by T. M. Meek
“Guess what?!” Alex asked excitedly as she plopped herself down on Leena’s bed.
“What?”
“I’m going to be an older cousin soon! That’s almost like being an aunt!” Alex said proudly.
“Really? Who’s having a baby?” Leena asked just as excitedly.
“Aunt Meredith and Uncle Samuel.”
“Wow! How soon?”
“About eight months.”
“Is she going to have a baby shower?” Leena wondered.
“Probably.”
“I’ve never been to a baby shower before. Have you?”
“Nope.”
“That sounds like so much fun! Eating a bunch of good food and opening baby gifts with your friends. Cute little baby clothes, blankets and toys.” Leena said wistfully. Alex could see Leena was starting to get carried away in the ideas of the joys of having a baby but Alex had only intended to share the good news and then get down to the business of working on the Triple-C retirement planning presentation. So she figured she needed to burst the joy bubble Leena was in so they could get to work.
“You know teen pregnancy is one of the fastest ways for people to become homeless. Most single parents, which are often women, struggle financially. If a teenager gets a teen girl pregnant, and if he dumps her because he doesn’t want to support her and their baby financially, he’s essentially shoving her and their child into a life of poverty – and many times eventually into homelessness – if she decides to keep the baby and take a chance that the father of her baby will stay with her. The guys rarely ever stay –– especially once they realize how much everything costs. Plus too many guys don’t want to get married out of obligation anyway. They think it interferes with the sex life they really want which doesn’t usually reflect a real desire for monogamy. But you can’t really expect a guy like that to be responsible with his money anyway. It’s expensive to start a family and only the really good guys do the math and make sure to wait until after marriage to financially support and have children.
“I think Uncle Samuel and Aunt Meredith were smart to wait to get married when they were older and actually plan it out and save enough money before having kids. Uncle Samuel is definitely one of the good guys. He gives me hope. It’s guys like him that make me love to do the math so I can get things right too. That’s how I know teen pregnancy and homelessness often go hand in hand. Why in the world any girl would take a chance on becoming homeless and forcing her baby to live in poverty when she knows it’s wrong to have a baby before both the mother and the father of the child are responsible enough and mutually committed to starting a family is beyond me. I bet pregnant teens often drag their parents into poverty too – that is if they don’t already come from a lifestyle of poverty.” Alex said matter-of-factly.
“Hey! That’s a great idea!” Leena said excitedly. This was not the reaction Alex had hoped for and her facial expression showed she was clearly perturbed at Leena’s reaction.
“Let’s see how much it costs to have a baby and how much it costs to raise a child. If it’s so expensive that grown adults can’t easily afford it without waiting to save money after they’re married, then certainly a young person like you or me unexpectantly getting pregnant would easily push our parents and ourselves with our baby into homelessness since if our parents can’t afford to retire then they certainly can’t afford to help us with money to raise a baby,” Leena eagerly suggested.
Alex was bewildered. Leena really did have a good idea and Alex was secretly impressed that Leena had figured out a way to work on their presentation while enjoying the idea of having a baby and turning it all into a pragmatic tie-in to the challenges of retirement planning. Alex had always thought how important it was to understand money so as to be a good provider in a marriage. But her young mind was so focused on the costs of the costs of housing, transportation, food, clothing, taxes and investments for just one adult that she had failed to factor in the costs of having and raising a child.
The financial facts of life had always been of interest to her and even a challenge she enjoyed. After all, she had been clever enough to calculate that it takes at least six figures of gross income per year to take care of the needs of a single adult. She knew that earning such a large amount was not common for most people but that America was certainly the one place in the world that had the best opportunities for the average person to achieve such. So the thought of making it financially was a bit of a stressor for her at times but now the thoughts of additional factors to consider of having a child and supporting a spouse too were factors that would quickly and easily increase the financial demands for properly providing a secure financial safety net for a family. Alex wasn’t prepared to think about these things yet and Leena’s excitement was beginning to stress Alex out.
“Oh! I know what we can do.” Leena said clapping her hands in bliss. “We can pretend we’re married! Okay. Now I’m pregnant and you’re the father of our child…” Alex passed out cold in sudden shock and fell flat on her back over the mere suggestion of the sudden responsibility for a pregnant wife and future children. Leena’s mom, Amelia, downstairs and folding laundry, heard the sudden thud from upstairs and wondered what happened. Leena, not noticing Alex’s passed out reaction of sudden shock, just keeps on talking.
“…But what if I’m pregnant with twins?” Now even more excited, she continued. “Or even triplets! Oh Alex! Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Leena, smiling blissfully, turned around to look at Alex saw her passed out on the floor. Leena chuckled. “Oh! You are good! That’s exactly how my future husband will probably react when I tell him I’m pregnant with our first child.” Alex didn’t respond. “Okay. You can get up now.”
Leena waited for Alex to wake up and stop pretending to have fainted. Alex still didn’t respond. Leena, looked down at Alex and believing she was still pretending, said with some bewilderment, “I don’t think my husband is going to take as long as you are though to get up.” Leena looked closer and realized Alex was not pretending but really did pass out. Leena suddenly became frantic. “Alex!” she shouted. “Alex wake up! Oh no!”
Amelia heard Leena yelling and ran upstairs to see what was wrong. Leena, was shaking Alex, trying to wake her up as she continued to shout: “Alex! I’m not really pregnant! I’m not really pregnant!” Amelia, running and halfway up the stairs, overheard this and looked in shock. She ran in a panic to get to Leena and Alex. Leena was still shouting and shaking Alex. “Alex wake up! Wake up! I’m not really pregnant!”
Alex woke up, propped herself up on her elbows and asked with a foggy look, “What just happened?”
“I told you that you were the father of my child and you passed out, remember?”
Amelia, quickly entering the room, asked in a mix of frustration and concern, “What in the world is going on here?!”
As Alex sat more upright, she said in a bit of a daze, “We were working on our presentation. Leena wanted to study what makes a good income by a husband for his wife in marriage when he’s the only income earner. So Leena thought we could pretend we were married…” Alex slowly looked at Leena in some humiliation and frustration added, “…for a few minutes.” Leena was smiling cheerfully at Alex – just thrilled that Alex was okay. Alex, then looked back at Amelia and continued explaining. “We just wanted to know what it costs to have a child and estimate a sound budget for it. Unfortunately I hadn’t thought of the idea of costs for pregnancy and children and obviously the mere suggestion of it caused me to…” Alex then shot a stern look at Leena “…pass out!” Leena just smiled cheerfully at Alex.
Alex then looked up at Amelia and Amelia looked at both of them and feeling absolutely exasperated said: “First it was the car rolling away in the driveway. Then it was the night of the Ferris wheel. And now this! ” She looked as if she were huffing and puffing in anger just short of exploding. She shook her index finger angrily towards them and said, “You two…are going to give me… a heart attack!” She then
quickly turned and walked away, moving in angry haste back down the stairs.
Alex held her head in her hands in some embarrassment and then turned to see Leena still smiling at Alex.
Alex couldn’t believe it. She then said in perturbed shock, “Stop smiling!” Leena stopped smiling.
Chapter 18: Counting the Cost of Lots and Lots of Cereal