by Brad Fraser
JOEY:
Ah tuh. (I’ll try.)
ROWDY:
Concentrate.
JOEY:
Ah uhm. (I am.)
Pause. Nothing happens. ROWDY whistles a couple of bars of something to move things along. JOEY begins to pee.
ROWDY:
Yes!
JOEY:
Eh. (Hey.)
ROWDY:
Hold it steady. Aim for the cake thing. That’s right.
JOEY:
Uhm pung buh musuv. (I’m peeing by myself.)
ROWDY:
Excellent.
JOEY:
Nuh shuh ih uv. (Now shake it off.)
ROWDY:
What?
JOEY:
Wew uh kuhd. (Well I can’t.)
ROWDY:
Oh for—
ROWDY quickly shakes JOEY’s dick off, returns it to his pants, and zips his fly.
There. Happy?
JOEY:
Chuh. (Chair.)
ROWDY:
Right.
ROWDY assists JOEY back into the chair.
I think we might have to go back to the diaper thing.
JOEY:
Nuh.
ROWDY:
You still got some piss all over the front of your pants.
JOEY:
Nuh deepah!
ROWDY:
You don’t leave me a lot of choice.
JOEY:
Shuh huh. Fuh yuh. (Shut up. Fuck you.)
ROWDY:
No fuck you. And while we’re on the subject what I do with my dick is none of your business.
JOEY:
Ah nuvuh suh id wush. (I never said it was.)
ROWDY:
I’m talking about your whole scene when you walked in on me and Twyla.
JOEY:
Yuh dun nuduh duh dath ihuh kishuh. (You don’t need to do that in the kitchen.)
ROWDY:
You’re just fucking jealous.
JOEY:
Fuh yuh. (Fuck you.)
ROWDY:
I can get someone to help you Joe.
JOEY:
Nuh!
ROWDY:
You think you’re the worst thing anyone’s seen? There are kids in China born with skin like elephants and no legs. There are kids in Russia who shit through their mouths and piss out of their noses because of some nuclear thing. Are you worse off than those people?
JOEY:
Shuh hub! (Shut up!)
JOEY swings at ROWDY. ROWDY knocks his hand away.
ROWDY:
I know someone who can take care of you—someone better than your old man.
JOEY:
Fuh yuh!
ROWDY:
Unless you prefer him doing it!
JOEY:
Nuh!
ROWDY:
Your dad made you a world where you’re everything bud. I get that. But he’s not well enough to do that anymore and you’re gonna have to realize in everyone else’s world you’re not everything.
JOEY:
Ah kipah. (I’m crippled.)
ROWDY:
And I’m brain-damaged. No one cares. You wanna live in this world then you gotta fight for it. No one’s parents hang around forever.
JOEY:
Dah nuh gunuh dah. (Dad’s not gonna die.)
ROWDY:
You heard what the doc said. The pain’s so bad they have to drug him till it’s like he’s dead.
JOEY:
Buh huh stuh uhluf. (But he’s still alive.)
ROWDY:
Not really.
Pause.
We can turn the lights out. She never has to see you.
JOEY:
Huh wiw wuh puh huh? (How will we pay her?)
ROWDY:
It’s taken care of. You gotta do it Joe or we’re both gonna go crazy and start to hate each other.
JOEY:
Yuh. Ukuh.
ROWDY:
Great bud.
A light rises on JAKE in his bed. ROBYN’s with him.
ROBYN:
Glad to be home?
JAKE:
Yeah. I can’t go back there again. It was horrible.
ROBYN:
Your sister’s been very good about keeping me up to date.
JAKE:
Good. I’ve held off taking my painkillers so we can talk.
ROBYN:
Jake you shouldn’t—
JAKE:
If I don’t I’m mostly incomprehensible but I’m not sure how long I can stand this.
ROBYN:
I’m so so sorry.
JAKE:
I don’t deserve this.
ROBYN:
No you don’t.
JAKE:
You don’t have to worry about what’ll happen to your sons if you’re sick and disabled.
ROBYN:
No.
JAKE:
Your beautiful blessed family.
ROBYN:
Well it isn’t all sweetness and light but thank you.
JAKE:
They’re all well I hope.
ROBYN:
Sure. Well the boys have some intimacy issues they blame on me but whatever. I kept meaning to come by.
JAKE:
You don’t need to lie to me Robyn.
ROBYN:
I’m sorry. Your—the entire house kind of smells like pee and—something else.
JAKE:
Despair. I know. (They laugh.) I always—
JAKE’s eyes grow wide and sightless. He hums quietly.
ROBYN:
Jake?
JAKE twists his head oddly and moans.
Jake!
JAKE stops humming and stares at her for a moment.
It’s me. Robyn.
JAKE shakes his head.
Remember?
JAKE:
He makes you uncomfortable doesn’t he?
ROBYN:
Joey?
JAKE:
Yes.
ROBYN:
I’m just—yes. A bit. I’m sorry.
JAKE:
A lot of the problem with people like Joey is that they’re not stimulated enough physically or mentally. They need so much attention and reinforcement—
ROBYN:
Jake if you need money you know I can—
JAKE:
I want to kill myself.
ROBYN:
No.
JAKE:
There’s no cure. No real relief. I have every reason and right to take control of my pain and my life and end it and I don’t give a flying fuck if some law based on someone’s deranged religious beliefs says I can’t.
ROBYN:
Of course—
JAKE:
Unfortunately the little insurance I have will disappear completely if I commit suicide. The only way I can continue to have the money to keep the house is by being alive.
ROBYN:
That’s not right.
JAKE:
Say you’ll visit him. Tuesday nights.
ROBYN:
Visit him and do what?
JAKE:
Talk to him. Play games. Whatever.
ROBYN:
I can’t believe you’d do this. We have an understanding.
JAKE:
It should give you an idea of just how desperate I am.
ROBYN:
Putting me on the spot like this.
JAKE:
You’re my only friend.
ROBYN:
It’s unfair.
Pause.
I don’t even understand what he’s saying.
JAKE:
Everyone’s like that in the beginning. We’re so strained already Robyn. Just coming by for a few hours a week would give Rowdy a break and just—just—it would—mean—
JAKE’s eyes grow wide. He begins to hum again.
ROBYN:
Jake?
JAKE comes around.
JAKE:
I have to take my painkillers now. My heart’s beating too fast.
ROBYN:
I should go anyway.
She kisses him quickly and squeezes his hand.
JAKE:
Night.
ROBYN:
Goodbye.
ROBYN exits. JAKE takes his pills and some water with great effort. He lies back, breathing heavily. A light rises on ROWDY in the bathroom with JOEY who’s been bathed and is now being shaved. He wears a bathrobe and sweats.
ROWDY:
Hold still.
JOEY:
Kuhfuh. (Careful.)
ROWDY:
Shut up or I’ll cut you.
ROWDY shaves the last of the foam from JOEY’s face. He wipes him clean with a towel.
A shave like that says I took the time.
JOEY:
Duh Ah luh ukuh? (Do I look okay?)
ROWDY:
Never looked better. First blow job. This is a very exciting time in any guy’s life. Usually it happens with drunk girls in cars but whatever works right?
JOEY:
Duh wuh ah tisetud wuh fleeh huh owd? (The way I’m twisted won’t freak her out?)
ROWDY:
She’s done way worse bro. I explained that to you. This is how she gives back.
ROWDY wheels JOEY into the kitchen as they speak.
JOEY:
Huh luh? (How long?)
ROWDY:
We’ve got a few minutes yet.
JOEY:
Dah wuh kuh owd? (Dad won’t come out?)
ROWDY:
He took his meds about an hour ago.
Pause.
JOEY:
Wowdee—
ROWDY:
Yeah.
JOEY:
Duh shus aw huh buh ah wush. (The sores on his back are worse.)
ROWDY:
I know. We keep shifting him like they tell us but it doesn’t seem to help.
JOEY:
Uh luh hesh uh towshuh yuh ulh. (It’s like he’s a thousand years old.)
ROWDY:
Put it outa your head for the next hour for sure bud.
JOEY:
Ah nuvush. (I’m nervous.)
ROWDY:
Just relax and let her do her thing. It’ll come natural.
JOEY:
Ruh. (Right.)
ROWDY:
And I guarantee you this will make you a lot less angry all the time.
JOEY:
Muh frunsh un duh nud suh owah sush ish ukuh wuhow uh cuduh. (My friends on the net say oral sex is okay without a condom.)
ROWDY:
Sure long as she doesn’t have the herpes or a syph sore in her mouth which I’m pretty sure she doesn’t. You’ll love it. Trust me.
The doorbell rings.
JOEY:
Uhuh. (Ohoh.)
ROWDY:
Quick go into your bedroom.
JOEY:
Ahl tun duh luh owd. (I’ll turn the light out.)
ROWDY:
Whatever you need to do Joe.
JOEY exits. The doorbell rings again. Lights rise on JAKE’s bedroom. He is sleeping heavily. TWYLA is dusting, singing quietly. JAKE wakes.
JAKE:
Viola?
TWYLA:
It’s me.
JAKE:
Shorry. I’ve been sleeping too much.
TWYLA:
How’s the pain?
JAKE:
I’m okay.
TWYLA:
It’s nice to see you up.
JAKE:
How are you?
TWYLA:
Alright. I—there was an incident—
JAKE:
Incident?
TWYLA:
A few days ago. Joey walked in while—uh—while Rowdy and I were—
JAKE:
What?
TWYLA:
Kissing. It seemed to upset him.
JAKE:
You’re his two best friends. Of course it upset him.
TWYLA:
I’ve tried to talk to him but he hasn’t been very—open.
JAKE:
I think the real issue here might be why were you being intimate with Rowdy?
TWYLA:
It was a—vulnerable moment and he was being—surprisingly charming. Are you hungry?
JAKE:
No.
TWYLA:
One other thing.
JAKE:
What?
TWYLA:
The Service’s pay for a certain—understanding woman to visit Joey once a month.
JAKE:
Wow. He said he didn’t want that.
TWYLA:
Rowdy changed his mind.
JAKE:
Does it—help?
TWYLA:
It really does.
JAKE:
Then.
TWYLA:
Exactly.
JAKE:
And you?
TWYLA:
Fine.
JAKE:
Fine?
TWYLA:
For someone with no life.
JAKE:
I know we ask a lot of you—
TWYLA:
I can’t—can’t keep doing this.
JAKE:
You have to.
TWYLA:
I’m so fucking tired. Running around—paying bills—juggling work—worrying—
JAKE:
He doesn’t have anyone else!
TWYLA:
Stop being sick! You wrote a novel while you were working as a waiter. You kept me going after our mom and Viola died. I know how strong you are—
You think I want to be like this?
TWYLA:
I can’t deal with this alone!
JAKE:
What the fuck am I supposed to say? There’s nothing I can do.
TWYLA:
I know.
JAKE:
Then stop being mad at me.
TWYLA:
I try not to be.
JAKE:
I raised you after the accident—
TWYLA:
And I’ve been Joey’s mother—
JAKE:
So it’s a contest now?
TWYLA:
I didn’t say that—
JAKE moans.
Jake?
JAKE:
It’s okay.
TWYLA:
You need your drugs.
JAKE:
Joey’s computer alarm should bring him any time.
TWYLA:
I’m sorry. That was wrong. I know you can’t do more than you are.
JAKE:
I understand your fr— (moans) frustration.
TWYLA:
Where’s Joey?
JAKE:
I’m okay.
TWYLA:
I’ll get him.
JAKE:
Don’t worry.
JOEY enters.
TWYLA:
Where have you been?
JAKE:
I really need my meds.
JOEY:
Nuh yeh. (Not yet.)
TWYLA:
Why not?
JOEY:
Wuh nud tuh tak. (We need to talk.)
TWYLA:
About what?
JOEY:
Oofunushuh.
JAKE:
What?
JOEY:
Oofunushuh.
TWYLA:
Sorry?
JOEY presses a button on his tablet. A booming voice is heard.
VOICE:
Euthanasia. The act of assisting in the death of another person when it is the only way to save them from pain and suffering. Sometimes known as mercy killing—
TWYLA:
Joey!
JAKE:
Turn it off.
JOEY stops the voice. Pause.
TWYLA:
Euthanasia?
JOEY:
Ah bulun tuh uh goob un duh pooduh dah desw wuf duh rust uv dushubuh pupuh. Wuh nuh tuh dikush oofunushuh. (I belong to a group on the computer that deals with the rights of disabled people. We need to discuss euthanasia.)
JAKE:
Why?
JOEY:
Bukush ah duh wah yuh tuh twuh tuh kih muh wuh yuh kund tuk cuh fuh muh unuhmuh. (Because I don’t want you to try to kill me when you can’t take care of me anymore.)
TWYLA:
Joey?
JOEY:
Pupuh duh ud aw duh tum ih thuh sushiashuh. Day fing ih wiw buh buduh fuh ufuhweh. (People do it all the time in this situation. They think it will be better for everyone.)
JAKE:
Son you know—
JOEY:
Duh tuh muh yuh huvuh toth ubuh ih. (Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.)
JAKE:
I can’t stand the thought of you being alone—
JOEY:
Ah wun buh uhluh. Un ah dun wunuh dah. Pumush. (I won’t be alone. And I don’t wanna die. Promise.)
Pause.
JAKE:
Okay I promise. No murder suicide.
JOEY:
Um nuh jukuh. (I’m not joking.)
JAKE:
Neither am I. (JAKE stifles a moan.) But maybe we should talk about that medication now.
JOEY:
Un Dah.
JAKE:
What?
JOEY:
Ah nuh huh muh pah yuh ah ih. Ih wung fuh yuh tuh buh leg tish. (I know how much pain you are in. It’s wrong for you to be like this.)
JAKE:
I don’t have a lot of other options.
JOEY:
Yuh. Yuh duh. Un al duh uh. Ah duh cuh abuh duh nushewanch. (Yes. You do. And I’ll do it. I don’t care about the insurance.)