by V. Domino
“Why do you have to go?’’ I ask.
He shakes his head. “I have to surrender to them before they come here. They know where I live, and it won’t be long when they get here and hurt you and our family.’’
I feel all my breath evaporating in thin air. Fear grips me tightly by my throat. I can’t lose him again. I have lost him twice and every day passed like a torture. It was a living hell and I never want to go back there.
“You don’t have to. We can leave before they arrive. W-we can go somewhere else,’’ I stutter with anxiety. He can’t leave me and our son…especially our child who was yet to be born.
He leans my head back to meet his eyes, begging me to understand his situation. “прекрасный, I know you don’t want this and neither do I. But I won’t let them hurt you or our son. You two are all I have. I would happily sacrifice myself to make sure you two are safe.’’
I shake my head vigorously as fresh new tears stream down. “Perses, please…Don’t go. I beg you, please. I can’t lose you again…I won’t be able to survive.’’
He presses his forehead against mine letting out a tired sigh. “I’m so sorry, прекрасный. But I have no other choice.’’
My heart crumples from his words. But this time, I had to make a serious decision. I had to give him and ultima. It wasn’t just about me anymore; it was about our family now.
“You have now. And you have to choose wisely. It’s either us or your past because if you walk out of that door tomorrow, I will absolutely shut myself off. Nothing in the future will change that. If you walk away, then you will be taking me along with you in that dark world. The choice is yours now, Perses.’’
“I can’t choose, Hope. You have to understand this isn’t easy for me.’’
I shake my head. “You aren’t understanding how difficult it is for me. I raised our son without you, but I won’t go through that solace again with your future child.’’
He leans back with wide eyes and confusion written all over his face. “What do you mean?’’
I imagined this moment to be different. I pictured it to be under the Christmas tree and I would be sharing this news to him. In my scenario he would be surprised but in seconds he would have an ecstatic smile on his face as he kisses me telling me how much he loves me and how happy he is about the news.
I certainly didn’t imagine this to be scenario when I was finally going to tell him the news.
“I’m pregnant.’’
I’m pregnant.
Her words were still ringing in my ear, reminding me of last night again and again. Hope was pregnant with my child. Any normal husband would be joyous with that news but me?
I remained silent when she revealed her secret. For the past few days, I knew something was bothering her, but I wasn’t expecting this to be the reason. She gave me a dilemma last night and I was aware she meant each and every word. And yet here I was packing my bag, about to leave my family…leave her.
Nothing felt right. Nothing made sense anymore.
I missed my son’s birth and his upbringing because of my past. And today, history was repeating itself. I was going to miss my unborn child’s birth. Fuck. I don’t know if it’s a he or she.
But deep down I hope it’s a girl. A beautiful angel who would be the reflection of her mother. Beautiful. Innocent. Pure. She will be a new hope. But I wouldn’t be a part of her life.
Zipping my bag, which was all for the act before my son and mother-in-law, I stalk out of the bedroom. When I woke up, Hope was nowhere to be found. She was ignoring me, and I don’t blame her for it. Her life has never been the same after I came in her life. I swore to her that I would never let her go through the pain we did years ago, but it was another promise I had to break to keep her safe.
My son was playing outside and my mother-in-law went to her floral shop. As I stood at the porch, Hope’s car pulled up and she walked out looking so detached. My heart pounded against my chest. Letting out a deep breath, I kneeled in front of my son who was busy with his favorite action figures. I touched his head getting his attention.
“Dad has to go now, buddy,’’ I whisper through my clogged throat.
He offered me his gentle smile that I was undeserving of before wrapping his little arms around me. “When will you be back, Dad?’’
“I don’t know, buddy. Hopefully soon.’’
“But Christmas is tomorrow,’’ he whines.
“I know, buddy. I-I will try…’’
Hope stands beside us, crossing her arms as her eyes looked everywhere else except on me. Herold’s hold tightens around me with his face burying on my neck.
“Do you want me to bring something for you? A Christmas gift?’’ I ask him. I could ask Antonio later to send him a gift.
He shakes his head. “No, Dad, just come back quickly. I want to spend Christmas with you. And you promised to make a snowman with me.’’
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. I kiss his temple as he returns it by kissing my cheek. “I love you, Dad.’’
“I love you, too, son.’’ My voice trembles but I try to compose myself. Standing up I face Hope whose eyes are casted down.
“Hope…’’ my words trailed off. What was I supposed to say? Sorry?
I have said sorry uncountable times because of my past that they barely hold any true meaning to it.
“Just go,’’ she whispers and picks up Herold balancing him on her hips.
I lean forward and kiss her lips, savoring her sweet taste one last time perhaps. She kisses me back as if she has the same purpose as mine.
I press my forehead against her. “I love you, прекрасный. I always will till my last minute on earth,’’ I whisper.
“I love you, too but if you loved me, you would have chosen me.’’
I give it all to control my emotions. I was on the verge of dropping my plans and not leaving Hope ever again. But this was the only way. I had to surrender myself to them. Without any further words, I get in my car and drive off until the sight of my wife and son is no longer seen on the rereview mirror.
Throughout the whole drive the picture of Hope standing like a cold, emotionless woman with our son flashes in front of me. By the time I reach the river side to dispose the body of the fucker, her image doesn’t leave my sight.
Why couldn’t there be some other way?
Why did my past had to haunt my present again?
I take out the bag and drag it towards the river. As I am about to throw the bag, my pace halts as a plan dawns on my mind. He said that nobody has got the confirmation about my location yet, some of them have a hunch but they aren’t sure. Setting the bag on the ground, I quickly retrieve my phone and call Maxwell.
“Perses,’’ he answers in his gruff voice.
“Where are you now?’’ I get straight to the point.
“Currently in Italy, but I will be flying to the territory by tomorrow. Why do you ask?’’
“I want to get a confirmation from you.’’
“About what?’’
“I want to know if my location is confirmed in the territory.’’
There is silence for a few seconds before he lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m currently in a funeral and I cannot leave right away. You know well, I need to be there. Your people have been going crazy the day they got the news you are alive. They have been looking for you everywhere after what you did–’’
“Maxwell, you have to do this because I left my wife and son. Again. I promised her my past won’t stain our future anymore. I can’t fail her again and I don’t want to lose her either. You have to do this for Hope.’’
Maxwell met Hope when I was with her. He was using her to get revenge from me but at the end he did something I never expected from him. And deep down I knew it was for Hope. He did had feelings for her, in his own fucked up way he adored her.
This time he knew it wasn’t just about me. It was about her as well.
He lets o
ut a deep breath, cursing under his breath. “Fuck…fine. Wait for few hours and I will send you the confirmation. But remember I’m doing this for Hope, and you owe me for this.’’
“Okay. For Hope.’’
“When is your flight?’’ he asks.
“In three hours.’’
“Don’t get on the plane yet. Let me get the confirmation first. Has anyone come after you?’’
I rake a hand through my tousled hair. “Yeah and I’m currently getting rid of his body.’’
“And has he sent out any information to the territory after he attacked you?’’
“No. I held him hostage and got out every information I could before I smashed his skull.’’
He snickers. “You may have left your dark past years ago, but that dark nature will always rush in your blood, Perses.’’
I clenched my fists, feeling frustrated with the obvious truth that I always tried to avoid. But there was still and unknown chance of avoiding my past. A chance I was unsure of but yet I was willing to risk everything just to return home to my Hope.
Don’t give up on me, Hope.
Please wait.
Please have faith.
The minute his car left the driveway, I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. They streamed down my face when I feel tiny hands wiping them off.
“Why are you crying, Mommy?’’ Herold asks. His brows furrowed with worry in his eyes.
God. I shouldn’t have cried in front of my son. What was I thinking?
I was breaking apart already.
I shake my head with a half-hearted smile. “Just missing your dad already.’’
“Dad will be back soon, Mommy. He promised.’’
He won’t, my son. He won’t.
I nod my response before we head back inside. I already started to feel suffocated in the house. Everything felt congested…a burden. The day merely just began, and my life was already shattering. I head to my bedroom and retire for the rest of the day.
He chose his past over me.
He isn’t coming back. Not coming back.
With those last thoughts I drifted to sleep while sobbing for my aching heart that no longer existed.
I jolted awake when I felt someone shaking my shoulder gently. My mother was sitting beside me.
“Hope. Wake up, dear. Its nighttime,’’ she whispers, tucking a lose strand of my hair behind my ear.
Night? How long was I asleep?
“I came early and fed Herold. He is waiting for you.’’
Thankfully because of no lights being turned on in my room yet, Mother couldn’t see my bloodshot eyes.
“For what?’’
“You said you will take him to see the giant Christmas tree the mayor setup. The midnight event for Christmas.’’
Shit. I forgot about that.
“Yeah. I will be ready in five minutes.’’
“Hope? Is everything alright? You don’t sound so well.’’
I wave off my hand. “It’s nothing, Mother. I just had a migraine and now I’m feeling better.’’
She nods. “I will be at Mrs. Wilson’s house for their function.’’
“Of course. I will text you when we get back.’’
Before she could ask me anything else, I head to the bathroom. I spend more than five minutes getting my composure together. Eventually, my mother and my son will know about Perses’s disappearance. But I was not ready to disclose the secret today.
Changing into more comfortable clothes, I apply a bit makeup to mask my sadness before leaving the bedroom. Herold was already wearing his cute little black jacket and pants that Perses got him.
He may have left us, but every inch of this house is filled with his memories.
“Let’s go, buddy,’’ I mutter to my son with a forced smile. He takes my hand as we head to the car and drive off to our destination.
Many people from the town have already arrived, surrounding the vast, decorated Christmas tree. Parking the car, I help Herold get out of the car and take his hand, making our way through the crowd. Some of the kid’s parents who attend my dance classes come and talk with me for a while. Herold kept himself busy by talking and playing around with his school friends. I’m talking but inside I’m curled up in a ball dealing with my shattered heart.
Opting to take pictures of my son as he plays around, I search for my purse. But it’s not there. Realizing it must be in the car. I head back. And luckily find my phone before rejoining the crowd.
But when I see my son, smiling brightly while being balanced on someone’s arm, my heart starts to pound with worry. As if feeling my eyes on him, my son’s gaze shifts on me making him beam further. He tells the man something and both of them face me.
The sight that greets me makes my whole world around me stop.
Perses.
Before I know it, I rush towards him before he vanishes again. He opens his free arm and engulfs me with his face burying in my hair. His musky scent brings back the peace that he took away with him when he drove off. His strong arms make me feel secure and safe again. His presence brings me back home.
He is my home.
“You are back,’’ I whisper against his chest as his hold tightens around me.
“Mommy! See? I told you Dad will be back soon,’’ Herold exclaims with joy oozing out of his tone as he wraps his arms around his father.
“Yes, he is.’’ I smile while shedding tears of joy, before doubt settles back again.
“But you left and said there is no other way…’’
He smiles and kisses my forehead. “How could I leave when my heart only belongs to you? I left because I knew it was the only way to save you, but I was destroying you by leaving you alone again. I couldn’t bear it anymore,’’ he whispers to my ear, keeping Herold out of the conversation.
“I made few calls and got to know nobody passed the confirmation of my location. And as long as it wasn’t confirmed then nobody would come and hunt me down. Eventually, they will give up the search and move on.’’
I lean back looking at his eyes. “So, you mean…you won’t leave us again?’’
He shakes his head. “Never. And even if they find me, I still won’t leave you, прекрасный. I will give it all to protect you and our family.’’
He isn’t leaving us…he isn’t leaving me anymore.
“I’m so sorry for hurting you, прекрасный.’’
“It’s okay. I forgive you. I always will.’’
Perses leans his forehead against mine while my hands cup his jaw. “As long as we are together, I’m yours and you are mine,’’ he mutters his promise that he made years ago when we were strangers.
I lean forward and kiss him with passion, relishing his touch…his sensation.
“I love you so much,’’ he mutters.
“I love you, too, Perses.’’
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the count down before midnight strikes! Let’s begin!’’ the announcer speaks through the microphone.
“Dad! Mommy! It’s time!’’
The three of us turn and face the giant Christmas tree with everyone counting down from ten to one. Herold follows their pace with his excitement rising more when he gets close to one.
“Three. Two. One! Merry Christmas!’’ everyone shouted out loud with joy and elation.
Perses kisses Herold’s cheek who squeals in returns. I kiss my boy on his other cheek, laughing out loud.
Eventually, Perses turns to me with his wicked smile before planting a gentle kiss on my lips. “Merry Christmas, прекрасный.’’
I giggle against his lips. “Merry Christmas.’’
We watch the fireworks lighting up the whole sky. Herold rested his head against his father’s shoulder while I had one arm wrapped around my husband and the other placed on my stomach where our new future was growing. Perses placed his hand over mine as his eyes shine with contentment.
This is what peace feels like. This
is what being in love is meant to be.
One thing I was sure of, from here onwards, whatever comes in our life I will have Perses on my side no matter what. We will always find our way back to each other.
We will always be together till our last breath.
After all, we belong together.
THE END
Thank you so much for reading the story and having me as part of the Omerta Anthology, truly honored. A big thank you to Bree Porter and V. Domino for making me a part of the Omerta family. It’s truly been a fun and exciting journey.
Thank you so much to our PR, Julie Anfolisi. You truly are the best and your support means so much to us.
Thank you, my readers, because you guys are my biggest encouragement. Without your love and support I would never have stepped into the writing world. Thank you for always loving my characters and showing your support towards my books.
Thank you to my mom, dad and my brother for supporting me as always. I love you all from the bottom of my heart, I know I don’t say it enough but when I do say it, I mean it from my heart.
I really hope that you guys loved the story of Hope and Perses. Thank you so much for reading it.
Love you guys!
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THE BOSS
NIGHTS IN THE CITY
A MATCH GAME
ROYAL PROTECTION
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SHANJIDA’S DARK PARADISE
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