“Wha—What are you?” he spits out, stumbling backward.
I stagger forward with the intent to burn him a little so he can feel pain the way I do, the way he made my Branor feel.
My hand collides with his shoulder, my fingertips digging into his skin.
But instead of merely scorching him a little, I watch in horror as the flames spread across his body, consuming every inch of the man.
I fall backwards, my startled eyes locked onto the sight before me.
His anguished blood curdling screams pierce my heart.
His skin blisters and appears to melt before me. The acrid smell overtaking my senses.
I can hear people screaming and shouting all around me as I push myself along the ground nearer to Branor.
The mob of people that were attacking me are now trying to douse the flaming man. But no amount of water can dampen the raging inferno.
I watch in horror as the man slowly begins to melt, his skin peeling from his body.
His tormented cries lessen as he fades before my eyes, until all that remains is a bloody pile of ash where the man once stood.
“Alina?”
Branor’s groggy voice startles me. My haunted eyes collide with his sorrowful expression.
“I… I… I… didn’t mean to. I just want—” I stammer, “—I just wanted to scare him a little. I never m… I never meant for that to happen. I… I couldn’t stop myself.”
My tears cascade down my cheeks, cooling my skin.
I glimpse at my hands and I’m relieved they’re no longer on fire.
“Bran… Branor… I couldn’t stop it. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
I feel my breathing pick up, sucking in desperate lungfuls of air.
Branor pushes himself up from the filthy ground and reaches for me to pull me closer.
I collapse into his strong arms, clinging to his overshirt as if he would be taken away from me at any moment.
“Shhh, shhh. Birdy. It’ll be alright.” Branor cradles me in his arms, smoothing my hair as I soak his shirt with my endless tears.
“Murderer!”
“Monster!”
The voices around me seem muffled and far away, I am safe within Branor’s arms.
The first rock hits me in the back of my head, quickly followed by another and another.
The rocks are pelting not only me, but Branor as well. He tries to shield me from the majority of them with his strong body.
Branor drags me to my feet, we try to stumble away. My limbs feel heavy and sore. I can barely stand let alone run. But Branor pulls me along until I can’t move any further.
He scoops his arms underneath my legs and carries me. I cling to him as if he’s the only thing keeping me grounded. He breaks into a run.
I peer over his shoulder to see dozens of blood thirsty people chasing after us, throwing rocks and bellowing curses.
I turn away from their murderous stares and bury my face into my love’s shirt.
His pace picks up and he holds me closer, realizing we are running for our lives.
My heart feels like it’s sagging into a deep pit of despair.
They’re right. They have always been right.
I am a monster.
‘SHADOWBOLT’
I watch in despair as Alina begins to shut down again in front of me.
Her eyes are glazed over and I try to make sense of the jumbled thoughts within her mind. But I can’t seem to make anything out. A haze of guilt, pain, and anguish is all I can sense.
“Alina? Sparky? Come back to me.”
No response. This poor woman has been through so much and all I want to do is help.
How can I help when I can’t seem to get through to her?
How can I help when I can’t even be myself?
I watch as Alina is trapped within her own mind and I stand here, trapped within my own.
Powerless to help.
Many Centuries Ago…
“My mistress. What do you require?” I say with a bow.
“I’m bored my pet. I need more books. Would you care to go to the library and grab me a couple?” She replies with a pensive gaze.
“Of course, my mistress.” I swallow back a lump in my throat. “Is that all? You seem distressed.”
“No more than usual my dear. With everything going on I’m surprised I’m not worse. But unfortunately, it is what it is.” She exhales a shaky breath, looking away from me.
“Is it about the village? About Eb—”
“Do not mention their names. Never in my presence. Is that clear?” She jerks her head to face me, glaring.
“Yes mistress. I apologize. I was out of turn.” I bow again, not taking my eyes off of the woman in front of me.
It seems strange to call the Goddess before me a woman. With her ebony skin and raven hair, she could look like any woman. But it is her eyes that reveal her true form.
Glowing white orbs tinged with blue stare back at me. All knowing, all seeing.
She is Neris, the Goddess of Knowledge and Wisdom. She is my mistress.
“No, I apologize, my dear. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. You are right. My distress is because of the village and what those… those depraved creatures did. I just...I…”
She falters, losing her footing and I dash forward to catch her fall.
“Are you alright mistress?” I ask helping her up.
“No. But I will be my dear boy.” She places her hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently, her bangles clang together lightly from her heavily adorned arms.
“Is there anything I could do to help mistress?”
She steps back, regarding me with a questioning look.
“No, unfortunately not.”
I cast my eyes to the floor, feeling useless as always.
Stepping toward me, she uses her hand to lightly cup my chin and bring my eyes up to face hers.
“But. Your time will come, my pet. Not now, not tomorrow. Probably not for centuries. But when the time is right, you will do more than help. You will be complete.”
I stare at her dumbfounded. Centuries? Why must I wait so long to help?
“Because my pet. All things happen for a reason. If it takes centuries, then so be it. You will be ready when the time comes, I will make sure of that.”
She places a gentle kiss to my forehead before stepping away from me.
“As you wish, my mistress.”
I bow once more and take my leave, heading toward the library to gather her books.
Present Day
Recovering from my memory I go to nudge my head against Alina, hoping to shake her out of her mind again.
I recoil as my nose makes contact with her head. Her skin feels extremely warm, too hot to even touch.
I don’t notice Killian behind me until I nearly crush the poor man.
“Hey, Boy. It’s okay. What’s wrong big fella?” Killian asks, reaching out to stroke my nose.
“I wish I could tell you, Sweetcheeks. I really do.” I reply, knowing full well he can’t hear me. Just another fun perk of not being human.
I’m too busy pitying myself I don’t notice Killian walking over to Alina.
“Alina? Are you okay, Love?” He reaches out to touch her cheek, I’m not fast enough to stop him from injuring himself.
“Oww! What the fuck!” Jerking his hand back I can see his skin has already started to blister from making contact with her burning skin.
“K… Killian?” Alina's shaken voice whispers out, “What… what’s going on?”
She notices him clutching his hand close to his body with a baffled look pointed straight at her.
“No. Gods no. Did… did I do that? Killian, I’m so sorry. I… I can’t always control it. It just happens. I’m sorry,” she stammers, stepping toward him.
“I… I’m alright, Love. Don’t worry about me. Are you alright? You feel as hot as fire. Do you need a doctor?”
He doesn’t move as Alina steps closer or as she reaches out
to take his hand in hers. He just stares at her dumbfounded.
I’m in awe at how he just watches her grasp his hand, not shouting or freaking out.
I watch as she raises her other hand and places it over Killian’s burnt fingers, clasping them between hers.
Her eyes are fixed on his, holding his gaze as a soft golden light swirls around their fingers.
Killian glances down to where the light is radiating from and his eyes widen. He looks back up to Alina and then back to his hand, his mouth hanging open.
“Wha… wha… what’s happening?” His eyes are now fixed on his hand.
Alina moves hers out of the way and Killian lifts his hand to his face. Spreading his fingers he turns it over and over, taking in his now blemish free skin.
“How? How did you do that?” he croaks, finally looking to Alina.
“I’m not like everyone else. I… can do certain things.” She wraps her arms around herself, staring at the floor.
“Are… are you a witch? Was that magic? Are you going to turn me into a toad?”
Even with his questions, he still holds his ground, not looking away from the woman trying to cocoon herself away from the world.
“No, I’m not a witch. I—” She releases a shuddery breath, before looking to me.
“Go on, Sparky, tell him. He’s still here, even after witnessing that. Just tell him what you are.” I try to reassure her.
“How can I tell him what I am? I can’t take anyone else treating me like a freak.”
“Just try. If he sees you as that, then it’s his loss. We will walk out of here together and not look back, if we need to.”
She gives a small nod and turns back to Killian, who’s patiently waiting for an explanation.
“I am not a witch. But I am not entirely human either,” she takes one last look at me before focusing on him again. “I am a phoenix.”
“A phoenix? What, like one of those fiery bird things?”
“I’m fiery yes, but I’m not a bird. I don’t think I can change into one of those. But I do possess the other gifts.”
“Like what?” I notice Killian taking a step toward her.
“As you unfortunately found out, I can produce fire. I don’t always have control over it, especially when the flashbacks hit, but I do try my best. I’m sorry you had to experience that.”
“No. No. Don’t worry about it, Love, you healed me. The part I think I’m more shocked about is the glowing light thingy. Do you have control over that all the time?”
Alina looks to Killian and then to me with such a haunted expression, I’m not sure what to think.
“No, I don’t always have control of it. Sometimes I can only heal myself. I’m sorry for hurting you. I can go straight away if you need me to.” She looks to the ground.
Killian takes the opportunity to step forward and place his thumb under her chin to make her look at him.
“Stop apologizing What’s done is done. Live in the moment remember? And no, you don’t need to go. You’re still welcome to stay, just try not to burn anything down. I kinda like this old place.” He smiles at her and she returns it with a faint curve of her lips.
“Thank you, Killian. I… I don’t know what to say. I—”
“Then don’t say anything. Just stay, okay?”
“Why?” she asks tilting her head.
“Why what?”
“Why are you not freaking out or trying to hurt me? I hurt you.”
“You also healed me. Can’t quite be mad at that now, can I? As for freaking out, I’ve seen stranger things on TV than what you just did. Besides, I think it would be sort of cool to have a phoenix around. I always wanted to be Harry Potter,” he chuckles awkwardly.
I can’t help laugh at that and Alina looks at me with a hint of a smile.
“You got a good one there, Sparky.” I nod to her and watch her faint smile turn to a beaming grin. Gods. That’s a sight I would never tire of.
“Thank you, Killian. So much. You don’t realize how much this means to me. To feel accepted, it’s just… everything. Thank you,” she replies, turning her smile to him.
“Anytime Love.”
Stepping back, he starts to head toward the doors.
“I’m gonna head back up to the house. Just came down to check on you both. Do you need anything before I go?”
“No, thank you. You’ve already done more than enough.”
“Aye, Love. I’ll see you later.”
With that he turns and leaves. Alina watches him walk away then turns to face me.
“Well, that was entertaining.” I chuckle.
Alina lets out a shaky laugh, her eyes glistening from unshed tears. I hope they’re happy ones.
“You can say that again. How has so much happened in so little time?”
“You’re asking me?”
“Well, I can’t exactly go in there and ask Killian, can I?” She replies with a faint glare. “The fact he just took in everything I just said about being a phoenix and he was just ‘oh okay’ is a miracle in itself. I just can’t quite believe it. Then, there’s you gatecrashing into my life with your sarcastic thoughts. It’s just...well, it’s just so much to take in. He’s the first person in centuries to really be kind to me without any hidden agendas, at least I don’t think he has.” She glances over my shoulder to where Killian had just left.
“How can that be? No one has truthfully been kind to you in that long? What about friends or lovers?”
She turns her attention back to me, letting out a weak laugh.
“Ha. When you potentially live forever and have monsters hunting you, it’s difficult to form connections. In the past, I have usually only stayed in one place for a short while. It’s not that I always want to leave, I just need to keep moving. Although sometimes, I wonder why I move so frequently, I’m always found one way or another. I swear I must give off a beacon saying ‘look, look, she’s over here’.”
“And lovers?” I question stepping toward her.
“Well, aren't you just a nosey parker? If you must know, I don’t do relationships. I mean I tried, many, many centuries ago, but that ended… well it just ended. So now I just get my kicks as and when I need it, which truth be told isn’t often. Kinda difficult to be horny when you need to watch your back all the time.”
As she talks, her entire face takes on a somber tone. Her lips that held a smile not too long ago are now downturned, her eyes are cast down to the ground, and her body begins to hunch forward as if she’s about to shut down again.
“Hey, hey Sparky. Don’t think about that now. Come on, everything will be okay, you’re safe now.”
“For now. How long before I need to run again? How long before I put Killian in more danger than either of us can handle? Hmm?” Her eyes shoot up to me, burning with worry. She’s nibbling her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood.
“I can’t answer that. I don’t know about everything that’s happening. I was only told so much I’m afraid.” I push my nose up against her, nudging her shoulder lightly, trying to offer any sense of comfort I can. I just wish it was more.
ALINA
I place my hand on Shadowbolt’s shoulder. I know he’s trying to make me feel better, but I suppose there’s only so much he can do. I take a deep breath, as his earthy scent fills my nostrils.
“I just wish I knew why this keeps happening. Why me?”
“You really don’t understand how you came to be?” Shadowbolt’s confusion laced voice has me looking up.
“No. Why would I? I didn’t exactly come with an instruction manual, detailing factory of origin, now did I?”
Shadowbolt exhales a deep breath as he steps away from me, my hand slips off his shoulder.
“Does the name Zevanna mean anything to you?”
“Um, yeah, if I remember right, isn’t she the Goddess of Nature and Balance? Why, what does she have to do with anything?”
“Maybe you should sit down.”
“Okay
?” Stepping back, I sit on one of the hay bales, and look expectedly to Shadowbolt, who begins to pace slowly.
“Many centuries ago, there was this small village, details of where it was are not important, all that matters is that is was destroyed. I… I’m not talking just burned down or broken a little, I mean completely and utterly destroyed. There was nothing left. Everything was burnt to cinders and the people,” he inhales deeply and releases his breath shakily, “the people were destroyed too. Not merely killed. They were tortured, flayed, dismembered, every unspeakable act you probably could never want to imagine. Men, women, children. Old or young, it didn’t matter. There was nothing left. Nothing but carcasses and debris.”
“What? Who would do such a thing?” My own voice is tremulous, trying not to think of my previous lives and how I had met similar fates.
“They do not matter. They are Gods, yet they are no more than scum, not worthy of a mention. What is worthy, is what resulted from that destruction,” he pauses, drawing in a sharp breath, “you.”
“M...me? What do you mean me? I don’t understand.”
“The Goddess Zevanna had witnessed the destruction, unable to stop or help. Powerless in the face of true evil. She wept. Tears of anguish left her body until they became pools at her feet. It was then she vowed no god could ever do that again. That there would be a way to stop them before they could harm anyone else. She used her magic to bind her tears with the flames raging across the village to create a creature with the power to destroy anything, even a God. She created a phoenix. She made you.”
I sit for a while, completely dumbfounded by Shadowbolt’s admission. I always knew I was a phoenix. It was kind of hard not to notice when you regenerate after dying, can burn things and heal… I try to swallow the large lump in my throat. Memories of my past are trying to push their way out. I force them back in and take a deep breath.
“So, I was born from flames and Zevanna’s tears? I just thought I must have just come to be. This is just… just so surreal… I just don’t know what to think anymore.” I exhale, leaning forward and placing my head in my hands. I was born to destroy.
Echoes of the Past (The Alina Chronicles Book 1) Page 6