by L. C. Davis
I was still deep in thought when the soft sound of his snoring jolted me back to alertness. He had fallen asleep. His head was still resting against my chest, his hand pulled up in a surprisingly vulnerable position, and he looked peaceful as he slept. He almost seemed like the omega he was, and there was something about knowing he was willing to be vulnerable around me, even if it was only by accident, that filled me with pride and strengthened the desire to protect him. A desire I knew would probably have earned me a swift kick in the balls if he ever got wind of it.
I reached carefully to turn off the bedside lamp without disturbing him and closed my eyes, burying my nose in his soft hair as I drifted off to sleep myself. When I woke with him still wrapped in my arms, it felt like a damn miracle. Or maybe I was still dreaming. But he felt solid, and when I looked down, his eyes were open and staring back at me.
"How long have you been awake?" I asked drowsily.
He shrugged one shoulder. "Not long."
There was something strangely pensive about his demeanor. Or maybe this was just how he was in the morning. I had never actually woken up next to him, considering he'd been gone the one other time he'd stayed over. "You could've woken me."
"You seem tired," he said, slipping out of my arms much too soon. I watched him as he pulled on his T-shirt, fascinated by his every movement. My feelings for him had gone from curious infatuation to something far more dangerous, and I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to keep it to myself.
"I liked having you over," I said. When he looked over his shoulder, I added, "Through the night, I mean."
He snorted and pulled on his jeans. "Guess I was kind of tired, too."
I resisted the urge to joke about how I'd worn him out, considering he was only ever comfortable being remotely submissive in bed. Outside of it, it was an unspoken rule that we didn't speak of those tender moments, and it wasn’t a rule I was going to break.
"How would you feel about spending the day with me?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbow to watch him.
"We spend every day together," he said, raking a hand through his hair. It was a little longer now, falling into his eyes. He was probably going to cut it soon, but I kind of liked the way it looked. And the way it felt between my fingers in our more intimate moments.
"I don't mean working, I mean you taking the day off and letting me take you somewhere nice," I answered.
I could feel his guard going up immediately. He folded his arms and leaned back against my dresser. "We’ve talked about this."
"Yeah, but we also talked about this being a one-time thing, and it obviously isn't. I thought maybe you would change your mind about that, too."
He sighed heavily. "I haven't. Look, I like you… And I’m obviously attracted to you, but I'm just not ready for a relationship right now."
"There's probably a middle ground between mating and going out for a pancake breakfast together," I said flatly.
He flipped me off in a playful manner, pulling on his socks and boots. "Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather limit our time to the house, and in here," he said, gesturing to my bed.
Couldn't help but smile. Damn, he was stubborn. It was probably part of the reason I was so obsessed. I wanted more, but I certainly wasn't going to complain about getting him however I could have him.
For now.
Chapter 6
Sawyer
I'd been working with Devon for awhile and sleeping with him just as long. Every time I left his bedroom, I told myself it was going to be the last, unless I was doing something about that awful crown molding. Inevitably, I caved and told myself this really would be the last time.
When he'd asked if I wanted to spend the day with him, I was admittedly surprised. I just assumed he felt the same way I did, and that his early attempts to take me out to dinner and the like were just him trying to do the socially acceptable thing. Most alphas felt like they had to at least give the appearance of wanting a relationship when all they really wanted was to mess around.
At least, I thought that was all he wanted. I thought that was all I wanted, but my heart's reaction to that offer was far too concerning.
How had this even happened? Not only had I fallen for an alpha months after I'd sworn him off for good, but I had fallen for a client.
No matter what he said now, the moment our professional relationship ended, I knew whatever romantic feelings had been kindled by his close proximity and convenience would die out. On his end, at least. I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to fully get him out of my head, and that was already starting to scare me.
My brother and his mate frequently invited me over for dinner, but I had been dodging their requests lately since I was so busy with work. Work and the extracurricular activities that had accompanied it lately. I missed them, though, and I missed my niece and nephew, so I promised myself I was going over that night, even if I did feel like crap.
It wasn't like I could count on feeling better the next morning, anyway. Even though I religiously took care of my body, and obsessed over getting the proper nutrients, I kept feeling like I was going to throw up every time I tried to eat something. I'd caved to the uncharacteristic urge to stop at the drive through on my morning commute for a breakfast sandwich. I never eat that shit, but it tasted like the most amazing thing in the world, and I wasn't sure what to make of that.
Maybe all the stress of my schedule was finally starting to get to me. I loved my work, but there were probably a few things I could outsource now that the business was doing well. My control freak tendencies made it feel like a step too far outside my comfort zone, but if my body was starting to be disaffected, something had to change.
I just hoped I could get through dinner without losing the few crackers I'd managed to get down at lunch. Jeff was sensitive, especially now that he was pregnant with his third baby, and I didn't want him thinking it was about his cooking.
The aroma of the lasagna that greeted me as soon as I walked through the front door of their family home should have been alluring, but it made my stomach turn. Not off to a great start.
"Hey, I'm here," I called.
Before long, I heard the thunderous sounds of tiny feet rushing down the stairs and was tackled by the toddlers who ran so fast they were just blurs of their brightly colored play clothes.
"Uncle Sawyer," Tiffany cried, leaping into my arms. I snatched her up and laughed, picking Taylor up, too.
"It's the rugrats," I said, grinning at them both. They shrieked as I tossed them down on the sofa. "Wait, no it's not. Tiffany and Taylor are little kids, you two are way too big to be them."
They exchanged an incredulous look, and Taylor snickered.
"It is us," Tiffany yelled, bouncing up and down on the cushion. "Poppa says I grew half a inch!"
I chuckled. "I can see that. Before long, you're both gonna be taller than me."
They laughed giddily at the prospect. A very tired-looking Jeff shuffled into the room, dark circles around his light blue eyes. They were still bright as he smiled at me. "Well, look who it is. I was starting to think I would have to send out a search party."
I laughed, pulling the other omega in for a hug. He was finally starting to show, as tiny as he was. "Good to see you. You're looking good."
He gave me a look. "I look like I got hit by a bus, but this little one has decided to kick me every time I go to sleep," he said, rubbing his swollen belly.
"Sounds rough," I said, cringing. It had sucked being sick for a month. I couldn't imagine a whole seven or eight.
"Come on, Jay said dinner should be ready in a minute," Jeff said, leading the children out of the room. "Both of you, go upstairs and wash her hands."
They ran off to do as he said. I followed Jeff into the dining room, where the table was already set.
"My brother cooked?" I asked doubtfully, spotting Chase through the doorway into the kitchen. "You sure it's morning sickness and not that?"
Chase scowled at me
over his shoulder and teasingly flipped me off before turning back to the salad he was making.
I just grinned. "So, you guys should be finding out the sex any day now, right?" I asked, sitting across from Jeff.
"We decided we didn't want to find out this time," Jeff said, leaning back to make room for his stomach. He was always touching it, or gazing down adoringly, and Chase was even worse. They were adorable, if a bit sickly sweet, and sometimes watching them, I couldn't help but imagine the life I had once thought I would be living with Trevor.
No, domestic bliss wasn't something I'd always wanted like it was for Chase, but given enough time with Trevor, I had grown used to the idea. Grown to long for it, even. Now that he was gone, those feelings lingered no matter how much I wished they would go away.
"Mom’s gonna have a fit," I warned them.
"That ship has already sailed," Chase said, carrying the salad over to the table. The kids came running back in and squirmed up into their seats.
The lasagna ended up being surprisingly good, though definitely not as good as Jeff's cooking. Chase had never been the kind of alpha who helped out in the kitchen, so it was surprising to see him fawning over his mate. Then again, I guessed the instinct was strong enough to take care of his pregnant omega that it would override even his macho sensibilities.
Having kids and finding a mate had changed him. All for the better, too. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would change me, but there was no point thinking about something that was never going to happen anyway.
When the conversation drifted from how the kids were doing at preschool to all the doctors’ appointments Jeff had lined up for the next few months, I found my focus drifting, not because I wasn't interested in the family conversation, but because I was having a harder time keeping my dinner down.
I hadn't eaten that much, and I had skipped the wine on the table, making an excuse about solidarity with Jeff. The truth was, even the smell of it turned my stomach. I had never been a big drinker anyway, but I liked the occasional beer. Lately, I hadn't even been able to stomach the thought.
"Are you alright, Sawyer?" Jeff asked, watching me with keen eyes. The kids had already gone off into the playroom, and I could hear some hyperactive show blaring in the background. "You look a little pale."
"I'm fine," I assured him.
"You sure?" Chase asked, clearing the dishes. Another miracle I wouldn't have believed if I didn't see it. "I've never seen you turn down pie."
I rolled my eyes. "I've just been feeling kind of off. It's no big deal."
"Off how?" Chase asked warily.
I hesitated, but I knew how they both fretted, and I didn't want them thinking I had some tropical illness or something. "I just been nauseous and got a run down. Nothing to worry about, just probably overworked."
"Never thought I'd hear you admit that," he said flatly, sitting back down. "You know, you got a whole crew now. It wouldn't kill you to delegate some."
I gave an irritated grunt. He was right, and while it wasn't anything I hadn’t already been thinking myself, I didn't take criticism well from alphas. Not even my own brother.
Still, he had a point. At the rate things were going, something had to change.
Jeff was watching me with a strange glint in his eyes, so intently it made me nervous. "How long have you been feeling like this?" he asked.
I hesitated. "A month, give or take. Why?"
His eyes widened a little and he and Chase exchanged a look. One of those infuriating looks only a couple who had been together long enough to read each other's minds could give, even if it drove everyone around them nuts.
"What?" I asked impatiently.
"Are you seeing anyone?" Jeff asked curiously.
Chase cleared his throat. "I'm going to go… anywhere else."
I watched in confusion as he left the room, then turned back to my brother-in-law. "What was that about?"
Jeff gave a knowing chuckle, but he didn't answer me.
"Yeah," I finally admitted. "I've been kind of seeing this guy, but it's not anything serious or I would've told you guys about it."
His eyes were still sparkling, and I could see the gears turning behind them. "Have you been seeing him for more than a month?"
It took me a second to put his strange line of questioning together. To be fair, I definitely wasn't feeling optimal physically or mentally. "No way," I said with a nervous laugh. "I know you're thinking, but it's not that."
"How are you so sure?" He pressed. "Isn't it an alpha?"
"Well, yeah," I grudgingly admitted. "But we've been careful."
I froze as I remembered the one time we hadn’t been. The first time we had hooked up, it hadn’t been planned and it had resulted in me throwing caution to the wind. "Okay, maybe there was once, but the odds of that…"
"Are better than you think," Jeff said dryly, folding his arms.
"I'm not pregnant," I told him, my head spinning at the mere idea.
"There's only one way to know for sure," Jeff said, hauling himself up from the table. "I’ve got some extra tests from when we were trying, if you want to find out."
My heart was pounding a mile a minute. I didn't want to find out. The idea was just absurd, and way too much to process, but I knew if I didn't find out, it was going to haunt me for the rest of the night. Probably until I went into my next heat and confirmed I wasn't pregnant.
Well, what was the harm? The odds were a hundred to one, and I had always been pretty damn lucky. "Fine," I muttered. "Just so you two leave me alone."
Jeff gave me a satisfied smile and led me over to the bathroom. He pulled a box out of the medicine cabinet. "Here you go. It should only take a few minutes to develop."
I took the test and grumbled, closing myself in the bathroom. The instructions were simple enough, and during the three-minute wait for a reading on the display to show up, I had managed to convince myself the results were going to be negative. They had to be. Every other time, we'd been extremely careful, and what were the odds? I certainly hadn't used protection every time I'd been with Trevor, and I’d never gotten pregnant. I had often wondered if it was even possible, but the idea of having children was so essential to him that I had always been afraid to find out for sure.
Now that I was faced with the opposite kind of fear, I found myself conflicted. What would I do if I was pregnant?
No, I couldn’t think like that. There was no reason to get myself all worked up. It was just stress.
A knock at the door jolted me out of my thoughts. "Well?" Jeff called to the door. "It's probably ready by now."
I reluctantly opened the door, still holding the test. "I told you it was—" I broke off as I looked down at the developing double lines on the stick.
It felt like my heart had just bottomed out. I did a double-take at the reading, and then another. Then I started questioning my vision. Maybe I needed glasses. There was just no way…
Jeff's gasp told me I wasn't the only one who'd seen both lines. He had a hand clamped to his mouth, his eyes dancing with excitement.
I felt it, too, but it was nearly drowned out with dread and disbelief. Now I really felt nauseous. I sank back against the wall because I didn't trust my knees all of a sudden. "This has to be a mistake," I murmured.
Jeff put a hand on his hip. "99.9% accuracy, and you think the odds of you being pregnant are slim?"
I groaned, raking a hand down my face. "This can't be happening."
Jeff put a gentle hand on my arm, his tone softening. "Whatever is going on with this alpha, we’re always here for you. No matter what."
I nodded, my throat too tight to speak. The truth was, I had no idea what was happening with Devon. Or what I was going to tell him.
For the night, all I wanted to do was go home and climb into bed and just not think about anything. Maybe if I denied it enough, I'd wake up and find it was all just a weird dream.
Chapter 7
Devon
It had been a
week since I’d heard from Sawyer, although his crew had shown up every day right on schedule to continue working. The truth was, I didn’t even care about the renovations, I just needed to see him.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. It had been plaguing me for a while now, but I couldn’t figure it out. He had answered my last text with as few words as possible, and I wasn’t sure how to proceed without pushing him further away.
My alpha instincts to claim and protect outweighed that fear, and I found myself on his doorstep early one morning, even though it was raining.
As I waited for him to answer, I grew more and more concerned. What if he was hurt or something? I hadn’t heard from him in over a day.
When he opened the door, relief like I’d never known filled me. The concern lingered, though, especially when I saw how tired he looked. He was pale and there were dark circles around his eyes, but he was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and it took all my willpower to resist the urge to pull him into my arms.
“Devon?” he asked in a confused tone. “What are you doing here?”
“I was worried about you,” I answered, realizing how that probably sounded. How this probably looked. “Are you alright?”
Sawyer sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “I’m fine. Come in.”
He stepped back to allow me inside, and I looked around, finding it surreal that I was actually in his apartment. It was a simple layout, neat and clean, but nothing like the properties in his design portfolio. I didn’t know why I’d expected he would live in one of them.
“Nice place.”
He gave me a look and walked over to the sofa in the living room. “It’s the size of your living room.”
“It’s still nice,” I said, sitting down a greater distance from him than I wanted to. For a few tense seconds, I found myself at a loss for words. Only he had that mystifying effect on me.
“You got my last text. Why were you worried?” he asked before I had the chance.