"Calm down," Nihar smiled. "You won't change anything by insulting her except bringing back Rohan's smile."
"I'm going to talk to that so-called lady!" Deepika insisted. "Asking for my son's body! How dare she!"
"Enough, Mother." Rohan's tears had turned to laughter at his mother's first anger explosion.
"Oh, Rohan, she hurt you," she said, worried.
"No, Mother, she didn't really touch me. She tried to seduce me, but failed. Calm down, I'm fine. I was only a little sad..."
"A little, huh? You were crying like a fountain!"
"It's all gone, Mother."
"He's fine, don't you see?" Nihar added. "If you keep going, you'll make him cry again, from laughter."
"Am I so funny when I get angry?" she asked calming down. "Never mind, give me a hug, my baby boy."
She opened her arms and Rohan promptly hugged her, not bothering to remind her he wasn't a baby anymore. She squeezed him then let him go.
She stared at him, thoughtful. "You know, maybe you should have accepted after all. Imagine Lord Charan's face when he found out!"
"Yeah, and imagine the beating!" Rohan laughed. "He'd chase me to the northern kingdoms to kill me if he discovered I had his wife as well!"
Deepika smiled fondly at him. "Let's go for a walk, baby boys." She grabbed Rohan on one side, Nihar on the other, steering both towards the door.
"Thanks for the 'baby', Mom," Nihar teased.
***
Hello, beloved.
I decided to write to you to tell you I still love you and cannot forget you. I miss you a lot. Now more than ever I wish I could be with you. I'm scared, Rohan. I don't know what to do. I'm pregnant. I'm terrified at the thought of what my father will do when he finds out. I'll probably deliver before the wedding, but Jaiden won't be happy to learn I'm not a virgin anymore. At the moment you and I are the only ones in the know. But soon I won't be able to hide it anymore. What should I do? Help me, Rohan. Always yours. Bismillah.
I wish I could help you, beloved. But what can I do? Talking to your father would be useless. But if he says to repair the damage I must marry you, I'll do it immediately. Except I doubt he'd say that. He'll force you to an abortion, deleting from the world the last trace of our love. You might think I'm cruel. But I have no strength left to fight. I could take you away, but where? Your father would hunt us to the end of the world. I don't know what to do, Bismillah. I'm sorry. Rohan.
P.S. You know, I thought I had finally managed to forget you. But your short letter was enough to reopen the wound and tell me I haven't forgotten anything. That night with you is still alive inside me. I wish I could help you, but I don't know how. I can't imagine your father's reaction. I think we should see what he says before acting. But I also know his reaction will be violent, towards you, me or the child. And I'm scared of what will happen if we set him off. I don't want him to hurt you. I don't care if he kills me, but how can I be sure he won't hurt you? Maybe I have an idea. A suicidal idea, but it might save you and the baby. Tell him I raped you. He'll come against me, but will not blame you. I'll try to talk some sense into him, telling him that if he kills me you'll be a dishonored single mother. You'll see, we'll work it out. Love always. R.
Dear Rohan,
the first lines of what should have been a short note had disappointed me when I read the rest. You're crazy to ask me to tell my father those things. He'll kill you before you can say "Ah". You can't sacrifice your life like this, it's so useless.... Don't you want to meet this child? Don't you want him or her to know you and love you? Don't be a fool. We'll find another way. We still have a month, maybe two, to think about it. I love you too. Bismillah.
***
"Tell her to do it," Rohan said, determined, looking up from Bismillah's letter.
"You're crazy, she can't!" Nihar protested.
"It's my business," Rohan folded the letter, looking tired. "Tell her she must do it."
"Gods, there's no need to say you're the father! She can say she's been raped by Jaiden, at least you'll come out clean!"
"You know her father would never believe that."
"Why not?!"
"Don't dream, Nihar. We had enough of that already. When Lord Charan finds out his daughter is pregnant, he'll blame me, rape or not. If we pass it as rape, he'll come only after me and leave her alone."
"He'll kill you." Nihar shook his head, desperate.
"No, maybe he won't." Rohan sounded defeated. Maybe he was really sick of fighting.
***
When Rohan found Lord Charan in front of him he knew it was the time of the truth. He glanced at the nobleman's waist, but no weapons hung from his sash. Again it would be fists only if a punishment was due.
Rohan and Lord Charan stared at each other in the quiet of a sunny afternoon, when everyone was dozing off at Madam Jaya's.
"I exited your daughter's life." Rohan broke the silence. "What else do you want from me?"
"Bastard," Lord Charan hissed. "Don't pretend. Bismillah is pregnant."
"Do you have proof it's mine?"
"When I found out I forced her to tell me the truth. She confessed you raped her."
Rohan almost sighed with relief. She had done what he had asked her. "Are you here to kill me, Lord Charan? Don't you think about your fatherless grand-child?"
"That child will not be born," Lord Charan said through gritted teeth.
"It's too late for an abortion."
"So you knew, you bastard."
"Yes, Bismillah covered me with insults at her predicament."
"I wonder why she didn't do it as soon as she knew."
"She was scared."
"By what?"
"You, Lord Charan. What will you do now? Force me to marry her? Kill me? Would that really solve anything?"
"Maybe not, son of a bitch, but at least you'll pay! You had no right touching her!"
Rohan didn't reply. He felt strangely lucid. He was ready for his sacrifice.
"Won't you say anything in your defense, little bastard?" Lord Charan roared.
"I love her, Lord Charan," he replied quietly.
"Is this why you raped her?"
"She came to me and I made love to her." Rohan had enough of lies, aware of the fact that the furious man in front of him would never believe him anyway.
"Liar!" Lord Charan attacked him again. "Defend yourself, you son of a bitch!"
"No," Rohan answered, barely parrying the first blow. "If you must beat me to give vent to your anger, do it, but don't touch your daughter!"
His word must have gotten through when he was already down, panting.
Lord Charan pulled away, staring at him with a mix of horror and fear.
He smiled at him, in spite of the pain especially in his ribcage that made it hard to breathe.
He was about to say "Keep going, as long as you don't hurt her," when Lord Charan stormed away without a word. Rohan collapsed completely, praying it would soon be over.
***
"Tell me the truth, Bismillah." Lord Charan was quiet and serious, and stared at his daughter as if he wanted to read her mind. "Who is the father of your child?"
"Rohan, Father," she said, lowering her eyes.
"Did he rape you?"
"No, I went to him willingly."
"Why did you tell me...."
"He told me to, Father. He wanted to protect me from your fury. Did you kill him?"
"No." He sighed. "No, he's not dead. You went to him..."
"Yes, Father."
"Without thinking about the pain you gave me?"
"I thought you'd understand. I love him and there's nothing I can do about it. I love him more than anyone else."
"Forget him." Lord Charan looked exhausted. He hung his head and left his daughter wondering.
***
"Where's the wretched owner of this stinking palace?" Deepika stormed inside Lord Charan's home avoiding servants and butlers trying to stop her. She found the family in an i
nner living room, and Lord Charan stared at her in wonder.
"Are you the damned wretched owner of this shitty palace?" Deepika put her fists on her hips, planting herself in front of him and glaring at him while the butler tried to drag her away.
"Leave her." Lord Charan waved his hand and the servants left with deep bows. "Let's hear what this woman wants." He didn't bother to lift his behind from his cushions, so Deepika towered over him.
"You want to know what I want? Listen, asshole, it's the third time you beat Rohan almost to death, enough is enough!"
"Oh, I see, you must be the mother of that..."
"Son of a bitch, yes sir. All right, his mother, and I mean me, is a courtesan, but his father is as wealthy as you are, Lord Charan!"
"Rohan told me he didn't know who his father was."
"He doesn't know because I never told him." She folded her arms in front of her chest, sarcastic. "I pretended I had forgotten."
"Deepika!" Bismillah's voice made her turn to look at the pale girl. She looked haunted as much as Rohan.
"Hello, darling." Deepika's voice was sweeter now. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. How is Rohan?"
"Rohan isn't fine at all." Anger filled Deepika's voice again as she glared at Lord Charan.
"Poor boy, what did you do to him, Charan?" Lady Ekla asked, sounding worried.
"Shut up, you slimy cow," Deepika snapped. "You try to seduce my son and you call me a whore!"
"Mother!"
"Ekla!"
Lady Ekla was struck dumb by the double stare of her daughter and her husband. Both looked outraged.
Deepika scoffed. "Yes sir. A mean blackmail. And you, my lord, weren't much nicer to my Rohan. You know what happened this time? Rohan is in bed all bruised and feverish and tells me 'Mother, tell Lord Charan to beat me again so he won't hurt Bismillah'! Which means he's ready to die, considering how you treat him!"
Lord Charan listened, speechless, too stunned to object.
"Enough, Deepika," Bismillah said, quietly sad. "Stop it, please."
"I'm sorry, honey." Deepika calmed down. "I just can't stand this wretched..."
"Enough, Deepika," Bismillah repeated before fainting.
Lady Ekla called the maids and they took away the unconscious girl. Deepika and Lord Charan remained alone.
He rose and became taller than her by a full head. "Rohan doesn't look like you," he said. "Please, sit with me."
She was about to attack again with words, but slumped on the cushions, pouting, instead.
He sat back next to her. "Why didn't Rohan's father marry you?"
"Rohan's father doesn't even know he exists." She snorted. "He was gone. I was sick of waiting for him."
"I'm sorry to hear this."
"Maybe I should have told Hemal. He was hurt and didn't really want me, but maybe I could have waited longer or asked Mohan or..."
Lord Charan narrowed his eyes. "Who is Hemal?"
"Rohan's father. I met him through Mohan."
"Prince Mohan and Prince Hemal?" he asked incredulous.
"Yes." She scoffed. "Prince Mohan loved Madam Jaya's before killing his father for Hemal's sake. So you see, Rohan's father is as wealthy as you even if he has no real royal blood in his veins. But Akkora is not a kingdom anymore and Mohan shared with him his father's inheritance. Rohan is better than Jaiden and Bismillah loves him. Don't you think you could allow them to marry and live happily ever after?"
"I will tell you something." Lord Charan smiled. "After all that happened, after this proof of love, I'd give Bismillah even to Rohan the courtesan's son. But I think it's time he meets his father, don't you think? After eighteen years it's his right. Hemal is a widower and has no male heirs."
"Maybe you're right." Deepika relaxed. "But I want you to give Rohan the good news."
Lord Charan sighed but nodded. He went with her to Madam Jaya's, up the stairs and into the bedroom where Rohan lay.
The powerful lord sat on the bed and stared thoughtfully at the sleeping boy, observed by Deepika.
Lord Charan took Rohan's hand and the boy slowly opened his eyes. Maybe he wasn't sleeping after all.
Rohan blinked. "Hello." He sounded weak and surprised, but not scared.
"I didn't come to finish you off," Lord Charan said, squeezing his fingers. "How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Not really. I'll send my personal physician to help you recover. You need to be fit to marry Bismillah before the scandal breaks out."
Rohan's eyes widened. "You mean... you will let us be together?"
Lord Charan smiled. "Yes. And I apologize for the way I treated you. You're a good boy and have a wonderful mother."
Rohan glanced at Deepika and tried to smile too. "So you noticed, huh?"
"You should have seen her." Lord Charan chuckled. "She stormed in my house like a demon..."
Rohan grinned. "Mother is always funny when she gets angry." Again he looked at her with such fondness she felt her heart melt. "I have no idea how she taught me discipline."
"As soon as you feel better, come and visit Bismillah," Lord Charan said. "She's waiting for you."
"Enough talking, Charan, let him rest." Deepika decided the lord's time was over. Lord Charan obeyed meekly as if he were feeling guilty for what he had done.
At the brothel's door he turned to look her in the eyes. "Go to Hemal. You must talk to him. Rohan needs a father."
"He'll have you, if he marries Bismillah," she shrugged.
"Yes, but... I'm sure he's longing to meet his real father. Or are you afraid to confront your lover?"
"Listen, Lord Charan..."
He laughed and left, waving his hand.
"I'm not afraid of anyone!" she shouted after him.
***
"My lord, a woman requests to speak with you."
"Did she mention her name?"
"Deepika."
Hemal looked up from the manuscript he was reading and stared at the servant. "Let her in."
The servant bowed and soon Deepika was in the small cabinet. She hadn't changed much in almost twenty years and Hemal wondered why he still remembered her so well. After all they hadn't spent much time together and he was badly hurt at the time.
"Hello, Hemal." She looked wary and he signaled her to sit on the divan.
"You haven't changed, Deepika," he said.
"You look almost the same too." She looked embarrassed.
He smiled ruefully. "I have changed, Deepika. Too many women, too much alcohol, my wife's suicide..."
She was puzzled. "Suicide?"
"Yes, I cheated on her and she couldn't give me a male heir. And you know what's the worst part? When she died I realized I loved her and hurt her like Kunal had hurt Mitali. I had become worse than my parent's murderer. Anyway, why are you here?"
"I came back from Akulina almost a year ago. Charan suggested I come to you."
Hemal smiled. "It's good to see you. So many years... how many?"
"Nineteen."
"You have an excellent memory. Although I must admit that my mind was quite blurred at the time."
"Do you remember having sex with me after King Kunal's death?"
"Yes... Yes. You opened a lid, and a nasty man came out. You were the first woman, of many, but still the first. Maybe that's why I still remember your face in spite of everything."
She smiled. "I was in love with you."
"My heart was dead at the time." He sighed. "And remained so for a long time. I lost count of the years gone by."
"I can't. I have Rohan's age to remind me every day."
"Who's Rohan?" He stared at her, puzzled.
"My son, Hemal. Your son."
He gaped at her. A son? From the woman who had given him sex? And love he wasn't able to accept? "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
"What for?" She sounded rueful. "You were badly damaged. You wanted love, not sex. I was a courtesan. And then you left. I was sick of waiting for your return."
"So you moved to Akulina? And how did you bring him up?"
"You met me as a courtesan. But when I left Madam Jaya's, I became a street whore. Still, Rohan is my only child, the child of my love."
Silence. Hemal and Deepika stared at each other as if they wanted to hear thoughts or communicate memories and feelings through their minds.
Then he smiled, rose and pulled her up too. He embraced her and saw her blush like a maiden.
"I am so grateful you came to me, Deepika," he whispered. "If it's not too late, I'd love to love you now."
"It's not too late." Her voice was shaky.
He smiled again and kissed her.
***
Rohan was healed. He had visited Bismillah and was getting ready for their wedding. Still the adventure had left him more taciturn, even if he was still sweet and nice to everybody.
Bismillah had changed too now that she was pregnant. She was quieter and more affectionate. Both had forgotten what had been done to them and had locked themselves in a sort of loving limbo, in spite of living under different roofs.
Lord Charan could feel Bismillah's mind was far away. And Deepika hardly recognized Rohan in the quiet, silent young man he had become. Hence she hesitated to speak with him about his father. Until Hemal and Charan urged her to talk to Rohan, thus in a sunny morning, as she strolled with her son, she decided it was the right time.
"I need to tell you something, Rohan."
"I know, you've been trying for two weeks."
"It's just that... you look so far away! You changed, Rohan."
"It's called growing up, Mother," he shrugged. "Anyway I've been wondering for two weeks about the important announcement you have."
"It's hard enough already, Rohan, don't treat me like a child," she chided. "It's something I should have told you years ago when you asked me who your father is."
He didn't comment.
They sat on a bench in the public park and he waited, looking straight ahead. Deepika was a little upset by his lack of reaction.
"You have always known who my father is." Rohan broke the silence but didn't turn his head to look at her. "Maybe it's Lord Charan."
"No, I'd have told you if you had fallen in love with your half-sister. No, it's not Lord Charan. It's Prince Hemal."
Tales of the Southern Kingdoms (One Volume Edition) Page 25