by Mari Mancusi
“Skye!” the guy cries as he rushes over, throwing his arms around me. Alarmed by his sudden embrace, I jump back, but he grabs on, clamping down on my shoulders with strong hands. Reflexively, I knee him in the groin. He stumbles backward, hunching over, hands over his privates. His squints up at me, his expression a mix of physical agony and mental anguish. Suddenly I feel bad that I hurt him. Though, in my defense, he shouldn’t have just jumped me like that.
“Nice to see you again, too, Skye,” he says, retreating to the cot. He slumps down and it groans under his weight. “Déjà vu all over again, I guess.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I demand, keeping my back to the cell door. “And who are you? And who—” I start to ask about my own identity, but think twice before the words escape my lips. I might not want to let on how vulnerable I am right now. He may try to take advantage. Make up some story to get me on his side before he rapes and murders me.
The guy stares at me for a minute, with a level of horror I’ve never seen before on a face. (At least that I can remember.) Then he buries his face in his hands and wails. “God!” he says. “I can’t do this again. I just can’t.”
I shift from left hip to right, not sure what to do, what to say. The poor guy looks completely devastated and I have no idea why.
“Look, guy,” I try. “I’m sorry I kneed you and all. But I’m a bit lost, you see. Not sure where I am or what I’m doing here. First I wake up in four-point restraints. Then I’m dragged into this disgusting cell. Then you jump all over me and …” I shrug. “I assumed the worst, I guess.”
The man draws in a deep breath. “Right. I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just happy to see you alive. I forgot for a moment that you wouldn’t remember me.” He scrubs his face with his hands, then rises from the couch, hand outstretched. “Hello, I’m Dawn Grey, your fellow prisoner here in the Terran government jail.”
I stick out my hand hesitantly. He takes it and pumps it twice. His grip is strong, firm, but there’s a bit of a tremble just beneath the surface.
I decide to go for it. Who knows, maybe he can help me. We are both stuck in the same cell. “Do you know who I am, by chance?” I ask, crossing my fingers he’ll be able to at least answer that.
“Yes. Of course,” he says. “You’re Skye Brown.”
Okay, we have a name. I run it through my brain to check for resonance. Nothing. But at least I have something to call myself now. “And why are we here, locked up?” I question. “Did we commit some sort of crime?” Could I be a bad guy? That seems so unlikely, yet why else would I be behind bars in a government prison?
“If you call fighting for freedom a crime,” Dawn says cryptically.
“God, I wish I could remember,” I groan, plopping down on the cot and rubbing my temples.
“It’s probably not worth trying too hard,” Dawn says, sitting down beside me. “They’re only going to fill your brain with new memories in a few hours. I doubt you’ll remember any of this conversation.”
I look up. “New memories? What about my old ones?”
“They erased them.”
“Erased my memories? You mean, like, on purpose?” I stare at him, even more baffled than before. “Why would anyone want to do that?”
Dawn shrugs. “Because they need you to convince a bunch of innocent people to spend a great deal of money on something that will kill them.”
I don’t understand half of what he’s talking about. But I do know one thing. “Look, I may not know who I am, but I do know there’s no way I’d do something that would end up with people being killed.”
“Not now. But you will tomorrow. Because when they implant new memories in you, you’ll suddenly believe that Moongazing’s the ticket to happiness. And you won’t remember anything about the dangers.”
I slump my shoulders, defeated and scared. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but none of it sounds good. If only I could remember something!
I feel a warm breath on my cheek and turn to face Dawn. He slowly reaches out and cups my chin in his hand, finding my eyes. It’s as if he’s searching somehow, desperately attempting to locate my lost self deep inside. I stare back at him, trying as hard as I can to remember his face. His earnest, soulful eyes. How could I forget someone as beautiful as him? How could I forget my own self?
“Don’t worry, Skye,” he whispers, gently brushing away the lone tear that’s dripped down my cheek. “I won’t let them hurt you. I can’t stop them from implanting new memories in you, but I do promise that somehow, some way, I’ll save you in the end.” He pauses, his eyes cloudy. “You won’t remember me when I do. In fact, you’ll probably think I’m some crazy person set on kidnapping you. But it doesn’t matter.”
He drops my gaze and stares down at his lap. “And then I’ll just start over,” he says, more to himself than me. “I’ll make you love me again. Somehow. Some way. If it takes the rest of my life, I’ll never give up. They can erase your memory a hundred times. I won’t stop making you love me all over again.” He rises from his seat and begins to pace the cell. “I once gave up on Mariah. I let her go. Let her pursue her own death. I won’t make that mistake again.” He stands above me, then drops to his knees, grabbing my hands in his and squeezing them tightly. “I’ll protect you, Skye, no matter what. I’ll never let go.”
I can feel tears cascading down my cheeks like so much rain. The passion and meaning in his words are overwhelming, almost too much to bear. He loves me. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Have I been deserving of such an epic love? Did I once feel the same about him? And if so, how could I have forgotten? How could such powerful, life-changing love have slipped through the cracks of my consciousness and flowed uselessly down a drain?
I throw myself into Dawn’s arms, unable to resist the offered comfort. I start to sob into his shoulder, out of frustration, out of fear, out of anger at all that has been stolen from my mind without my permission. Through it all, Dawn holds me tight, stroking my back with both hands, kissing me softly on the side of my neck.
“I love you, Skye Brown,” he murmurs. “And somehow, someday, you will love me again, too. I promise.”
And the scary thing is, I realize as I cuddle closer, I think I already do.
TWENTY-FOUR
I cry for a long time, but eventually, the tears dry up and the sobs start to trail off. Dawn pulls me onto the cot and we cuddle. He feels so good, arms wrapped around me protectively, and I snuggle in closer. I may not remember him, but I believe with everything left inside me that he’s someone I can trust. After a while, my eyelids grow heavy and sleep overtakes me.
When I awake, I find Dawn leaning over me, watching me with intense eyes.
“What?” I ask self-consciously, sitting up, wondering what he could be staring at.
His face reddens. “Sorry,” he says. “I just didn’t want to miss a single memory of you lying here next to me.”
I smile. “You’re sweet.”
“Maybe sometimes,” he says, grinning shyly. “But only to you.”
I cuddle back into his outstretched arms again, seeking that loving warmth he’s only too ready to offer. He smoothes my hair and kisses me softly on top of my head. And even though we’re in a disgusting prison cell, a small part of me wants this moment to last forever.
It doesn’t, however. Only minutes later the door bursts open and the two guards step into the prison. We jump to our feet and Dawn grips me tightly.
“Time for phase two,” one of the guards announces. “Let’s go.”
“No. We want to see Duske first,” Dawn says, keeping a firm grip on me.
The guards laugh. “Yeah? Well, Brother Bill and I would like to see Sleazy Sheena down at the strip club. But right now, it looks like none of us are gonna get our wishes.” He holds up his club. “Want another taste of this? Come on, big boy. Have at me.”
Dawn swallows hard, then turns to me. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “There’s nothing I can do now. B
ut I promise I will come for you. Try to hold on to that thought. That, and the fact that I love you. More than I can ever explain.”
I can feel the tears spring to my eyes again, and I throw myself into his arms for a final hug. I feel like I’ve only known him a few hours and yet the bond between us is unbearable to break. But the guards aren’t in the mood to wait for our hug to come to its natural conclusion. They yank me backward by the collar, wrenching me from Dawn’s grasp. Our fingers lock for one moment and our eyes meet, a thousand truths passing between us in just one glance. Then I’m pulled out of the cell, kicking and screaming. Try as I might, I can’t fight them. They’re too strong.
They drag me down the hallway and back into the operating room where I first woke up. The man in the white coat is still here. He nods to the guards after they strap me to the bed. “Thank you,” he says. “You may leave now. I’d like to begin the procedure.”
The guards hesitate by the door. “We were ordered to stay,” one informs the doc. “In case she causes trouble.”
The doctor snorts. “This little lamb?” he asks, giving me a disdainful look. “I think I can handle one little girl. Besides, when she wakes up, she’s going to think we’re best friends.”
“Like hell,” I growl, but no one pays attention.
The guards grunt, then head toward the exit. Maybe they figure they can go catch that strip show after all. The doctor closes the door behind them. Then he heads back to my bedside, his casual expression fading into one that’s much more serious.
“Don’t worry,” he says in a low voice that I have to strain to hear. “I’m an Eclipser. I’m on your side here.”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” I hiss back. “Erasing my memories and all.”
He frowns. “Listen to me. I had to make it appear genuine. That you really had lost all your memories so they would believe the procedure was a success. But I didn’t erase them. Not really. They’ve simply been flash-frozen in your brain. Everything you knew before the operation is still intact—it’s just inaccessible to you at the moment. But now I’m going to flash-bake you, reactive your cerebral cortex. You’ll be yourself in just a few more minutes.”
I stare at him, eyes wide, hoping, praying, begging that what he says is actually true. “So, I’ll get all my memories back?” I ask, crossing my fingers for an affirmative.
“It’ll be as if you never lost them,” the doctor says with a nod as he places a gel cap, threaded with wires, over my head. “But you can’t let anyone know you’ve got them back. You have to promise to act as if I injected the new memories just as they ordered me to. Once the procedure is complete, you have to start playing the part of Mariah. A Mariah who’s been living on Earth and loves it there.” He plugs a cord leading from the cap into a tall, thin red metallic machine by my bedside. “You’ll understand this better once you get your memories back.”
“I hope so,” I say. “Because at the moment I really don’t have any clue as to what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t worry. You will,” the doctor says, patting me on the shoulder. “Very soon.”
He flips a switch on the metallic machine and the cap begins to heat. It feels as if lightning bolts are piercing my skull and bugs are burrowing into my brain. I open my mouth to scream—
And suddenly I remember everything.
“Dawn!” I cry out before I can stop myself.
The doctor rushes to my bedside and clamps a hand over my mouth. “Do you want to get us both killed?” he hisses. “Remember what I told you! You have to pretend you’re Mariah.”
“Sorry,” I mutter. But Mariah loved Dawn, too. “Listen,” the doctor says in a hurried voice. “The Eclipsers are mobilizing. They’re planning to sabotage the Moongazing seminar, just like they tried to do before. But this time, there’s no one to stop them. When you get there, just follow their lead, okay? Pay attention and you’ll realize what you need to do.” He removes his hand from my mouth. “So, Mariah,” he calls out in a loud cheerful voice. “Are you excited about speaking at the Moongazing seminar?”
“Oh yes,” I say, matching his tone. “I can’t wait to tell everyone about how wonderful Earth is. And how wrong I was to lead a revolution against the government who’s found us such a paradise.”
“Uh, let’s not overkill,” the doctor whispers.
“Mariah, darling!” Duske calls out, choosing that moment to swagger through the door. “It’s so good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back, Brother Duske,” I say, watching as he removes my restraints. “Though, of course, I miss my home. When do you think I’ll be able to return to Earth?”
“All in good time, my dear, all in good time,” he says. Out of the corner of my eye I catch him giving the doctor a thumbs-up. “But first, remember, I need you to speak at my seminar tonight. To tell the Indys all about the amazing new world you have discovered on Earth.”
“Right,” I say, sitting up and shaking out my wrists and ankles. “I’d love to. After all, who wouldn’t want to go to Earth? In fact, I don’t know why more Indys haven’t migrated there already. It’s a true Garden of Eden.”
“Indeed, my dear,” Duske says. He gives a smirk that I’d like nothing more than to smack off his face. “Indeed.”
We leave the surgery center and Duske escorts me back to his mansion, setting me up in my old bedroom. I notice that someone has scrubbed away all the bloodstains. Once I’m alone, I lie back on the bed, staring up at its canopy, wondering how Dawn is faring back in the prison. I only wish there was some way to get word to him. To let him know I have my memories back. I can’t bear the idea of the poor guy languishing in his dirty cell, thinking he’s lost me all over again. If only I could tell him that I’m okay. That I remember his love for me. And mine for him.
I look over at the clock. Three hours till the seminar. I wonder what kind of sabotage the Eclipsers have planned. What will they say? And will they really be able to prove to the Indys what a death trap their government has created?
They have to. The entire future of the world rides on what happens tonight.
TWENTY-FIVE
The Moongazing convention is being held in a large auditorium in the center of Luna Park. From what I can see from my quick peek behind the curtain, the place is packed beyond capacity. I guess the infamous Mariah Quinn as keynote speaker really draws them in. Fine by me. The more people who hear the truth, the better.
In my hands I shuffle through the pages of the speech Duske prepared for me. The one I’m not planning to read. I wonder how quickly the government will catch on and realize that I’m condemning them rather than reciting their propaganda. Perhaps it’ll be once they hear the word paradise replaced with deadly virtual reality that will burn out your eyes and rot your brain. Or maybe it will be when I replace the words new life with genocide, designed to rob you of your cash and vital organs. How much will I be able to tell them before I’m dragged offstage? And will I be sentenced to death for my crimes against the government, or will they attempt another erase?
A lump forms in my throat. I know I have to do this. So many lives depend on it. But at the same time, I don’t want to die. Especially not before I see Dawn again. Not that I’m positive he’s still alive himself. Would they have killed him? Did he die thinking I’d forgotten who he was? If only I could have one more minute with him. One brief moment to throw my arms around him and squeeze him tight and let him know that I remember everything. Every whisper, every caress, every evocation of love.
At least if he’s still alive he’ll hear of my last act, when word of my speech trickles down through the underground. At least he’ll know that I sacrificed my life for the people. I hope he realizes that every word will be dedicated to him.
“It’s almost time, my dear,” Duske says, coming up behind me and yanking me from my troubled thoughts. “Are you ready for your glorious debut?”
I turn around and toss him a guileless smile. “I’m ready,” I
say brightly. “So very ready.”
“Good,” he says. “I will go out and introduce you. Warm up the crowd a bit. When I call your name, you step out onto the stage and then read the speech that I gave you.” He pats me on the shoulder. “We’ll have the slides you took of Earth projected onto a large screen behind you. Feel free to reference those as you speak.”
“Great. I can do that.”
Duske smiles, then leans forward and kisses me lightly on the cheek. It takes all my willpower not to swipe away the moisture he leaves behind on my skin. Instead, I force myself to return the gesture. “I’m glad we’re working together now, Brother Duske,” I say softly, looking up through my lashes.
He grins like the fool he is and ruffles my hair. God, didn’t he learn his lesson the first time around? And who gets off hooking up with clones, anyway?
“My dear,” he says, “I do believe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
Oh, so do I, Duske. So do I.
He steps out to center stage and gestures for the stagehand to get the show on the road. A moment later, the curtains slide apart and the senator is illuminated by a single spotlight. From backstage left, I can now see out into the crowd. It’s standing room only and everyone’s going wild, cheering, screaming. It makes me sick. I hope they have brains enough to listen to what I have to say.
“Thank you, thank you!” Duske says, leaning into a microphone. A whiny feedback hisses for a moment, then dies away. “But I’m not the one you should be applauding. For tonight, as you know, we have a very special guest. She just arrived from Earth, where she has spent the last few months living a brand-new life. A life aboveground, out in the sunshine. A life full of new friends and new relationships. Untold riches and the companionship of animals. In short, our guest is much like the legendary Eve of the Bible—and she has been to Earth and found a real-life Garden of Eden.”