by Dani Collins
It was flirty nonsense. Banter. But she was incredibly sensitive to words like “ruin.”
She swallowed. “I don’t want to be your downfall, Luca. I don’t want...”
He sobered and brushed a wisp of hair away from her cheek. “What?”
She didn’t want to get hurt. Not again.
“I don’t want to get confused about what this is.” She touched a button on his shirt. “It’s just an affair. Right? For a couple of weeks? To, um, take the worst of the poison out of what’s going on out there?” She jerked her chin toward the world at large.
He backed off, equally somber. “We barely know each other,” he reminded her. “I’m not saying I don’t take this seriously, but I can’t promise anything permanent. I’ve never had the luxury of contemplating a future with anyone. Marriage has always been something I would undertake with a woman vetted by a team of palace advisers.” His mouth twisted and he dropped his hands to his sides, fully stepping away. “I still have to think that way until Sofia marries and produces our next ruler.”
“So you’re offering an affair.” She hugged herself. “That’s fine, but I need to be clear on what to expect since we’ll be pretending it’s...more.”
After a long moment, he gave a jerky nod. “Yes,” he agreed. “Just an affair.”
And wasn’t that romantic.
She looked to where the sun had set and the sky was fading. The glow of excitement inside her had dimmed and dulled, too.
“We should go down while we still have light,” she suggested, more to pivot from how bereft she suddenly felt.
He looked as though he wanted to say something, but stifled it and nodded.
He went in front of her, promising to catch her if she missed a foot on the narrow, uneven steps. It was dizzying and nerve-racking, and she clung tightly to the rope that was strung through iron rings mounted to the wall, thinking the whole time, Don’t fall, don’t fall.
But she feared she probably would.
CHAPTER NINE
LUCA WAS RESTLESS and prickly. He blamed the fact he was at a crossroads, having given up the throne, but not yet having found his place in the new order. The work that typically dominated his thoughts now fell to his sister, and the mental vacuum allowed him to dwell on the public’s reaction to his fall from grace.
And the woman who had caused it.
They weren’t dressing for dinner, but Amy had disappeared to call her business partners, leaving him to nurse a drink and contemplate how completely she seemed to have shut down once he’d pronounced that this was only an affair.
Did she want it to be more? Did he?
He felt as though he’d disappointed her with his answer. Hurt her. That frustrated him. He’d been as honest as possible. Up until that moment, she’d been her bright and funny self. An amusing companion who made him feel alive in ways he had never experienced.
Damn but that was a lot of feelings. He didn’t do feelings. They were messy and tended to create the sort of disaster he’d been scrupulously trained to avoid. He’d accomplished what he wanted by giving in to his lust for Amy, but it was time to go back to being his circumspect, disciplined self.
Which meant he shouldn’t have a real affair with her, but the mere thought of denying himself when she was willing caused a host of feelings that were more like a swarm of hornets inside him. Which was exactly why he shouldn’t indulge—
He swore aloud and set aside his drink as though he could set aside his brooding as easily. Filtering through his texts and emails, he picked up one from an old friend, Emiliano. They had met through their shared interest in emerging tech. Emiliano had since increased his family’s fortune by developing tools for facial recognition software.
News bulletin says you’re in Milan? I’m at my villa on Lago di Guarda. Join me if you want to escape the fray.
His villa was a comfortable and well-guarded compound.
Luca texted back.
Grazie. We’re fine, but I’ll be in touch about the solar tiles we discussed last year.
Luca moved on, but Emiliano promptly texted back.
Sounds good. The invitation is open anytime. Tell Amy I said hello.
Just like that, Luca’s agitation turned to a ferocious swarm of stinging jealousy.
Jealousy was the most childish of all emotions, but he was bothered and even more bothered by the fact he was bothered. He was having feelings about his feelings, and it was annoying as hell.
Amy returned wearing a concerned frown.
“Is everything all right?” he made himself ask, trying to overcome his sudden possessiveness.
“Clare’s overseas and Bea has gone off with a client,” she said with a perplexed shake of her head. “When we talked her into joining us, it was purely for legal support, but she got roped into working directly with Ares Lykaios. You would have seen his name on our website. He’s our biggest client. We owe him for putting us on the map.”
“I know who he is.” And there was no reason Luca should feel so threatened that he would ask, “Would you rather be in her place right now?” He hated himself for it.
“A little. Bea must be out of her depth. He’s tough and assertive, and Bea’s shy by nature. It’s always been our dynamic that she helps me work through my internal rubbish and I play her wingman in the external world. She might not know how to handle Ares.”
“But you do?”
Her air of distraction evaporated and she narrowed her attention onto him. “He’s a client whose professional needs dovetail with the services I offer. Why? What are you suggesting?”
“Nothing,” he muttered, disgusted with himself.
“You meant something,” she accused. “I don’t have personal relationships with clients, Luca. That’s why you no longer are one.”
“Is Emiliano Ricci a client? Is that how you know him?”
Her expression blanked with surprise, then she shrugged. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. He’s not. Why? You said you didn’t care what I’d done or with whom.”
“I don’t,” Luca insisted, pacing the lounge. “You were lovers, though?”
“I met him on a weekend cruise for app developers. We talked about social media and how to play the algorithms to become an influencer. I think I’d rather return my mother’s phone call than continue this conversation.”
He let her walk out. He told himself to let her go, to hold himself at a necessary distance. His feelings were too strong as it was. But the farther away she got, the more he knew he was totally blowing this.
“Amy,” he called from the bottom of the main staircase.
She paused at the top to give him a haughty look from the rail.
“I don’t want to care—” he bit out what felt like an enormous confession “—but I do.”
“Good for you. I don’t.” She sailed along the gallery.
The hell she didn’t! He took the stairs two at a time and opened the door to the guest bedroom that she had just slammed in his face.
She swung around to glare at him.
“I don’t like having emotions I can’t control,” he said through his gritted teeth. “Perhaps I should ask your friend Bea to help me work through them?”
Such outraged hostility flashed in her bright green eyes, he nearly threw his head back and laughed. “See? You don’t like it, either.”
She folded her arms, chin up. “You chased me all the way up here to see if you could make me as pointlessly jealous as you are?”
“I’m not proud of it.” He closed in on her. “But I needed to know whether you were capable of it.”
“Jealousy comes from insecurity. I’m not an insecure person.” She narrowed her eyes and held her ground. Temper crackled around her. She resisted his attempt to unfold her arms.
“Neither am I.” He managed to draw her
stiff arms open and kissed the inside of each of her blue-veined wrists. “But we haven’t had time to become confident in each other, have we? So we’re failing the test.”
“You specifically told me not to believe in this!” She freed a hand to fling it out with exasperation. “You’re the one who said it was a meaningless affair.”
“I never said meaningless.”
She tried to pull her arm away, but he held on to her wrist. Her struggle drew her closer. Her nose was even with his chin, her gaze wide and surprisingly defenseless beneath the sparks of anger.
That vulnerability dug into him the way her temper and his own conflicting emotions hadn’t. He drew her in with great care, twining her one arm behind his lower back, then massaged her stiff shoulders.
“I’ve always known exactly what was expected of me,” he said. “And I’ve always met and exceeded those expectations.” His lips were tickled by flyaway strands of her hair. “But from the moment I met you, I have been off-center. I know what I should be thinking and saying and doing, but I can’t make myself do it. Every instinct in me wants to have you.” His arms tightened around her. “But I can’t let that animal win. Not when I know how dangerous it is. The war inside me is killing me so you’ll have to forgive the snarls.” He ran his hand into her lower back.
It took a few circles of his palm before she released a noise that landed somewhere between defeat and petulance.
“This is new for me, too. From the job you hired me for to how I react to you...” She picked one of her red-gold hairs off his sleeve, then rested her hand where it had been. “I’m not being coy. This is hard to navigate.”
“I know. I’ve made it hard. You have a right to be angry with me, which makes me less sure of you.” He let one hand settle above her tailbone.
“I’m not angry or blaming you.” Her brow pulled with consternation. “I took the job and slept with you. I caused us to be seen. I know how much of this is on me and that’s hard, too. I’m worried about how our efforts to turn this around will pan out.”
“It’s going to be harder if we’re fighting, no?”
“Whose fault is that?” she admonished, but grew pliant, leaning her thighs against his.
“Guilty.” He let his fingers fan out to graze the upper curve of her backside. “Maybe we should kiss and make up. For the sake of our image.”
“Humph.” Her lips twitched. “Here in the privacy of this bedroom? Where no one can see us? A strong brand has to be reinforced consistently.”
“Ooh. More shop talk, amata mia.” He nuzzled his mouth into her throat, groaning with mock lust. “It makes me so hot.”
She laughed and tried to shrug away from his tickling kiss. “Does it? Because I was going to say that I’m currently with the only man who interests me, but okay. Let me tell you about shareable infographics.”
He lifted his head, accosted by the most intense flush of pleasure. The kind that should have had an orgasm as its source. And yes, he hoped to experience one of those very soon, but this was even more deeply affecting because it wasn’t a biological reaction. It was an expansive, chaotic and thrilling reaction to a throwaway remark she had buried in nonsensical teasing. It was terrifying how much it meant to him.
“What?” she asked, smile faltering.
“Nothing.” He cupped her cheek and set his mouth across hers, the avaricious beast in him howling to consume her, but something soft and equally ravenous urged him to be tender. To savor as he plundered. To pour himself into her even as he felt her start of surprise and tasted her broken sigh of capitulation.
* * *
Amy had been confused after their rooftop discussion, coming away wondering if she was allowing herself to be used again. She had wanted desperately to reach out to her friends to start putting all of this into perspective.
Neither had been available and for a few minutes, when she’d come back to the lounge, things between her and Luca had seemed to devolve into chaos. She had stalked up here insulted and filled with misgivings and now...
Now she was more confused than ever.
If he was using her, it was in the most tender way possible. His kiss was fierce and insatiable and shatteringly gentle. He was treating her like she was precious and irresistible. He unraveled her ability to think clear thoughts.
She knew nothing but her body and the feel of him where he touched her. The fingerprints he traced on her cheeks near her ear, the playful scrape of his teeth on her bottom lip, the brush of his thighs against hers and the wonderous way he cradled her breast.
The onslaught wasn’t only physical. There was tremendous emotion welling in her as she heard his muted groan ring in his chest. She thrilled to the press of his erection into her middle and sighed with adoration when he touched his lips to her brow.
And she trembled. It was nearly too much, the way he made her feel so beautiful and treasured at once. The way he had shared his struggle. She felt it in the brief bite of his fingertips into her hips before he slowly eased her clothing away. Tasted it like whiskey on his tongue when he made love to her mouth before he kissed the nipples he’d exposed and slowly, erotically, made her writhe with need by sucking on them.
“Luca,” she gasped.
His eyes were incandescent as he backed her toward the bed. Then he was over her, both of them with their clothing askew, but neither was willing to break apart to undress completely.
“I need you to take me inside you. I need that like I need air to breathe,” he said, making her shiver.
With damp eyes, she nodded, needing it too. Needing the physical closeness to seal the schism that had been wrought by the betraying photo and everything that had come after.
Moments later, he had sheathed himself and, both still half-dressed, disheveled and frantic, they came together with a shudder of grand surrender to the passion they couldn’t resist.
He held himself inside her as he brushed her hair from where it was caught on her eyelashes. She turned her mouth into the flexing curve of his biceps, tasting his skin and feeling drunk.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live without this.” As the words left her, she realized she had spoken them aloud.
She saw the beast then. Caught the flash of feral possessiveness before his mouth was at the corner of hers, soft and tender and sweet again.
“Be with me now,” he commanded.
He began to move. She had no choice but to lose herself to the exaltation that was the result of their lovemaking. The pleasure lifted her even as it seemed to strip her of any outer, protective layers, until she was nothing but pure being. Pure reaction.
Undone and completely vulnerable.
But he took care of her. Such care. Drawing her to the peak with those kisses of reverence and blatant hunger. Watching her with such pride and pleasure in her joyous ascent to climax.
“I want you with me,” she gasped.
“I’m right here.” His voice seemed to speak inside her head, they were so attuned.
And then they were splintering together, writhing and groaning and throbbing in perfectly synchronized culmination.
It was so powerful and magnificent, she couldn’t open her eyes after. She stayed in that state of mutual bliss for ages, convinced they were actually one being.
“That was incredible,” he whispered when they finally disengaged. He discarded the condom and they shifted to a more comfortable position. His fingers sifted through her hair then settled against her scalp, tangled in the strands. “Green-eyed monster slayed. I was a fool to think any man from your past could have any bearing on what we have.”
His words should have been reassuring, but her eyes snapped open as one particular man from her past jumped into her head.
It wouldn’t come out, she assured herself, while clammy fingers of apprehension squeezed her lungs. Was she being naive? Forewarn
ed was forearmed. She ought to tell him.
It was so shameful, though. She hated to even recollect it. Trying to explain it, to dredge through the guilt and remorse and betrayal by her parents... His view of her would completely change. She didn’t want to ruin this newfound closeness between them. Not right now.
His chest rose and fell beneath her ear as he exhaled into sleep. She snuggled closer and let unpleasant memories drift away.
* * *
“How does it feel to no longer be the most noteworthy person in the room?” Luca’s twin asked as she appeared beside him.
Queen Sofia of Vallia was the height of elegance in one of their mother’s vintage gowns and a tiara from the crown jewel collection. Her attendance at the foundation’s gala was her first public event and their first appearance together since La Inversione, as the press had dubbed her bloodless coup.
Luca noted his sister’s gaze was on Amy where she swiveled for the relentlessly flashing bulbs around her. Was Sofia criticizing the attention Amy was garnering? A twist of hostility wrenched through him aimed at the one person he’d always vowed to lay down his life to protect.
He sipped his drink, dampening his desire to remind her that she had been elevated to her current position at Amy’s expense. “I never wanted to be. You know that.”
“I was teasing.” Her gaze narrowed at his tone. “You like her.”
Which made him realize he was overreacting, damn it.
“I don’t sleep with people I don’t like,” he muttered.
“Obviously. But you really like her. I was under the impression this was all for my benefit,” she mused, looking back at Amy with consideration.
He took another gulp of his drink, guilty because this wasn’t supposed to benefit him at all. Nothing was. Ever. He hadn’t saddled Sofia with running their country so he could enjoy a sexual romp.
“I’ll invite her to lunch,” Sofia said. “Get to know her better.”
“She’s due back in London as soon as we return from Tokyo.”
Her steady gaze asked, And then what?