by Leigh Lennon
He’s my everything. Him and this little thing cooking inside of me are my everything.
I’m startled to look up from a dead sleep and see Brody staring at me. It’s still nighttime and when I lift my head to see the time, I realize I’ve been asleep for an hour.
“Sorry, Toots, if I woke you but you were out like a light. I wanted to finish this last chapter. I was just about to turn off this lamp.”
“Oh, well, I sort of wanted to talk to you.”
“Really? About money again?” I know Brody hates this topic but knowing where our money is going makes me feel secure, though the topic is not directly involving money.
“No, not particularly.” He raises one eyebrow at me and sits up, making room for me under his strong arms.
“Okay, Toots, what do you have for me?” His words sound forced but I really think—no, I know—he will like where I’m going with this.
“Don’t sound so morose,” Giving him a little slug on the thigh, I turn to look directly at his face. “It’s just that I’m not ready for you to give up your family house in Pendleton. I think this is a decision we should make together.”
“Really? When I met you, I knew I would give up anything to be with you and if that meant a life in Spokane…” That is true. Jones was going to give up going to medical school for me because I wouldn’t follow him—that’s why he chose nursing. But with Brody, moving with him doesn’t sound too scary.
“I think that it’s worth considering. I mean, I love the farm. The chance to have horses, raise our family in nature. I don’t think we should discount it—not until we look at the house. And anyway, this is not the deciding factor but a bonus would be me staying at home quicker with the baby.”
He’s now sitting straight up—as I lose that cocoon he had for me—while he thinks deeply. Raking his hand through his blond hair, he says, “Well, Toots, that would take a huge financial burden off of us. We would have a small loan for modifications to the house, but not a mortgage and my grandparents left me money to fix it up anyway.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“That was a moot point, honestly.” He leans down to kiss me. “You would really move away from your family?”
“First, my mom is three hours away and has some good time off. We would see her often. Second, I want to be with you. You’re my family. I know I’m the one dragging my feet about setting a date and becoming officially engaged, but what we have is love and commitment, and that is not going away regardless of our marital status. We are together and we are a family.”
He takes his arms, encasing my huge stomach and drags me close to him. “I fucking love you, Toots.”
“Yeah, you aren’t too bad yourself, mister,” I say as I rake my hand through his already tousled hair. I take one look at him and know my future is certain.
34
Rose
July turns into August quickly. I only have seven weeks left until I meet my son or daughter. My anxiety about having a reliable second vehicle and picking out furniture for the baby are no more. The crib that had been a major source of contention early on is finally resolved. In the end, we bought an antique white sleigh-style crib. Brody still claims it looks feminine, yet he told me he’s happy, because I am.
My baby shower is set for next weekend and with Hildy in charge, it has become more than the celebration of this new little life that is coming. It is going to be a mini family reunion. My Abuela and Abuelo, Dad’s parents, are coming. They hold a special place in my heart. Lila is flying in from L.A. I have not seen my crazy best friend since March. She hasn’t seen Brody and me officially together yet. I keep telling myself along with Brody to brace ourselves for Lila’s smart-ass comments. I suspect my wonderful Brody will only put up with her because she’s important to me. Kai and Jane are flying in for the shower, too.
Hildy spares no expense for this shower. I have continued to hear her hatred for the neutral-themed shower due to the fact that she hates the color yellow. However, Hildy being Hildy needs a theme that will outdo anyone else from thinking they can take on this event. She’s working with the idea of building blocks with the main color of the shower being red. “It can go for both a boy or a girl,” Hildy insists. After knowing her as long as I have, I just throw up my hands and let her do her thing. Mom finally said one day, “If I get one more call coordinating one more thing off the small list she has allowed me to do, I’m going to tell her to stick her coordination where the fucking sun doesn’t shine.” I can only laugh at my mom because in the end, Mom is Mom and Hildy is Hildy. There is no changing these two.
I know Hildy has fun with her over-the-top way of doing things but I really didn’t want her to go to this much trouble. However, I know that’s like telling a bird not to spread his wings and fly.
Tyler is coming with baby Aspen. The only one not attending is Emma, who still has not returned home from the treatment center. To my understanding, Emma doesn’t ask about her daughter at all. It breaks my heart.
Then, of course, the Buchannan’s will be here along with Grandma Marcia and Ryan.
Even Grandpa Jim is coming. Up until Lorelei died, Grandpa Jim was a jerk to about everyone in the family. Because he had taken in Lorelei when he found out Lorelei’s father had molested her, he too had lost a daughter. His temperament has changed drastically in terms of his family and he’s now fun to be around.
It is the night before the shower. My phone starts ringing and the name that appears on the screen is Lila. I’m so tired, barely able to keep my eyes open when she calls but I answer it because she will just keep calling me. “Hey, I was wondering, can I steal some time away with you in the morning? I know you have Brody’s family in and all but it has been too long and I want to catch up.”
“I don’t see a problem, what were you thinking?”
“Let’s get breakfast and go shopping and then head to the shower together.”
“I will have to come back here first and change. I’m so hot all the time, I sweat like a pig.”
“Oh, too much information there, Rose. You make pregnancy sound so appealing to the point I want to go out and get knocked up immediately.”
“Oh, you should, the sex is great while you’re pregnant.”
“Not so great that I will take having to raise a child for eighteen years.” Lila laughs.
“I will have Mom drop me off at 9 am tomorrow at your house and I’ll just ride with you and Brody to the shower. And I promise, I will behave around him.”
“I don’t believe it for a second because I know you, Lila Barron, too well. But thanks, best friend.”
At 9 o’clock on the dot, Lila is knocking on the door. I wonder why I agreed to such an early time, knowing it’s my day to sleep in. When Lila enters the house, she casually strolls into the living room. “Can I see the baby’s room?”
“Bryn is still sleeping and she’s in there. Maybe when we get back here.”
She turns around to see Brody in the kitchen preparing breakfast for everyone. “Hey, Brody,” she says casually.
“Lila,” he says in acknowledgement.
“How is it going?” I have to admit she’s being nice.
“We’re good, Lila, thanks for asking.” His tone is dry.
“Oh, good Lord, you try to sleep with someone one time and they can’t forget it.” She throws her hands in the air in the dramatic way that only Lila can get away with.
“Um, Lila,” I say, pointing my head toward the living room.
“Oh, Brody’s parents are here.” She states the fact as if I didn’t know it. “Well hello there, I’m Lila, Rose’s best friend.”
“I wish you would have continued, it would have made for a good story,” Henry says with an amused smile on his face.
Lila makes herself very comfortable next to Ruth and Henry as if she has known them her whole life instead of just meeting them. Brody shoots me a look that I’m too aware of. It’s the same look he gets on his face when the name Jones is
mentioned. “Oh, it’s actually a great story but in truth, it was me that looked like an ass through the whole thing. Long story short, my sister thinks I’m a bit loose with men and didn’t want me to hurt Brody. She claims he’s this stand-up sort of family man.” I look at Ruth and she beams at this compliment yet knowing Lila, she doesn’t mean it as that. “Good Lord, she would go on and on about what a good guy he was and all that mushy shit. But that didn’t stop me from trying. He just told me I wasn’t his type.”
“Okay, let me get this straight,” Ruth, asks bluntly, and by the attention she gives to my loud-mouthed best friend, I see she’s entranced with Lila. “He was rude to you because he wouldn’t sleep with you?”
“I reckon,” Lila responds in a fake southern accent.
“Well, it seems to me that it should be the other way around,” Henry chimes in, smiling over his coffee mug at his son who is now the shade of a strawberry.
“I know, right?” Lila agrees.
I never know what will come out of my best friend’s mouth. “Well, as tantalizing as this conversation has been, we must go,” I say, actually physically pulling her behind me toward the door as I mouth I’m sorry to Brody. His head looks like it might spin around like a Chucky doll.
Lila looks up at me and then Brody. “All right, let’s get some shopping done, bestie.” She pops her head back in the den toward Ruth and Henry, who are still laughing at the expense of their son, “Bye, Mr. and Mrs. B. It was nice to meet you.” I see Brody out of the corner of my eye shaking his head in disgust.
“Nice to meet you, too, Lila,” they say.
As we leave my place, heading toward my car, I say sarcastically, “Thanks, Lila, for keeping it tame in there.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. His mom seems a lot like your mom,” she says, now all quiet and refined.
I turn onto Division Avenue, making my way to our favorite mall as I say, “I don’t know if anyone can be as open as you and my mom, that’s for sure. She reminds me a lot of Lorelei, a little more relaxed, though.” I smile at my friend and ask, “So, what’s new with you? You look great, by the way.”
Watching Lila, I see something completely different in her look. She has a shine to her skin and a sparkle in the deep indigo eyes of hers. Lila has been the reason for insecurity in myself since the day I met her. To say she’s beautiful doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand. Even in the straight girl exterior of mine, I know she turns the heads of every man she meets. Brody may not like her but he could never deny how beautiful she’s. Yet, I have always seen her tired and stressed and now she seems relaxed, which is not the Lila I’m used to.
Turning to me with a large smile on her face, she says, “I need to talk to you about something. You’re pregnant and eat all the time, I’m sure of it, right? Let’s stop and get a bite before we embark on the first but not last trip of spoiling this baby of yours.”
I pull up to the Satellite Diner, the home away from home that fed us many meals whenever we came back to Spokane from Seattle on breaks. “Many memories here, Lila.”
“Yes, I love this place.” We both stare nostalgically, thinking of the memories of this restaurant, one of the many places we both shared with Jones. I wonder if she misses the camaraderie between us.
As we enter the restaurant, the table we always liked the best, by the windows, is open and we quickly help ourselves. I see her eyes dancing from side to side, a tell-tale sign she’s nervous which is rare for my confident friend sitting in front of me. “All right,” I say once we are seated, “Obviously something is up.”
“You know Jones is in L.A., right?” she asks. I take in a breath of relief. Lila is nervous that she’s picking me over him, which is silly. I would never expect her to give up her friendship with Jones.
My face blushes at the thought of Jones. I haven’t thought much of him and yet, I will always care for him and a part of me feels incomplete without him. But just a small part, since Brody more than completes me. It’s a funny thing with your first love but I’m happy he has a friend in Lila. “Yes, oh good, he looked you up! I told him to, he could always use a friend in a big city.”
“Yes, well, you know Jones and I have always been good friends, too.” Again, I’m touched she feels this dedication to me.
“Of course, I knew that. So how is he doing? How is school? Where is he living?” I have so many more questions that I want to know concerning him but out of respect for Brody, I keep it simple. I gave up all rights to him when I chose the man I see spending the rest of my life with.
“He’s good, just started classes last week. He moved down the beginning of the month and I just happened to be in town.”
“I know you were rooting for him over Brody. I know you don’t like Brody.” Lila wants what she wants and if she wanted Brody, she would have tried like hell to make it happen. Brody, feeling a loyalty to Jane, because my Brody is so faithful, felt Lila was threatening that. Neither one has to tell me this, yet I know.
“It’s not that I don’t like Brody, I don’t know him, but it’s obvious Brody has an issue with me.”
“Well, maybe you two can work on getting to know one another, for my sake.” Though Lila and I are stark opposites, her place in my life is high and I know Brody understands this.
“Okay, I will try for you. But back to Jones,” Lila says.
“Oh, there is more?” I ask, now realizing that none of the above questions I have asked, has she answered.
“Yes, Jones looked me up and we met for drinks, then I helped him move into his apartment the next day.”
“Good. Did he say anything about me?”
“Not a lot. He doesn’t want me in the middle. He told me you both slept together, though,” she mentions with an eyebrow raised, her way of asking silently what is up with that.
“Yes, we did, one time—but it made me realize how deep I was gone with Brody. I will always love Jones, but he’s not Brody.”
“Then you’re over him?” she asks bluntly.
“He will always be my first love but yes, I wish him all the happiness in the world. Oh, has he moved on? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? And don’t worry about me. If you continue your friendship with him, it won’t upset me,” I say.
“Yes, I think he has moved on.”
“Good, he deserves to find someone. I think I was with him because it was familiar. But it wasn’t what I have with Brody.”
“Oh, I get that, I really do,” Lila insists.
“Thanks, Lila, for letting me know Jones is doing well, that makes me feel I really did the right thing by all of us,” I say, looking her up and down now, wanting the details of why she’s radiating happiness with that smile that is so uncharacteristic of Lila. She has a permanent bitch face plastered on her mouth and normally only smiles when she wants something. “So, tell me, Lila, what is new with you? Who has been your new conquest lately? Still dating that star Rick Reynolds?” I ask, always curious of Lila’s life that consists of parties and hook-ups.
“Funny you ask.”
“Okay, so tell me about your latest escapade. Who are you with now? Why haven’t you traveled lately? By the way, you look great. There is something different about you.”
“I have had some chances to travel, but I’m designing under one of the lead designers and she has stayed close to home lately. I’m learning so much as her assistant.”
“Oh, that’s good. Has there been anyone lately?”
“Yes, there has been someone I can be myself with. He’s different, it’s not a casual thing. Hell, we haven’t slept together yet.”
“Wait, did I hear you right?” I ask, astonished. Lila maintains a relationship for two to three months and is always up front with whomever she’s with. She usually partakes in three to four of these relationships a year.
“Yes, it’s different with him, I think I’m in love.” Lila is all smiles. There is something in her eyes telling me this is indeed very true.
My min
d stops because this is really the last thing I’m expecting. “Wow, I’m excited for you.”
“Well, there is more, Rose,” Lila says nervously.
“What could be more? You’re in love.”
“Rose, you’re the specific reason I wanted to tell you about this new relationship.”
“Well, of course you would, I’m your best friend. We share everything,” I say, reaching out to grab her hand. I want her to have someone who will always put her first in life.
“Yes, it’s true, but Rose, I’m trying to tell you something and for someone as brilliant as you, you’re not getting it at all.”
I stop for a second, trying to digest all she has said, removing my hand from hers and bracing myself for the unexpected because with Lila, that’s usually what one gets. “Okay, I guess I missed something then, Lila, why don’t you just tell me?”
“I’ve fallen for Jones. That’s who I’m involved with. He’s who I have fallen in love with.”
I can feel the smile that had blossomed on my face earlier at the idea of my best friend being in love for the first time dissipate because I’m truly blindsided. Obviously now that I’m replaying the conversation, I see where I missed the clues. However, not in a million years would I guess Lila and Jones. He’s not her type; besides many reasons, the biggest one is that he’s a person of commitment and Lila is not. “I was not expecting that at all.” My body just sits in complete shock.
“Sorry, Rose, I feel like I broke some sort of girlfriend code but hell, this is all new to me.”
“I’m not mad, just confused. Jones is not who I would expect to be your type. Even on your tamer side, he’s just so polar opposite. Wait, what is more polar opposite than polar opposite?” I see a speck of excitement in her eyes; not even the hottie movie star she was seeing did this for her.