Her Mother's Shadow

by Diane Chamberlain

  “Is that what you think?”

  She hesitated, not wanting to tamper with the girl’s beliefs if they were giving her comfort. Yet she thought she should be honest. “I guess I don’t believe it myself. But, honey—” the endearment left her mouth with amazing ease, and if it surprised Mackenzie, it surprised her even more “—I think people who have something terrible happen to them have to try to make the best of things. That’s our task. That’s harder to do than just thinking that things happen for a reason and letting it go at that, don’t you think? Much harder. I used to think, ‘What would Mom want me to do?’ when I was faced with a decision.” She no longer thought that. She no longer trusted her mother’s judgment. But maybe the concept would work for Mackenzie. “That helped me so much,” she said. “It made me feel as though my mother was still with me.” The good mom. The mom who had not yet fallen from grace.

  “Sometimes I think it was all a mistake,” Mackenzie said. “That my mother’s still alive and will come back.”

  “I know.” Lacey remembered that fantasy very well.

  Mackenzie suddenly let go of her and sat back, wiping her wet face with her fuchsia-tipped fingers. “God, I’m so embarrassed,” she said.

  “What about?” Lacey still had her hand on Mackenzie’s arm. She didn’t seem to want to let go.

  “That I woke up screaming. I’m such a loser.”

  “Don’t feel bad. Dreams can be very frightening.”

  “Did you ever do that?” Mackenzie asked. “Wake up screaming?”

  It wasn’t difficult to remember those months after her mother had been killed. She didn’t think she’d been able to sleep long enough to dream. “I don’t think I screamed out loud,” she said. “But I screamed a lot in my head. And that wasn’t very helpful, because that meant that no one ever heard it, so no one came running to be with me.”

  Mackenzie leaned away to look at her. Slowly, she raised her hand, reaching out to touch Lacey’s cheek, touching tears Lacey had not even realized she was crying.

  “I love you, Mackenzie,” Lacey said. She pulled the girl close again as the remarkable words filled the room, and she knew all at once that they were the truth.

  CHAPTER 33

  “I want to meet the new dog,” Mackenzie said, peering through the sunroom windows. She’d spent the past half hour watching Bobby’s meticulous application of paint on the belt buckle, but although she’d kindly pretended to be interested, he knew that her heart had not really been in it.

  He looked up from his work to see Clay and a woman standing in the rear yard. The woman had long gray hair plaited in a braid down her back, and at her side sat a huge, handsome German shepherd. The sun was so bright, it cast sharp shadows of man, woman and dog in the sand.

  “Is that the dog Clay was talking about?” Bobby asked. “The one with post-traumatic stress or whatever it is?”

  Mackenzie nodded, her gaze glued to the yard. “He said they were coming today,” she said. “Poor dog.”

  It was Saturday, so Mackenzie was home all day, giving Nola the weekend for her real estate business. She had e-mailed her friends, talked to them on her cell phone and read books to Rani, who was now out running errands with Gina, leaving Mackenzie restless and bored.

  “I’m not sure meeting that dog is such a good idea,” Bobby said. “Remember, he attacked someone.”

  “I’ll call Clay and ask him.” Mackenzie whipped out her cell phone and dialed a number. Bobby thought of stopping her, telling her not to interrupt him while he was working, but he knew Clay wouldn’t mind. Clay had done a great job of involving Mackenzie in his dog training, and it seemed as though she was a true help to him.

  They both watched Clay unclip his cell phone from his belt and raise it to his ear.

  “It’s me, Clay,” Mackenzie said. “I’m in the sunroom.”

  Clay turned toward the house, and Mackenzie waved at him through the window.

  “Can I come out and meet Wolf?” she asked. She waited for his answer, then broke into a pretty smile. “Sweet!” She flipped her phone shut and turned to Bobby. “He said it’s fine.”

  “I’ll go with you, okay?” Bobby said, feigning curiosity about the dog, but his real reason for wanting to accompany her was that he didn’t like the idea of her approaching the dog alone. He had little experience with dogs and had never been truly comfortable around them. Surely, though, Clay would not have said it was okay if there was a problem.

  Together, they walked out onto the rear porch of the keeper’s house and down the steps to the sand. Wolf stood up as they approached, and Bobby was surprised to see the dog’s tail wagging. Nevertheless, he was glad that the animal was on a leash.

  “Avert your eyes,” Mackenzie said to him under her breath.

  “What?”

  “Don’t look him right in the eyes. It feels like a challenge to dogs when you do that. Like a threat.”

  “Got it. Thanks.” Despite his lack of knowledge about dogs, that was one thing he did know, but he wanted to let Mackenzie feel like she knew more than he did. He smiled at Clay and the woman, keeping his eyes on their faces and away from Wolf.

  The woman was stunning. She had to be close to sixty, but her hair was thick in the braid running down her back and her smile was very wide, displaying a mouthful of white teeth.

  “This is Bobby and his daughter, Mackenzie,” Clay said to the woman.

  Bobby and his daughter, Mackenzie. My God. It was the first time he’d heard those words spoken, and although he was certain they were not the truth, they filled him with an undeniable sense of joy and pride. He couldn’t resist resting a fatherly hand on Mackenzie’s shoulder.

  “And this is Susan,” Clay said to them.

  Susan reached out her hand. Bobby hesitated a moment before shaking it in case Wolf might misinterpret his contact with the woman. Wolf, though, seemed perfectly placid. Almost drugged.

  “Mackenzie’s my assistant,” Clay said.

  “Can I pet him?” Mackenzie asked.

  “Let him sniff your hand,” Susan said. “Then pet his chest. Don’t go for the top of his head.”

  Mackenzie nodded, approaching the dog and letting him sniff the back of her hand. She reached low to scratch his chest, and Wolf leaned into her, obviously enjoying the physical contact. Bobby began to relax.

  “Clay said he helped you train Wolf years ago,” he said to Susan.

  Susan nodded. “He was a great search-and-rescue dog, but he’s become untrustworthy since about two months ago.” She described the terrifying incident Clay had told them about in which Wolf had been shot by the kidnapper. “After he attacked my friend, I considered having him euthanized, but I just can’t do that if there’s a chance of rehabilitating him.”

  “He’s so sweet.” Mackenzie was now sitting in the sand and Wolf had rolled onto his back for a belly rub.

  “He’s unpredictable,” Susan said. “I wish I knew what was going on in his head.”

  “I’d like to have my dad look him over before I start working with him,” Clay said. “Give him a good physical so we can rule out any medical problems.”

  “You’ll take him on, then?” Susan asked.

  “Yes. Are you willing to leave him here so I can work with him every day? He’ll stay in the kennel.” Clay pointed in the direction of the fenced-in area near the parking lot.

  “Of course,” Susan said, “although I’ll miss him terribly.” She sat down in the sand next to Mackenzie and rubbed Wolf’s chest while Mackenzie concentrated on his mid-region. It was clear that Wolf was in doggy heaven. Susan looked up at Clay. “How long do you think he’ll have to be here?”

  “That depends on the progress he makes,” Clay said. “I’ll work with him every day, and of course, I’ll only use positive reinforcement with him.”

  Susan nodded. “That’s why I wanted you to be the one to work with him,” she said.

  Bobby heard the sound of a vehicle on the gravel lane and turned to see
Lacey’s car pull into the parking lot. Mackenzie waved to her as she got out of the car. It seemed that a small miracle had taken place the night before, and that the time Lacey had spent in Mackenzie’s bedroom had been a turning point for the two of them. Lacey hadn’t said much about it, but she thanked him for encouraging her to go to the girl. When he came downstairs that morning, he found the two of them making French toast together, an easy camaraderie between them.

  He’d felt awkward around Lacey the last couple of days, still reeling from the fact that she’d seen him with Elise in the parking lot. The middle of the night had seemed a safe time to meet, but it was obvious that he would have to be far more careful. Lacey had not bought his lies—of that he was certain—but she seemed willing to let the topic go and he was not going to bring it up again on his own.

  Now he watched Lacey pull a scrunchie from the pocket of her capris and use both her hands to gather up her hair and secure it in a ponytail. Then she started walking across the sand toward them.

  In an instant, everything changed. Wolf leaped to his feet, a growl forming deep in his throat. Bobby saw Susan tighten her hand on the leash, and Mackenzie quickly stood up.

  “Hi,” Lacey called out with a smile, obviously unable to hear the dog’s warning. She was ten feet away when Wolf lunged for her. Susan held the leash with both hands, calling out futile commands to the dog—“Come! Sit! Down!”—all of which Wolf ignored as though suddenly deaf. Lacey froze in her tracks, and Clay grabbed on to the leash, as well. Bobby’s heart kicked into overdrive, and he gripped Mackenzie’s shoulder and pulled her toward him and away from the dog.

  “Uh.” Lacey’s smile was nervous now. “This must be the infamous Wolf.”

  Susan looked at Clay. “See what I mean?” she asked, bobbing around as she tried to hang on to the leash while Wolf snarled, baring his huge, pointed teeth. Even though Bobby’s hand was on Mackenzie’s shoulder, he could feel her heart pounding beneath his fingers.

  Clay nodded. “It’s very interesting,” he said, scratching his chin with his free hand as if trying to solve a puzzle.

  “I think I’ll go inside,” Lacey said, taking a slow step backward.

  “You look like my friend he attacked,” Susan said. “She had red hair, too.”

  “Dogs can’t see color,” Lacey said.

  “Well, they can’t differentiate between red and other colors,” Clay said, “but it’s obvious that Wolf feels threatened by you, for whatever reason. It’s great we’ll have a threatening person right here to help me desensitize him when I get to that point.”

  “Oh, wonderful.” Lacey’s sarcasm was unmasked. “So pleased I can help.”

  Wolf was settling down again. He looked worn-out from his explosion of aggression, but a low growl still rumbled deep in his throat.

  They all turned at the slamming of a car door and saw Gina reach into the the van to release Rani from her car seat.

  “Tell her not to come out here, okay, Lacey?” Clay asked.

  Lacey nodded. With one final glance at the dog, she walked slowly toward the house, catching up with Gina near the side porch, talking with her a moment as she took a bag of groceries from her arms. Bobby saw Gina quickly grab Rani’s hand and look in their direction.

  Clay turned to wave at his wife and daughter. The sunlight caught him full in the eyes, which looked like the palest blue glass. Like clear, seawater marbles. Bobby stared at his eyes, transfixed. Suddenly he realized why Clay had looked familiar to him. He knew those eyes, and he knew exactly where he’d seen them before. You did not forget eyes like those.

  CHAPTER 34

  The woods surrounding Rick’s cottage were thick with the sound of cicadas as Lacey opened her car door. She slipped on her sandals before getting out of the car; she had learned the hard way that walking through these woods barefoot could be painful. The last time she’d tried it, she’d stepped on a sandspur.

  She could smell the onions on the sandwiches she’d brought with her, even though they were wrapped in paper and inside a brown bag. She carried them the short distance to the cottage, climbed the two steps to the deck and peered through the screen door. Rick was working at the computer in the corner of the minuscule living room, and she hoped he wouldn’t mind being interrupted.

  “Hello!” she called through the screen.

  He twisted in his chair to look at her, breaking into a smile, and she knew right then that he would never mind being interrupted by her.

  “Surprise!” she said, pulling open the door. “I hope you haven’t had lunch yet.” When he was working, he sometimes forgot to eat.

  He hit a couple of buttons on his keyboard and stood up. “No, and I’m starving, now that you mention it.” He looked freshly scrubbed, as he always did. “This is so sweet of you.” He moved forward and kissed her on the lips.

  It was sweet of her. She was still not certain she believed Bobby’s explanation of his liaison with the woman in the parking lot, but nevertheless, witnessing that event reinforced her belief that she should focus her attention on Rick.

  “You sit, and I’ll wait on you.” She pulled out a chair for him at the doll-size kitchen table. He sat down, grinning at her as she opened one of the kitchen cabinets, then another, in search of plates.

  “I forgot to get us something to drink,” she said. “Do you have anything?”

  “Root beer,” he said. “Wine. OJ. Water. Take your pick.”

  She took two plates from the cupboard, then opened the refrigerator to find a six-pack of root beer, three bottles of wine, a carton of orange juice and two large bottles of water. There was little else on the shelves. “Which would you like?” she asked.

  “I’ll take a root beer,” he said.

  She poured one for him and another for herself. “Was it weird having wine in the house when Bobby was here?” she asked as she set the glasses on the table.

  “What do you mean?” His big eyes and long lashes made him look completely guileless.

  “You know,” she said, shrugging. “A recovering alcoholic.”

  “If you mean, did I find wine missing while he was here, the answer is no. Not that I paid attention, but I think I would have noticed.”

  She sat down at the table, the plates in her hands. “I’m a bit paranoid about him,” she said.

  “Well, I can understand that, but I think he’s okay.”

  “He told me the blond woman is from AA.”

  “She probably is,” Rick said.

  Lacey unwrapped the sandwiches and transferred them to the plates.

  “Onions,” he said, breathing in the scent of the sub on his plate. “I hope you have them on yours, too.”

  “I do.” She smiled but looked away in discomfort. Was he implying that they would be kissing later? Maybe something heavier than kissing? Did he think that her showing up like this meant she was ready for more? She was not.

  “I can’t stay long,” she said, tucking a loose piece of tomato back inside her sandwich. “I just came from the animal hospital and after lunch I’m going to the studio to get some work done. I haven’t been there enough. Tom’s getting on my case.” Tom was a bit annoyed with her. They were supposed to take turns with the less artistic duties of running the studio, but he’d been managing all the sales and administrative tasks lately. She’d been working on her stained glass at the keeper’s house in the afternoons, not sure if it was because she wanted to keep an eye on Bobby or she wanted the closeness to him—or both.

  Rick swallowed a bite of his sandwich and took a sip of root beer. “So,” he said, “how are things going with the little rebel in your house?”

  “Better.” A smile came to her lips, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

  She shrugged. “We’re just doing better.” The feelings she’d experienced a few nights ago in Mackenzie’s bedroom were only growing. She’d feared Mackenzie would withdraw from her again once morning came, that she would be embarrassed at how she had reached out to someo
ne she’d previously disdained, but that had not happened.

  “Do I detect a change of heart here?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I think so. On both our parts.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, Lacey,” he said. “I know it’s been hard on you.”

  “I’m sure I still have some hard times ahead, but we’re making progress.” She took a bite of her sub. They ate for a moment without conversation, and Lacey grew uncomfortable in the silence. What did she really have in common with this guy, except that he treated her well and she wanted to be treated well? Was that enough?

  “You should see the dog Clay’s working with,” she said. She told him the story of Wolf’s transformation from easygoing search-and-rescue dog to unpredictable monster. “I have to say, he scares the daylights out of me. I have to pass the kennel when I walk from the car to the house, and he lunges at the fence to try to get to me.”

  “Is the kennel secure?” Rick asked.

  “Very. I mean, I know he can’t get to me, but it freaks me out all the same. And I seem to be the only person at the house he reacts that way to. Clay’s thrilled. He says he’ll know he’s succeeded when the dog no longer wants to attack me.”

  “Oh, great,” Rick said.

  “Gina is angry about it.” Lacey knew she was blathering, but she felt a need to fill the silence. “She doesn’t think we should have a dog like that living so near children, and I think she’s right.”

  Gina and Clay had argued about it over breakfast that morning. It was the first time she’d heard harsh words between the two of them, and it had upset her. “Give me a couple of weeks with him,” Clay had said. “It’s impossible for him to get out of the kennel, and if I’m ever working with him off-lead, I’ll be sure to let you know so that you and Rani are inside.”

  Gina had finally acquiesced, but Lacey knew she wasn’t happy about it. Gina had encouraged Clay to get back into dog training, knowing the passion he felt for it could only do him good, so it seemed fitting that Clay should listen to her when she expressed consternation. Or maybe it was Lacey’s own unspoken apprehension about Wolf that was making her want Gina to win the argument. She did not like that dog, no matter how skilled he had once been at search and rescue.