by Sherry Kyle
“Want more tea?” Shelly stood, grabbed her cup, and moved to the kitchen.
Bryan followed after her. “Shelly, please.”
“Bryan, I don’t want to talk about it.” She steeled herself against the edge of the kitchen counter, staring straight ahead through the kitchen window.
Maybe they shouldn’t be having such an intimate conversation, but Peter was the one who went into the other room, leaving them alone. “Don’t avoid me. I have a right to know.” He kept a safe distance. “I haven’t been fair to Ashley, and Peter’s one of my best friends. Please, for all of our sakes, we’ve got to get past this.”
Shelly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing a delicate diamond earring. Her brows furrowed, and she pressed her lips together as if contemplating an idea.
“It’s time,” Bryan urged.
She let out a breath. “Wait for me in the family room, and give me a few minutes while I talk with Peter.”
Bryan nodded. “All right.”
During the time he waited for Shelly, he looked at the photos that lined the mantel. A few captured the genuine smile he remembered so well, showing the dimple in her right cheek. A couple of the photos showed Shelly smiling, but yet her eyes told a different story. Were they taken after they broke up? Must have been. Peter was in one of the pictures, his arm draped across her shoulder.
On further inspection, she looked heavier than he’d remembered. Was she depressed? Eating more than usual? He set the photo down suddenly aware that Shelly could walk into the room at any moment.
Bryan sat on the brown sofa and waited, scrunching a throw pillow under his arm and crossing his ankle over his knee. He toyed with his keys. The more time that ticked by, the more anxious he became. Maybe he shouldn’t have come.
What could Shelly possibly need to tell him? Did she think he couldn’t handle it? Was she afraid she was going to hurt his feelings?
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Shelly’s voice hitched. She took a photo album off the bookcase.
He didn’t know if he was ready. Whatever it was made her upset. Should he back down? “Shelly, if you’d rather we do this another time—”
“No, I need to finally tell you the truth. Peter agreed. In fact, he looked relieved.”
“Okay, go on,” Bryan prodded, wanting to get this conversation over with.
Shelly joined him on the couch. “Our senior year in college was amazing. We had so many fun times and shared so many memories. Until that point I had never met anyone who accepted me so unconditionally, but there was a big problem. I hadn’t been living out my faith, and we were doing things we shouldn’t be doing.”
“Now that I’m a Christian, I get that. But why walk away from me?”
“I couldn’t commit myself to someone who didn’t believe the way I did. The day you asked me to marry you I flipped out. I knew if I saw you again I wouldn’t be strong enough to let you go. Thought it would be easier if I never contacted you again.”
Bryan wanted to argue but thought it best to listen.
Shelly looked away from him and opened the photo album. “It wasn’t easy, especially when I found out I was pregnant. This is the ultrasound image of our baby.” She pointed to the bean-shaped spot on the picture.
Could it be? Had he fathered a child?
“That summer I moved in with some friends and slept on their couch. I had so many conflicting emotions, and I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell you? Should I not?” She showed him photos of her growing abdomen, and tears slid down her cheeks. “I’ve never even told my parents.”
Bryan’s hands grew clammy. “What happened?”
“One day my car broke down on the side of the road, and I had it towed to a shop to get it repaired. That’s where I met Peter.” Her facial features softened, and her eyes glistened. “He listened to me and encouraged me. He also prayed with me. Peter believed in God the same way I did. It confirmed to me that the relationship we had, although great in many ways, lacked the foundation for a lasting marriage. I couldn’t do that to our baby.”
Bryan rubbed his sweaty palms down the sides of his jeans. He turned the next page of the photo album, not knowing what to expect.
“Peter and I became closer. The friendship turned into something more. We both knew it. Then late one night, I called him to take me to the hospital. Something was wrong.” Shelly’s voice wobbled. “Bryan, at twenty weeks, I miscarried.”
His vision blurred, and he blinked away the moisture. “I should’ve been there for you—”
“You would have, but I didn’t give you a chance.”
Bryan stiffened. “No, you didn’t.”
“I was scared. Scared of loving someone who didn’t believe the way I did. Scared of starting a marriage that most likely would’ve failed.”
The long-held secret was out. Bryan stared at his shoes, taking it all in.
An awkward silence passed between them.
Shelly closed the photo album. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.” She leaned in. “Bryan, will you please forgive me?”
He hesitated. By the fearful look in her eye, he could tell she was afraid he would decline. His gut reaction was to walk away and tell her he’d think about it. The news she shared was a lot to take in, overwhelming really. But he believed God had forgiven Shelly, and he’d put her out of her misery for his own sake so they could move on with their lives. “As hard as it was to hear, I appreciate you telling me the truth. But I need some time—”
The tightness in his shoulders remained. He made his way to the door, needing fresh air. He stepped onto the front porch.
Shelly rested against the doorframe. “Will you be okay?”
“I don’t know. I think so. Good night, Shelly.” He took a few steps down the sidewalk, then turned back. “Oh, whatever is going on with you and Peter, work it out. He’s a good man.”
“I know. Thank you.” She raised a hand to wave. “And please tell Ashley everything. She has a right to know.”
Bryan turned and strode to his car, the ‘what if’ questions swirling around in his mind. Would he have found Christ if he and Shelly never broke up? Maybe, maybe not. It was that rock-bottom place that brought him to seek advice from Paul. He told him the only way to peace was to turn to God. And that He’s the one who held Bryan’s future in his hands.
But a baby?
How had he allowed himself to get Shelly pregnant? College days seemed like a world away, and yet seeing the pictures, spending time with Shelly now brought everything back. He’d been a loose cannon. Yes, he knew Shelly was a Christian, but it hadn’t mattered. He pressured her into an intimate relationship, and now he paid the price. He made sure he didn’t cross that line with Ashley, as difficult as that was, but would she understand his choices before he committed his life to God? Could she forgive him for his past? For getting Shelly pregnant?
Could he ever forgive himself?
32
Kayla stacked the last of the boxes. All weekend long, she’d packed up her apartment, first her medical books to sell back to the university bookstore then her personal things. It had taken three full days, and her muscles screamed for a soak in the tub.
“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”
Kayla expected the question from her parents, but from Chloe? “Are you having second thoughts about me moving in with you? I thought you liked the idea. Said you’d have peace knowing someone was at your apartment when you visited your sister.”
“That’s not it at all.” Chloe opened the refrigerator and pulled out two soft drinks. She handed one to Kayla. “I’m only thinking about you. You’ve worked so hard. Are you sure you want to give it all up?”
“What I’m giving up is the stress of trying to please my parents. Believe me. It feels good to finally be free—to do what I’ve always dreamed of doing.” She popped the lid and took a long swig.
“Does that mean you’ve applied to design school?”
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��I sent in my application yesterday. In the meantime, I’m going to look for a job in retail and continue designing clothes.”
“Did you hear about Jeremy?”
The soda stuck in Kayla’s throat. She swallowed hard. “What about Jeremy?”
“He got the intern position.”
“Oh, I’m so relieved.” Kayla’s heart squeezed. She missed spending time with her friend and lab partner.
“Hasn’t he told you? I thought you’d be the first to know.”
“We haven’t been talking lately.” Kayla set her soda can on the coffee table, dropped on the sofa, and took in the view of the city. She might never live in such a luxurious apartment again and wanted to capture the moment. She hugged a pillow to her chest.
Chloe joined her on the couch. “What do you mean you haven’t been talking? I thought he was your best friend, beside me, of course.”
“I blew it. That’s how. He told me he was interested in me, and I used him to help me study. Some friend I am.”
Chloe sent her a hard stare. “But I know you care for him in a deeper way, not to take advantage. You’re not like that.”
“If you only knew.” Kayla stood, walked around the chaise by the window, and leaned her head against the cold glass.
Chloe came up beside her. “What are you talking about? I thought I sensed something going on between you two at my party. What happened?”
“I only almost ruined his career.” Kayla shielded her face with her hand to hide from her friend’s scrutiny.
Chloe rubbed her shoulder. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that.”
“If I tell you, promise me you won’t judge me?”
“I promise. What could you have done that was so horrible? You don’t have a mean bone in your body.”
Kayla returned to her spot on the couch. “I let my mom believe Jeremy was trying to sabotage me—to keep her from being disappointed in my failing grades.”
“You didn’t? What did you tell her?”
“I mentioned his name when she asked about school, and she assumed the worst. I tried to make her understand, but there was no convincing her. And, as you know, she works with Dr. Collins …”
“Where was I while all this was happening?”
“You were busy getting back together with David, and I was too ashamed to tell anyone.”
Chloe’s brows narrowed. “Wow.” That one word spoke volumes.
“Hey, in my defense, I did talk with my professor—and quit medical school. I wasn’t going to let Jeremy take the fall for my mistake. He’s going to make an incredible doctor, and I’m thrilled he got the intern position. He deserves it.”
Chloe hesitated before rejoining Kayla on the couch. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Do you think less of me? Are we still friends?”
“Less of you? No. And yes, we’re definitely still friends. You did the right thing.”
Kayla heaved a sigh. Now if she could only share the truth with Jeremy.
Chloe scanned the apartment. “You’re going to miss this place.”
Kayla scrunched up her nose to keep the tears away. “I know.”
The doorbell chimed. The movers were here to empty her apartment.
“You want to do what?” Kayla maneuvered between the boxes inside Chloe’s living room, her cell phone tucked between her ear and shoulder.
“Take you out to dinner. I want to celebrate.” Jeremy’s voice held a playful tone.
Should she let on that she knew he got the intern position? “Jeremy I’ve treated you terribly. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather take someone else?”
“How many times do I have to put myself out there? I only want to be with you.”
His tender words were like a balm on an open wound. “What time do you want to meet?”
“That’s better. How about I pick you up at your place at seven?”
She had to think fast. Jeremy didn’t know she no longer lived at her apartment—or that she was no longer a medical student. “I’m at Chloe’s right now. How about I meet you somewhere?”
“All right. How about L’ardoise Bistro.”
L’ardoise was a nice restaurant, maybe too nice for her tight budget. “That’s kind of pricey, don’t you think? I’m open for anything. Sure we shouldn’t meet somewhere else?”
Jeremy growled. “Are you telling me I can’t afford to take a woman out to dinner?”
“No, I didn’t mean that.” Kayla squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m messing this up, aren’t I?”
“Yes.” Jeremy laughed. “Let me come get you.”
The photo Lauren sent her had been lost in the move, and Kayla had torn the place apart. Kayla looked around the room at all the clutter. “It’s easier if we meet.”
“If you insist. By the way, I consider this a date, so tonight is my treat.”
An official date? She could hear the smile in Jeremy’s voice.
“All right.” Kayla looked down at her T-shirt and baggy sweats. “In that case, maybe we’d better make it seven thirty. I need more time to get ready.” And find the photo. She rummaged through the box marked “Miscellaneous” for the third time.
“Okay, I’ll give you an extra half hour. It shouldn’t be too busy on a Monday night, but I’ll call and make reservations. See you at seven thirty.”
Kayla grinned. “I’ll be there.”
Two hours later, Kayla waited outside L’ardoise Bistro for Jeremy to arrive. A couple of men had already offered to buy her something to drink at the bar. As flattering as that was, she was never into the bar scene and wouldn’t ruin the night with Jeremy.
A nervous flutter tickled her insides. After all that she’d been through in the last few weeks, she liked the idea of dating Jeremy. But she didn’t want to get ahead of herself. One date at a time.
“Sorry I’m late.” His words reached her before she saw him.
She turned around and smiled. He wore a dark suit and tie that brought out his olive complexion and brown eyes. He was handsome, all right.
“You’re only late by a few minutes. I’ll forgive you this time.” She flashed him a grin.
“Parking was difficult. I had to walk several blocks to get here.” Jeremy took her hand. “You look stunning.”
“Thank you.” His perusal brought another smile. He wasn’t shy about his attraction, and it made her glad she chose her outfit carefully—a black skirt and a drape-back blouse—one of her newest creations—and spiked heels.
“Ready to eat?”
She couldn’t remember when she’d eaten last. “Definitely.”
Fifteen minutes into their meal, Jeremy raised his glass. “Here’s to my new intern position and to you for passing your finals.”
She clinked his glass, a grin on her face even though she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“For a minute, I thought Dr. Collins was going to offer you the position, not that I wouldn’t have been happy for you,” he backpedaled, “but I’ve been talking about it all semester.”
Kayla laughed it off. “What gave you that impression? With my up and down grades, I would be the last person Dr. Collins would consider for the intern position.”
“It was strange. He called me into his office then hemmed and hawed about all kinds of mundane things as if he was trying to make small talk. He told me he worked with your mom at the hospital, said she approached him and suggested you for the position. But then Dr. Collins stopped mid-sentence, as though he felt guilty for revealing that piece of information. Next thing I know, he’s pulling out my application and asking me if I’d like the job—as simple as that. No interview or anything. Strange, huh?”
“Jeremy, there’s something you need to know—”
“Kayla, what’s past is past. We hit a rough spot, so what?”
“It’s more than that.” Kayla twirled her water goblet. “I could’ve ruined everything you’ve worked so hard for.”
“You’re not making sense.”
“How? What do you mean?”
“She told Dr. Collins that you were being inappropriate with the female students.”
“What?” Jeremy’s face pinched. “What gave her that idea?”
“My mom was mad at me for my slipping grades and wanted an explanation. I was in a panic. I said your name, and she made assumptions. I could’ve cost you your career.”
Jeremy leaned back in his seat, a look of defeat on his face.
“I tried to make it right,” Kayla continued. “I went to Dr. Collins and told him the truth. At the time, I didn’t know if he believed me, but now I do. He gave you the intern position.”
“True.” Jeremy nodded.
“Jeremy, I used you. There’s no excuse for that.”
“You and a few other girls in the class. Hey, it’s tough being the smart guy.” His features relaxed a little.
“Will you forgive me?”
Jeremy rubbed his jaw, apparently grappling with his decision. “Look, I got the intern position, and you passed the exam. No harm done.” He reached for her hand across the table and rubbed his thumb across her skin. “But promise me there won’t be any more secrets between us.”
No more secrets?
For some strange reason, telling Jeremy she quit medical school was harder than telling her parents. The words wouldn’t come. Maybe if she told him she moved out of her apartment, it would be a little easier.
“Kayla, what’s up? I lost you for a minute.”
“Jeremy, you’re a good friend—the best.”
“Oh, no. Now where’s this going?”
“Not where you think. In fact, your opinion means the world to me. I’m afraid what I’m going to tell you is going to disappoint you.”