by V. Domino
“Thank you. Can I get you something?” she asked.
If this was any other day I would’ve told her I wanted her spread against the bar as I worked myself inside of her. Instead, I answered differently
. “A whiskey on the rocks,” I said with a wide grin and she turned. I couldn’t help, but stare at her ass which was just the right size.
Get it together Jax. You are not here for that.
If I didn’t have business that needed to be handled or if I wasn’t trying to win Mia back, I would’ve given her what she seemed so interested in getting.
She bent down and slowly got back up with the bottle of whiskey. I watched her milky arm as she got a small glass and put ice in it before pouring the whiskey.
A smirk came across her face as she caught my eye and placed her arms on the bar allowing me to smell a scent of cinnamon and something else I couldn’t place. Kind of like pie.
She slowly slid the glass to me and I quickly drunk it and then placed the glass back down on the counter.
“Wanna call Julio for me doll?” I asked sweetly, but my tone dangerously low.
She smiled again at that and I found myself intrigued just a little about what was going on in that pretty red head of hers.
Julio was taking his time coming from the back, but I knew he was here as his car was parked out front.
He finally came out his hair disheveled, his pale blue eyes shifting between me and Carla. My jaw strained as I was ready to let him have it.
“Carla, give me a gin and tonic, please?” he said quietly before sitting down next to me.
Carla passed him the drink and he drunk It quickly. Finally, he spoke to me his voice wavering.
“Hey Jax! What brings you here?” he said.
“What has been going in with the books? Why is there money missing?” I asked him.
The question hung in the air and I could see Carla holding her breath, realizing that this situation could get worse than she had originally thought.
I sure as fuck wasn’t leaving until I knew what had happened.
“I’m sorry man. I had to pay off some debts from other people.”
I stood up then and grabbed him by the collar.
The veins pipped in the side of my face and I pressed his body against the bar. “Excuse me? You are taking my money from my bar for personal debts. Does this place look like a bank to you? Does it look like a personal loan factory?” I yelled.
“No. No, sir.”
“So, explain!”
“I screwed up Jax. But, I promise I will get it all straightened out. No harm. No foul, right?” he said, trying to smile, but the expression on my face stops him from doing so.
“No harm. No foul? Are you serious?
“I’m sorry Jax. I’m sorry.”
“Do you remember whose town this? Do you know whose bar is this?”
“Yes. Yes, sir. Yours!”
“You have family, right? A wife? A sister? A daughter?” I asked menacingly.
Julio was quiet for a moment. “Uh… yes. Yes, I do.”
“Now, I know I promised your uncle that I would do a favor, but this favor doesn’t include stealing from me. I expect loyalty from you. Loyalty!” I yelled.
“I had a long day and now an even longer night because you thought the correct thing to do is to take money from my business.
“Sure, you could use the Amaros for business, but then that means you went against the agreement with my family. And Messina’s don’t take kindly to disloyalty. Catch my drift. My dad can be pretty ruthless, but I’m worse. Much worse! There is a reason we are respected. There is a reason we put the fear of God in men! And you are taking that for a joke.”
“No. No, I’m not,” Julio stammered.
“I would hate to remind you just how deadly we can be. It would be a shame really. A shame to have to show you how things work around here. How old is Rebecca again? 18 right? It would be a shame if her life would suddenly have to end.”
Julio froze at that, his eyes wide with fear. His daughter was his joy and while I would never actually hurt any woman, he didn’t need to know that. I had a reputation to protect and a business to run.
He cleared his throat to speak, but I had enough. I raised my hand to stop him from saying anything else.
I grabbed him by the collar, my other hand grabbing his hair with the other.
“Let’s be very clear, my father is the only reason that you’re here. So, I’ll give you a warning. This is out of respect for your uncle and my father’s friendship. Since I rather not sever ties in this manner, I will not react to this disrespect just yet. However, if you ever do this again. If you ever do this again, I can guarantee, the next time your family will see you, you’ll be in a body bag. You have seven days to return every single penny or I swear the next time your family will see you, it’ll be at your funeral.” I said next to his ear.
“Yes. Yes, sir,” he stuttered and I let him go.
Carla no longer looked interested as her eyes widen in fear. However, that wasn’t my concern. Now, she was well aware if she tried any bullshit with me as well. I had to let people know why I was considered the most dangerous in my family and stuff like this wasn’t part of what I considered my routine.
I touched my tie again as I did it when I needed to calm myself down.
“Seven days,” I repeated before turning to walk out of the bar and head home.
I had to get back home to check on Mia. She has grown more beautiful since the last time I’ve seen her. Sure, sometimes I would check out her social media from a burner account, but she rarely posted. The few pictures that she did post, she always seemed so happy. Happy that I wasn’t in her life anymore. Unless she was pretending.
Her brown skin glowed and she had gotten curvier since the last time I’ve seen her. Her hair was more in its natural state, curly, but kind of wild and free. I loved it.
Even though she was pissed off at me for bringing her to me in that manner, I missed her. Missed the fuck out of her. Missed how she felt in my arms. Missed how angry she would get with my dealings. Missed hearing her voice as I made her come. But for right now, most of all I missed watching her sleep because she always seemed so peaceful when she slept. It was something I lacked. Peace!
Jax had gotten me up early saying he wanted me to handle some business with him. I wanted to debate him about it as I still didn’t understand this urgency to take me from a bar and have me brought to his massive house, but I waited. I still was processing how good he had looked. Still processing how he had my heart spiraling into so many emotions at once.
The car we were in pulled in front of the house and my heart felt heavy. I haven’t felt this much sadness in such a long time. Sure, I would think about him often. Think about my sweet Micah, who lost his life much too soon, but being here in front of the place where he lost his life, made my skin crawl.
This house used to be a favorite place of mine. My peace. My sanctuary. My home away from home until it wasn’t. All of the good memories seemed like yesterday and forever ago at the same time. Too many of them, both good and bad that left me feeling conflicted and nostalgic.
Jax had 3 bodyguards and they had arrived a few seconds before us. He had them ride separately to give us privacy, but it made me feel watched. I didn’t know how he could always have them around him, though I understood it was because of the life that he led.
It was chilly and I pulled my pea coat tighter around my neck as if it would take the chill out of my bones. Quickly, I closed my eyes and whispered a silent prayer that I could go inside without breaking down and crying. It was hard when this was the same place that took something very near and dear away from me. My stomach felt tight, but no matter how bad being here made me feel, I knew one thing. I would not cry in front of Jax. He didn’t deserve that part of me anymore. He was lucky that I even stayed here and didn’t take my chances with whatever bullshit he got himself into this time.
Jax made his
way around me so he could open the door with the old key he kept on a separate key chain. It was the same one that his grandmother used to open the door with before. There was silence as we both walked inside. I could smell all the fresh baked cookies his grandmother used to make. I could hear the sound of the video games that we used to play or when we were called ourselves playing hide and seek.
I could remember having my first kiss in this house. A kiss that Jax stole from me after listening to Nirvana on the record player in the attic. He was so young and awkward. We both were, but then he changed. His family changed him. This whole lifestyle that he thrived in changed him to be a cold, callous and sometimes sadistic man. A man that wasn’t the boy with the messy hair and a kind smile.
Walking over to the mantel on over the fireplace, I picked up the picture frame that had me, Jax and Micah in the front. Matthew, Jax’s older brother was there too. He also died because of the long history between their family and the Russos. Micah was just an extra causality.
“What are we doing here?” I asked finally deciding to break the silence that threatened to tear me apart.
“There are some papers, I needed to get and some photos,” he replied running his hand through his hair.
“And you need me for that?”
“Of course. This place has a special place for me, for you, for us!”
“None of that matters now.”
“Why wouldn’t it matter?”
“That was a lifetime ago. We were young. Naïve. At least I was. Young, dumb and naïve. Foolish even. I’m not that person anymore Jax. I can’t be that pathetic girl that was hoping you gave this life up and run away with me.”
A big part of me wanted to go on a little rant, but I didn’t think that would help any of the situation in any capacity.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked him.
He turned to me, his hazel eyes towards mine and for a moment, I was lost in his eyes. I forgot what I was about to say and then he smiled at that.
“Cat’s got your tongue?” he asked me.
Shaking my head, I chuckled a little. “No, just lost my train of thought for a moment. What’s really going on? If my association to you is an issue, why am I just now hearing about it now? What’s so special about me now when I wasn’t on anyone’s radar before?” I asked him.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Very few people knew how much you meant to me, but recently your name came up in some dealings and as I don’t have the best record when it comes to living a peaceful life, I wanted to be safe. There were some rumblings that someone would try to hurt you. I can’t have that happen,” he replied.
Jax looked at his phone quickly, before glancing back at me. “I know this isn’t ideal. None of this is. I could’ve hired protection for you, but I feel I know you well enough that you would make it your business to ditch them. So, I gave you the best option. Me!”
I rolled my eyes at that. “You’re the best option?”
He laughed hard at that and shook his head. “Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking, though I’m the best option in all aspects.”
“If you say so,” I replied.
He said nothing after that and I was grateful for the momentary silence that filled the room. I couldn’t deal with any more of these weird feelings that being here and being near Jax had dredged up. It wasn’t good for my heart or my emotions.
“The boxes are upstairs,” he said before heading up the spiraling steps. Taking my coat off, I threw it on the couch and I followed him up the stairs. The walls were lined with pictures of Jax’s family and then some pictures of me, him and Micah when we were kids. Back when things were easy and before my heart was shattered into pieces.
I sat down on the bed and started going through boxes. There were many, and I had no idea what Jax wanted me to look for. As if he knew what I was thinking he spoke.
“Just look for folders with random numbers on them and pull them out,” he said.
“Okay, I said.
And so I started to look. Trying to find the files he told me to find. I seemed to be looking through the boxes for about an hour and then I came across a photo album. I opened the black leather book and started to turn the pages. The first few pics had several pages of Jax when he was little. There were even some where he wore a kilt. It was the cutest thing.
Flipping the pages some more, I saw some pictures of me and Micah laughing. Pictures of Jax and me hugging each other tightly. My hand went to my chest as I remembered all those good memories that we shared once upon a time.
However, as I watched him move around boxes, it was hard for me to forget how his hands felt whenever he held me. Or when his hands would touch and squeeze my breasts.
All of those images that now played out in my head made it damn near impossible to forget all of those times he bent me over and fucked me into an oblivion. I hated to admit it that even when I was angry with him over the years, I found it myself having these fantasies staring him where he would do so much more and I let him. I hated that he was the only guy who could get me off the way I needed.
Being here with him was different though. It was more dangerous and the way he looked with his white buttoned up shirt, sleeves rolled up and black dress pants that showed his bulge made me feel slightly faint. All of a sudden, I felt much too hot. He could be carrying those boxes completely naked and I wouldn’t even care if he knew I was checking him out.
The expression on his face was distracted, but casual as he went through the box taking things out. I caught a glance at the tattoo on his arm. An eagle with its wings spread out.
His hair was messy, and I found myself fantasizing. He turned and his gaze met his eye and quickly I went back looking at the photos in the box that I had.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” he asked.
“Nothing. Nothing important,” I lied.
“It doesn’t seem that way. You have this far away expression where you squint your eyes a bit when you are thinking about something.” He chuckled.
“Not a big deal,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Still difficult as always huh?”
“I’m not being difficult.”
“You are acting so strange and distant. Why?”
“Why? Is that a serious question? Why do you think?” I replied, my brow furrowing.
“I don’t know Mia. You have always been a bit complicated to read,” he said with a small shrug of his shoulders.
“Here we go. I’m not difficult. I just got tired of the crap that comes with being in any kind of relationship with Jackson Messina. That relationship costed me my best friend.”
“You think I don’t think about that every single day. He was taken from both of us Mia!” he said, his voice rising with indignation.
“It’s not the same and you know it. He was my brother. My blood brother and your stupid life took him from me. He was innocent in all of this.”
“Not as innocent as you think.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning exactly that. No, he wasn’t involved with my family dealings like I was, but my dad saw him like a son and because of that Micah wanted to do little things. I knew it would hurt you and I tried to stop him from getting involved, but he didn’t listen.”
“Stop that Jax! Why are you lying?”
“For fuck sakes I’ve never lied to you Mia. I’m serious. He would do small enforcing jobs for my dad. Never anything too serious. Except the day he died, I was supposed to be there. Not him. That bullet was meant for me. I regret that every single day. I blame myself for that every single day. So, while I don’t understand from your perspective, I do understand the lost because I lost him too and that was my fault.”
Jax finished and ran his hands in his hair before standing up and walking to the window of the bedroom.
Some many thoughts ran through my head. Why hadn’t Micah told me? Why didn’t Jax tell me before?
No, I haven’t. I used to tell you all the tim
e how I was feeling about things. That’s all I ever did. Explain and profess my feelings, adoration and love.
“Is that so?” he asked.
I hated how he studied me. His gaze was intense and his eyes gleamed with something I couldn’t place. Almost as if he was trying to gather information from the expressions on my face. He comes closer to me now and my heart started to beat wildly in my chest. I could feel tears threatening to build up
There was this heavy feeling in my stomach. Dread..? No anticipation. I didn’t know what he would do. I didn’t know how I react. Mostly, how my body would react.
Taking his thumb, he wiped away the tear that had finally fallen before it smeared against my cheek. He looks at me for a moment and then stepped back.
“Do you plan to tell me?”
“You make me feel uneasy. Actually, you make me feel all of these feelings. I don’t like that. You’re not good for me.”
A gleam entered his eyes and I stepped away from him. I needed space. Air. Something!
“Where are you going love bug?” he asked, his tone serious as he followed me.
“I need you to stay right there,” I replied, though not sounding really convincing.
“What if I don’t want to?” he asked cunningly with a small smirk on his face.
“Well, you need to want to. This isn’t the time or place for any of this. Aren’t we just finding things for you to remove from this house for whatever reason?”
“Love bug, you always had a habit of being at the wrong place at the time.”
“This isn’t one of those times Jax. You brought me here remember? This isn’t a game.”
“I never said it was.”
As I found myself with my back pinned against the wall, he came towards me until he stood close it was almost as if we were one. I wanted to slide from underneath his intense gaze, but as if he already knew my intentions, he pressed his hands on the wall making it impossible for me to escape.
He was sweaty and his hair fell a bit in front of his eyes and I thought for one quick second how much I wanted to run my hands through his hair.
Grabbing my hair, he pulled me closer and I could feel the heat from his mouth against my neck. For a moment I thought what if I would allow him to plunder his tongue into me and how pleasurable that would be. But, I was still mad at him. No matter how good he looked standing in front of me breathing like a mad man, I would not give in to him. Though I had no idea how long my resolve would last.