"How are you going to explain my presence?" Rohan asked, amused.
"You came from the north and are incognito." Nihar winked. "A young nobleman from Lakresha who cannot divulge his most famous name! Hey, maybe you're Prince Hemal's illegitimate son!"
"Yeah, right!" Rohan couldn't help but laugh. "Why not Prince Mohan's then?"
"Nah, he lives here, everybody would know. But Prince Hemal spent fifteen years away from Agharek, so who knows if he had children or not while he was out there?"
"I'm sorry, I can't fake the Lakresha accent. The Akulina one comes much more natural to me."
"Then keep your mouth shut! Women love a silent beauty."
"Do they?"
"Watch me." Nihar put on a brooding face and looked around the room. Many girls noticed and giggled, and Rohan did his best not to burst out laughing.
Then he noticed a girl who wasn't impressed by Nihar's brood but seemed to be staring at him instead. And Rohan lost himself in those hazel eyes, forgetting his friend.
"Found someone interesting?" Nihar's voice brought him back to reality.
"Uh... no." He quickly averted his eyes, blushing.
"I can introduce you to anyone if you find a likeable face among those haughty youths," Nihar insisted.
"Some girls are very pretty," he said, embarrassed, not daring to look at her again.
"Well, which one would you like to meet? As a mysterious noble from Akulina?"
"No, nobody." Rohan dared to look again and his heart sank. "She already has company."
This time Nihar followed his gaze. "That's Bismillah, Lord Charan's daughter, and yes, I'm afraid she's betrothed to that bully Jaiden, Prince Mohan's son."
"My usual luck." Rohan sighed, unable to take his eyes off of the girl. Betrothed to the prince's son. Sigh.
"You have good tastes," Nihar grinned. "Come on, let's go dancing. It's allowed to dance with someone else's betrothed."
"Maybe later. I'm not ready to impersonate a nobleman yet."
"As you wish. Have fun!"
Rohan nodded and waited for Nihar to leave with some other friend. Then he went back to his contemplation, his heart beating faster and faster.
It's crazy, Rohan, you can't fall in love with her! You've lost already against Prince Mohan's son! She's a noble maiden and you...
He lowered his eyes. His princely clothes didn't make him a prince. Still, he felt he deserved her.
He looked up again and met her hazel stare. She wasn't smiling anymore and their eyes locked for what felt like a lifetime and a moment at the same time.
Then her betrothed caught her attention again and she turned to her friends. But she often looked back at him during the conversation, which left him breathlessly happy.
***
Nihar found Rohan in the garden just outside the great hall. "Rohan, are you all right?" he asked, worried.
"I'm in love, Nihar," was the dreamy reply. Rohan's face was in the shadows, so Nihar had to trust his ears.
"In love? With Bismillah? You don't even know her!"
"I feel it inside, Nihar." Rohan turned to look at him and light from the palace showed his face was as wistful as his voice. "I danced with her and we connected. We didn't say a word, but our eyes... our eyes locked and I could feel a bond with her. I had never felt anything like this before. Maybe you're right, I'm an idiot. But I'm a happy idiot."
"I never said you were an idiot, I only think it's too early to decide you're in love," Nihar grumbled.
"It's not too soon." Rohan sighed. "But it is absurd, because I will never have her."
"Right." Nihar pursed his lips, not sure what to say next. His friend had found love at first sight when he wasn't even sure love existed.
"I want to see her again," Rohan pleaded.
"Are you crazy? Jaiden will kill you if he finds out!"
"I need to talk to her. Don't worry, I'll be careful."
Nihar sighed, frustrated.
***
It's her! Rohan's heart missed a beat when he saw Bismillah with two friends strolling through the marketplace. Then he remembered his commoner's clothes compared to the silken saris and bejeweled arms of her beloved, and anguish replaced his sudden joy. His feet refused to move as he stared desperately at Bismillah who was chatting with her friends.
Then they stopped at a jeweler's and she moved on alone with a wave – walking towards him. He couldn't move, spellbound by the queen of his heart.
She raised her eyes and saw him. She stopped, surprised, and her smile froze. Rohan noticed every single movement and averted his eyes, feeling his heart breaking into very small pieces.
Next thing he knew she was standing in front of him and looked him in the eyes like she had done when they had danced at Nihar's birthday party.
"Hello," she said.
"Hello." His answer sounded so puzzled even to himself that it drew a smile on her face. She was being bold, addressing a commoner like that.
"I saw you at Nihar's birthday, right?" she said, undaunted.
"Uh, yes, we danced together once or twice," he answered, not sure she had noticed his different clothes. She was behaving as if she considered him a noble.
"Three times." She grinned. "I counted them."
"You did?" He couldn't believe his ears. Of course he had counted them too, three blissful dances with the most beautiful girl. Could it be he was right and there was really something between them?
"Yes." She blushed and lowered her eyes. "Are you looking for something specific?" she continued waving her hand towards the market around them as if nothing had been said.
"Yes... you," he admitted.
She giggled. "And were you really going to talk to me?" she asked with a mischievous smile.
"Uh... probably not," he said averting his eyes. "You're noble and I'm a commoner."
She seemed to notice his day-clothes at last. "Indeed," she said, and her smile didn't fade away. "But you're nice. Are you a friend of Nihar?"
"Yes. He's my only friend and I think I'm the only one he has as well."
"Why is that? He can be naughty when he wants to, but you don't look that bad."
"I'm a courtesan's son."
Silence. Her smile faded slightly, but she still looked dreamy while she stared at him. "It doesn't mean a damn thing," she said at last. "Would you walk me home?"
He gaped at her, incredulous. Had she just asked...? Did she really not care that...?
She waved her hand in front of his eyes. "Hello?"
"Uh, sure, let's go."
I'd follow you anywhere. Even to the underworld if you asked me to. He knew he was madly in love – and would never tell her.
The walk was quick and silent, as if they didn't really need words. She stopped in front of her father's palace door.
"Thank you." She bowed her head, breaking the silence again.
"No, thank you for asking me to walk you home," he said, not daring to touch her but wishing he could take her in his arms.
She smiled. "You know where I live now. Come and see me sometime."
He closed his eyes, blissfully happy. "Yes, my lady."
She giggled. "Bismillah. And you are?"
"Rohan." His heart was bursting with joy. The new life in his hometown suddenly looked shiningly good.
***
"Madam Jaya is starting to hate me," Nihar chuckled, slumping on the carpet and cushions of Rohan's room. "I come here not for her girls, but to talk to a young man! I'm sure she's wondering about my sexuality and considering selling you in her house!"
"I sure hope not!" Rohan was disgusted and worried. "I'm so lucky I'm a boy and don't have to follow in my mother's footsteps!"
"Since those men from the Queendom of Maadre reached the southern kingdoms, things are changing in our brothels as well," Nihar grinned. "It's not unusual finding men available anymore."
"Oh, Gods!" Rohan frowned with worry and Nihar chuckled.
"Don't worry about that. She asked about you."
"Who?" Somehow Rohan knew they weren't talking about Madam Jaya anymore.
"Bismillah. She told me you promised her something. What was it, Rohan?"
"Nothing." He shrugged. "It wasn't a promise. She asked me to go and see her."
"And why didn't you?"
"I believe I'm daydreaming too much already."
"I think she genuinely likes you. You should go, Rohan. I think you can win her."
"She's betrothed to Prince Mohan's son."
"So what? You're much better, both physically and mentally."
"You're teasing," Rohan grumbled, frowning.
"No I'm not. Hey brother, have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror? Why do you think Madam Jaya would consider selling you? Why do you think Bismillah danced with you and invited you to visit her?"
Deepika came in, interrupting Nihar's hot tirade. "Hello boys," she greeted.
Nihar barely looked at her, still too engrossed in his attempt to convince Rohan who had retreated in a corner to pout. "You know you're better than Jaiden, you're smarter and more talented!"
"Yes, but..." Rohan wasn't convinced.
"Listen to him, Deepika!" Nihar turned to her only because she had sat next to her son and had pulled him to her. "He thinks he's ugly! Girls turn around to look at him in the streets, and he thinks he can't compete against a spoiled rich boy!"
"He's right, Rohan, you're gorgeous," she told Rohan, staring fondly at him.
He pulled away from her, jarred. "Your opinion doesn't count, you're my mother. You've been telling me I'm gorgeous since I was born, even when I had no hair and no teeth."
"A newborn with teeth and long hair would be a monster, not you," she replied, amused. "Besides, you're my son, beauty is in our blood."
"Oh, Mother!" Rohan smiled against his will and hugged her.
Nihar smiled and averted his eyes from the happy duo. He envied their relationship. Then he noticed the sun was already going down and he'd be late for dinner.
He quickly said good-bye and rushed back home.
"Where have you been?" his father demanded.
"I was visiting a friend."
"And don't they eat in that house? Is this the time to show up?"
"Gods, Father, I'm not a child anymore! Leave me alone, will you?"
"You do what I tell you until I die! I own this palace and you, therefore you will abide by the rules!"
Nihar clenched his fists and ground his teeth to avoid an explosion that would only make things worse.
"Nihar, honey, where have you been?" His mother sounded exactly like his father. "You know we must go to Prince Mohan's tonight, I had asked you to come back early!"
"It's not that late and I'm not invited, why do you always complain?"
"Because you're an unworthy son!" His father yelled again.
"Damn it, Father..." The slap on his mouth blocked the explosion. Nihar closed his eyes, trying not to scream.
"We have spoiled you," his father said. "But you're our only surviving son and we love you."
"No you don't!" Nihar shouted as tears came to his eyes. "I'm just another possession to flaunt to your friends! I'm not a toy, nor an animal, I'm a human being!"
"Nihar, lower your voice!" His father's tone was threatening but there was no stopping him anymore.
"Why don't you die, both of you!" Nihar stormed out of the palace, ignoring his mother's call.
He wandered through the streets till dawn and stopped on the river's shore not far from Madam Jaya's. Everything was quiet in the first light of dawn.
Nihar felt like crying again, but gulped down his tears. He had no way out, not while his father lived. And he didn't hate him enough to want him dead.
"Nihar." A hand touched his shoulder and a whiff of perfume hit him. He had been barely aware of a palanquin depositing someone in front of Madam Jaya's and the courtesan had obviously not gone in.
Startled, he turned to look at the woman and recognized Deepika in her working clothes.
"What are you doing out here at this time of the night?" she asked. "And why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying!" He furiously wiped away the tears that had spilled out against his will.
"Did you want to talk to Rohan?" She smiled and he averted his eyes.
"I don't know. Maybe I only needed to be alone," he grumbled, staring at the dark river.
"I see, you fought with your parents again." Deepika sighed and sat more comfortably near him.
He stared at her, puzzled. How could she understand him better than his own parents? How could she be so beautiful and sweet and make his blood run wild not because she was a courtesan but Rohan's mother? How could he feel so smitten by an older woman?
"You've been out all night?" she asked, looking him in the eyes.
"Yes," he admitted looking away from her, his heart beating faster at her proximity. "My parents have discovered now, after nineteen years, that they spoiled me. And they want me to follow their rules and traditions and whatnot. But it's too late now, I don't belong to them anymore."
"And who do you belong to?" she asked with a smile.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "To myself, I guess. And to the people I love."
"Rohan?"
"Yes."
"Who else?"
"You. Yes, I belong to you, Deepika. Even if you don't want me, I belong to you because I want you." He took her hands in his, tried to meet her eyes again. But she had lowered them and her smile looked rueful.
"I'm a whore," she said.
"A courtesan. And the most wonderful woman in the world. I don't care what you do for a living, or what you've done in the past. You're sweet and awesome and that's all I know."
"You're crazy, Nihar, I could be your mother."
"But you're not."
"Everybody despises me."
"I don't. And I'm not a customer either."
"I know." She freed her hands and looked away with a sigh. "Don't ruin everything, Nihar. We have a great friendship."
"It's not friendship anymore, Deepika. Not for me, not after tonight. Maybe I was already in love, but I discovered it tonight and there's no going back."
She shook her head, gulping down her feelings.
"Look at me," he ordered gently.
She shook her head again. He touched her chin and gently forced her to look at him. "I love you," he whispered before kissing her.
He felt her surrender in his arms while his mouth tried to devour her. Breathless, he let her go only to hold her tight.
She curled up against him. "It's all wrong, you know?"
"Yes." He smiled, elated. "I don't care as long as you want me."
***
"So we want to be a couple," Nihar concluded. "But we won't, if you're against it."
"Why wait for my approval?" Rohan smiled. "It's you two who are in love."
"Yes, but you might not like it..."
"You said so yourself. My mother is wonderful. Her love for me won't diminish if you're in our lives. And you can make her very happy. Nobody ever really loved her. You might think you'll learn a lot from her, but she can learn as much from you. I think it will benefit both of you, if you truly love each other, and I think I know enough to say that you do. You will be the most beautiful couple in the world." Rohan closed his mouth. He looked quietly happy.
Nihar took a moment to recover from his surprise at his friend's words. "Thank you, Rohan. You're truly her son. You're as wonderful as she is."
"Come on!" Rohan snorted.
"Really. But tell me, now, how is it going with Bismillah?"
"We're friends. She tells me when she's free and I visit her."
"Is that all? Wake up, brother! Kiss her and see what happens!"
"Weren't you the one who warned me against Jaiden?" Rohan smiled. "Besides, I'm not in a hurry."
"Right. Neither are we."
"I could see that. It took you five days to tell me the news."
"We weren't confident enough, I gu
ess."
"I think you knew exactly what you wanted."
"I did, but your mother didn't. Took me some cajoling before convincing her. Now I don't think you will have to struggle that much with Bismillah!"
"Oh, Nihar, give me a break!"
***
It was the first time they were out on their own. Rohan had no idea why Bismillah had accepted, but he felt very happy about their little stroll. His hand spontaneously grabbed hers and she didn't retrieve it.
"Bismillah, why did you accept to go out in public with someone like me?" he asked at last, tired of looking for an answer in his mind.
"Why, what's wrong with you?" she replied. "You don't have a tattoo on your face stating who you are, you know? How do people see you? A nice boy, not rich but well educated. And there are few of those left. And the girls? They think I'm lucky because you're so good-looking. Why do you bother about what they think anyway? You say you love your mother and don't care about what she does for a living, but you're ashamed of it."
"Maybe," he admitted. "Thing is, as soon as people discover who I am, they tear me to pieces. As if it were my fault or something."
"Is that the reason why you throw who you are in everyone's face?" She frowned and her fingers stiffened in his hand.
"I'm trying to protect myself." He squeezed her fingers. "It happens way too often – so many timesI grew fond of someone who turned his or her back on me as soon as he or she learned the truth."
She thought about it and sighed. "I guess you're right. Your life must have been hard."
"When I was a child I cried a lot when my mother wasn't looking. Then she found out and we moved away from here. Not that it was much better in Akulina. I'm so glad we're back – I think I have found the right balance now."
"That's good. I'm very happy for you."
Silence fell again. He offered to buy her a snack or a drink, but she refused and they kept walking.
"Do you like Jaiden?" he asked after another silence.
She didn't hesitate. "No."
He was stunned for a moment. "Aren't you betrothed to him?"
"Yes. Family decisions. I didn't mind when they betrothed us, but now..." She shook her head. "He has become an arrogant young man, nobody likes him anymore. Except my father of course." She scoffed. "Lord Charan can't believe he'll have Jaiden as son-in-law. Maybe only because he's Prince Mohan's heir, who knows."
Tales of the Southern Kingdoms (One Volume Edition) Page 22