“Does starting over mean you’re going to repeat that bit about how some women can’t handle your being blind? Because I’m tired of men deciding they know what we can handle.”
Matt was starting to think Gemma could handle anything. It scared him in several ways, but he’d be a fool not to find out where this could go between them.
“I wouldn’t be stupid enough to say that again.”
Gemma chuckled. “Good, you’re learning. Now, let’s finish recording that book.”
Matt made another gesture and Pepper returned, standing patiently as he put the harness back on. He could tell that she was thrilled to see Gemma.
Which reminded him...
“How is your arm, Gemma? And the rest of your bruises?”
“They turned into a revolting yellow-and-green patchwork with purple undertones, then faded away. I’ve stopped wrapping my wrist, even though it still aches.”
She was good at painting visual pictures. And not just with words, but tone. No surprise. It was one of the reasons she was a great reader.
“I’m glad you’re recovering. I have an interesting proposition from the publisher,” he explained as they walked toward the studio.
“What kind of proposition?”
“If you let me take you to lunch, I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Pizza and a beer?”
“Nah. First dates should be somewhere nicer.”
For a moment all he heard was a quick intake of breath. “Sure. That sounds good.”
* * *
ON WEDNESDAY MORNING Rachel checked on several photo shoots for her clients, then stopped at Pike Place Market to search for a dream catcher to give Livvie. She’d already looked for one at the Crystal Connection and other shops near the agency and was beginning to think she’d never find what she wanted.
She hadn’t heard from Simon since the evening they’d had dinner at the café, but on Monday she’d made sure an invoice went out for her “consulting” services. In a way it made her uncomfortable, yet it wasn’t fair to her partners at Moonlight Ventures to be less than professional.
Rachel went from store to store at the market before locating a dream catcher she thought was relatively authentic. At the very least it was on a willow hoop and the feathers weren’t dyed. Before talking with Gemma she hadn’t known Livvie was having nightmares, and she hoped the symbolism of the dream catcher would help.
Her next dilemma was figuring out how to give it to Livvie without upsetting her father. She couldn’t exactly hang out at the parking garage, hoping to see them when Simon took her to school. But when she arrived back at the agency she found both Simon and Livvie waiting in the lobby.
“There’s Rachel,” Livvie shrieked and ran to give her a hug. “It’s been days and days. I missed you,” she declared fervently.
“I missed you, too. Here, this is a gift.” Rachel gave her the bag she carried. “It’s a Native American tradition. They say it helps stop bad dreams.”
Livvie’s eyes widened as she took out the dream catcher. “How does it work?”
“You put it above your bed. The bad dreams are supposed to get caught in the netting, but the good ones are smart enough to slip through, sliding down the feathers to reach you.”
“Ooh, it’s pretty. What are these?” She touched the beads woven into the pattern.
“They’re turquoise. It’s a beautiful stone and there’s a legend that it can protect you. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to be careful, but we all need help sometimes.”
Livvie’s expression was awed. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s splendid.”
“You’re very welcome.” Rachel glanced at Simon. “I didn’t know we had an appointment today.”
“We didn’t.” He looked embarrassed. “But Gemma isn’t back until a week from next Monday and Livvie’s school had an early day. We’re hoping you’ll have lunch with us.”
“Rachel, you don’t have any commitments this afternoon,” Chelsea interjected, “so you’re free.”
Rachel stared at her and received an innocent smile in return. The last time she’d talked to Chelsea about Simon, the office manager’s opinion of him had been decidedly negative. She went over to the reception desk. “Chelsea, are you sure I don’t have anything on my schedule?”
“Positive. Isn’t this nice? Nicole and Adam were just saying you work through too many lunches and need more breaks.”
“They’re fine ones to talk,” Rachel muttered. It was only after Adam had fallen in love with Cassie and Nicole with Jordan that they’d stopped spending insane hours at the agency. She threw her shoulders back and returned to where Simon and Livvie were waiting. “Since it appears I’m free, it would be lovely to have lunch together.”
“Excellent.” Simon gestured to the door. “Shall we?” Livvie ran to the car and he leaned close to whisper, “Didn’t some Native American warriors believe turquoise helped them in battle? Livvie isn’t going into battle.”
Rachel shrugged. “I’m not sure. It’s just something I heard as a kid. The important thing is to help Livvie feel safe and protected and this might help. But don’t worry, I’m not getting ideas about becoming her mother,” she teased, a small smile playing on her lips.
* * *
LATELY SIMON’S ASSUMPTIONS had been taking a beating, especially the ones about Rachel. He was even starting to understand why his wife had often claimed he was behaving foolishly.
“Who’s worried? You’d be a fabulous mother,” he declared and meant it. “Is something wrong?” he asked when Rachel remained silent.
“No, just remembering lost dreams. The other day I was thinking I could become an official-type cat lady like Hannah. In spite of one or two setbacks, I’ve finally won Binx over. He’s become the most amazing cuddle bug.”
“I’m convinced you could do anything, but what about your clients?”
“I’d just do official cat lady as a sideline.”
Simon chuckled.
He’d worried that he had messed things up with Rachel, but she seemed to have a generous capacity for forgiveness. She’d become far more than a business consultant. Sometimes she seemed able to peer into his soul...the dark parts he didn’t want to acknowledge. More important, she was willing to shine a light into those dark places and make him look at himself and do better.
Rachel had said he held a grudge against the design house, and after days of soul-searching, he’d realized it was true.
He was a workaholic, but his wife had been consumed heart and soul by her career. Even when they’d agreed to put family first, he’d changed more than she had, which was why the picture books bothered him. But Rachel had made a valid point when she’d said creative people couldn’t just turn that part of themselves off. And no matter what else they represented, the books had probably been the best way for Liv to share herself with their daughter.
And how could he begrudge Livvie something that made her feel connected to her mother’s memory? He’d avoided talking about Olivia after her death, thinking it would be hard on his daughter to be reminded her mother was gone. Instead, he’d probably just made the loss worse for them both.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SOMEHOW LUNCH WITH Livvie and Simon ended up as a trip to Bainbridge Island on the ferry. They ate at a restaurant overlooking the Puget Sound while Rachel told them about different sights on the island, including Bloedel Reserve, a public garden that spanned a hundred and fifty acres. Livvie was so excited, Rachel agreed to explore it with them.
“This place is amazing,” Simon said as they visited different sections of the reserve. “I had no idea there was so much to see on Bainbridge Island.”
“I haven’t been here since I was eleven, though I wrote a paper about Mr. Bloedel in high school,” Rachel explained. “How did you end up in Washington, anyway? I’ve got t
he impression you grew up on the East Coast.”
“I lived in Maryland until I was eleven, then it was Chicago.”
“Daddy met Mommy on a business trip,” Livvie chirped. “He says it was love at first sight. They got married after just a week. Isn’t that splendid?”
“Yes, it was.” Rachel cast a sideways glance at Simon.
He’d mentioned his marriage had been fast, but a week? She wouldn’t have thought he believed in love at first sight, so the attraction must have been extraordinarily powerful to knock his cynical distrust for a loop.
Livvie skipped ahead on the trail and they lengthened their stride to keep her in view.
“This is quite a place,” Simon commented, obviously trying to direct the subject away from personal matters. “We should have got a picnic and eaten here.”
“Picnics aren’t allowed. I think the idea is for visitors to simply connect with nature. Mr. Bloedel was a lumberman and this became his legacy.”
Simon didn’t say anything for a long minute. “Well, thanks to you, Liv’s legacy may survive for our daughter.”
A rush of conflicting emotions caught Rachel by surprise, anger, sorrow...regret. It wouldn’t be easy to continue being friends with Simon, knowing there would never be anything more between them. He’d called Olivia the love of his life and was devoted to her memory.
Another woman couldn’t compete with that.
“I just did what you asked,” Rachel said lightly, resisting the urge to add that she’d done what he was paying her to do. It could come off as confrontational and she didn’t want to get into a disagreement on such a nice day.
“You did more than I thought was possible. By the way, I hired the two designers we talked about last Friday. They’re going to work on storyboards and technical flats for the next collection at a temporary location. I didn’t want to expose them to Janine and Miriam while they’re still here to finish the current line.”
“I see. You know, the funding you gave to medical research is another legacy.”
Simon appeared to tense, then relax. “Thankfully Livvie doesn’t have a genetic predisposition for what took her mother, but I still thought it was important for her future.”
“It’s important for a lot of children’s futures. I suspect you’re a softy at heart and don’t want to admit it, just like Rocky and Binx.”
“Hardly. They’re neutered and I’m not.”
Rachel smiled at his joke.
Just then they reached a wilder section of the reserve and it was as beautiful and raw as she remembered. In his own way, Prentice Bloedel had been an artist, with the northwest landscape as his canvas.
“Eeyoooh,” Livvie exclaimed. “Look, Daddy.” She pointed to a huge olive green slug creeping along a decaying log.
“That’s a banana slug,” Rachel told her softly. “They’re an important part of the forest.”
“It’s icky.”
Simon crouched next to his daughter. “Not to another banana slug. He’s probably a very handsome fellow to a lady slug.”
Rachel remembered that banana slugs weren’t strictly male or female, but it wasn’t important. “Livvie, did you know banana slugs can be bright yellow? Sometimes they have spots on the yellow.”
“Like a banana.”
“That’s right. Like a ripe banana.”
It was a while before Livvie lost interest in the slug. Her fascination with the great outdoors seemed boundless and Rachel wondered if she’d ever visited a place where nature ruled.
“This is nice,” Simon whispered, his voice almost reverential.
“It is. It truly is.” Rachel undid the top buttons of her coat, feeling warm despite the chilly breeze. “I’ve noticed how much Livvie loves the lake and nature in general. If she becomes a designer, she may want a studio out in the woods. She might even end up in sportswear, rather than high fashion.”
Simon grinned and Rachel was glad he knew she was teasing.
“Could be. Who knows?”
* * *
SIMON LOOKED AT his daughter, thinking she was rarely interested in the balcony garden attached to the condo, but he had to admit, it seemed more like an imitation than the real thing.
“We need to visit spots like this more often,” he said.
“I know what you mean. In Los Angeles you can’t go anywhere without being surrounded by crowds. Even the beach is covered with people. Here there are places so quiet, you could believe you’re the only person for miles.”
“Luckily a coffee shop isn’t that far away.”
Rachel chuckled. “That’s because you’re addicted to having a barista on every street corner. Did you love coffee this much before moving to the Northwest?”
“I had my moments.”
After another hour Simon suggested they call it a day. Livvie was getting tired and he didn’t want Rachel to overtax her leg. She was so proud and stubborn she probably wouldn’t tell him if it was hurting more than usual.
“How about dinner at the Just Like Home Café?” he asked as they rode the ferry back to Seattle.
“That isn’t necessary.”
“I didn’t say it was necessary, I asked if you wanted to eat with us. We had an active afternoon in cold, fresh air, and I keep thinking about the mulligan stew I saw on the café’s menu.”
Rachel made a scoffing noise. “Have you ever eaten stew?”
“No, but the meat loaf sandwich was good and I’m open to new experiences. We can go straight to the Carthage and walk to the café. In the morning I’ll give you a ride to Moonlight Ventures when I take Livvie to school.”
“Please come, Rachel,” Livvie pleaded.
“You aren’t playing fair, asking in front of her,” Rachel said sotto voce.
He grinned. “I didn’t know she was listening.”
* * *
THOUGH RACHEL QUESTIONED the wisdom of spending even more time with Simon and Livvie, she enjoyed the meal. But it was too much like being a family, and she didn’t want to start hoping for more.
When they were walking back toward the Carthage, she noticed a long limousine parked in the loading zone in front of the building.
“We don’t see many limos in this neighborhood. I wonder who it is,” she mused.
A moment later the driver opened the back door. Simon growled something under his breath as the passenger emerged.
“Somebody you know?” Rachel asked.
“You could say that. What are you doing here?” he called to the other man. “And how did you get this address?”
“I have my ways. You wouldn’t return my calls. What else was I supposed to do?”
Simon turned to her. “Rachel, would you take Livvie up to your condo?” The urgency in his voice was unmistakable.
“Of course.” She held out her hand to Livvie. “Let’s go upstairs, hon.”
“Just a minute. We haven’t been introduced,” the newcomer declared, stepping into their path and staring at Rachel. “I’m Richard Kessler, and you’re positively delicious.”
Richard Kessler, as in Simon’s father?
Rachel narrowed her eyes. Richard might think he was being charming, but the fact he didn’t even glance at his granddaughter appalled her.
“You’re in my way,” she said coolly.
“Come now, I know I’ve seen you before. I heard Simon call you Rachel. Don’t I get more than that?”
“It’s Rachel Clarion. Good night.”
“Ah, yes. Clarion. You used to be a model.” His quick gaze seemed to flick all over her body, but most especially her face. “A lifetime of great nights would never be enough with you, gorgeous. How would you like to fly to Paris for breakfast?”
Ugh. Simon’s mother must have been very young and impressionable to fall for him. While Richard was a handsome man who wore his age w
ell, he positively oozed snake oil.
“I wouldn’t cross the street with you,” Rachel said crisply. “Come along, sweetie.”
Livvie seemed confused, but she obediently walked into the Carthage lobby. “Who is that, Rachel?”
“Somebody your daddy knows.” Rachel punched the elevator button and it immediately opened.
“But his name is Kessler, too.”
“It’s, uh, really complicated. Ask your daddy when he gets here.” She pressed the button for the second floor and was grateful when the elevator closed and the car moved upward. For once the small space didn’t bother her. She was just grateful to get away from the slimy jerk downstairs.
Once they were inside the condo, she locked the door and wished she could take a shower. No wonder Simon disliked his father so much. They didn’t share a single shred of common ground as far she was concerned.
Binx regarded Livvie warily, but he didn’t move...probably because he felt safe on the floor-to-ceiling cat tree Rachel had got installed over the weekend.
“Livvie, do you want to watch Finding Nemo again?” she asked. She’d purchased a handful of child-friendly movies when Livvie stayed with her the first time.
“Okay.”
Soon she was settled on the couch, her eyelids drooping as the animated film began to play.
Rachel got out a patchwork quilt her grandmother had made and tucked it around Livvie before sitting down herself...all the while wondering what was happening on the street below.
* * *
SIMON SENT A hard look at Richard. He hadn’t seen his father since shortly after his marriage, and had never expected to see him again. “As I said, why are you here?”
Richard spread his hands. “Is it a crime to miss my son? I wanted to see you.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Surely you don’t think I’m holding a grudge because you took over my company? I made money on the deal. I told you that when I met your wife.”
“And then promptly insulted her.”
Family by Design Page 20