His eyes sparkled with the laughter, reminding me of the pictures my mother had shown me of the Nordic seas and fjords. Leif wasn’t pretty; he was gorgeous. He had a rugged look of masculinity and sin combined into a perfect package. His hair was inky black and adorned in warrior braids that would have looked silly on anyone else but fit him perfectly. The flannel shirt he wore was opened in the front, revealing his heavily tattooed chest that was a feast for my eyes.
“To your mother,” Leif held up his glass while waiting for me to do the same. “May the gods bless her soul and cherish her during her eternal rest.” The sound of glasses clinking together echoed through the hall as I tipped mine back, downing the bourbon, burning its way down my throat. “And she drinks like a Viking,” he announced, refilling the glasses.
“So she does,” Saint grunted, his eyes slipping between Leif and me with something similar to jealousy burning within them.
“Braelyn, isn’t it?” the woman beside Saint asked, her venom-laced tone grating over my nerves. “I’m Carleigh. Saint and I spent a lot of time together over the past ten years.”
I blinked while waiting for her to continue, but she reached for Saint’s hand, threading their fingers while studying me. The entire room went silent, and the tension at the table was growing until Leif laughed, pushing the glass back toward me.
“How long have you led the pack under your father’s nose?” Leif asked, dispelling the tension.
“Since I was eight,” I admitted, finding it surprisingly easy to talk to the Lycan. “Harold didn’t care for the pack, and he failed to understand the gravity of being stuck on the top of a mountain peak during winter. The other alphas helped me, of course. I would instruct them on what needed to be done, and they would bring it up at the meetings as if it were their ideas. I had to maintain the relationship with the alphas, encouraging them to assist me in running the pack. I was a child, after all. Even as the daughter of the alpha, to them and everyone else, I was a beta female, secretly helping the pack survive.”
“And they didn’t try to mate you to their sons?” Leif turned as Carleigh whispered into Saint’s ear, causing him to snort loudly at whatever she’d said. I did my best to ignore the pathetic attempt to make me jealous.
“They did, but Harold wasn’t interested in making a match with our people. My match with Saint came as a shock to both of us since, originally, we couldn’t stand one another. Saint had his crew, and I was the spoiled little bitch they enjoyed tormenting.”
“I will agree with that remark,” Eryx chuckled, leaning back where he sat beside me. I could feel their eyes heating my face while they listened to the conversation. “Braelyn was a pampered princess who was off-limits to the pack, according to her daddy. But she discovered her mate in Saint. And we all know what happened from there, don’t we?”
My attention slid to Saint, who watched me as his jaw ticked rapidly. Carleigh was running her fingers over his forearm while gawking at me. My heart clenched with the memories of the summer we’d spent together, hiding and learning each other. It hadn’t been sexual, but we’d spoken of our desires and exposed every little detail of ourselves to one another.
“I’m guessing your father didn’t approve of Saint as your mate?” Leif asked, his tone neutral without the condemnation the others held in their stares.
“My father wanted to breed me because, through me, he thought he could get an heir to his line. He wouldn’t have approved of anyone,” I admitted, downing the cup as those at the table went silent. “Luckily, Fenrir protects females from being raped or forced to breed with anyone who isn’t their true soul mate. He would have done so if he’d been able to, but I remained untouched to prevent it from happening.”
Leif stared at me with wide, horrified eyes. His mouth opened and closed, and then he slowly blew air out before nodding with understanding.
“He wanted a purebred Fenrir wolf heir, and he already had one under his nose the entire time. Your mother would have rolled over in her grave.”
“My mother never loved nor cared for Harold. They weren’t true mates,” I disclosed, running my finger over the rim of the glass.
“And yet she allowed him to mate with her, creating you, Princess,” Leif stated.
“So she did, paying for it with her life. I am not a princess, though. That’s just something these pricks call me to get a rise out of me.”
“You are a princess, Braelyn. Had I not murdered your grandparents, you’d have been the Queen Alpha of the Norway packs. Your mother was a princess. I know because I fully intended to claim her as my mate, forcing her to give me sons to piss off her father.” My eyes locked with Leif’s as Saint snorted, leaning closer to Carleigh’s ear to whisper something into it. “Had you not discovered you were soul-mated to my friend here, I’d be taking you away with me.”
“A Fenrir wolf must remain on the mountain, or the blessing of the land will fail,” I returned, ignoring his comment about Saint.
“Your mother was buried on this mountain, eternally blessing the land with her presence. The gods are rather fickle with their terms, leaving them open and misinterpreted more often than not.” Leif smiled before he sat back, allowing the servers to place his meal in front of him.
I ate in silence while those around me talked pleasantly with one another, proving their camaraderie extended beyond this mountain. Saint held a conversation with Carleigh, who laughed and boasted loudly about their time together for my benefit. Eryx snorted at something she said, forcing my attention to the blonde, annoying woman who was drinking and shoving food into her mouth without care.
I felt alone, watching as they all talked about old times, reminiscing about things they’d done together. My people surrounded me, yet Saint had secluded me by forcing me to sit away from them. Listening to my pack speak, I craved to be a part of their conversation, which hadn’t ever been something I’d desired.
Saint joked, flirting openly with Carleigh while ignoring me. She laughed, and he’d echoed it while the others cut in, talking about something that had happened. It had never occurred to me that Saint had a life away from the mountain while I’d been forced to stay here, surviving while he’d lived and gone places I’d never dreamed of going.
I drummed my fingers on the table, absently considering what life would have been like if I’d been strong enough to stand up to my father. Would Saint and I have had children by now? Or would he have ended up on the table beside me, being dissected while I’d be forced to watch?
No one spoke to me or about me—not until Carleigh purposely laughed loud enough that it caught my attention, allowing her to make eye contact. She slid her eyes over me and smirked as if she found me pathetic and lacking. Her eyes sparkled with delight, holding mine before she leaned closer to Saint, whispering in his ear again as he grinned at me. Rolling my eyes, I turned to take in my pack as they consumed their meal.
They didn’t seem upset that we had a new alpha. Nor had the other alphas joined the meal, which still bugged me. It wasn’t alarming for them to miss a meal, having their packs scattered throughout the mountain. But with a new alpha taking Harold’s place, they should have been present to learn what was happening. So where were they?
A scream ripped through the room, and my attention moved to Cora, a member of my pack. She was holding her pregnant stomach, howling in pain. I rose from my seat, going to her as she bent over, and another scream ripped from her lungs.
Cora dropped to the floor on her back, and I saw that her water had broken. Lifting the skirt of her dress, I rubbed her leg slightly. “It’s okay, Cora. I just need to take a look.” Dropping her legs open, Cora screamed again, just as I saw the head of the babe crowning, escaping her body. The babe slid free from its mother’s womb, and I captured it in my hands. Standing, I lifted the babe to my body, smiling until I caught the vacant stare in Cora’s eyes. She reached down and ripped the placenta free as foam and saliva dripped from her open lips. Patche
s of red broke through her hazel gaze, and before I could prevent her from moving, she lunged at me.
Toralei appeared from nowhere, shoving Cora back as I fumbled with the slippery newborn in my arms. Handing it off to another woman, I turned and saw Tora shove Cora away. A tremble of unease rushed through me at the reality of the situation. Cora had lost her mate, Fang, in the fighting last night. Fang was my father’s beta, and if Saint’s people hadn’t killed the bastard, I would have.
Fang was sick and twisted and got off on creating pain in others. He was one of the many men my father allowed to torture me. Unluckily, Cora had been soul-mated to the murderous prick.
“Find Lucas, and tell him to come,” I growled, watching Cora, who snarled and shifted toward Toralei with a feral gleam in her eyes.
When one loses a soul mate, we didn’t shift to ease the pain. We couldn’t just vanish into the woods like shifters. There was no escaping the pain when we lost the other half of our soul, so the wolf within us becomes feral, and that was dangerous. The human half went silent, leaving only the predator to control the shell. If left alive, Cora would escape or murder anyone she could, needing to cause the same pain she felt at losing her mate. It was a death sentence. Exposure to a feral Fenrir wolf wasn’t something that could be allowed, so her life would be have to be forfeited.
Cora attacked, and I slipped out of her path, and she lunged at her child. I grabbed Cora, hearing the people around us gasp as my arms wrapped around hers, holding her as Toralei bound her wrists. She bucked against me, slamming her face into mine, sending pain ripping through my nose. The scent of blood filled the air, pooling into my mouth.
“We can’t find him,” someone shouted, and I closed my eyes.
Cora was Lucas’s sister, the only living family he had left. My nails extended, and my heart clenched as I lost my hold on the woman fueled with extra strength from her wolf. She spun around, breaking free of Tora’s hold, shoving her hand into my chest as I did the same. I withdrew her heart as pain tore through me. Peering down at my chest, I inhaled as Toralei grabbed the hand that tore through my chest, prying the fingers from around my heart before Cora’s body dropped to the floor.
I stood there gasping for air, pain shuddering through me. Blood dripped from my nose and chest as Toralei stood in front of me, blocking my weakness from the pack. I stepped back as a commotion stirred at the front of the room, and Lucas entered, noting the crumpled form on the ground at my feet.
Blue eyes lifted to mine, filled with accusation. Lucas crept closer, his eyes holding mine as anger fizzled through him, smothering me. He paused in front of me, staring at me with a look I’d never seen in his expressive gaze before.
“She turned feral,” I explained through the chattering of my teeth.
“You fucking bitch,” he whispered with hatred. “They were right about you.”
“What?” I whispered, using everything I had to remain upright on my feet. “Who was right?”
“I should fucking challenge you right now, Braelyn,” he snarled, but something over my shoulder made him pause.
“She was feral, Lucas,” Toralei snapped, shoving him back away from me. “Your sister turned because her mate died. That isn’t on Braelyn. She fucking hesitated because of you since Cora was your fucking sister. It could have cost her greatly, and you want to be an asshole about it? Feral wolves don’t get a pass, no matter who they are.”
“I thought they lied, but you’re a murderous whore just like your fucking father,” Lucas accused, staring at me. “I thought I knew you, Braelyn. It turns out none of us do. You’re a monster.”
I didn’t speak, turning to find Saint and his men standing behind me, silently watching the chaos unfold. Saint’s eyes slid to mine as understanding slithered through me. My heart clenched, and my attention moved back to Lucas, who glared murderously at me.
“Your sister was feral, and that is a death sentence. You have a nephew that needs you now,” I replied icily. “You’re dismissed, Alpha Lucas. Toralei, please remove Cora’s name from the pack roster and replace it with whatever Lucas names his nephew. If you’ll excuse me,” I stated, letting my proverbial mask slid over my features to hide the pain his accusation caused.
Lucas had been my strength when I’d lost Saint. There hadn’t ever been anything sexual between us, but he’d held me up when everything else had gone adrift in rough waters. Lucas was my friend or had been until now. His chest rose and fell with his anger. But Saint standing behind me, stayed the hand Lucas would have used to end my life. It would have been a simple thing for Lucas to do in my weakened state.
Stepping back, I turned to move toward the chef’s table, where steaks were still being seared. I grabbed the pan from the red hot burner and held it against the gaping hole in my chest. I gasped, whimpering softly as my flesh sizzled, sealing the wound. Taking a moment to catch my breath, I straightened and slowly walked back to my seat, sitting silently.
Everyone watched me, taking in the blood that poured from my nose and the exposed flesh that Cora had revealed when she ripped through my dress to reach my heart. Saint sat in his chair, his gaze widening as it slid to the bottom of my exposed breasts.
“What the fuck,” Eryx grabbed me, causing me to gasp in surprise.
“Why aren’t you screaming?” Saint asked, as if at a loss for words. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I should go clean up,” I stated calmly, standing, showing no pain in my expression as everyone at the table studied me. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll return shortly.”
Chapter Twelve
I slipped out of the dining hall, smothering the tears that threatened to fall at any moment. I’d long since learned to hide my pain from the pack. It didn’t mean I was immune to it or that it hurt any less. I’d almost fucking died, and that was terrifying all on its own. This was the first time I had hesitated to act, and because of it, I’d lost my friend.
Saint was turning the alphas against me; that much was clear now. Lucas said he hadn’t believed their accusations, but in his grief for his sister, he’d changed his mind. What had they told him I’d done? My legs faltered, and I reached for the wall to steady myself. Strong arms wrapped around me, lifting me from the ground.
“Put me down. I can walk,” I growled, and Saint snorted against my ear.
Eryx settled in beside us as we moved through the empty halls toward the living quarters. Nausea churned through me, and I hated the weakness of my body from my near-death experience. It wasn’t even the first time I’d felt fingers skim over my heart, threatening to remove it. It was, however, the only time I’d needed my beta to intervene.
“Why the fuck would you kill her?” Eryx asked harshly, his eyes on the bloody mess on the front of my dress. “Feral wolves can come back.”
“Not mated wolves that have lost their mate. You killed her mate, and she’d have murdered anyone who slighted her. That would be the worst-case scenario if she remained here on the mountain. If she’d escaped the mountain, she’d have likely exposed us to the humans and brought hunters here to harm the pack. Soul-mated wolves are together for life. When one of them dies, so does the human half, leaving only an emotionally wounded wolf behind.”
“Why aren’t you screaming in pain?” Saint asked, allowing Eryx to open my bedroom door. “Your chest was punctured, and you sealed it with a fucking pan, Braelyn.”
“So I did,” I replied. “Put me down so that I can wash up and change, please.”
“Dinner is over. I doubt anyone is eating after watching that shit unfold,” Saint snapped, sitting me on the bed and ripping my dress down the middle. The material tore where it had melted to my skin when I sealed the wound with a scalding hot pan. I gasped, inhaling through my nose, exhaling slowly through my mouth. His angry stare burned my naked breasts as he glared at the spot that was raw and blistered.
“Call in the healer,” he instructed.
“Do not call the
healer. It will mend on its own,” I tried to reach for the drawer that held the herbs. “Move, or get the herbs from the drawer. My body will heal itself as it always does.”
Eryx snorted, pulling a tin out of his pocket to produce a joint that he lit, handing it to me. I covered my breasts, accepting the joint. I inhaled the fragrant herb deeply, holding it in my lungs as my head swam with pain and guilt. I didn’t blame Lucas for hating me, but I couldn’t change what had happened any more than he could.
Saint didn’t move to grab a shirt or even bother to take his gaze away from where I covered my naked breasts. Eryx didn’t either, choosing to sit in the chair beside my bed, lighting a joint for himself before leaning back to examine me.
“Has this happened before?” Saint asked, nodding at my chest.
“You’re going to need to be more specific, but more to the point, I don’t need you here. You can return to your girlfriend. Eryx is a sufficient enough babysitter. It’s not like I’m in shape to do anything other than sleep. Maybe you can fuck that blonde tonight instead of me since I’m rather—broken. Or, you can do me and ignore the pain you’ll be putting me through. Either way, I need to shower and wash the blood from my face and hair.”
Saint studied my face, then turned and went to the bathroom. I heard the water turn on as I swallowed the coppery tang of blood that filled my mouth. Saint exited the bathroom with a washcloth in his hand and sat beside me, slowly pushing me back before he carefully washed the blood from my face.
“Alphas scream and rage when their chest cavities are punctured. You barely made a fucking sound, Braelyn,” he announced, pushing my hand away from my breasts.
I could feel Saint and Eryx taking in my naked chest with their heated stares, and a blush filled my cheeks. Instead of covering myself as I wanted to do, I looked away from both men, inhaling the weed to calm my inner turmoil.
“What did you tell Lucas to make him think I’m a monster?” I asked, barely hiding the tremor in my voice, threatening to expose my emotions.
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