mouth, and was surprised that not only did his blood smell the same as regular blood, it tasted normal too. I’d sucked on enough cut fingers during my childhood years to know what blood tasted like, even though the injuries themselves had mysteriously disappeared. And his blood tasted the same as mine.
I met Sawyer’s gaze, and his eyes were open and bright, boring into me.
Ila took my hand and Sawyer’s, while he reached across to me. I slipped my hand into his larger, calloused one. We were all connected now.
“Ember, this part is just for you. Reach out with your mind and enter his as if you are going to use his sight.” I must have scowled. She added sternly, “Now don’t argue with me, Ember. It will work, trust me.” She turned to Sawyer, “When Ember touches your mind, let her in. Drop your barriers, and allow her entrance.”
He nodded, never taking his eyes off me. I shivered expectantly.
“When you begin, I will be saying words you do not know or understand. Just relax and get your minds together. Once you are there, Ember, everything will change, and it will commence. There is no stopping it. The ceremony will run its course, not ending until it is finished.”
Ila breathed deeply, and glanced between us. “Are you both ready?”
I closed my eyes and left my body. I’d touched Sawyer’s mind before, but this was different. To actually enter another sentient being’s head would be difficult. I pushed and found the wall, but it allowed me through, even easier than the crow. I opened my eyes to see Sawyer wearing a pleased smile.
The rain was still falling outside, and the tap, tap, tap, on the tin roof were making me drowsy. Ila began chanting some words that didn’t sound like any language I’d ever heard. But I tried to listen closely, fascinated by the sounds she was making.
They were natural sounds, a stick breaking or the wind rustling the leaves. I started to think I might know this strange language, somewhere in the far reaches of my mind, I knew it, but I didn’t have any more time to try to figure it out.
Suddenly I was looking into the face of an attractive, dark haired lady. I felt total adoration for this woman. She held me against her soft face, and I knew by the resemblance that it was Sawyer’s mother.
The visions sped through childhood and the teenage years. There were carts, buggies and horses everywhere. Friends, family gatherings, school days, a crush on a well-endowed red headed girl, pitching hay onto a wagon, casting a fishing line, and walking alone down a dusty road.
Faster the scenes went; soldiers, battles, cannons, killing, pain, courage, death, stink, and terror. The visions sped into a blur. Loneliness, frustration, weakness, pain, sorrow, hunger, hunger, hunger, hunger, surprise, beauty, desire, need, want, fear, fire,…love.
Then it was over.
How long it actually lasted I don’t know, but my legs were cramped and tingling from lack of proper circulation. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to face Sawyer. Actually, I might just keep my eyes closed forever.
“You can let go now, Ember. There, there you did fine,” Ila said rubbing my back. I dropped my head between my crossed legs. Tears broke free as the remnants of his feelings slowly dispersed into me. The magnitude of his emotions frightened me. How could anyone walk around feeling so intense about everything?
His childhood was normal, at least for a boy in the middle eighteen hundreds. The civil war was horrific, the demonic changing was impossible to think about even now, and the soul feeding was appalling.
The most surprising part of all was when I came into the picture. I never dreamed he had such ardent feelings for me. He really loves me. How could I ever look at him again, knowing his feelings were so pure and true, and mine were so screwed up?
I stayed with my eyes closed, and my head resting on my knees, for a long time while Ila rubbed my back and whispered soothing words. What finally got me moving, was the realization that if I was so uncomfortably stiff, Ila must be in agony.
I sat up slowly, taking a peek at Sawyer.
He was staring at me with a tight frown. He knows about Marshall.
I dropped my head back to my knees. I wasn’t ready for a conversation about that horrible man yet. I wanted to forget that he ever existed, but another quick glance at Sawyer told me that he wanted answers. Ila had been worried that the killing and soul draining was going to bother me the most, but here I was, worrying about what crazy action the Demon might take when he learned the real reason that I came to the mountains was to escape a predator.
For some reason, I could block out the faces of the sleeping people as Sawyer fed on their souls. Even now they were hard to recall. At the time I was in Sawyer’s mind, my own brain had accepted that the people were food. Food I needed to survive. Sawyer was only doing what he had to do to live, and he did it as gently as possible. He’d felt a deep sense of sorrow each and every time he’d fed. I know it didn’t make it right or politically correct, but it was what it was. My lack of sensitivity worried me, but I could move on, and forget. I had to.
“Ember, I can see that you are handling this better than you should be, as usual. I’m going to leave the two of you alone. If you need me, I’ll be in the bedroom. It’s been a long day for me, and I’ve used amounts of power I haven’t touched in decades. Goodnight, my dear.”
Before she could rise, I reached over and clung to her for a minute. “Thank you, Ila.”
She whispered into my ear that she loved me.
Ila got up and walked to the bedroom. Before she slipped through the door, she said, “Good night, Sawyer. You did well tonight. I’m p
roud of you.”
Hearing the door close sent a tingle of anticipation down my spine. I returned to hiding my face between my knees. Testing the waters, I sent out the extra sense, seeing if I felt anything different now that I had a guardian. Nope. I felt pretty much the same.
Maybe, it was because he was sitting right across from me?
I risked looking up at Sawyer again. To my surprise, he’d moved to the couch, and I didn’t even know it. Some connection we had.
He still looked annoyed.
I crawled to the sofa and climbed onto it. My legs hardly worked. How long had we been on the floor? The window was still swallowed in darkness. It was deep in the night.
His voice split the air. “Are you really all right?”
“I’m fine, what about you?”
“Never been better,” he said in a satisfied way. He scooted closer, but not near enough for us to touch. I was irked at his obvious good mood, and I was disappointed he wasn’t kissing me. Talk about being conflicted.
In a kind voice he said, “I’m sorry about your parents. It’s terrible what happened to them. And to think, I didn’t even know you while all that was going on. I was just going on with my own affairs…and you needed me.” His face became a stone again and his eyes searched mine. “At least you had Angus to protect you. You should have told your brother what was going on.”
Irritation pricked my skin. I didn’t like Sawyer thinking he could tell me what to do when he didn’t understand anything.
“Marshall’s a dangerous kind of man. I know my brother. He’s a lot like you. He would’ve taken matters into his own hands, and it would have caused a bunch of trouble for all of us.” I sighed and thumped my head against the back of the sofa. “If I’d known that I had powers back then, I would have taken care of it myself.”
“Someday, I’ll bring justice to Marshall. He’ll never bother you again,” Sawyer promised in a quiet voice.
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