by Dani Collins
* * *
Finn answered the door to her dressed in camel-coloured trousers and a casual white shirt that highlighted the width of his shoulders. His hair was still damp from a recent shower and his jaw freshly shaven. ‘Wow. You look good enough to eat,’ he said with a glinting smile.
Zoey suppressed a shiver and stepped across the threshold, shooting him a narrow glance on the way past. ‘Don’t even think about it, O’Connell. I’m here to work, not play.’
‘Spoilsport.’ Finn grinned and then closed the door behind her. ‘Come this way—I’m just putting the finishing touches to our meal.’
Zoey followed him to the well-appointed kitchen at the rear of the house, its bank of windows overlooking the garden. She looked at the various items he was preparing on the large island countertop—fillet steaks marinated in red wine and herbs, a melange of green vegetables, potatoes Dauphinoise, as well as a delectable cheese board with seasonal fruit. ‘Impressive. I didn’t know you were so domesticated. I thought you’d get your housekeeper to do that for you.’
‘She only comes in to clean once a week and to look after Tolstoy when I travel.’
Zoey glanced around the room. ‘Where is he?’
‘Sulking upstairs.’ Finn reached for a couple of wine glasses in a cupboard and then placed them on the countertop. ‘I wouldn’t let him go outside after this morning’s contretemps.’ He held up a bottle of red wine. ‘I have white if you’d prefer.’
‘Red is fine, thank you.’ Zoey perched on one of the stools next to the island bench.
He poured two glasses of the red wine and handed her one, holding his up to hers in a toast. ‘So, to working, not playing, together.’ There was a hint of amusement lurking in the background of his dark brown gaze.
Zoey clinked her glass against his, something in her stomach pitching. But would she be able to stick to the rules? Her lower body quivered with the memory of his lovemaking, little pulses and flickers that reminded her of the exquisite magic of his touch. And how much she wanted to feel it again. ‘Cheers,’ she said, her gaze slipping away from the smouldering heat of his.
Finn took a sip of his wine and then placed the glass down as he continued preparing their meal. ‘I’m interviewing the key staff at Brackenfield over the next month. I’ll offer redundancy packages where it’s appropriate, but I plan to do a complete restructure to streamline things to increase efficiency. As a result, some jobs will no longer exist.’
Zoey frowned. ‘But some people have been with us for decades. You can’t just get rid of them.’
‘It’s nothing personal, it’s a business decision. Increasing profit and mitigating losses have to take priority over everything else.’
‘Oh, and I suppose you’ll suddenly decide my job no longer exists,’ Zoey said, shooting him a glare.
‘On the contrary, I’m going to keep you.’ He wiped his hands on a tea towel and added, ‘June would never speak to me again if I let you go.’
‘Could you at least discuss with me first some of the decisions you’re making over staff? I know everyone and their skill set and their personal circumstances.’
‘Your opinion is likely to be too subjective,’ Finn said. ‘I don’t care what a person’s circumstances are—what I care about is whether they are capable of doing their job. I’m running a business, Zoey, not a charity.’
Zoey put her glass of wine down on the counter with a loud thwack. ‘Running a business doesn’t have to be all about profit. You wouldn’t have a business if it weren’t for the people you employ. How can you expect to get the best from them if you only see them as cogs in a wheel instead of as human beings? People who have families to feed, difficulties to overcome, mortgages and rent to pay—’
‘And I suppose the way you and your father have run Brackenfield Advertising with all that touchy-feely stuff has worked well for you?’ His gaze was direct, hard and penetrating.
Zoey couldn’t hold his gaze and jumped down from the stool to walk over to the windows and look at the garden lit up with various lights. Anger rumbled through her at his cold-hearted approach to business but, as he said, had her father’s way been any better?
Her father had pretended to care about his employees but had exploited them on many occasions, just as he’d exploited her, relying on her to do his work for him, to cover for him, to make excuses for him. She had bent herself out of shape to please him, to keep the company going, yet it had all been for nothing. Just as she had done for Rupert—over-adapting to make things work, when all the time behind her back he was cheating on her.
‘I didn’t have much to do with running the company,’ she said, still with her back to Finn. ‘My father refused to make me a director, believing it was a man’s job, not a woman’s, and especially not a young woman’s. He wanted a son, not a daughter, and has spent the last twenty-eight years reminding me of his bitter disappointment.’
She swung round to look at him and added, ‘So, maybe if I’d been able to do things my way, we wouldn’t have had to sell to you at all.’
Finn let out a long sigh and came over to where she was standing. ‘Your father’s a fool for not giving you more responsibility. But, even if you had been able to do things your way, it doesn’t change the fact that businesses have to produce profit otherwise they go under. And then everyone loses—owners, staff, shareholders, even the community at large.’
Zoey flicked him an irritated glance from beneath partially lowered lashes. Everything he said was true to a point, but how could she stand by and watch long-term staff be dismissed as if they didn’t matter? They mattered to her. ‘I just think there are ways to conduct a restructure without destroying people’s lives, that’s all.’
Finn reached for one of her hands and held it between both of his. ‘Look at me, Zoey.’ His voice was low and had a softer quality in it than she had heard before. She lifted her gaze to his and her pulse rate picked up as his thumb began a gentle stroking over the back of her hand. His touch was electrifying, sending tiny shivers down her spine. ‘It’s not my goal to destroy people’s lives,’ he went on. ‘My goal is to—’
Zoey pulled roughly out of his hold. ‘Make money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time.’ She rubbed at her hand in a pointed manner, shooting him another glare. ‘I’ve put everything into my father’s business. I’ve worked so damn hard, and you come sweeping in and want to change it all. There’ll be nothing left to show for all the sacrifices I’ve made. Brackenfield Advertising will be swallowed up by your company. It will be as if it never existed.’
‘I’m not sure what your understanding of a takeover is, but it’s not like a merger,’ Finn said, frowning. ‘And, let me remind you, this was a friendly takeover, not a hostile one. Your father couldn’t wait to sign on the line once I named a sum.’
‘But you didn’t even give me a hint of what was going on.’ Zoey banged her fist against her chest for emphasis. ‘Why was I kept out of the loop? You had the chance to tell me and yet you didn’t.’
He muttered a curse not quite under his breath. ‘It seems to me this anger of yours is misdirected. You need to address this with your father, not me. I told him he should involve you, but he wouldn’t hear of it.’
Zoey swung away from him, wishing now she hadn’t agreed to have dinner with him. ‘You don’t understand how hard this is for me. I’ve waited all my life for a chance to prove myself to my father and you’ve come marching in and taken it all away.’
‘Why is it so important for you to prove yourself to him?’
Zoey momentarily closed her eyes in a tight blink, her arms wrapped around the middle of her body. ‘Because he’s all the family I’ve got.’
Finn came up behind her and, placing his hands on the tops of her shoulders, gently turned her to face him. His gaze had softened, his expression etched in concern. ‘What about your mother?’
&nbs
p; Zoey let out a ragged sigh. ‘She died when I was four. Horse accident. I was at nursery school when it happened. She never regained consciousness. My father didn’t let me see her in hospital or allow me to go to her funeral. He thought it would upset me too much. But it upset me more by not being able to say goodbye to her.’
Finn wrapped his arms around her and brought her close against his body. He rested his chin on the top of her head, one of his hands gently stroking the back of her head in a comforting manner. ‘I’m sorry. That must have been pretty tough on you.’
Zoey leant her cheek against his broad chest, the citrus notes of his aftershave tantalising her nostrils, the steely strength of his arms around her soothing and protective.
‘I was lucky that I had nice stepmothers and nannies over the years. Dad remarried several times, I guess in the attempt to have the son he always wanted, not that it ever happened. Only one of his new wives got pregnant but she had a miscarriage and didn’t try again, but left him soon after.’ She sighed and added, ‘I’ve never been enough for my dad. He wanted a son to pass the business on to and instead got me. And now it’s too late.’
‘He should be more than happy with you,’ Finn said, kissing the top of her head. ‘And what’s this talk of it being too late?’ He eased her away from him to look down at her with a reproving frown. ‘You don’t need your father to be successful. You can do it on your own. You’re talented, Zoey, really talented. You bring a lot of innovation to your projects. They’re fresh and original, and I’m sure it won’t be long before you get the credit you deserve.’
Zoey basked in the glow of his confidence in her. It was so rare for her to hear praise other than from her close friends and hearing it from Finn, whom she respected and admired professionally, was like breathing in clean air after a lifetime of pollution. ‘It’s nice of you to say so.’
His brows lifted in a mock-surprised manner. ‘Nice? Me?’
Zoey gave a rueful smile. ‘You’re nice enough to allow me to bore you with all my baggage.’
He lifted her chin with the end of his finger, his eyes dark and unwavering on hers. ‘I’m beginning to think it’s impossible for you to ever bore me.’ His gaze dipped to her mouth and the atmosphere tightened as if all the oxygen particles in the room had disappeared.
Zoey moistened her lips, her eyes going to the sculpted perfection of his mouth. Her lips began to tingle in anticipation, and a soft but insistent beat of desire fluttered like wings deep in her core. ‘Oh, I don’t think I’m all that exciting...’ She touched his lean jaw with her fingers, trailing them down to his lips. ‘You, on the other hand...’ Her voice dropped down to a whisper.
He captured her hand and held it up to his face, pressing a kiss to the middle of her palm, his eyes still holding hers. ‘Is this working or playing?’ His tone was gently teasing, his smile doing serious damage to her resolve to resist him.
But how could she resist him? He was a drug she hadn’t known she had a penchant for until she kissed him the first time. Now her ardent need of him was a driving force that refused to go away. Every time she was around him, the craving intensified.
Zoey pressed herself a little closer, her lower body coming into intimate contact with his growing erection. ‘I don’t know why this keeps happening between us. I keep telling myself I won’t give in to temptation and then I go ahead and do it.’
‘I can tell you why.’ He smoothed his hand down from below her shoulder blades to the small of her back, pressing her harder into his arousal. ‘Because we both want each other.’
Zoey let out a shuddery breath, the heat of his body calling out to hers with a fierce, primal energy. ‘I don’t want a relationship with anyone right now. Maybe not ever.’
He tipped up her chin, locking his gaze back on hers. ‘Why?’
She bit down into her lower lip, those horrid images inside her head of her ex with his new lover torturing her all over again. ‘My ex cheated on me. It had been happening for months. I came home and found him in our bed with her.’ She closed her eyes in a tight blink and then opened them again to add, ‘He’d even made love to me that same morning. Told me he loved me and all.’
Finn held her apart from him, his frowning gaze holding hers. ‘That is truly despicable. I’m not surprised you’re so against getting involved with anyone again.’
Zoey looked at his chin rather than meet his gaze. ‘I thought things were fine between us. I mean, we’d been together for years. But, looking back, there were lots of red flags I didn’t notice at the time.’ Her gaze crept back to his. ‘It’s only since you and I hooked up that I’ve realised how boring my sex life with him was. Maybe that’s why he strayed. I wasn’t exciting enough for him.’
Finn grasped her by the upper arms in a gentle but firm hold. ‘Don’t go blaming yourself for his shortcomings, Zoey. You’re by far the most exciting lover I’ve ever had. He was the one who chose to cheat rather than discuss any concerns he might have had. You’re better off without him.’
‘Yes, well, I know that, but I just don’t feel ready to date seriously again.’
‘The life of having hook-ups isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be,’ Finn said with a rueful grimace. ‘It too can get a little boring.’
Zoey arched her eyebrows. ‘Don’t tell me the hardened playboy is looking for more permanent pastures on which to graze?’
He gave a crooked smile. ‘Not a chance.’ His hands slipped back down to hold her by the hips. ‘But I’m not averse to having the odd extended fling from time to time.’
Zoey began to toy with one of the buttons on his shirt. ‘How long do your, erm, extended flings normally last?’ She flicked him a glance and added, ‘I’m asking for a friend.’
Finn laughed and brought her closer to his body. ‘Well, let’s see now... I had one that lasted for a month once, but it was a long time ago.’
‘Were you in love with her?’ The question was out before Zoey could monitor her tongue. Was he capable of loving someone to that degree? Or was love something he avoided out of the fear of being hurt as his parents had hurt him?
‘No. I’ve never experienced that feeling.’
‘Would you recognise it if you did?’
‘Would you?’ His gaze was suddenly too direct, too penetrating, for her to hold.
Zoey looked back at the button she was playing with on his shirt. ‘I’m not sure... I really thought I was in love with Rupert, but I can see now that I just cared about him as a person.’
She glanced up at him again. ‘My two ex-flatmates have both recently fallen madly in love with their partners. I don’t think I felt anything like what they feel for their new fiancés. And I am doubly sure Rupert never, ever looked at me the way my friends’ fiancés look at them. As if the world would be an empty place without them in it.’
Finn slid one of his hands up to the nape of her neck, his fingers warm and gentle against her skin. ‘Love can be a beautiful thing when it happens.’
She angled her head at him. ‘So, you actually believe it can happen?’
His fingers splayed through her hair, sending a shiver down her spine. ‘I too have a couple of friends who’ve been lucky enough to find love with each other.’ His lips made a twisted movement. ‘But of course, whether it lasts is another question. So many marriages end in divorce.’
‘But your parents didn’t divorce?’
He made a soft, snorting noise. ‘They never tied the knot in the first place. They broke up a couple of times but drifted back together as drinking and drug buddies. Or so I’m told—I haven’t seen them since I was thirteen.’
Zoey frowned and reached up to touch his face with her hand. ‘I can only imagine how devastated you must have been by them behaving so irresponsibly. Do you know why they became like that? What were their backgrounds like? People who grow up in difficult circumstances often replicate t
hem in their own lives as adults.’
Finn removed his hand from her hair and placed it on the top of her shoulder. His expression became stony, impenetrable. ‘I get a little tired of people who excuse their appalling behaviour on their backgrounds. We all have choices in how we behave.’
‘I know, but it can be really hard for some people to push past the stuff that happened to them, especially in early childhood,’ Zoey said. ‘Children’s brains can be affected by witnessing violence or experiencing abuse. It can have a lifelong impact.’
Finn stepped away from her as if the conversation was causing him discomfort. He scraped a hand through his hair, his mouth tightly set. ‘Look, I know you mean well, but if you’re thinking I’ll ever have a nice, cosy little reunion with my parents, then you’re completely mistaken. I want nothing to do with either of them or the relatives that brought me up.’
Something in Zoey’s stomach dropped. ‘Why are you so hard on your relatives? Were they...abusive?’ She hated even saying the word, wondering if Finn had suffered at the hands of his carers in the most despicable way.
He gave a short, embittered laugh. ‘Depends what you mean by abusive. No one ever laid a hand on me, and I was always fed and clothed, but I was left in no doubt of how much of an inconvenience I was to them. I got passed around three or four families over the years. No one wanted to keep me any length of time. They had their own kids, their own tight little family unit, and I didn’t belong.’
‘Oh, Finn,’ Zoey said. ‘What about your grandparents? Did either set have...?’
‘My father was disowned by his parents for his lifestyle choices. My mother’s parents had me for the occasional weekend in the early years but found the task of taking care of a young child too taxing, especially a child born out of wedlock. They were highly religious and were not averse to telling me I was the spawn of the devil. Both of them died within a couple of years of each other and I was farmed out to various great-aunts and great-uncles.’ He gave a grim smile and added, ‘The only contact I have with any of them is when they ask for money.’