by Katee Robert
He carefully set the papers on the bed beside him and dropped his head into his hands. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
19
Chelsea ignored the ringing of her phone and burrowed her head deeper into her pillows. Whoever was calling wasn’t giving up, though. After a few seconds of blessed silence, it started up again. She sighed and rolled over, opening her eyes to the faded light of the late afternoon.
Yesterday had been full of wine and Danielle and ugly crying while she tried to remind herself this was what she wanted. She vaguely remembered sobbing her eyes out and confessing everything to her best friend somewhere around one in the morning, but Chelsea hoped that was at least a slight exaggeration. Her phone trilled again. It was more than apparent that whoever was on the other end had no intention of giving up. She shot upright. What if it was Nathan?
Surely that was impossible? He’d been more than clear that he had every intention of washing his hands of her. What could have changed in the last twenty- four hours to have him calling her?
Needing to know more than she needed her next breath, Chelsea scrambled for the phone and answered without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”
“What on earth are you doing that it took so long to answer?”
Fighting back a groan, she collapsed onto her bed. “Hello, Nana.” Of course it wasn’t Nathan calling. He’d said if she walked away, he was never chasing her down again, and Chelsea had never known him to bluff. He was a man of his word, and he’d all but given his word that he was finished with her.
Her heart ached at the very thought. “Is there a man there?”
“What? No. Of course not.” Though she couldn’t help but remember what it was like sleeping next to Nathan. When he put his arms around her, she’d been at peace, but that peace—and her sanity—were both gone. “How are you?”
Her grandmother tsked. “You’re going to end up bitter and alone like your old nana if you’re not careful.”
Against all reason, Chelsea smiled.“You’re neither bitter nor alone.”
“Not for lack of trying. Have you been privy to the latest scheme your father is putting me through? He wants to use my seventy-fifth gala as a booster for his political campaign. Some things should be sacred, I tell you.”
“Nana, you and I both know you have every intention of being right there in the middle of things during the campaign. Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t think of it first.”
Her grandmother laughed. “If I had something to do with it, I’d never dream of admitting such a thing.” “I’d expect as much.” Nana liked her family to occupy their correct roles, and she had no issue shoving them into place when they weren’t moving fast enough for her tastes.
“But back to the issue at hand—how are you, darling? I haven’t heard from you in days.”
Guilt rose, threatening to choke her. Nana was the only person in her family who knew how broken up she’d been when Nathan enlisted in the Army. How could she possibly go about sharing the truth of where she’d been all weekend? Nana might understand…but what if she didn’t?
Apparently she’d been silent too long, because her grandmother made a concerned noise. “Are you ill? Did something happen?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I was at a wedding over the weekend. I must have forgotten to tell you.”
“A wedding? How delightful. Who was it who got married?”
Why hadn’t she lied? Chelsea shook her head. She’d never been able to lie to her grandmother. Nana could smell an untruth a mile off. “I’m sure you don’t know them.”
“Try me.” Some of the steel she was so known for leaked into her tone. There would be no avoiding this conversation now.
Chelsea briefly considered pretending the call dropped, but her grandmother would just call back and then she’d have to explain that.“I’m sure you don’t remember a Gabe Schultz who I knew in high school, but he just got married.” Picturing him dancing with Elle in her gorgeous white dress had a foreign emotion roiling through Chelsea. She shoved her hair out of her eyes and frowned. Surely that wasn’t jealousy? Why should she be jealous? She didn’t need a big white wedding in order to know the truth.
The truth.
The truth was that she loved Nathan and always had. It took everything she had to keep from crying yet again. In reality, nothing had changed in her day-to- day life. She would go back to taking photographs and working in her gallery, just as she had for the last four years, and then she’d come home alone. Just as she always had. The thought shouldn’t fill her with such emptiness. Hadn’t she been perfectly content before? She was living her dream, after all.
Chelsea put a hand over her mouth, hoping Nana couldn’t hear her mewl of despair. She may have been content before, but this weekend had changed everything. In just a few days, Nathan had brought back all the memories she’d fought so hard to escape and given her a whole spectrum of new ones.
He’d gone and ruined her.
Oblivious to Chelsea’s spiraling, Nana said, “Schultz… He’s the boy who opened the nightclub a few years ago, isn’t he? His brother owns that wonderful gallery downtown.”
She nearly dropped her phone. “You’ve been checking up on them?”
“Of course I kept track of them over the years. You were deeply in love with the younger brother— enough to contradict your parents’ plan for you. He’d done well for himself. He created a sculpture depicting Medusa last year that was simply intoxicating.”
Her grandmother had always had a soft spot for the arts. It was why she stood up for Chelsea eight years ago and offered her a chance to pursue her photography. But supporting the arts and spending time in Nathan’s gallery were two different things. “You’ve seen Nathan?”
“If you’d been home in the last few years, you would know that I have several of his pieces in the house, though I can’t say I’ve talked to the boy personally.”
“Nana…” What could she say? The artist her grandmother so admired was Chelsea’s husband—and had been for eight years? Or that she wasn’t sure she wanted a divorce now, despite the high-handed way he’d gone about things? Chelsea cleared her throat.
“I’ll have to visit it someday.”
“Yes, granddaughter, you most definitely should.” As simple as that, the subject was closed and her grandmother moved on. “With the party next week, I expect you’ll be coming into town by Wednesday.”
It only gave Chelsea another day or two to come to terms with what had happened before she was forced to drive through their old stomping grounds. If she was very careful, she might be able to avoid any places that could accidentally remind her of everything she’d lost.
Sweat poured off Nathan as he maneuvered the welding torch around the feathers. This part was the most difficult, because if he put on too much heat, it would destroy the individual textures and leave a giant melted mess in its place.With his current mood, he was half tempted to say fuck it and just do that.
But that would mean admitting his entire world had shattered. Again.
He should have seen it coming. That was the one thing he kept circling back to. But how could he? She’d gone from considering giving them a chance to never wanting to see him again in the space of a few sentences. How was he supposed to fight for her when she wouldn’t meet him halfway?
Short answer—he wasn’t. She didn’t want him to. Securing the last row of feathers in place, he shut down the torch and shoved off his mask. The statue wasn’t quite finished, but it was already the best work he’d done to date. Cupid lay on his back, head turned away from where Psyche crouched, but even in sleep his wings rose up around her. Protecting her.
Just like he’d wanted to do for Chelsea.
He opened the windows of his shop wider and started putting away his tools. Guess he’d been channeling some unresolved issues when he started on this piece. Things might have worked out fine in the end for Psyche and Cupid, but he didn’t see the same for Chelsea and him.
A sound made him look toward the door. Gabe leaned against the frame, a beer in each hand. “You look like you could use one of these.”
“Thanks.” Nathan walked over and accepted it. “What are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d drop by and make sure you weren’t wasting away.” He sent a pointed look at the empty fifth of whiskey on the counter and the mostly complete statue. “Obviously you’ve put your energy into something useful.”
Nathan decided not to mention the fifth that had been full the day he got back from the wedding.“Work waits for no man.” Though he had half a mind to melt the statue down completely because it was a constant reminder of Chelsea. Nathan still wasn’t sure if he was completing it because of good work ethic or through sheer spite, but it didn’t matter in the long run. This piece spoke to him, and he wouldn’t be able to rest until it was out of his system.
“You figure out what you’re going to do about Chelsea?” Gabe shook his head. “I still can’t believe she’s your wife.”
Wife. No matter how many times he heard that word in reference to Chelsea, he’d never had a chance to get used to it. Now he never would. Nathan took a long pull off his bottle. “I signed the divorce papers.”
“You what?”
“She wanted a divorce. That was the reason she stayed the full weekend. So I’m going to keep my word and give her one.”
“Christ.” His brother rubbed his hand over his face. “You know, I had wondered if she was the reason you never settled down with anyone over the years.”
He’d never wanted anyone else. “Now you have your answer.”
“I knew you two were spending a lot of time together, though I never guessed you were dating, let alone married.”
“Is there a point to this? Or are you trying to torture me by talking about the past?”
Gabe gave him a dark look he probably deserved. “Shut up and listen. My point is that you two used to look at each other and seem to forget anyone else was in the room. I thought it was puppy love, but you did the same damn thing last weekend.”
“Did you miss the part where she only showed up to get a divorce?”
“No. I also didn’t miss the part where she stayed. No one can fake the way she looked at you, Nathan. Do you still love her?”
As if that were ever a question. “I’ve always loved her.”
Gabe took a step back and held the door open. “Then get off your ass and go get her.”
“I don’t think she wants me anymore.” He could admit now that he’d royally fucked up. It had never occurred to him that she wouldn’t be thrilled to have him stand up to her dad for her—or the similarities she’d draw to the last time he’d made a big decision without consulting her. She hadn’t been sure he could regain her trust after the first time. Doing it twice? The first cut might be the deepest, but the second betrayal hurt more. He’d be lucky if she didn’t call the cops on him if he showed up on her doorstep.
“Life is too short. If you love Chelsea, then fight for her. Because this weekend was the happiest I’ve ever seen you since Mom died. You can’t let that go without a fight.”
“I have been fighting for her.” There was only so much he could do, short of kidnapping. He’d already blackmailed her, for fuck’s sake.
He was so damn tired. Nathan flat out didn’t know if he had any fight left in him. Or if he should even work up the energy to try.
“Bullshit. You’ve been moping around for the last eight years, only half living.That’s not fighting, Nathan. That’s existing. This weekend was a step in the right direction, but three days doesn’t magically cancel out the past between you two. Don’t just sit on your ass and let her walk out of your life for good. Pride isn’t going to keep you warm at night.”
Nathan finished his beer and set the empty bottle on the counter. He’d already played dirty and it had blown up in his face. Did he really have it in him to go through something like that again? He closed his eyes. Who was he kidding? He might have signed the damn papers, but he didn’t want a divorce any more now than he had eight years ago.
All he wanted was Chelsea.
He glanced back at the door leading into the shop, to the statue. He knew just the person who’d be interested in buying it. Chelsea wouldn’t be happy about it, but Gabe was right. He couldn’t sit back and let this moment pass, not until he was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he and Chelsea were done.
She might have walked away from him, but they were far from over.
20
“Explain to me again why I’m here?”
Chelsea handed over a dress while her best friend changed. “Because I don’t want to be alone right now.” It didn’t matter how busy she was—she couldn’t escape the memories circling her mind. It might have been easier if they were all sexually based, but her mind would never be so forgiving. The scene that kept appearing, over and over again, was his hand in hers as they lay on the grass and stared at the stars. In that moment, she’d been close to Nathan in a way she’d never felt before, even when they were teenagers.
When had it all gotten so complicated and ugly? “When you ran like a bat out of hell after marrying him.” Danielle shook her head.
Chelsea sighed. She needed to be more careful about speaking her thoughts aloud, especially now that she was back in her family home for the weekend. “I still can’t believe you’ve been married this entire time and you didn’t say a damn thing. What’s up with that?”
“No one knew.”
“Sure, I get that. I mean, your family is even crazier than mine—and bigger. But, dude, he was your husband. That’s pretty cold to just up and walk away without saying a damn thing.”
“You don’t understand.”
Danielle pulled her dress over her head. It was navy and a bit too severe for her tan skin and dark hair, but she somehow managed to make the best of it. “Actually, I do. He was a dick when he enlisted without telling you. I’m betting that felt a whole lot like he was choosing the Army over you. It’s a sentiment I’m familiar with.”
She would be, considering her problematic relationship with her father. “I know.”
“That being said, I want you to listen for a second. I may love you enough to call in Daddy’s resources if you’re ever in trouble, but you have this nasty habit of playing the martyr. The only person who can look out for your best interest is you. Not Nathan and not your family. I know it’s a lot to wrap your head around, but think of it this way—do you love this guy? Do you want to do that whole two-point-five kids and whatever else it is married people do—get a dog or something?”
Longing hit her so hard she almost doubled over.
There was no guarantee he wouldn’t mess up again, but to have Nathan’s child… Chelsea pressed her hand against her stomach, an irrational part of her wishing she were already pregnant, so she could have a piece of him with her always. Even as the thought crossed her mind, she marveled at it. Would she really be willing to let things end with Nathan even as she considered how desperately she wanted children with him?
And she’d left him, walked away when all he’d been trying to do was prove himself. What kind of person was she that she’d basically spit in his face when he’d gone through such extreme lengths to make up for hurting her? He hadn’t done a single thing wrong at Gabe’s wedding—not really. He couldn’t have anticipated her reaction. She doubted anyone would have reacted as negatively as she had.
Oh my God.
The truth hit her hard. She’d reacted so poorly because she was still holding him accountable for the sins of an eighteen-year-old boy who, while struggling to cope with the death of his mother, made a mistake while trying to do right by the girl he loved.
Chelsea pressed a hand to her chest, feeling sick. She’d made as many unforgivable mistakes as he had, and he’d still fought for another chance with her. Because he loved her as desperately as she loved him. The difference between them was that he was willing to fight for their r
elationship, while she’d fled because of something that happened eight years ago.
No more. No more running away. Trust might not be repaired quickly, but she had to be willing to go all in to try in the first place. “I love him.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Life’s too short, Chels. So I guess you need to sit down and figure out how badly you want this guy.” Danielle winked. “Not to mention, he’s a sexy beast, and if he was down for using the stuff I packed in that care package, I say you’d better put a ring on it—again—before he gets away.”
Her hopes, high only a moment ago, drooped.“You didn’t see his face.” Even now, she could still picture the devastation in his eyes before he’d shut down all emotion. “I think he’s really finished with me this time. After everything I’ve done to him, I deserve it.”
“There you go, being the martyr again.” Danielle shook her head. “C’mon, Chels. The guy blackmailed you into a weekend of filthy, mind-blowing sex and told you he’s always loved you. You think he’s done, just like that?” Danielle made a shooing motion. “Get your ass in gear and hunt your man down.”
The words resonated with Chelsea, all the way down to her soul. Nathan was her man. She missed him so much. It hadn’t even been a week since she’d seen him last, and she felt as if she were without a limb. Chelsea had actually caught herself reaching across her empty bed, as if he would have magically appeared next to her in the intervening times.
Go get him? “I think I’m going to do just that.” “You are woman, hear you roar.” Danielle grinned.
“Wear the bronze number you’re going with tonight. He won’t know what hit him.”
Chelsea allowed herself to hope her best friend was right. She wanted Nathan’s arms around her and the future with him that had taunted her ever since she left the hotel. It would be a future in which she were truly happy instead of just merely content. “That’s a brilliant idea.”
She changed quickly, taking the time to reapply her makeup before heading to her car. Danielle would be just fine without her for a little while, and she fully intended on being back before Nana’s party tonight.