Jacob Michaels Is Not Crazy

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Jacob Michaels Is Not Crazy Page 4

by Chase Connor


  “Just like that?”

  “Yes. That easy.”

  “I’m not that easy.” I realized what I said and couldn’t help but grin evilly. “Usually.”

  He smiled back.

  “I didn’t ask for your hand in marriage, Rob.” He said. “I just asked if you wanted to continue this with dinner and a movie. See where it leads. That’s all.”

  “I don’t know who I am, Lucas.”

  And there it was. The truth fell out of my mouth without me even willing it or realizing that I had it cued up to fall out of my mouth. Lucas frowned more deeply as he watched me from across the tabletop. Unsure of how long we just stared at each other, Jill showed up with our plates and set them down in front of us before we spoke again. We both thanked her for our food and she wandered off again. Lucas broke eye contact first as he unraveled his napkin wrapped silverware.

  “What does that mean?” He asked simply.

  Unwrapping my own silverware with trembling hands, I refused to let my eyes wander away from Lucas. I wouldn’t look insecure or vulnerable. I had seen this man’s penis after all.

  A very nice penis.

  Shut up, brain.

  “Who the hell am I, Lucas?” I said, grabbing ahold of my fork. “Who was Rob Wagner before I went off and became Jacob Michaels? Who was Jacob Michaels? Who is Rob Wagner if he’s not Jacob Michaels?”

  Lucas stared at me, wide-eyed.

  “I’ve spent a decade pretending I’m someone I’m not to the point that I have no idea who I really am.” I looked around surreptitiously and leaned in. “I didn’t even know werewolves were real and that my Oma…there are a lot of things I don’t know about…anything…because I’ve been too busy being Jacob Michaels and denying I was Rob Wagner. Now, I’m back here, and my intention was just to be whoever it is that Rob Wagner is…and I don’t even know who that is. And werewolves are real. Happy Monday.”

  Lucas chuckled and cut into his omelet.

  “I need to ask you a question,” I asked tentatively as I skewered a piece of honeydew melon from my fruit cup. “Is that okay?”

  “Of course.” Lucas popped the bite of omelet into his mouth.

  His beautiful, sexy, delicious mouth.

  Stop. Stop. Stop.

  “Who are you?”

  “I’m sorry?” He smiled crookedly.

  Popping the piece of fruit into my mouth, I kept my eyes on his. Those gilded jade eyes that were just a little too beautiful. Lucas had beautiful eyes. Lips that were just too kissable. Skin that was just too perfectly tanned and smooth. He was so appealing in every way.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “That came out wrong. What are you?”

  Lucas set his fork on his plate and sat back in his seat.

  “What do you mean?” He chewed at his lip.

  “Andrew is a werewolf.” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant as I chewed and skewered another piece of melon. “Oma is a witch, I guess. What are you, Lucas? Did I have sex with a leprechaun the other night?”

  “And twice the next morning?”

  His grin was too appealing.

  It was my turn to frown.

  “Please answer me.”

  “I’m just…me, Rob.”

  “Human?”

  “Mrs. Wagner is human.” He said. “So is Andrew. Being a witch doesn’t take away your humanity, Rob. And werewolves only lose their humanity in wolf form.”

  I’d hit a sore spot, clearly.

  “Are you human or is there a hyphen, Lucas.” I was sorry for having phrased my question the way I had, but I needed answers. “Is there an additional descriptor for ‘Lucas’ besides ‘human’?”

  “Would you believe me if I said I was just a human?”

  “Maybe.”

  “What if I told you that I was, indeed, a leprechaun?”

  “Harder to believe.”

  “Because werewolves don’t exist, right?” He teased.

  Watching him for a few moments, I tried to not get distracted by his perfect…everything. I tried to not let my brain tell me how much I wanted to ask him if we could go back to his house.

  “What are you?”

  “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  “I don’t think so. No.”

  “I’m human.”

  “And nothing else?”

  He shrugged.

  “What does that mean?” I was completely frustrated. “All you have to tell me is if you’re something in addition to being human.”

  “I don’t know.” He was shrugging again.

  “How can you not know?”

  “Everyone around here has some crazy family history.” He said, grabbing his fork and attacking his omelet once again. “Well, maybe not everyone, but quite a few people have this or that in their bloodline. How should I know if there’s a leprechaun in the woodpile?”

  “Poorly executed, Lucas.”

  He blushed as he shoved more omelet into his mouth.

  “I’ve never grown hair at the full moon or had lasers shoot out of my fingers or granted wishes, or anything.” He replied, chewing his food. “If that helps any.”

  “Then why didn’t you just say that you’re human and that’s all?”

  “Because I didn’t want to lie inadvertently.” He shrugged, shoving more omelet in his mouth.

  He was eating faster by the second, which made me nervous. Was he trying to finish this meal so that he could leave and avoid my questions about his genetics?

  “It’s not lying if you think you’re telling the truth, Lucas.”

  “Okay.” He said. “I think I’m telling the truth. Eat your food.”

  “What’s the rush?” I cut at my omelet with the side of my fork.

  Lucas shoved the last bite of his omelet in his mouth, chewed it just a few times and swallowed it in a way that looked painful. He leaned in as I brought the bite of my omelet to my lips.

  “The rush is to get your food finished because we need to leave.” Lucas’ voice was thick as he stared at me. “Because I need to have sex with you again. Maybe a couple times.”

  I swallowed the bite of omelet, nearly choking.

  “Eat your food, Rob,” Lucas said firmly. “Then we’re going to my house.”

  My brain told my mouth to tell Lucas that he couldn’t just order me around and command me to hurry up and eat then have sex with him. That’s not what came out of my mouth.

  “Okay,” I said to Lucas, my fork digging into the omelet again.

  Chapter 5

  Rising to my knees, Lucas’ legs fell off of my shoulders and he stared up at me, panting and smiling widely, sweat beads decorating his torso and other places. I took a few moments to catch my breath before placing my hands on either side of him and leaning down to push my mouth against his. Lucas’ arms went around my back and he pulled me into him, both of our sweaty bodies sealing the space between us. I was still inside of Lucas as he did his best to devour my mouth with his own as arms tried to push us even closer together, though that would have been utterly impossible.

  “My God, Rob.” Lucas breathed out heavily as my mouth moved to his jaw, then to his neck.

  What the fuck is wrong with me???

  I wanted to do this again. And again. And again. I wanted to feel my tongue trace along every inch of his skin. To taste every part of him that I could. I never wanted my body to be withdrawn from his.

  “That was so…so…”

  Mumbling into Lucas’ neck, I kissed and nibbled at him with a smile, making him squirm and chuckle beneath me.

  “What did you say?” He practically giggled as I chewed at his neck like a sex-crazed, eternally horny teenager.

  “Amazing,” I mumbled against the flesh my mouth was sucking at as he squirmed beneath me.

  “That doesn’t even cover it.” Lucas sighed happily as his fingers twined in my hair and gently pulled my mouth back up to his.

  Lucas’ hands went to my face as he pulled me in for a long, passionat
e kiss and his legs wrapped around my waist. How were we managing to stay connected so easily? I adjusted my hips to rectify that situation. Lucas sighed as my body left his and our mouths continued to mingle, reacquainting themselves. Finally, I pulled my mouth away from Lucas’ as I felt myself finally going soft, though it was hard to tell with our pelvises pushed together, and I gazed down at Lucas, unable to remove the lazy smile from my face.

  “I could run my fingers through your hair all day.” He whispered playfully to me as he did just that. “You were blessed with good hair, Rob. And, uh, other things.”

  I felt myself slightly blush as a laugh escaped my throat.

  “You’re not so bad yourself.”

  Lucas answered that with a smile and a gentle thrusting of his hips.

  “No!” I admonished him, though I made no move to remove myself from our current position. “Not again. I’m worn out.”

  Lucas’ hands slid from my face, over my shoulders and collarbones, my chest, and came to rest on the sides of my stomach. I continued to gaze down at him, holding myself above him.

  “We need to get a little more weight on you.” He tickled my ribs, finally forcing me to roll off of him in a burst of laughter. “Get your stamina up.”

  “You’re a shit. I’ve had more sex in three days than I’ve had in the last five years.” I spat playfully. “I think that counts for something.”

  “Maybe you need to make up for lost time?”

  Lucas turned on his side and his mouth was on mine again and then he was rolling on top of me and pressing his body into mine. I reached up and held his face in my hands as we kissed and he tried to seduce me into going past my limits. It would have absolutely worked, but I knew that I needed to eat and I needed coffee. I hadn’t eaten nearly enough in the day considering I had given up on finishing my breakfast at the café, letting my libido win over. And I hadn’t even finished a full cup of coffee, either.

  “Okay, okay.” I slowly pulled his face away from mine, getting a whimper and slight resistance from him in the process. “I need food. And I need coffee. And you need to make it for me.”

  “You aren’t afraid I’ll burn it?” He kissed the tip of my nose.

  It was a loving, romantic gesture. Too familiar. Too perfect. It felt too good. I ignored that nagging feeling in my gut and just smiled at him.

  “The coffee? No. The food? Maybe.”

  Lucas chuckled and gave me another quick kiss before rolling off of me and then out of the bed. Noon sunlight was streaming through the sheer curtains of his bedroom and dust motes hung lazily in the air. It was still cold outside but his bedroom was warm and toasty. I wanted food and coffee, but seeing Lucas stand at the side of the bed, pulling his jeans on without even bothering to pull his underwear on first, I wanted to drag him back into bed. Wrap him in my arms and curl up with him. Doze off. Sleep the sleep of death until we could sleep no more.

  “What are you looking at?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

  “Go!” I shook the thoughts from my head. “Food! Coffee! Burnt as little as possible!”

  He laughed and left the room, pulling a t-shirt on over his head as he stepped through his bedroom door. I rolled onto my back and stretched jerkily, smiling to myself and my bad choices and behavior. With the new activities in my life, I was going to have to start showering more. In my pre-Point Worth life, showering once a day usually did it on a normal day. Unless I was working on location or in the studio and makeup or the sweat of a long shoot had to be washed off at the end of the day. With Lucas in my life and all of the sex, it was nearly the same concept.

  Finally, I rolled out of the bed and found my underwear and jeans and slipped them on. Then I pulled on my sweater and slipped my feet into my socks. I wasn’t planning to leave—was I?—but I didn’t want to get cold walking on the hardwood floors in Lucas’ house. It was well-insulated and heated, but I was still a ways from having an adequate amount of body fat, so I got cold a lot more easily than a normal person. I gave my hair a once-over in the mirror over Lucas’ dresser, making sure I didn’t look too “sexed up” and tiptoed from the room as well.

  I could hear Lucas working away at setting the coffee pot to brew in the kitchen and searching the fridge for whatever it was he was going to make for me. How I felt in that moment made me almost stop in my tracks and reassess how I let myself tumble into this position again. I was playing house with Lucas. I hadn’t even bothered to tell Oma where I was, how long I would be gone, hadn’t even checked in with her. Lucas and I had met for breakfast, exchanged a few words in a tense discussion…then we were back in bed together like teenagers who had just discovered their bodies.

  Everything felt so right, though. I felt compelled to tiptoe up behind Lucas and wrap my arms around him and nibble at his neck. Wanting to feel him jump in pleasant surprise and chuckle sexily as my mouth worked at his flesh. I wanted to make him feel even more enamored with me and my body. Wanted him to know that I loved his body. The desire to make him realize our bodies were made for each other’s made my gut flutter.

  That is batshit crazy.

  You’ve known him for DAYS.

  You’ve worked with some of the hottest, sexiest, most desirable men on the planet and never felt this way.

  Maybe you thought they’d be good to see naked or have sex with, sure.

  But you didn’t daydream about them.

  God, Lucas sets my skin on fire.

  Stop it, brain!

  Goddamnit!

  “What do vegetarians make for breakfast at home?” I asked the most neutral question that came to mind.

  Lucas looked up from the stove as I tiptoed into the kitchen and slid onto one of the barstools across from him at the counter. The guy made cooking look absolutely luscious.

  “Well, I don’t have any meat, but I thought I’d make eggs and hash browns?” He gave a slight shrug, his eyes on mine for a moment, then my arms, then back to my eyes. “I want to do bad things with you.”

  “You know this is ridiculous, right?”

  “Yes.” The word was a satisfied exhalation.

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t ruin it.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Good.” He nodded, then his smile reappeared. “I’m going to make you eggs and hash browns. And you’re going to love it. And you’ll have a big cup of coffee. After thirty minutes, it’s back into the water, Rob.”

  “Is that what we’re going to call it?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “It’s the nicest thing I could think of to call it.”

  “It wasn’t a bad effort.”

  “Scale of one to ten.” He gave me an upward nod. “What do you think?”

  “Of…the water?”

  He made a humming noise in response.

  “I don’t want to answer that.”

  “Why not?” He chuckled nervously.

  “Not because it’s bad.” I rolled my eyes playfully. “I don’t want to talk about how much I like having—the water—with you. I’m not in love with you, Lucas.”

  “Yet.”

  “Maybe.”

  “How many more times before you are?”

  “What if I never am?” I asked gently, bashfully, shamefully. “What if that never happens?”

  Good Lord, this was a bluntly honest conversation.

  “I love you.”

  “No,” I replied. “You don’t.”

  “Pretty close if not.” He shrugged as he threw some butter in the skillet. “Enamored at the very least. You’re absolutely addictive. Delightful. Obsession-worthy.”

  “Any more adjectives you want to throw in there?”

  “I’ll think of some, I’m sure.”

  “I’ve never been in love, Lucas.”

  God’s honest truth. Another one fell out of my mouth. And I hadn’t been aware that it was going to happen. Again.

  “What does that have to do with me?”

  “Nothing.” I chewed at my lip. “And eve
rything. What if I’m not capable of falling in love? With anyone? Even someone like you.”

  “What is someone like me like, Rob?” He teased as he threw some chopped onion into the skillet and nudged it around, not even bothering to watch what he was doing.

  “Intoxicating,” I said, then frowned. “I don’t like how honest you make me. I don’t do…this.”

  “You don’t tell the truth?”

  “I don’t tell it so quickly and easily.” I replied. “Especially to some guy I barely know.”

  “How’s it feel?” He asked. “Telling me the truth just because you want to? Does it feel like—”

  “It feels like I’m not in control.” I stopped him. “Like I’m thinking with my dick instead of my head.”

  “Maybe it’s a different organ.” He jabbed the spatula at my chest with a chuckle. “Maybe it’s not your dick—though that is very nice.”

  “Make my hash browns.” I swatted the spatula away with a laugh. “But I need to know something. I really, really need to know something very badly.”

  “Ask away.”

  “Will you hate me if this is all it ever is with us?” I shifted on the stool uncomfortably, feeling very exposed. “What if…it…never happens and it’s just what we have now? Will you not want to even be my friend?”

  Lucas frowned down at the skillet as he added shredded potatoes from a bag. He nudged things around for a few moments with the spatula as I sat there and stewed in my own juices, thoughts racing through my head. If I was scared to have him disappear from my life, didn’t that mean something? Sure, it was ridiculous to think that losing someone I had known less than two weeks would devastate me. Ridiculous that someone I had known for such a small amount of time and really didn’t know all that well played such an important role in my life. But I enjoyed my time with Lucas. Even before the sex. Lucas was…he was my only friend.

  Is that why you don’t want to fall in love?

  Might lose him?

  Shut. Up. Brain.

  “We’ll still be friends,” Lucas responded lowly, his eyes staying on the skillet. “Even if you don’t ever love me the way I want you to.”

  “How do you know?”

  He shrugged bitterly. “I just do.”

  “Okay.”

 

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