by Dani Collins
But it wasn’t just his lovemaking she would miss. She enjoyed listening to his insights into the advertising business. She felt inspired by his work ethic and stamina. And, while he was a hard task master when they were working together on their creative approach to the Frascatelli account, she found herself rising to the challenge, enjoying the repartee and exchange of ideas. He encouraged her to be bold in her vision, bolder than she had ever been, and it freed her to explore and stretch her creativity in a way she had never done before.
But a tiny seed of doubt kept rattling around her brain over her future working for him. Becoming one of his employees was not the same as owning and operating her own business. How could she operate in a business that was no longer hers?
But, then it had never been hers—her father had seen to that.
The takeover would take some weeks to finally settle, in terms of which staff would be let go and which would move across to Finn’s company. Could she work with him in the long term once their fling was over? How would it feel to see him every day but not in their current context? He would go back to his playboy lifestyle and she would have to learn to be indifferent to him. Indifferent to the many women who came and went in his life. She would have to pretend it didn’t bother her, pretend he didn’t matter to her other than as an employer.
But he did matter.
He mattered more than she wanted to admit. But it was beyond foolish to hope she might matter to him too.
* * *
On their last night in Monte Carlo, Finn took Zoey to a restaurant near the Monte Carlo casino and the stunning Hotel de Paris. They were seated at their table with drinks in front of them, waiting for their meals to arrive. He had been quieter than normal for most of the day and she hadn’t been game enough to ask why. Over the last few hours, she’d often found him looking into the distance with a slight frown on his face.
Was he thinking of ending their fling now they’d had this concentrated time together? His flings were notoriously short—some only lasted a day or two. What right did she have to hope he would want her for longer? That he might have come to care for her the same way she had come to care for him?
Care? What a mild word to use when what she felt for him was much stronger, much deeper, much more lasting.
Much more terrifying.
Love was a word she had never thought to use when it came to Finn O’Connell. But now it was the only word she could use to describe how she felt about him. It wasn’t a simple, friendship love, although she did consider him more of a friend now than an enemy. It was an all-consuming love that had sprouted and blossomed over the last few days, maybe even before that. The first time they made love had triggered a change in her attitude towards him, and not just because of the explosively passionate sex. The union of their bodies had triggered a union of their minds, their interests, their talents and even their disappointments about some aspects of their childhoods. Zoey had sensed an emotional camaraderie with him she had not felt with anyone else.
Was it silly of her to hope he felt the same way? That he would want to continue their fling...maybe even call it a relationship rather than a fling and one day allow it to become permanent?
How had she fooled herself that she never wanted to settle down? She wasn’t cut out for the single-and-loving-it club. She longed for deep and lasting love, a love that could help overcome the trials and tribulations of life. A love that was a true partnership, a commitment of two equals working together to build a happy and productive life. A family life where children were welcomed, loved, supported and encouraged to grow and be all they could and wanted to be. Zoey had denied those longings until she’d met Finn, but now those deep yearnings were not to be so easily ignored.
Finn reached for her hand across the table, his fingers warm around hers. The candle on the table reflected light back into his dark brown eyes and cast parts of his face in shadow, as though he were a Gothic hero. How could she have thought she wouldn’t fall in love with him? How could she have thought she would be immune to his charismatic presence, his admirable qualities, his earth-shattering lovemaking? He was everything she wanted in a life partner but had never thought to find. It wasn’t enough to have him as a temporary lover. How could she ever have thought a fling with him would quell the need he evoked in her?
Zoey looked down at their joined hands, his touch so familiar and yet still as electrifying. She glanced up to meet his gaze and found him looking at her with unusual intensity.
‘There’s something I want to run by you.’ His voice was low-pitched and husky.
Zoey disguised a swallow, her heart giving a tiny leap in her chest. Could her nascent hopes be realised after all? Did he want to extend their fling, to make it a little more permanent? ‘Yes?’
There was a moment or two of silence. His gaze slowly roved over her face, as if he were memorising her features one by one. His thumb began to stroke the fleshy part of her thumb and a shiver coursed down her spine. His gaze finally steadied on hers. Dark...enigmatically dark. ‘How do you feel about becoming my partner?’
His partner? Zoey blinked, as if a too bright a light had shone in her eyes. Her heart jumped. Her stomach flip-flopped. Her pulse tripped and began to sprint. ‘Y-your partner?’ Her voice stumbled over the word, her thoughts flying every which way like a flock of startled birds.
Surely he didn’t mean...? Was he proposing to her? No, surely not? He would be more direct if he was proposing marriage, wouldn’t he? Should she ask? No, definitely not. Her heart began to thump so loudly she could hear its echo in her ears, feel its punch against her ribcage. ‘I—I don’t quite understand...’
‘My business partner.’ His mouth slanted in a smile. ‘I don’t just want you to come and work for me, I want you to work with me—alongside me. These last few days have shown how we work brilliantly together and how we balance each other so well. I know we’ll make a great creative team.’
A great creative team... He was offering her a stake in his business, not in his personal life. Her heart sank. He was talking business, but she was hoping for happy-ever-after. How could she have thought it would be anything else? Zoey pulled her hand out of his before he felt it trembling against his. Her whole body was beginning to tremble, not with excitement but an inexplicable pang of disappointment. She gave herself a hard mental slap. How could she have thought he was going to propose marriage to her? He wasn’t the marrying type. She had fooled herself into thinking those tender looks he’d been giving her meant something more. How could she have been such an idiot?
He was offering her a dream—a different dream.
A dream career, working with him in one of the most successful agencies in the world.
A business partnership.
Not the dream partnership she most wanted—a lifelong partnership of love and commitment.
‘Wow... I’ll have to think about it for a day or two...’ Zoey gave a fractured laugh and added, ‘For a moment there, I thought you were proposing something else.’
There was a thick beat of silence.
‘I hope you weren’t unduly disappointed?’ His gaze was marksman-steady, but the rest of his expression was inscrutable.
Zoey picked up her wine glass to do something with her hands. She kept her features under strict control. No way would she show him how disappointed she was. She had way too much pride for that. He had always been upfront about his level of commitment. She was the one who had gone off-script and begun wishing for the moon and the stars and the rarest of comets too. She was the one who had deluded herself into thinking they had a future together. Finn had never promised a future, only a fling. ‘Why would I be disappointed?’
‘Why indeed?’
She took a generous sip of wine and kept the glass in her hands, watching one of her fingers smoothing away the condensation marks on the side. ‘You seem to have come to this decision ra
ther quickly.’ She glanced at him again. ‘I mean, there must be other people you’ve considered letting into the business before now?’
‘No one quite like you.’
Zoey looked at the contents of her glass again. ‘I’m hugely flattered. More than a little gobsmacked, actually.’ She gave another cracked laugh. ‘I’ve been working alongside my father for ten years and he never once offered me a directorship. I’ve only been sleeping with you for just over a week and you’re offering me a dream proposition.’
‘This has nothing to do with us sleeping together.’ His tone was adamant, his expression flickering with sudden tension.
Zoey raised her eyebrows and forced herself to hold his gaze. ‘Doesn’t it?’
Finn sat back in his chair and picked up his wine glass. ‘This is strictly a business decision. You’re extremely talented and haven’t yet had that talent properly tapped. You will bring to the company new energy and innovation. I have a good creative team but with you on board it will be brilliant.’ He took a sip of wine and put his glass back down, his eyes holding hers and added, ‘Besides, I don’t want to lose you to someone else.’
He didn’t want to lose her. If only he meant those words the way she wanted him to. Zoey ran the tip of her tongue over her dry lips. ‘It’s certainly a wonderful opportunity. But will my name be on the company letterhead or just yours?’
‘Come on, Zoey, you know about branding better than most,’ he said with a frown. ‘I’ve spent years building my company’s name and reputation. I’m not going to change it now. The deal I’m offering you is generous enough without that.’ He named a sum that sent her eyebrows up again. ‘How does that sound?’
‘It sounds almost impossible to resist.’ Just like he was, which was why she needed more time before she signed on the dotted line. ‘But I’d still like a day or two to think it over.’
‘Fine. But don’t take too long. I want to get things on the move as quickly as possible.’
‘I understand, but a lot has happened in a short time,’ Zoey said. ‘The takeover, us getting involved, now this. It’s a lot for me to process.’
Finn reached for her hand again. ‘Your father was a fool not to allow you more control in his company. If he had given you more creative freedom, then he wouldn’t have felt the need to sell to me.’
‘It would have been nice if I’d been involved in the process.’
‘I’m involving you now.’
Zoey couldn’t hold his gaze and stared at her wine instead. ‘What if he doesn’t stop drinking even though he’s no longer running the company?’
Finn placed his hand over hers. ‘Look at me.’
She lifted her gaze with a sigh. ‘I can’t help worrying about him.’
He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. ‘He’s not your responsibility. If he doesn’t choose to get the help he clearly needs, then it won’t be your fault. You have to step back and let him face the consequences of his choices. There’s no other way.’
Zoey knew he was right, but the knowing and the doing were as far apart as two sides of a giant chasm. ‘He’s the only link I have left to my mother. The only person I can ask about her to keep my fading memories of her alive.’
‘Tell me about her. What was she like?’ His tone was gentle, his gaze equally so.
Zoey gave a wistful smile. ‘She was funny and a bit wild at times.’
‘Now, why doesn’t that surprise me?’ His tone was dry.
She smothered a soft laugh and continued, ‘She loved to cook, and she made Christmas and birthdays so special.’ Her smile faded, her shoulders dropping down on a sigh. ‘I missed her so much. I still miss her. She left a hole in my life that nothing and no one can ever fill. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as loved by anyone else.’
‘Not even by your father?’
Zoey rolled her eyes. ‘No.’
‘What about before your mum died? Did you feel loved by him then?’
Zoey thought about it before answering, casting her mind back to the early years before tragedy had so cruelly struck. ‘It’s funny you should ask that... I’ve never really thought about this before, but he was a lot warmer to me back then. He wasn’t as physically demonstrative as my mum was, but I don’t remember feeling like he didn’t love me. I’m a bit like him in that I’m not comfortable with showing physical affection.’
‘You could have fooled me.’
Zoey could feel her cheeks warming. ‘Yes, well, I did tell you, you have a very strange effect on me.’
‘Likewise.’ His eyes glinted.
She looked down at their joined hands and returned the caress by stroking the strong, corded tendons on the back of his hand. A shiver passed over her at the thought of the pleasure his hands gave her, the pleasure that thrummed in her flesh even now like a plucked cello string.
Why had she thought she could keep her emotions out of a fling with him? Her emotions had been engaged right from the start. ‘Losing my mother changed everything between my father and me. It was like the bottom fell out of our world that day. I know it certainly fell out of mine.’ She glanced up at him and gave a twisted smile. ‘I still see my stepmothers. I haven’t told my father, though. He doesn’t part with his exes on good terms. But they were each good to me in their own way and I missed having them around—especially the last one, Linda. She’s a lot like my mother, actually.’
‘Maybe your father was worried about losing you too,’ Finn said. ‘It can happen after a sudden loss. People become terrified it might happen to someone else they love, so they tone down how they feel to protect themselves.’
Zoey wondered if Finn had done the same after his parents had chosen their drinking and drugs lifestyle over him. ‘You could be right, I suppose, but I’m not riding my hopes on it. I’m twenty-eight years old. I don’t need to hear my father say he loves me every day.’
‘But it would be nice if he showed it in some way.’ Finn’s hand squeezed hers, his gaze holding hers in an intimate tether that made something warm flow down her spine.
‘Yes...’
Finn released her hand and signalled to the waiter for the bill. ‘We’d better have an early night. We have a lot of work to do when we get home to London.’
* * *
Later that night, Finn reached for Zoey in the dark, drawing her close to his side. He breathed in the scent of her hair, his blood stirring as she nestled into him with a sigh. Their lovemaking earlier had been as passionate as always, but something had changed—or maybe he had changed. It hadn’t felt as basic as smoking-hot sex between two consenting adults but a mutual worship of each other’s bodies. He began to wonder if he would find anyone else who so perfectly suited him in bed. Their lovemaking got better and better, the pleasure, the intensity, the depth of feeling—all of it made him realise how shallow and how solely body-based his other encounters had been.
Zoey was not just a convenient body to have sex with—not merely yet another consenting adult to have a good time with then say goodbye to and never think of again. He wondered if there would be a time when he wouldn’t think of her. She filled his thoughts to the exclusion of everything else.
Finn had never been much of a fan of sleepovers in the past. The morning-after routine got a little tiresome, the attraction of the night before fading to the point where he often couldn’t wait to get away. But with Zoey it was completely different. He enjoyed waking up beside her each day, enjoyed the feel of her body against him, enjoyed seeing her sleepy smile and feeling her arms go round him.
But he was surprised she hadn’t jumped at his offer of a business relationship last night over dinner. Surprised and disappointed she hadn’t been as enthusiastic as he’d hoped. It was a big step for him to take and one he had never taken before. He had run his company singlehandedly from the get-go and had resisted bringing anyone else on board. But he knew
Zoey’s gifts and talents would be an asset to him and he couldn’t allow her to take them elsewhere. He was impatient for her answer so he could get things in motion. There were legal things to see to, paperwork to draw up, contracts to sign—all of it would take time. He had pushed their flight back a couple of hours, determined to get her answer before they went home to London.
Zoey snuggled against him and opened one sleepy eye. ‘Is it time to get up yet?’
‘Not yet. I delayed our flights a couple of hours.’
She rolled onto her tummy, her slim legs entwined with his. She traced a slow circle around his mouth, making his lips tingle. ‘Oh? Why? So we can loll about in bed all morning?’
Finn captured her hand and held it against his chest. ‘I want your answer. Today. Before we fly back to London.’ He didn’t want to waste any more time. He had to know one way or the other.
Her hand fell away from his face and her expression clouded. ‘I told you I need to think about it. There’s a lot to consider.’ She moved away from him and, throwing back the doona, got off the bed, wrapping herself in her satin bathrobe and tying the waist ties.
‘Like what?’ Finn frowned, rising from the bed as well. He picked up his trousers and stepped into them. ‘I’m offering you an amazing opportunity. What’s taking you so long to decide?’
Zoey turned away. ‘I don’t want to talk about it now. Stop pressuring me.’
Finn came up behind her and took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘But I want to talk about it now.’
Her chin came up and a stubborn light shone in her eyes. ‘Okay, we’ll talk, but you might not want to hear what I have to say.’
‘Try me.’ He removed his hands from her shoulders, locking his gaze on hers.
She drew in a deep breath and let it out in a steady stream. ‘What you’re offering me is an extremely generous offer. Hugely generous. But it’s not enough. I want more. Much more.’