My first shift happened when I was three summers old. One minute I was happily running along the halls, the next I was galloping.
I can still remember the noise my hooves made against the polished floor. My mistress had been watching me play when I changed. I can still remember the surprise on her face. Her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide.
She never scolded me or seemed angry for my shifting abilities. But I couldn’t help but notice disappointment clouding her features every time I did change. After my first time shifting, she began calling me Pet. I always wondered if she was upset with me because I wasn’t a normal human. However, whenever I ask her about it, she just tells me not to worry.
But I do worry. Ever since then, it has seemed like she is distancing herself from me. She’s more of a teacher now, instead of the kind woman I believed to be my mother.
She is still kind, but now she seems quick to anger and upset. I can never seem to do anything right unless I am the best in my studies, or the best at anything she wants me to do.
I try my hardest, nothing ever seems good enough. I want to be. I want to make her proud. I want her love or anyone’s love for that matter.
I am lonely.
But I don’t want to be.
Ten summers pass. They fly by so quick.
I’m now a fully-grown man. Yet I still live with my mistress. I’ve dreamt of leaving here and visiting all the places I was promised I could see when I was older. But nothing ever happened. Whenever I mention leaving to Neris she always tells me not yet, or it isn’t your time.
When will be my time? Must I forever stay here? I want to be free to make my own decisions and choices. To make my own way in life. However, the last thing I want to do is upset Neris. She has been good to me, always good. It’s not her fault I want more.
Some would probably say I’m being greedy. After all, I have never wanted for anything. Not for good food, good wine, education, or company. Admittedly, I have taken full advantage of the numerous women and the occasional man who have passed through these doors. Bed partners come and go, literally. I swear I must have the plague for how fast they jump out of my bed once we finish. I’m not perfect. There are often times I will indulge in more than one person in my bed. Anything to try and beat this emptiness I feel in my heart.
I’ve spoken to Neris about it countless times, I'm told I’m being silly and I should enjoy the comforts of a warm body or bodies while I can. She says nothing lasts forever, even though technically, we’re both immortal.
Pleasure is not something I lack, not in the slightest. But friendship, passion, love. Those are the things I crave the most. I want someone of my own. My only wish, yet I fear it will never come true. The courtesans can only hold my interest for so long.
I know Neris sends for them. I have never seen her indulge in any of them herself, which means they must be only for me. The only thing I can think is she sends them here so I don’t need to leave to find enjoyment. How can she not see I crave more than physical intimacy? I crave the emotional too.
Although I am free to roam the vast palace and grounds, I feel trapped. I may be surrounded by countless people, but I still feel alone.
When will it change?
Every summer that passed by was as dreary as the next.
Until the village.
Until her.
It was common knowledge what happened in the little village when Ebris and Vemnos paid them a visit.
Chaos. Destruction. Death.
The same thing happens every time they go near somewhere new, or somewhere that seems unspoiled. This time seems different though. Neris told me how Zevanna’s tears had created a very powerful phoenix. I must have eavesdropped on so many conversations about her. I wanted to know her. I was desperate to. I can’t even remember what it was that made me so desperate to be with her.
Maybe it was because they would describe how although she seemed soft and vulnerable, she was also stubborn and headstrong.
“Galen? Where are you? Why am I always looking for you, boy?”
Not again.
I swear after centuries I should be used to being at Neris’ beck and call.
I don’t resent her, not in the slightest. She has given me a comfortable life. Everything I have asked for over the centuries she has provided me with. Except letting me leave.
Every time I have ever asked her if I may leave, she tells me it’s not my time yet. She tells me I’m destined for something, but will never tell me what it is. “I’m here mistress. What do you need?” I call back just as she enters my room.
“At last. I swear I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” she sighs, stepping forward.
I am taller than her now, probably by at least a foot. For a Goddess, she is very petite. But I am not fooled by her small stature. Piss her off and you’ll feel her wrath to the other side of the universe.
I have seen what happens to people who displease her. One man, who she had caught raping one of the servants, had his eyes gouged out and his hands cut off. Her reasoning was he will never look upon another person or be able to touch them. She may have spared his life, but she cursed him to a worse fate. Did he deserve it? Yes, absolutely. Would I have done the same in her position? Probably not. But then again, I am no better, for I would have easily killed him for what he did, and then fed his corpse to the crows.
So no, I am no better than her. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, mistress.”
“Fine, fine, whatever. I have a proposition for you,” she takes a deep breath, wringing her hands together in what would appear a nervous gesture. But she’s never nervous.
“Anything for you mistress. How may I help?” I say with a quick bow.
“Do you remember some time ago I mentioned about the phoenix?”
“Why yes mistress. I try to remember everything you tell me.” It’s the honest truth. I’m blessed to have a brilliant memory. I can remember exact details from centuries ago as if they only happened yesterday.
“Oh good, I won’t need to explain myself several times over then.” She lets out another sigh, before making her way over to an armchair propped up on the other side of my room.
“The phoenix needs help, so I am sending you to provide it,” she states simply, easing herself down into my chair.
“My help, mistress? I don’t understand what can I do?”
“We, the other gods and I, believe she is losing herself to loneliness and is becoming despondent. We believe, maybe your company will lift her spirits a little. I mean, it’s not my idea of course. My belief is that loss, pain, and anger make you stronger, not weaker. But the others don’t agree.”
“By others, do you mean Dhysysus?” I question. I am aware of how the God of Tranquility has been watching over the phoenix for centuries. I’m not completely sure what it is he does, but I know he cares deeply for her.
“Yes, that silly lovesick fool. You would think he would have realized by now he can never be with her. The stupid idiot has permanently scarred himself just by touching her, how would he ever expect to have her as a partner? It’s simply absurd. It’s not enough we have Draythys crying over the fact Ebris doesn’t want her. Now her bloody brother is infatuated by a phoenix.” She throws a bangle clad arm over her face in a dramatic fashion.
She has always been a little overdramatic. I suppose as a Goddess she has every right to be, even if I do find it sort of comical to watch. “Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I am sending you to help her. A companion of sorts, as you have done for me over the centuries.”
“You’re letting me leave?” I’m stunned. I feel my heart beating so fast, it seems like it may burst out of my chest at any second. My palms become sweaty. I’m sure my face must be a picture, my jaw feels like it’s hitting the floor. My eyes feel like they will pop straight out of my head.
She’s letting me leave.
“Don’t get too excited yet dear. We’re not sure how receptive she would be to a strange man turning u
p out of the blue. Considering her history, she will have numerous trust issues and will be wary of any person approaching her. Therefore, we have decided it would be in your best interests to stay in your animal form.”
“My animal form? You mean I would need to stay as a unicorn?”
I’m puzzled. She wishes for me to help, but not fully as myself. I can sort of understand her reasoning behind it, but shouldn’t that be my choice?
“No. Not as a unicorn. I personally don’t think she would respond well to you in that form. She has never met another creature like you and it may startle her. I think it’s best if you disguise yourself as a horse. Oh, and of course you will need a more appropriate horse name. I don’t know about you, but how many horses have you met called Galen?” She taps a long finger against her chin in contemplation. All I can do is stand there, stunned. I’m not allowed to be myself or my unicorn, how is that fair?
“Mistress, how am I meant to provide assistance to her if I cannot be myself? I’m sure if I introduced myself properly, she would be fine with meeting me as myself.”
She rolls her eyes at me like I’m some petulant child. I always hate it when she does that. “No, my pet. I will only allow you to leave if you agree to do as I ask.”
“But, mistress, I can be of no help as a horse. I can understand why you would not like me to present myself to her as a man, but as a unicorn? Surely that would be better than a regular horse?” I plead. I’m pretty sure it turns on deaf ears when she scowls my way. Her eyes glow brighter, the blue streaking through them like lightning bolts.
“I said no. You will not disobey me. I will make sure of it,” she states rising up from the seat. “Unless I permit it or it’s absolutely necessary, you will stay in a horse form and go by the name Shadowbolt. You will not reveal your true identity to the phoenix or to anyone for that matter. I will place a lock on your shifting abilities until the time is right.”
“Shadowbolt? Why that name? What do you mean lock my abilities?” My questions rush out and I can see anger brewing in her eyes.
“ENOUGH!” she shouts back. The room shakes and rumbles around us as I take several steps back.
She lets out a deep sigh and pinches her forehead together with her fingers. “Look, my boy. I am not doing these things to spite you, please be assured of that. I am doing them to not only keep you safe but others around you. You’ve seen Dhysysus’ scars. You know what she is capable of. Yes, she never did them out of spite, she doesn’t even know about him. But I can’t knowingly send you to her and not be concerned for your safety.”
Her eyes slowly return to normal, and kindness sparkles in them once again.
I hesitantly edge closer to her. She has always had a temper. Nothing new there. But there are often times such as this where she scares even me. When I’m close enough, she lifts her hand to cup my chin in a motherly gesture I am all too familiar with.
“I want to keep you safe. Can you not see that? I know you are stubborn and determined. I also know you become jealous easily and can turn spiteful if you don’t get your own way. I know these things because I have been with you since the day you were born.” She softly smiles and I can’t help but smile back at her. “My boy, you are my child. Not by blood. But by the love, sweat, and tears I have put into you over the centuries. I may be harsh, but it’s for your own good. I know you better than you know yourself. Please trust me.”
“I’m sorry, mistress. I just wish I didn’t need to conceal myself so much. This will be the first time I have ever left your side and I guess, I mean I hoped the day I was finally allowed to leave it would be as myself.” I look down at her and her eyes soften some more to a gentle milky white.
“I know my dear, and I understand that. Truly I do. But as I have told you time and time again, things happen for a reason. I promise you, this is in yours and the phoenix’s best interests. I wouldn’t make you do this if I didn’t think you were ready.”
“Okay, mistress. I will do as you say. But may I ask why the name Shadowbolt?”
She pats my cheek with a smile. “That will be for another conversation my boy, now is the time to prepare you for your mission.” She walks away from me, heading toward the door and I follow behind, being careful not to tread on her skirt.
“Prepare me? Already?”
“Yes, my boy. I have heard the phoenix has recently regenerated. Dhysysus has already moved her, although he was extremely hesitant to leave her again.” She stops and turns to me. I nearly crash into her, but manage to stop myself just in time. “Now, your mission is to befriend her. Though I will be locking your shifting abilities once you are a horse, I will still allow you to communicate through mind speak.” She turns again and continues walking. “Now, once you have befriended her, help keep her safe.”
“Safe from what mistress?”
“That I cannot tell you. It will be for her to decide how much she wishes to tell you. But remember, keep your wits about you, and above all else keep your identity a secret unless I allow you to reveal it, or if you have no other choice. Do you understand?” She stops again and gives me a stern look.
“Yes mistress.”
“Very well. Let’s get you ready.”
Present Day
I tell them everything. Well, almost everything.
I leave out anything to do with Dhysysus. I was warned not to mention him to anyone, as he must stay a secret for now. Not sure why, but I won’t disobey Neris’ orders again.
They listen intently to everything I say, fascinated by my history. I may have also left out anything about my sexual conquests. I’m not ashamed of them, but I don’t want either of them to think of me as a man whore, even though maybe I am a little.
“So, you’re older than me? I don’t think I have ever met anyone older than me, well besides Vemnos.” Alina gives a small smile. I know this must be a lot to take in for her, but I know she can handle it. Killian sits there just looking ahead, not really focusing on much.
I lean down and nudge my head against him. “Hey, you okay Killian?”
KILLIAN
I feel Shadowbolt, uh I mean Galen, nudge his head against me.
Shit.
What the fuck is going on here?
One minute I’m living on my farm worried about getting it sorted by myself. The next I meet a beautiful woman who happens to be a magical creature along with her horse, that only she can talk to. Then I get murdered, brought back to life, find out Shadowbolt is not only called Galen, but he’s also a unicorn shifting human. I couldn’t write this shit.
What a total mind fuck.
“You’re telling me, Sweetcheeks.” I hear Galen call out.
Wait a minute. Sweetcheeks?
“What did you call me?” I ask finally looking up at him.
“Uh, it’s a name I’ve called you a while, sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.”
I can tell from the way he hunches his shoulders and his softened voice he means his apology. Still doesn’t answer why he called me that though.
“You’re going to have to remember that I can hear your thoughts now, Killian. If you must know, I call you, Sweetcheeks because you have a nice ass. Plus, it has a bonus of making Alina blush.”
We both look to Alina, who is indeed blushing.
“You knew about this?” I ask, pointing to Galen.
Her eyes dart between us, I can tell she’s probably uncomfortable and doesn’t really want to answer. But with a deep breath, she looks to me once more. “Yeah, I sort of did. He’s been calling you it since we met. To be honest, it’s better than what he wanted you to call him.” She quickly places a hand over her mouth with her eyes wide.
“Why? What did he want me to call him?” I look at Galen again and I swear for a minute it looks like he’s smirking. Can horses smirk?
“We can when we know something you don’t.” He winks at me. He fucking winks at me.
Now, to be honest I would have found that a little weird before, what with hi
m being a horse and all. But now, knowing he’s actually human fills me with so many questions my head may explode. “So are you going to tell me what you wanted me to call you then?”
“Nah. There’s no fun in that just yet. I’ll tell you eventually, don’t worry about that. But now’s not the right time. And no, Alina won’t tell you either. Will you, Sparky?” He looks to her now, and she’s still blushing. She gives a little shake to her head.
Okay, I’m not getting any answers from either of them today.
I try to move myself up from my sitting position, but I feel lightheaded and fall back down again.
Alina reaches her hands out to prevent me from falling back anymore. “Easy, Killian. You need to move slower. You need to give your body time to adjust to being alive again. Believe me, moving too fast after regeneration makes me feel sick and woozy. I guess it must be the same for you. Here, let me help.”
She places her arm around my waist. Taking my arm and throwing it over her shoulder, she uses her body to push me up to my feet. I should protest about having her help me like this, but to be honest it feels too good having her this close to me. I try to keep most of my weight off of her. I know she’s strong, I’ve seen her lift really heavy things when she was helping me on the farm, but that’s no excuse not to help her out a little.
I can’t help myself. I lean into her a little and take a discreet inhale. She smells of something spicy, cinnamon or cloves, maybe. She smells of warmth and comfort.
She smells like home.
With her help, I manage to move over to Shadowbolt, I mean Galen. Fuck, this is going to take some getting used to. He bends down a little so I can climb onto his back before rising up again and we begin to slowly trot back to the farm in silence.
It’s a really weird thought to know I actually have a man between my legs, not a real horse. I can feel his muscles bunch and roll beneath me and I gently cling onto his hair to stop myself from falling.
Echoes of the Past (The Alina Chronicles Book 1) Page 15