by Jeane Watier
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure. I have this feeling she was ready to forgive me before I even said anything. She amazes me.”
“You’re one lucky bastard,” Jim laughed.
“I know.”
“Actually...it wasn’t luck.”
“What do you mean?” Geoff questioned. Then he recalled some of the things Jim had said. “You mean the stuff about creating our reality?”
“It works,” Jim insisted. “It saved my marriage, and you proved it yourself last night.”
“I know some kind of miracle happened, but I don’t understand how I created it,” Geoff objected.
“Your thoughts, man. You said yourself that you were thinking about your marriage as if it was over. When you changed the way you were thinking, things changed. That’s how this works.”
“But I can’t affect what Jenna is going to do or say.” Geoff was having a hard time. He believed that the solution to their financial problems had been an answer to his prayer, but he still couldn’t see how Jenna’s response was his doing.
“It works,” Jim repeated. “And it can work in our business too.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“No,” he replied emphatically. “It’s just the opposite. That’s part of this, too. You have to create the scenario you want to play out in your mind first, and then you’ll see it in your experience. You have to believe it before you can see it.”
“I don’t know, man,” Geoff shook his head.
“Look, I know this is a lot to grasp, but do me a favor. When you think of this deal, try to envision it the way you’d like to see it work out, not the way it is. Imagine all the players in agreement. Imagine Jenkins signing the papers and all the necessary approval we need falling into place. Just say things like, ‘I don’t know how this is possible, but it could still work.’ What have you got to lose?”
“At this point? Nothing, I guess,” Geoff conceded. “Okay. I’ll try it. I hope you’re right.”
“I’m right.”
~
When they got back to his place, Brian let the dogs in. After a few minutes of excited wagging, they calmed down. Brian turned on the fireplace in the living room, and Duke settled comfortably in front of it. Then Brian went into the kitchen to pour some wine, and when he returned, he stood there with a puzzled look on his face. Rather than joining Duke by the fire, Cassie was sitting by Rachael. The dog’s head was on her knee. “Is she always this friendly?” Rachael asked as she ran her hands through Cassie’s soft, wavy hair.
“No, she’s usually more reserved,” Brian said, staring at his canine friend. “In fact...the only other person she does that to is my dad.”
“Wow. I’m honored.”
“Steve was so much like Dad, both in looks and in personality, I always thought that’s why she favored Dad so much.” Brian set the glasses on the coffee table. As he sat down beside Rachael, Cassie turned and licked his hand. He ruffled her hair and then held her head between his hands. “What do you think of Rachael, Cassie?”
She barked in response. Duke woke up and barked, too, at hearing Cassie.
Rachael laughed as she addressed the dogs, “You’ve made me feel very welcome. Thank you.”
Brian was still shaking his head as Cassie settled down on the floor by his feet, her tail flopping every once in a while. “They must know I really like you. They’re showing their approval.”
“I love that they’re more than just dogs to you; they’re like family.” Rachael relaxed, tucking her feet under her.
Brian stretched his arm behind her on the sofa. “Yeah, they’re pretty special.”
She leaned toward him, laying her head on his shoulder. She was still amazed at how far their relationship had progressed in a week, especially the depth of emotion she was feeling.
Brian turned to look into her eyes. He stroked her cheek and then kissed her forehead and nose. He lightly brushed his lips over hers and then kissed her neck and ears. Rachael was in heaven. The feel of his lips on her skin was exquisite. In response, she explored the hard, toned muscles of his chest and arms. Then she ran her hand through his hair. It was soft and curled around her fingers. She stroked the side of his face and traced her finger over his lips. He kissed her again, gently at first, almost teasing her with his lips and then deeply, intensely. She savored the taste of his mouth, the feel of his tongue.
The passion mounted quickly as they began to explore each other’s bodies more intimately. After a few minutes Brian pulled away and asked unevenly, “Rachael, do you want to…” he began. “I mean…are you okay with where this is going?”
“Mmm,” she nodded, wanting more.
One of the dogs made a noise just then. “We have an audience,” Brian noted. “I think we need some privacy.” Kneeling on the sofa, he picked Rachael up in his arms effortlessly and started walking toward the hallway.
Cassie raised her head as they got up. Duke jumped up and started to follow. “Stay Duke,” Brian said firmly. Duke lay back down obediently, making a disgruntled sound.
Rachael laughed, “He might not like me so much after this.”
“He’ll get used to it. I’ll have a talk with him in the morning.”
~
Jenna arrived home from work to find that Geoff had a surprise planned. He wouldn’t tell her the details, just that they were going out. The kids were in on it, and they were jumping up and down excitedly. As she went upstairs to change for the date with her husband, she smiled at the amazing shift that had taken place in her life.
At Rachael’s, she’d deliberately moved herself into contentment, even hopefulness about their financial situation. As a result, a solution had presented itself. She began to see Geoff in a new light, too. When she thought about him having his own desires and creating his own reality, she’d started to soften toward him.
She didn’t feel angry with him anymore. Something had changed that night. Standing in the doorway of his office, listening to him tell her his plan, especially about selling his bike, she’d known that everything would be all right, and she began to have a new appreciation for him. Suddenly she saw him strong and in control of things, rather than weak and irresponsible. She saw the man she’d fallen in love with.
Now, as she stood in her closet, she realized that she didn’t know how to dress. She had no idea where Geoff was taking her. He walked in, and she noted that he had on a shirt and tie with dress pants, but it wasn’t unusual to see him dressed that way.
“I don’t know what to wear.” She looked at him, hoping he would give her some clue as to where he was taking her.
He smiled and reached past her to take a dress off its hanger. “This should do.” It was a dress she’d bought for their tenth anniversary, the year before. She didn’t have great memories of the evening; Geoff had talked on his cell phone for more than half the meal. She hadn’t worn it since, but she liked the dress, so she took it from his hand.
“I really like the way you look in this dress, babe,” he affirmed as he helped her with her zipper. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention to you last time you wore it.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Take as much time as you need.” Then he left her alone to finish dressing.
He’d remembered! Jenna continued to be amazed at all the change that was happening. It was ironic, because not that much had changed on the outside. It was her perception of things that had changed drastically. The doorway of possibilities had opened up. Hope had blossomed right before her eyes.
She curled her hair and touched up her makeup. She put on the perfume Geoff had bought her for her birthday. After putting on the black pumps she’d been wearing at work, she changed her mind and slipped into a pair of high heels she’d bought to go with the dress.
She stopped to look in the full-length mirror as she walked out of the bedroom. Something was different. She’d dressed up before, but this time, the reflection looking back at her was beautiful. It was the smile that made the dif
ference.
Geoff and the kids were waiting when she came down the stairs. “Mommy, you look so pretty!” Chelsea ran up to her and gave her a hug.
Geoff was smiling as he held her coat for her. It was good to see him smile again. He was a good-looking man—even more handsome now, she noted, than when he was younger. The years had already begun to grey his hair at the temples and there were a few lines in his face, but that gave him a more distinguished look. It suited him.
They’d driven for almost twenty minutes when Brenton asked, “Mommy, do you know where we’re going now?”
“I think I do, we’re almost at Auntie Barb’s.” She gave Geoff a questioning look.
“All right, you guys can tell her now.” Geoff looked at the kids through the rearview mirror as he pulled into the familiar cul-de-sac.
“We’re sleeping over at Auntie Barb’s, so you and Daddy can go on a date,” Chelsea announced.
Barb and her husband had two boys. The oldest was five, a year younger than Brenton. The baby was a year and a half, and Chelsea loved to help look after him. They all went inside and spent a few minutes visiting with Geoff’s sister and brother-in-law. Jenna gave the kids hugs and kisses before they ran off to play with their cousins. As Jenna and Geoff were leaving, Geoff handed his sister a small piece of paper. When they reached the car, Jenna asked, “What was on the paper?”
“I gave her the number at the restaurant we’re going to. I left my cell phone at home.”
Jenna was speechless. She knew exactly where they were going. He was taking her to the same restaurant they’d gone to for their anniversary—and he’d left his cell phone at home on purpose.
Chapter 21
Dinner was perfect. The atmosphere was romantic and the food delicious. Geoff couldn’t take his eyes off Jenna. He’d always thought of her as attractive. Her face was so familiar to him, but something had changed. Her eyes had a sparkle to them, and her smile lit up her whole face. She looked radiant. Not only that, she looked happy.
Throughout the meal they made small talk, discussing the kids and Jenna’s work and whether they should spend Christmas at home or go to Geoff’s parents as usual. When the waiter removed their plates, Geoff reached across and took Jenna’s hand. He caressed it for a moment as he pondered how to tell her what he was feeling. He wanted to promise her that things would be different in the future, but he didn’t want it to sound just like all the empty promises he’d made in the past.
Before he could find the words, Jenna addressed him. “Geoff, thank you. Not just for this,” she clarified, taking in the agreeable décor around her, “but for being you.”
Geoff couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He started to object, but Jenna continued. “I realized that I was trying to blame you for the way I was feeling. I was angry with you, and it felt better than being depressed, but I couldn’t stay in anger; it’s not who I am. Once I started to look past that, I began to see that the things I was angry at you for, were the very things I love about you.”
Unable to respond with words, he lifted Jenna’s hand and held it to his lips for a moment. He blinked away a tear as he shook his head, replying in a choked voice, “I don’t deserve you.”
After a deep breath, he went on. “I had no idea you were going through such a rough time. I couldn’t see anything but my own selfish dreams. I wanted to make you happy, and I thought money was the way to do that.” He shook his head again. “Now I don’t care about the money.”
“Geoff, it’s not your job to make me happy; I know that now. For the first time in my life, I know that I’m going to be all right. But you have to do what makes you happy. You’re creative and independent, and you dream big. I don’t want you to give that up; it’s who you are. I believe, somehow, you’ll find a way to make your dreams come true. You just need to stay focused on what you want.”
Geoff frowned. It sounded as though Jenna was saying the same thing Jim had. He wanted to make sure that he’d heard right. “You want me to keep doing what I’m doing?”
“Only if it makes you happy.”
“I’m not sure anymore,” Geoff admitted. “A few weeks ago, when we were so close, I wanted this deal more than anything. But when you walked out that day, and I realized that you might not come back, I started to evaluate things. All of a sudden, this deal meant nothing. All I could think about was getting you back.”
“Well, I’m back,” Jenna smiled, “and I’m not going anywhere. Now when you think about your business, what do you really want?”
Geoff knew the answer. He’d worked hard to build their business, and that latest venture would have put them on the international playing field. It was the kind of thing he’d dreamed of his whole life. The money, the success, the feeling of having made it—they were all such temporal things, and yet if he was honest with himself, he wanted to experience them—just not at the expense of Jenna and the kids. “I really wanted this deal to happen,” he sighed.
“Is there no way things could still work out?”
“Jim seems to think there is. He says we need to stay positive. He keeps insisting that we can create our reality.”
“Really?” Jenna looked at him in surprise. “Rachael believes that we create our own reality. She says that we attract people, circumstances, and events into our lives by the thoughts that we think. Our lives are shaped by our belief systems, but most of us live unconsciously, not really aware of what we’re thinking. I had a hard time with it at first, but I’m beginning to see how it works.”
“This Rachael sounds like an amazing person,” Geoff submitted. “I’d like to meet her sometime. I’d like to thank her.”
“Thank her?”
“Yeah, for telling you this, for helping you,” he clarified. “I can’t believe the difference in you.”
“I know,” Jenna agreed. “I’m excited to learn even more about this teaching. It’s already answered so many of my questions.”
“I think it’s something I need to learn, too.”
~
Jenna looked across the table at the man she’d been married to for over ten years. He seems so different, and yet...he’s always been like this in some ways. It’s hard to believe that all this has come about just because I changed my thoughts. Do I really hold that much power? She knew the answer, but it was so much to take in. The whole thing still astounded her, and now Geoff wanted to learn about it as well.
“What are you thinking about?” Geoff inquired softly, still holding her hand.
“So much has changed. It’s what I wanted, but now I can hardly believe it’s true.”
“I know,” Geoff attested. “Do you think we can really control our lives with just our thoughts?”
“Yeah,” Jenna pondered it a moment. “I do now. Rachael has all kinds of stories about how it’s changed her life. Phenomenal stories. But now, I’ve seen it work for me, for us. I can’t wait to see what else is possible.”
They ordered a dessert to share, and Jenna took a bite. It was rich and chocolaty, but at the same time, it was the lightest, fluffiest layer cake she’d ever tasted. The creamy smooth texture melted in her mouth.
“What do you want out of life?” Geoff asked as he took a bite of the dessert.
“More than anything, I want to feel good. I want to be happy.”
“But is there anything you want to do differently?” Geoff probed. “How do you feel about your job?”
What do I want? His words made her think. She realized she’d never consciously asked that question before. I’m grateful for my job, but to be honest, I don’t feel fulfilled. I don’t feel passionate about it. The trouble is, I’ve never felt passionate about anything in my life. Maybe now I could learn to like it, she rationalized.
A voice inside was telling her there was more. “I’m not sure,” she replied, still deep in her own thoughts. “Some interesting things have been happening lately. Rachael wanted advice on decorating her place, and helping her with that felt really good.
“Then I met a stranger on the train, and we started talking about decorating. This woman decorates show homes for builders, and her job sounds so interesting...”
All of a sudden something came to life, and Jenna began to dream. A desire burst forth from within, giving her a glimpse of what could be. “If I could be anything I wanted, I think I’d like to be an interior decorator.”
Chapter 22
As details of the previous evening filtered into her mind, a smile lit up Rachael’s face. She reached for her journal from the nightstand and began to write, capturing every detail of their perfect date. It had been very tempting to stay. She could imagine waking up beside Brian, making love again. “Mmmm,” she breathed, recalling how sensational it had been. Yet coming back to her place had felt right. Time apart makes time together even more delicious, she mused.
Brian was stopping by with the dogs later, and they were going for a walk. Noting the time, she decided to get up. She felt like pampering herself, so she ran a bath. She added some bubbles and then lit the candles that Jenna had helped her pick out for her bathroom. In the kitchen she toasted a bagel, poured orange juice in a wine glass, and put her breakfast on a tray. In the living room, she stopped to pick up her book and the cordless phone.
Satisfied that she had everything she might need, Rachael set the tray beside the tub, slipped off her robe and stepped into the hot, steaming bath. The bubbles were almost up to her chin as she sank down into the water. As she listened, she could hear music from her CD player in the bedroom. This is nice, she declared as she sipped her juice. I need to do this more often.
Her book was a collection of writings by a man who taught in the early part of the twentieth century. As she read, she was astonished at how his teachings lined up with what she’d been learning recently. The author wrote about the Universal Mind:
It fills all space…It is in man, as well as outside him. As he thinks into this Universal Mind, he sets a law in motion, which is creative, and which contains within itself a limitless possibility.12