“Like I said what does that mean for the injured?” Ed tried again before Kram pulled him aside.
“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the answers to.”
“There’s half a dozen that are injured—I can’t leave them to be slaughtered.”
For once, Kram seemed almost human, “I know these guys. Prisoners that are useful and were just doing a job will end up with another job.”
“And the others?”
“Don’t ask and they won’t tell.”
It wasn’t enough, Ed had to ask, “Thielman?”
“Boss, those injuries looked pretty life-threatening. I can’t guarantee he’ll be starring in another sex tape any time soon.”
Kram and Mr. Black didn’t break gaze, this was the time Ed could apply a mercy that Thielman didn’t deserve. “He’ll at least get a doctor to look over him?”
“Of course.”
A strange calm came over the warehouse while all the professionals cleaned up. Double counting bullets and shell casings, making sure that no evidence was being left behind that could trace back to them.
Needing to do something practical, Ed took over brushing the industrial cleaner into the bloodstains on the concrete starting from where Anastacia had lain. If she had been killed while he was getting into position to save her—he’d never have forgiven himself. If any of his men had given their lives because of his stuff up—again, the thought was beyond comprehension. Fighting a known enemy on foreign soil was one thing, but this had been hard all around.
“You right, boss?” Kram came up after seeing Mr. Black and his team out.
“Yeah, I assume Vaughan and Anastacia are already at the hospital.”
“How are they going to explain their injuries?”
“For Anastacia, it was a complication from her previous injuries. Dr Stanwell had insisted I get in touch if there was anything he could do—this would be the time. He’ll look after the Colonel and Defence never need know.”
“What about the bill?”
“That’s what my older brother is for. He thinks he can play poker, but he’s never beaten me in twenty years. I promised never to play him again if he paid for whatever I needed, medical bills included.”
“Sweet deal!”
“The alternative was I turn up to one of his games and clean him out and destroy his reputation.”
“Like I said, sweet deal.”
Kram left him alone and Ed watched the final clean up. He’d had so many regrets in his life, but as one by one the injured and lifeless bodies were bundled into the back of Mr. Black’s van, he only had one regret.
That he could only kill the bastard once.
No defence
ANASTACIA
Anastacia stopped counting the days. It was enough to know that she’d been in hospital through two cycles of the lunch menu and today’s pumpkin risotto looked surprising like the roasted pumpkin served with her roast turkey from last night.
“How are you feeling today?” Somehow, Dr Stanwell had adjusted the schedules to ensure that since she had been moved out of ICU and into a private room, he was the only doctor who could look after her. They’d even talked about her old breaks and she was considering whether rebreaking her left arm and having it reset properly would give her greater use. In the six weeks since her original attack, Dr Stanwell was the only person who put her in control of her own life and treatment. He’d worked each day since she’d been bought in and if she was going to trust anyone – it would be him.
“Fine,” she muttered, turning away while he checked the stupid machines and her charts. Nothing was fine, but as long as the medical signs were positive the nursing staff generally left her alone.
“Have you given any more thought to my other suggestion?”
“Resetting my arm?” Unless it could be used to extend her stay in hospital, she wasn’t ready for any more medical procedures.
“Whenever you are ready, we can talk about that some more, but I was thinking of you talking to someone.”
“I just want to be left alone. No visitors. Not even well-intentioned professional ones who want to make sure I’m okay,” she stressed. Eventually, she’d either leave the hospital or he’d give up. Her only amusement was betting on which one would win.
“I wasn’t just talking about your personal security detail.” At least Dr Stanwell had the grace to smile. He’d been dodging the gauntlet of Edison Alexander morning and night. “Not many people have lived your experience over the past few years—most don’t survive and those that do deserve to share their pain with someone who can help.”
“Is my body healing?”
“Yes, but it’s your mind that I’m worried about.”
She turned back and tried to give him a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry about me.”
“Your father asks about you daily, and as I keep reminding you, Lieutenant Colonel Alexander has kept a vigil outside your room since you were admitted. The only times he leaves, a ‘Jax,’ ‘Kram,’ or ‘Spider,’ take up residence. I can only hope that their mothers call them by normal names.”
Anastacia stifled a smile, those were faces she wouldn’t mind seeing—if only to thank them for their friendship and her life. None of them had insisted she trust them. That was Ed. He asked her to trust him with her heart and life, then failed.
“My medical records are private, aren’t they?”
“Yes, but …”
“Then all anyone needs to know is that I’m alive and still a patient at this hospital.”
“Ms Vaughan, I really think you should talk to someone.”
“I have nothing to say.”
It was the truest statement she’d ever made. Once upon a time, she’d met a dashing young diplomat who’d swept her off her feet. She’d fallen in love and tried to look past all the ways he hurt her—until she couldn’t. Only to find out it had all been a lie.
Then, she’d met a dashing soldier, masked at a ball and allowed herself to be swept up in the magic of the moment.
It didn’t matter that in Ed’s arms, she’d felt loved and safe.
It hadn’t been enough—and by trusting him—more importantly, by trusting in him she and her father almost died.
Ed’s was a betrayal that consumed her body. Not just her thoughts or memories, but her entire body. Every part of her had felt loved and protected until Hudson beat her into remembering she could only ever trust in herself. Not Edison Alexander, only herself.
Not even her father.
His was the greatest betrayal of all, even though analytically Anastacia knew it wasn’t his fault. Until she could find it in her heart to forgive her father for not being perfect, she’d call on Dr Stanwell’s patience to allow her to stay in the safe cocoon of a hospital bed, alone with her thoughts.
“Trust me,” Ed and her father insisted—not asked, but told her. Without a shadow of a doubt, they insisted she could trust them to keep her safe.
It almost cost her, her life. The broken bones and bruises from her marriage she could blame on Hudson—it had been his way of exerting his power.
She’d even convinced herself that the first abduction was Hudson’s fault and neither her father or Edison were to blame. Yes, her father knew about threats without warning her, and Edison knew that his Colonel’s daughter was in danger and allowed his ego get in the way of “her” safety. But still, it had taken a level of skill she had never associated with Hudson to track her down and kidnap her.
All over money she didn’t have.
Whenever she tried to reconcile the last abduction, her heart raced until nurses raced into the room and she could hear Edison call out from the hallway. Better to not think about it rather than pass judgement—
On how her father allowed them not only to find his burner phone—but to give him the password to lure her into a trap. Surely, Hudson’s people weren’t smart enough to break the codes?
Or on Edison—thinking he was so fucking perfect
and invincible that no one could ever out-smart him or his team. She should have believed him when he said that getting involved would cloud his judgement.
Not a mistake she’d ever make again.
Nothing she needed a shrink to hear or confirm.
Anastacia pushed the button for more pain relief, waiting for the warmth to overtake her and for sleep to come.
If there was a single word to describe how she was feeling, it would be either broken or shattered; and until she was ready to put herself back together again, no one else was invited to her party.
About to fall back into the blackness of sleep, Dr Stanwell asked her one more question, “What should I tell Ms Constance? She calls for you daily. Would you at least see Ms Constance?”
“Sure,” she mumbled as her welcome blackness descended, again.
“I’m so glad to see you,” Bella stopped short of her bed. “It’s been, what, two weeks?”
“Apparently, but who’s counting.” Anastacia had the energy to answer but not to joke. Waking to see her best friend wasn’t expected but not unpleasant. Maybe she was almost ready to return to the land of the living. “Is he still out there?”
“The gorgeous guy with the messy beard, sunken eyes and body that I’d never say ‘no’ to?”
“You’re welcome to him, but only after I get out of here. I don’t need to hear you calling his name any time soon.”
“Honey, as much as he could be my type, I think his heart is already taken. The nurses tell me that he’s rarely left since you arrived—popping down to see your father or to shower but then he comes right back.”
“How is my dad?” The last time she’d asked the nurses, they’d taken it as a sign she wanted to visit his room. Not yet.
“He could have been released a day or two ago, but he’s been hoping to see you first.”
“No.”
“Not even a quick visit? Staci, you could have died.”
“That’s why I can’t see him. They were going to kill him, so I distracted them.”
“From how I heard it, you took a beating and saved his life.”
Two statements that shredded her resolve to believe in her own future. Of course she’d give her life to save her father, but who was there for her? Ed? She pushed the thought aside. Not yet, she couldn’t think about him as her rescuer just yet.
“Well, you said it. I took the beating, don’t you think that’s enough?” she cried. “Why do I have to see him as well?”
Why couldn’t anyone understand that to see her father’s injuries because she married Hudson would be more guilt than she could stand—at least right now. The person she loved all her life almost died because of the man she married.
Bella stood back, uncharacteristically lost for words, dumbfounded and Anastacia could understand how crazy and messed up she sounded. “It’s not forever—please tell him that I love him, I just can’t see him, yet.”
“Do I give the same message to your boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend—he’s not anyone.”
That, at least was the truth.
“Fine, so when you escape this place, do you need somewhere to stay?”
Anastacia could laugh, “Apparently if I’ve left my husband, not talking to my father and am not living with the man who could have been my boyfriend—then technically, I’m homeless.”
“It’d be like boarding school all over again,” Bella squealed. “Of course, I’d love to have you as a houseguest—as long as you’re sure you are ready to leave.”
“The only condition is that I still don’t want any visitors.” Anastacia needed Bella to understand, or even if she couldn’t understand, at least accept. “If you have guests for dinner or something, then I’m happy to stay in my room until they leave but I don’t want to see anyone.”
“Oh, Staci,” Bella cried, hugging her despite the bandages. “I don’t know what to say—but yes—until you are ready to face the world, my house is yours.”
The first night at Bella’s, Anastacia curled up on the loveseat at the window of her new room. Wrapped within Ed’s old jumper that had been left at the hospital, watching the clouds cover and then uncover the stars. Trying to guess the patterns and find order in the night sky. Impossible. Still, it was easier than trying to find the logic in her life.
Neither the doctor nor Bella could tell her what happened in the warehouse. Frozen in fear from the moment she realized the trap, the last thing she remembered clearly was Hudson about to strike her. Then nothing until waking up in hospital, thinking she was dead or that the last month with Ed had been a dream. After all, it was the same room as last time, same staff and her body had the familiar aches and bandages.
“Can’t you ask?” she pleaded with Bella before they left. “Just go and ask what happened.”
“Don’t you mean, what happened to Hudson?”
True, she wanted to know—but if he’d been killed—then what? She couldn’t change what had happened and seriously, didn’t need or deserve the guilt. “I want to know if I need to keep looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.”
“Why didn’t you ask your Lieutenant Colonel when he was camped outside your room.”
“I had nothing to say to him.”
“But obviously, something to ask. All I know is that his team arrived and got you and your father out of the building alive and made sure you got medical attention on the way to hospital. I got a call from your father’s office the next day and I called every day until you finally agreed to see me.”
“Has he gone home?”
“Your father?” Bella had waited until she nodded. “Again, something you should have asked him—but yes. His discharge came through the same time as yours.”
With no truth to set her free and the night stars giving away no secrets, Anastacia could only imagine what happened. Each time she closed her eyes there was a different nightmare. Mostly, she imagined Ed storming in and killing everyone in sight. Other times, she imagined a fierce gun battle and her father almost dying amidst a hail of bullets.
Then there was the thought that Hudson survived her escape only to be tracked down and killed in cold blood by Edison. Sometimes the thought filled her with relief—but she couldn’t love Ed if he was a cold-blooded killer—could she?
Until she knew the answers to her unspoken questions, she needed to hide behind Bella’s security guarded gates.
Her father was alive and safe.
She was alive and physically safe but emotionally? Still a work in progress.
ED
“Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?” Ed wheeled Vaughan into his home study. The older man could manage a few steps, but the injuries were taking as long to heal as it was taking for Vaughan to reclaim his energy and strength.
“I think you’ve done enough,” Vaughan’s gruff reply was the warning Ed needed. Their relationship swung between grateful father and anger at how the operation ended up in a rescue.
“Your nurse isn’t due for a couple of hours, how about I rustle us up something in the kitchen.”
“There isn’t any food.”
“Unless you’ve already eaten your way through the groceries that I picked up yesterday, I should at least be able to make a pumpkin and mushroom risotto.” Ed waited for the reaction.
“I’m not going to build up my strength on fucking pumpkin and mushroom. Either cook me a steak or order me something on your way out the door.”
“Steak and chips coming up, sir.”
Ed settled Vaughan with his laptop in front of the television before making himself at home in the kitchen. Truthfully, he welcomed the distraction, anything other than thinking about where Anastacia had been taken or how she was doing.
“The fact they released her, had to be good? Right?” Vaughan asked as Ed delivered two plates of hot food.
“Absolutely, Dr Stanwell couldn’t tell me anything without breaking privilege, but I heard one of the nurses saying she could h
ave been released last week.”
“I thought she’d at least pay me a visit. Even pick up the house phone and talk to me.”
“I thought the same, sir. She wouldn’t even call out to me even when I was camped outside her room.”
“Maybe she holds me responsible for trusting you to defend her.” Vaughan reverted back to cranky old bastard.
“Probably, and I’m sorry. If she ever lets me talk to her, I’ll take full responsibility for what happened.”
“You happened. What were you thinking picking up a random woman at a ball? She was probably trying to get away from you which is why she got into that damn cab.”
“Sir, I’m not going to explain again about that night. Neither of us were looking for anything more than dancing and a couple of kisses.”
“Well you sure as hell changed your mind. I command you to keep away from my daughter—she’ll come to me in her own time.”
“I can’t agree to that, sir.” Ed was ready to make any number of promises to atone for his stuff up but agreeing to keep away from Anastacia wasn’t one of them. “We had made plans to move in together, after the operation.”
“You also ‘planned’ to keep her safe. Why did you think you’d be any better at defending my daughter than you are at relationships?”
Ed needed Vaughan to see him as a potential presence in Anastacia’s life—he couldn’t keep fighting both of them. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve never been married, never had children.”
“And yet three of my ex-girlfriends were willing to protect her because I was able to walk away as friends. That’s gotta count for something.”
“It’s not enough—you had one job to do and you failed.”
“Actually sir, that’s on you.”
Ed didn’t intend to be open and honest the moment Vaughan came home from hospital. “I’m sorry sir, there were better ways to say that Jessica was the leak.”
“What the fuck?”
“Your personal assistant was compromised financially and provided sufficient information that the enemy could track your communication devices and was fully informed of our plans and was able to implement counter measures.”
Defend Her: A military suspense romance (Aussie Military Romance Book 4) Page 16