My finger slid just a little higher, the barest brush of wet hot lace against my skin. I was going to hell.
A part of me died inside as I yanked my hand out and onto the countertop.
“Emmett…” she murmured, her hips rocked back against my throbbing cock.
Forget going… I was already there.
There was a viselike grip around my chest. I was so close to flipping up her sweater right here and ramming myself inside her slippery sex that my grip could have broken the sink. “Is that what you want, Ally?” Her shudder wasn’t a good enough answer. “Tell me.”
“I-it doesn’t matter.” It mattered to me. Fuck, it mattered.
“Tell me.” I ground against her again, enjoying her gasp.
Her head turned to mine. Looking me in the eye, not in the mirror. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Tell me.” I needed her answer more than I needed air.
“It doesn’t matter because I have my period.”
I slipped my hands to her waist letting my thumbs rub circles along the edge of her ass, rocking her back against me.
Smiling against her neck, I growled, “It does matter.”
Because you are mine.
I kissed the soft skin underneath my lips, bribing them to not say the words that I was thinking. Space. I took one last inhale and then put feet between us before I made good on my word. “Just keep in mind, sunshine, that just because Chance isn’t here doesn’t mean he won’t be back the second I tell him what I saw tonight.”
“He won’t come back,” she said painfully and I regretted bringing Pride up. In the mirror, I saw her face flushed and eyes heavy with angry desire as she added, “and it doesn’t matter. Tonight, at least.” She did it on purpose. Just like I did. We taunted each other with the desire we’d never admit to—a desire that we were forever on the brink of being engulfed by.
I let my gaze trace lazily over her. From her flushed cheeks to her nipples that were so hard I could see them through her bra and dress, down over the part of her I knew was wet and swollen for me; all of these things my disturbed mind cataloged for later. Images I could go back to; the only things that would give me release.
“And period or not, I would have already been inside you by now.”
I ignored the stares of the three women who were waiting outside the Ladies’ Room when I walked out, giving them a sexy smile and a wink as I made my way over to the table where the brunette was still waiting—surprisingly. Part of me had hoped she wasn’t. The other part of me insisted I have another few drinks and lose myself in a woman that I didn’t feel responsible for, didn’t desire with any measurable intensity, and most of all, didn’t care two shits about—a woman who felt the same about me.
6. I hated the way he stared at me—like he knew that all I could think about was him.
EXPLOSIVE CHEMISTRY.
That was the crux of the problem between Emmett and me.
What we had could light up the whole damn sky. And it could destroy the world in the very same second.
That night after another drink, a half an hour more of flirting with my date, and seeing Emmett leave with the brunette that he’d been talking to, I went down on Zack in his truck.
I told myself it wasn’t because I was trying to get back at Emmett. Ever the perfect gentleman, Zack didn’t try anything similar on me. He didn’t tease up my sweater, his fingers coming closer and closer to where I wanted them, driving me crazy with what he knew I wanted—and what he wanted to give me. No, Zach kept his hands above my waist at all times once he realized I was tipsy.
Emmett disappeared again after that night. No. He was there. He was always there. But at a distance. Sometimes I saw him, sometimes I didn’t. I always felt him though, keeping an eye on me.
He made sure no one gave me trouble at work. He made sure Zack was always respectful. He never confronted me again—at least directly. He usually sent Tammy as his little messenger—and she went along with it because she was concerned about me like a mom would be. Every day that Zack took me home from work instead of her, I would get a text just as I walked in the door, making sure I was home safely. She didn’t have to tell me that it was Emmett who’d asked her to do it—but she did.
‘He’s the oldest of all of them, Ally. He’s just looking out for the two of you with Chance gone. Maybe you shouldn’t be so harsh on him.’
Maybe if she knew how harsh his presence was on my body, she would change her tune.
I tried not to think about that night—just like I tried not to think about Halloween—or all the other moments where he took one step close to me and then two steps back. Listening to Chan tell me about how she slept with Wyatt, seeing the two of them together, all I could think about was how it was becoming painfully obvious that I wanted Emmett ‘King’ Jameson.
And how much that asshole was so good at pretending not to want me.
Except in those moments that were enshrined in my memory. And I held onto them for dear life.
My phone buzzed.
NICK
WHERE ARE YOU?
ALLY
LEAVING IN FIVE!
NICK
YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE.
ALLY
THANKS;)
I tried to sound excited, but things between Zack and me had started to fizzle. I didn’t know how to explain it, but since that night, I’d pulled back. He didn’t make me feel like Emmett did but that wasn’t the reason—at least not all of it.
Zack began to talk to me a lot about the future and finishing his masters degree—whether he meant back in Canada or transferring to here, I wasn’t sure and I was afraid to ask. The pit in my stomach wondered if he was going to ask me to move with him back to Canada just like he thought Wyatt was going to ask Channing after the Games. It was an assumption that we’d actually gotten in a fight about it a few hours earlier.
Zack had insisted that he’d heard Wyatt on the phone—that he knew Wyatt was making plans with some businessmen back in Montreal. I refused to believe it, arguing that my sister would never leave me or the mountain. However, I was crumbling inside because the way that she was with Wyatt whispered that she would.
Another loss.
Dylan. Chance. Channing.
Who was next?
Not Emmett, I laughed pitifully to myself. Why was it the only person I hated was the only one who hadn’t left me?
I looked up out my window, silently telling God to hit me with his best shot. I, too, wondered just how much more I could take.
“Ally! You almost ready?”
Channing and I were meeting the guys at Big Louie’s. I’d just spent the better part of an hour trying to help her get ready and now, she was rushing me. Looking in the mirror again, I checked my outfit for the evening. I had a crop top on and the same boots that I’d worn to karaoke the other week. It was a little risqué—but it wasn’t for him. I wasn’t trying to provoke him. Nope. Not in the slightest, I assured myself as I adjusted my skirt that was just a hair too short. Spraying my Guerlain perfume on, I spun in the mist.
“Ready!” I grabbed my jacket and hurried downstairs, my heels clicking against the wood almost as fast as my pulse.
The last time Emmett and I had both been at Big Louie’s was Halloween and the memory of that night, being seared into my being, emerged as soon as we entered the crowded bar.
The girls and I usually stuck to the smaller, classier Peak’s Pub for our girls’ nights. Although, I’d only made that suggestion because I knew if I came to Big Louie’s there was a greater chance we would run into Nick and Emmett and whatever girls they were with; I didn’t need any more of those images in my mind, so Peak’s became my preference.
The place was completely packed, but we finally found our way around to the other side of the bar where our group was. Zack came up to me, picked me up, and kissed me.
“Sorry about earlier, babe,” he said softly into my ear. “Didn’t mean to upset you.”
&nbs
p; I just smiled at him, hoping it was enough. It wasn’t that we’d really fought earlier. He certainly hadn’t made me as angry as Emmett did on a regular basis. But his insistence about Wyatt and my sister leaving had hurt me and I appreciated his apology even if he had no idea just what damage his speculation had done.
I hadn’t told him about Dylan. Or Chance for that matter. The losses could consume me if I let them; it was better to not even give them a chance.
He helped me out of my coat, his eyes widening at my outfit. “You look hot tonight.” He leaned down and kissed by my ear.
“You clean up pretty nicely yourself, Mr. Olsen.” Our make-up moment ended as Nick came over to greet us.
As he and Zack talked, I saw Wyatt find my sister—and the outfit that I’d put together for her. The way he looked at her—the intensity and depth of his feelings… Sure, Zack was attracted to me and he looked at me like he wanted me, but it was never like that. It was never with the possessive and explosive connection that Wyatt had for Channing; he looked at her like she was what was keeping him alive. The only person who looked at me with that kind of force was Emmett, only his gaze told me that I wasn’t helping him survive; I was the thing that was destroying him.
What scared me even more was that Dyl had never looked at me like that either…
Refocusing on the way Chan wore her heart on her sleeve when she was with Wyatt made my stomach tighten with the sweet and sour mix of happiness and jealousy.
I had to talk to Channing tomorrow. I had to tell her that Wyatt might be moving—that he might want her to go with him.
And that if he did, she should go.
Watching the two of them was like watching one of my Hallmark movies that I always got sucked into; that kind of love you don’t let slip away no matter what the cost. No matter what it would cost me.
My cheeks warmed slightly as I intruded on their reunion which continued for a second longer. My head jerked away when my dangerously gorgeous nemesis interrupted my movie, his eyes catching mine before he greeted Wyatt and Chan.
I quickly plastered on my practiced smile and turned back to Nick, Zack, and some of Nick’s friends from school, joining their conversation.
I only half listened to everyone. Their discussion ranged from Fantasy Football teams to bets on who would win various events at the X Games next weekend.
One more thing I had to talk to my sister about; there was no way she could compete as our brother. She had to know that now.
“Do you want me to get you a drink, babe?” I tried to not look too eager when I nodded. “I’ll pick something good.”
I cringed because I knew it probably wasn’t going to be something that I liked, but I felt bad saying anything; I hadn’t said anything for so long, it would be awkward to start now.
A minute later, my body shivered violently as goosebumps ran up my spine. Before I could even turn, an arm reached in front of me, setting a tall glass of amber liquid on the bar table.
“Dark ‘n’ Stormy.” I knew his rasp. He knew my drink. “The only one you are having tonight.”
Tension balled in my stomach. I should fight back and give him just as much attitude as he deserved. But I was tired of fighting; I was tired of wanting.
“Fucking hell, Ally. What are you wearing?” Emmett growled angrily at me.
My head turned, allowing my stare to become prey to his.
That. That look.
That was the one that Wyatt gave Channing. Only more. Emmett’s angry assessment raked over me swiftly before those severe black eyes met mine. I was what could destroy him, but he looked at me as though his life would be worth the taste.
I knew because I felt the same.
“What did I tell you about dressing like this?” he growled. “Fuck this.”
My mouth fell and my eyes spotted Zack on his way back over. Emmett spun, grabbing the second glass from Zack’s hand and stalked away.
“What the—“ Zack looked over to me and then back to Emmett who’d walked off with my drink.
“Channing got this for me.” I held up the drink that Channing had definitely not bought for me and shrugged my shoulders. Even though his eyes narrowed, he moved back to my side and wrapped his arm possessively around my waist.
Once the conversation resumed, my eyes drifted into the crowd, looking for flaming red. I wished that was the reason he was always so easy for me to find. I choked on the stupid delicious drink—the ginger beer burning right down into my lungs when I saw Emmett and the same brunette from the other night. According to Channing, it seemed Emmett rarely slept with the same girl twice. There was a new movie playing in front of me, except instead of a love story, it was my nightmare.
No one else noticed, but she was wearing my sweater. Ok, not my exact one. But it sure looked like the one I’d had on the other night when she saw me with Emmett outside the bar. Why wasn’t he reeling that it was too short on her? Because I was the child who needed to be scolded; I was the child he was responsible for. And she was the one who filled out the dress better—the one he could take full advantage of.
I pushed my drink to Zack, telling him it tasted bad and asking if he’d get me one of whatever he had. It was childish retaliation, but for a second, I felt better. The alcohol only added to the sensation that I was watching my heart being stabbed over and over again in slow motion. This time, he wasn’t looking at me as he touched her and whispered in her ear or when he began kissing her. He paid no attention to me at all. No matter how I stared a hole through him, I didn’t even get a sideways glance.
Zack’s hand rubbed my arm and I immediately looked up to him, but he wasn’t even trying to get my attention. Even if I jumped on Zack right now, Emmett was too busy to notice.
My thoughts began to spiral as Channing and Wyatt interrupted us to say good-bye. Numbly, I hugged her, hearing that she was staying at Wyatt’s tonight.
As they walked away, I glanced back over to Emmett who had disappeared—along with the girl. Loneliness crashed over me like a tsunami. It was one thing when the people I loved left me. But now, even the people who I hated—who I’d somehow grown accustomed to their angry, brooding presence—were leaving me.
Zack was still here, but it wasn’t enough; as great as he was, he hadn’t wormed his way inside my empty shell. I still felt like he wasn’t a loss that I would really miss.
“I’m just going to the restroom, I’ll be right back.” I murmured to Zack, who nodded, continuing to talk to this other couple whose names I couldn’t recall.
I pushed through the crowd and pushed out the front door. I didn’t need the bathroom; I needed the cold air. I needed it to shock me back to life.
The frigidness of the air crystallized the hurt flowing through my body. Relief.
“No, I’m not coming to see her and yes, she is doing the treatment; I don’t care what she wants or says. We’ve been over this a thousand times.” My head turned and I walked slowly to the side of the building where I heard Emmett’s voice. “Just because I send the money doesn’t mean I have any further expectation. And I’m fucking tired of being asked.”
He was angry. And he was alone. Wherever the brunette had gone, she wasn’t here. My feet carried me quietly closer. His entire body was tense. One hand rubbing back and forth over the top of his head in agitation.
“I’m not coming, Ruth. Don’t fucking call to ask me again.” He hung up and spun towards me before I could even think about disappearing.
He blinked, as surprised to see me as I’d been to find him.
“What are you doing out here?” He quickly recovered from the surprise, but not from the aggravation that overlay the pain bleeding through his eyes.
And I ignored his question. “Is everything ok?”
His phone began to buzz again but he silenced it and shoved it in his pocket, walking towards me. “Did you follow me out here?”
“No!” I wasn’t that bad. “Of course not. Why would I have followed you?” I scoffed
, crossing my arms over my stomach, the cold no longer feeling so therapeutic.
“Maybe because you’ve been staring at me all night.”
I hated him. “Well, I was afraid I was going to have to call Big Louie over to throw you out for having sex in the corner of his bar.”
“Trust me, Sunshine, that wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve done in his bar.” His laugh only wound my body tighter. “Why are you out here?” he demanded again, now only a foot in front of me. The proximity of his hardness warmed me as though I were standing in front of a flame.
“Why are not going to see whomever you were talking about?” I volleyed my question back.
His jaw ticked. “None of your business, Sunshine.”
“Right back at you, then.” My chin tipped up defiantly. This brought me back. He made the hole inside not seem so big because he and his attitude, his looks, his scolding, his anger, his desire, completely filled the space. Overfilled, really.
“Go inside, Ally.” He chuckled my name with a deadly softness to the noise. “Go back to your boyfriend and let him enjoy what it is you’re offering.”
His presence sewed together the pieces of me, even though the needle stabbed me with every stitch.
“Oh, so a week ago you were about ready to beat him up, earlier you were about ready to crucify me for my outfit, but now you want me to go back inside to him? Are you on drugs?” I asked with astonished frustration. I laughed nervously as the stupid tequila and his successful attempt to ignore me pulled these taunts from my lips.
He laughed again, irritating me even further. “You and your sister seem to have your own ideas… your own plans… and I’m no longer going to be responsible for them. I don’t know how the hell Chance did it, but I’m done. I have enough shit to deal with.”
Whatever that phone call had been about, it had hurt him in a way I didn’t think possible. And I hurt for him in a way I didn’t think myself capable of doing.
The Winter Games Page 45