by Roxie Rivera
"Do you have a child with her?"
"What?" He went ramrod straight. "Why would you ask—?"
"I heard you. At Quattro. I heard everything."
Yes, it was clear that she had heard more than he had ever intended—but completely out of context.
Vivian sobbed now. "Do you love her?"
"Oh, baby." He whispered the words on an anguished breath and gathered her in his arms. "No. Never. Never like that."
"Swear it."
"I swear." He put a knee on the bed and dragged her up against the pillows before dropping down beside her. Locking a leg over hers, he pulled her in tight and gazed down at his wife. Mine. Always.
He sifted his fingers through her hair and traced her pouty lips with his thumb. "I've never even kissed Tatiana."
To prove his point, he lowered his hand to the swell of her stomach. It amazed him to think his child was growing in there. "This is the only child I have ever made. You," he kissed her lovingly, "are the only woman I have ever shared this with. You're the only one I trust with something so precious."
Nikolai took his time loving her mouth. He relished the sweet softness of her lips and kissed away the tears clinging to her skin. When she had quieted and seemed calm, he stroked her face. "It's time for me to tell you a story."
"About?"
"About a boy and a girl," he said with a teasing smile. "That's how they usually start anyway."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Which boy and girl?"
"Tatiana Filipova."
"And?"
Nikolai steeled himself for her reaction. "Eric Santos."
Vivian stiffened and bolted upright. Her hair fell around her face as she gawked down at him, and she roughly shoved it behind her ear. "Bullshit!"
He shook his head. "Not bullshit. It's the truth."
"But—"
"Haven't you ever wondered why Eric hates me so much?"
"I just assumed it was because of your connection to the mob and to me."
"That's a large part of it, yes, but my history with Eric goes back a decade."
Vivian slumped against the pillows and rolled onto her side. "Tell me all of it."
"I first met Eric when he was just a beat cop. It wasn't long after the night I—"
"Shot me?" she filled in with a sad voice.
He grimaced and hugged her even closer. "Yes. It might have been late May of that year. I think he suspected I had more to do with the shooting than was publicly known. He pulled me over and did the usual frisk and search. When he didn't find anything, he warned me to stay away from your grandparents and you. I didn't know who the hell he was until later that night when Kostya filled in the blanks for me." Nikolai brushed hair back from her face. "Even back then, Eric was looking out for you."
"I didn't know that. We didn't get close until I was starting high school."
"He wanted to protect you. Whatever my disagreements with Eric, I've always admired and respected him for that."
"Maybe you should tell him that."
He snorted. "Not a chance in hell."
"Nikolai!" She swatted at him, but he captured her hand and brought it to his mouth where he proceeded to kiss the fingertips that held paintbrushes and created such exquisite art.
"Tatiana joined me in Houston not long after that. She had been accepted into an MBA program, and our fathers thought it was time for us to get close. We hated each other at first. She thought I was a bastard and worse than the shit scraped off the bottom of a boot, and I thought she was a spoiled, rich bitch."
"Ouch."
"Yes," he murmured, thinking of their spectacular fights. Looking back, he realized they fought more like siblings than lovers. "Eventually, we realized we were better off as friends than enemies. Neither of us wanted to get married. That was an unholy alliance that we couldn't stomach. I turned a blind eye to her going to clubs and parties, and she left me alone when it came to my business. When she finished her MBA, I made sure that she got a good job with one of the energy trading firms. She taught me everything she could about running a business, accounting and tax laws."
Nikolai paused and gathered his thoughts. "I knew that she was seeing someone, and I knew that it was getting serious, but she wouldn't tell me his name. I had Kostya follow her a few times, just to be sure that she was safe, but she gave him the slip. She was good. So fucking good," he said with a laugh. "If she had been a freelancer, I would have snapped her right up and put her on my payroll. She's a natural when it comes to tradecraft."
He wiped a hand down his face. Next to him, Vivian patiently waited for him to continue his tale. "Tatiana's father started to get impatient when we still hadn’t set a date. I was finding it hard to come up with believable reasons to put him off, and Maksim was starting to ride my ass about getting it done. Tatiana's father was holding a hard line on negotiations and making his life miserable."
He expelled a slow breath. "So Tatiana and I sat down and decided that we would go through with it. We would get married and share the same home—but live separate lives."
Vivian made a noise of disbelief. "I find that hard to believe."
He tried to see things from her point of view. She had only ever known him to be a protective, possessive and alpha husband. "The way I am with you is different, Vee. The three weeks you were in my home before I married you were the hardest, longest weeks of my life." He decided not to admit that doing a bid in solitary was easier than keeping his hands off of her. "Tatiana and I would have kept separate rooms. There would have been no intimacy between us."
"So what went wrong?"
"On the night of our engagement party, she went missing before I gave my toast. I sent Artyom and Ten to find her."
"And?"
"And they found Tatiana and Eric in an alley."
"And?"
He avoided her questioning stare. He didn't imagine she wanted to hear that her cousin had been discovered balls deep and pumping into Tatiana as he fucked her against a wall. "They were in a rather precarious position."
"No!"
"Yes," he grimly confirmed.
"What happened?"
"What do you think? Ten lost his fucking shit, and Artyom had to run inside to grab Vanya. Once I spotted Vanya rushing out of the party, I hauled ass because I was sure we were being attacked or worse. When I got out there, Vanya, Ten and Eric were brawling in the alley. Artyom was holding Tatiana to keep her from getting hurt. I stepped in front of Eric and shoved him out of the way—and Ten hit me so hard I was knocked off my feet."
"Looks like we have something new in common," she remarked.
"How so?"
"I stepped in between Eric and Ten when they were fighting at our house. Eric threw me out of the way, and Ten punched a lamp instead."
"He did what?" Anger burned through him. What the fuck was Ten thinking picking a fight in his home? With his pregnant wife standing right there? "When I get back to Houston, I'm going to break his fucking kneecaps."
"No, you aren't." Vivian petted his chest. "I need him."
He turned his head. "That's a different tune from you."
"He's been good to me. In his own way," she amended. "When I opened my luggage, I found a bag of burner phones programmed with emergency contacts and the address of a safe house. Ten has checked in on me every day."
Nikolai shouldn't have been surprised by Ten's behavior. The man had a list of faults a mile long, but he always completed the jobs assigned to him. He was utterly devoted and loyal. Nikolai breathed easier knowing that Ten's loyalty had shifted to Vivian. She and the baby were in good hands.
Curious, he asked, "Where is the safe house?" Vivian recited the address, and he went rigid. Very carefully, he inquired, "Did Ten tell you anything about that place?"
"He just told me not to sit on the bed if they gave me a room. Bed bugs, I guess."
Nikolai guffawed and rubbed his eyes. "Kotonok, he gave you the address of an infamous whorehouse that an acquaintance of ours
owns."
"What?" she indignantly cried. "He wanted me to seek refuge in a—a—brothel?"
"You would have been safe there."
"I would have been mortified."
"But alive," Nikolai countered. "That's all matters in the end." He shifted his position so he could caress her side while he finished his story. His hand moved from her breast to her hip and back up again in slow, easy strokes. "After I got them all separated, I had Artyom take Eric home. I trusted him not to do anything stupid. Ivan was the only one who could handle Ten so I sent them away together. I took Tatiana back inside the restaurant. We cleaned up as best we could, skipped the toast and made it look as if we couldn't wait to get home."
"And then what happened?"
"Tatiana told me everything. She had met Eric through a college friend. There was an instant attraction, and before she could stop it, they were madly in love. They carried on in secret, but Eric wanted to go public. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to take her away."
"So why didn't he?"
"Maksim and Tatiana's father never would have allowed it. They would have killed him if they had known about him."
"How is he still alive?" She sounded worried and nervous.
"A few days after the brawl, the word got out that Tatiana had a lover. Someone at the party must have seen something. Artyom, Ten, Vanya—they would never have breathed a word of it. It had to have been a member of the catering staff or a guest. Maksim and Mikhail—Tatiana's father—were furious. I had hoped to use her indiscretion as a way to quietly end the arrangement—but they wanted blood."
"Her own father wanted her dead?"
"She had brought shame to their family. She had embarrassed him. She put him in an impossible position with Maksim." Nikolai scratched the top of his head. "I knew exactly how it would end. Mokroye delo." He grimaced. "A total fucking wet job."
Vivian shuddered next to him. She wouldn't have to think hard to fill in those blanks.
"I grabbed her in the middle of the night, threw together one suitcase and put her in a stolen car. I took her to one of Kostya's bolt-holes to hide out while I figured out what the hell to do with her—and that's when she told me that she was pregnant."
Vivian gasped. "She was pregnant? With Eric's baby?"
"Yes." Now familiar with the overwhelming need to protect his own baby, Nikolai better understood Tatiana's desperate desire to save hers. "I had to do something. Kostya made the arrangements while I sniffed around to make sure no one had seen her with Eric. We got lucky. Neither Maksim nor her father knew she had been fucking around with a Mexican cop." He blew out a strangled breath. "They would have gone ballistic if they had connected the dots back to your father." Then, with a harsh laugh, he added, "Of course, I went right ahead and drew a straight line to Romero eight years later."
Vivian seemed to mull over his statement. "Do you regret it?"
"What? Helping Tatiana disappear?"
"No. Drawing that straight line. Marrying me."
His gaze snapped to her face. "Never. I've said it before, and I'll say it again and again and again. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me." He cupped her pregnant belly. "The family we're building is the greatest achievement in my life. You and this baby are my reason for living."
Satisfied with his response, Vivian nestled into his embrace. "How did you help Tatiana disappear?"
Nikolai didn't want to burden her with too many of the gruesome details, but he had promised to tell her the truth about everything. "Kostya bruised her up, wrecked a car and stuck her in it. He covered her in blood and glass. We made sure Ten was with me when Kostya called to tell me that he had been chasing her, and it had gone wrong. We needed a witness. Ten and I found the scene Kostya had staged."
"And then?"
"Ten was tasked with getting rid of the car. Kostya wrapped Tatiana sedated body in a tarp and put her in the back of his SUV. I went with him to his workshop where the rest of it was done."
"What do you mean?"
"Kostya got ahold of a fresh male body. He figured that a Latino guy would be the best cover, especially if someone had gotten a glimpse of Eric. We needed to make sure the bosses over in the old country had no reason to come over here to sniff around and ask questions. Kostya ruined the dead man's face to make sure that no one would be able to tell if it was Eric or not."
"Where did he get a body?"
"Sladkaya." He kissed her forehead. "We don't ask questions like that of Kostya."
"Never?"
He shook his head. "There are things that even I don't want to know."
"So what happened next?"
"We took photographs—and fingers."
Vivian sucked in a horrified breath. "You cut off her finger!"
Nikolai cringed. "It was distasteful in the extreme, but it had to be done. Kostya made sure the procedure was as painless as possible and as safe for the baby as he could make it. He took the pinkie off her right hand. It was sent back to Russia with the man's finger. Maksim and Mikhail accepted the proof—and that was that."
"But Ten must have seen Eric later. And Arty and Ivan," she added. "What did they think?"
"They didn't need to think anything. Tatiana was dead. The big bosses were happy. That's all that mattered. If they did think anything, it was that Kostya had accidentally clipped the wrong man. But it was done. Finished. There was no point in talking about it or asking questions."
"Why did you send her to Hong Kong?"
"We didn't. Not at first. She went to Sydney to lay low until the baby was born." He didn't want to tell her this part of the story, but there was no stopping now. "She lost the baby around twenty weeks. There was some sort of birth defect. Bad chromosomes." He swallowed hard at the fear of something so terrible happening to his own child. "It was a girl."
"Does Eric know?"
"No."
"Why not?" Anger filled her voice. "He was that baby's father. He has a right to know!"
"Tatiana didn't want him to come looking for her. It wasn't safe. I agreed with that. We planned to tell him when the time was right…but then she lost the baby and she decided that it was better to let him go."
"What about Eric? What about what he wanted?"
"That wasn't my problem or my concern." Vivian clicked her teeth, and he cast a glance her way. "I know how cold that sounds, but it's the truth. Tatiana was my friend. Eric wasn't. I protected her and him at great cost to myself."
She digested that statement before asking, "Didn't Eric dig around and look for her?"
"He did. He only came up against dead ends. You know what Kostya is like. He's frighteningly thorough. We made it look as if she had packed up and run in the middle of the night. There was no trace of the car wreck we had staged for Maksim and her father."
Nikolai hesitated before admitting, "Eric came to see me one night, in the alley behind Samovar. He was drunk and angry. He tried to force me to confess to hurting her, but I wouldn't. He attacked me. We fought. It was bloody and violent. The little bastard cut me with a beer bottle he scrounged out of the garbage, and I knocked him out with a knee to the head."
"That's awful!"
"It was."
Vivian's finger traced the thick, knotted scar that arced across his chest. "Here?"
Nikolai nodded. "We've been enemies ever since. Everyone in the underworld assumed I had had Tatiana and her boyfriend killed. I was happy to let them all think that, including Eric."
"Nikolai," she said sadly.
He patted her hand. "It was the right thing to do. People think the worst of me anyway. Better to let them think I had clipped my fiancée and the man she cuckolded me with than to have them questioning my authority or resolve."
"I still don't like it."
"I know you don't. I did it to protect both of them. It was the only way."
Vivian sighed. "If you went to all of this trouble to help her disappear and to build a new life as Tatiana Melnikova, why in the world is she back n
ow? Why is she risking everything?"
"Her father is dead. Her brother is dead. She has no blood family left. Her father's crime family has fallen to pieces. Most of it was absorbed into Maksim's organization. There is no threat to her life or Eric's now." He paused to re-evaluate his words. "Well—there shouldn't be, but I think Maksim is unhappy that she's still alive."
"Because you lied to him?"
"That's part of it, yes." He trailed his finger down her cheek and along her jaw. "She found something during an audit this spring. There's a series of payments twice every year that go from a Moscow bank account to various accounts from Hong Kong to San Francisco to Houston. She tracked the funds back to one of Maksim's shell corporations. She assumed I was on the other end of that transaction, but I’m not. We don't know who he is paying, but it's a lot of money. It goes back twenty years."
"Twenty!"
"Curious, huh?"
"Very."
"But the main reason Tatiana wanted to see me is that she's been offered an amazing new job. Evgeni Zhukov has been trying to headhunt her to join his firm. If she makes the jump, she might have business that would bring her to Houston. She didn't want to cause problems for me."
"But she did cause problems for you," Vivian insisted.
"Yes, she did." He brushed his knuckles along her face. "But most of that trouble was of my own making. I should have been straight with you about Tatiana and Eric. I should have told you she was back in town. I should have told you that we were going to have a private meeting."
"But you didn’t," Vivian whispered.
Shame gutted him. "I didn't."
"Why?"
"I don't know." He shook his head. "I never wanted any of that to touch you. I didn't want to put you in a position where you had to keep a secret from Eric. I didn't want you to worry about this woman coming back into my life." He touched his forehead to hers. "It was stupid. I made it worse by trying to shield you." He gulped anxiously. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes." She gave her answer freely and without reluctance or hesitation.
"I don’t deserve it."
"I love you. I want to make our marriage work—but you have to work with me."
"I understand that now. Lately, I've done everything wrong. I've hurt you and made you cry. I'm a miserable fucking bastard for that. I'll try harder, Vivian." He held her gaze and swore his vow. "I'll try so fucking hard to be good and to make you proud. I'll do anything, Vivian. I'll do anything you want."