by Hondo Jinx
An orc, Dan realized, shock rooting him in place. A huge orc!
“Get him!” Wulfgar shouted.
Dan wanted to respond, but he was frozen in place. Not by fear but by shock. Everything was happening so quickly, and everything was so strange!
The orc lifted a bloody war hammer overhead, squealed an inhuman battle cry, and charged.
Wulfgar hollered, but Dan remained frozen, his mind racing as the orc charged. Should he sidestep and swing low? Block the hammer, spin away, and regroup?
But everything happened so fast…
The orc crossed the pit in a flash, while Dan felt like he was stuck in slow motion. This was nothing like gaming, nothing like training, nothing like—
The orc rushed forward, swinging the hammer down like a splitting axe.
And impaled himself on Dan’s sword.
Wulfgar’s point plunged into the orc’s gut just above the beltline. The orc’s momentum carried him forward, skewering him through the abdomen. Dan braced himself, not giving an inch.
The orc gave a squeal of pain and surprise. His hammer fell to the sawdust. He snorted, glaring at Dan with his hateful piggy eyes. He shoved himself forward, impaling himself in an effort to reach Dan with his gnarled and bloody hands.
But then the orc shuddered, went rigid with a guttural cry, and dropped to the ground, dead as two hundred and fifty pounds of the world’s nastiest bacon.
27
The Skeller
The bartender clunked four pitchers of beer on the bar. “Six silver,” she said.
Dan slapped down an electrum piece. “Keep the change!” he shouted over the crowd noise. He was in a tipping mood. After qualifying for round two of Campus Quest, he was on top of the world!
The officials had allowed him to loot the orc’s corpse. He’d come away with a dozen electrum pieces and the hammer, which he’d sold for eleven silver pieces in a shady weapon shop on Calder Way.
The bartender smiled, rang a bell behind the bar, and moved off to help another customer.
Dan carried the pitchers back to the booth. Holly greeted him with a big kiss and slid onto his lap. Across the table, Nadia grinned and rolled her eyes.
Zeke stood at the head of the table, pounding beers and occasionally shouting at Zuggy, who kept climbing on the table and dancing lewdly.
Overall, however, the wizard was clearly overjoyed. He kept turning to glance gleefully about the crowded bar. “This is exactly why I came to college,” Zeke announced.
Dan refilled everyone’s mug. Even the monkey’s. Screw it.
Holly took a drink, squirmed around in his lap, and leaned close. “Are you trying to get me drunk, barbarian?”
“Absolutely,” he said, lowering his voice. He was pretty buzzed already. “Then I’m going to carry you back to my cave and fuck you so good that you’re mine forever.”
Holly kissed his ear, then nipped at it with her teeth. The warmth and sound of her breath covered him in goosebumps. “I already am,” she said.
“Oh yeah?” he said, and realized that despite her playful smile, Holly’s eyes were serious.
“Yours and yours alone, my love,” she said.
Dan felt a rush of excitement. Maybe she was serious, maybe she wasn’t. Back in the old-world, this wouldn’t have been possible, but here?
“Works for me, love,” he said, and kissed Holly hard on the mouth.
Nadia made fake gagging sounds, as if she was going to puke. “Get a room, you two. You’re hurting my eyes.”
“You’re just jealous!” Holly said.
“Of him, maybe,” Nadia said, grinning, “but not of you. I mean, kissing a barbarian?” And she launched into more fake retching.
Dan laughed.
He’d never been in a bar before, but Nadia had gotten them into the Skeller, no trouble.
It was awesome. So much energy, so much excitement.
Word had apparently spread about the Noobs earning a spot in Campus Quest’s “Dirty Dozen,” because people kept stopping by to congratulate them and hand them free beers.
He enjoyed telling and retelling the story of how he’d killed the orc, though he left out the parts about freezing up and how the orc had pretty much killed itself.
After a while, Dan left the table to use the bathroom.
He was pretty drunk but not so drunk that he couldn’t recognize that this was the longest piss that he or anyone else had ever taken in the history of taking pisses.
Leaving the bathroom, he planned to wrap things up and head home soon. Partying was fun, but he was excited to consummate the victory with Holly.
On his way back to the table, a stranger stopped him.
“My friend,” the stranger said.
The guy was older, maybe thirty, with close-cropped black hair and a dark beard split by a terrible scar, which ran in a pale rope up one cheek to a filmy eye as gray and lifeless as a distant moon. The other eye gleamed a brilliant blue. The man was a few inches taller than Dan, with a narrow waist, broad shoulders, and a lot of scars.
“Hey,” Dan said, offering a tentative smile.
“My congratulations to you,” the man said with a strange accent, clapping Dan’s shoulder. “Campus Quest!”
“Thanks.”
“Very exciting for you, no? But you are strong, I see. A young barbarian, strong and fearless, no?”
Dan shrugged and glanced across the crowded room. He caught a glimpse of Zuggy perched atop Zeke’s shoulder, gyrating like a go-go dancer while a semicircle of drunks laughed and chanted. “Anyway, thanks. I gotta get back to my friends.”
The man grabbed his shoulder. The grip was incredibly strong, strong as iron.
“But we are talking, my friend,” the stranger said. His smile was strained, and the blue eye burned with intensity. “Do not be rude, boy. I only mean to congratulate… and share a warning.”
Dan pulled his shoulder free. “What warning?”
“Have your fun tonight,” the man said. “Celebrate your victory. But do not be foolish. The competition, it is dangerous. The further it goes, the more dangerous, yes?”
“That’s the idea,” Dan said.
The man leaned close. “Lies,” he hissed.
“Huh?”
“The final stage is a lie, boy. You have done well. Drink your beer. Love your woman. But next round? Maybe do not try so hard. The final stage is not for you. It is a death trap.”
“Thanks for the warning, buddy,” Dan said, “but I can take care of myself. You have a good night.”
What a weirdo.
When Dan got back to the table, Holly said, “Fraternizing with the enemy, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
She pointed to where the big guy with the dead eye was now talking to a wiry, familiar-looking elf. It was the thief who’d won Nadia’s event, the pro!
“He’s on the Sell-Swords,” Holly said. “What did he want?”
“Nothing,” Dan said, watching the pair disappear into the crowd.
The final stage is a death trap, the man’s words echoed in Dan’s mind.
Had that been a warning… or a threat?
Whatever the case, Dan understood something then. Campus Quest was about to get way more complicated.
28
Midnight Stroll with a Death Toll
The streets were packed with people celebrating the Campus Quest kickoff. For as cool as it had been, partying in the Skeller, with waves of strangers swinging by the table to congratulate them and offer free drinks, there was something nice about being anonymous again.
The sidewalks were mobbed with drunks. Long lines waited outside every bar. Loud parties raged on every balcony of every high-rise apartment building. It was cool, floating along with the excited revelers, knowing that none of them recognized him or Holly as Campus Quest competitors.
They crossed the parking lot of Beaver Terrace, slipped past the towering apartment complex, and entered the quieter, more residential corner of t
own.
Just like that, everything changed.
Every now and then, a shout or peal of laughter would echo in the distance, but these streets were far darker and calmer than downtown. It was a beautiful night, cool but not cold, with patches of starry sky showing through the cloud cover. Here on the backstreets, it was quiet enough to hear the breeze whispering through the trees that arched over the sidewalks.
Dan and Holly walked hand in hand, sometimes talking, sometimes just swinging their arms back and forth, silently soaking in the night, the moment, everything. Dan was very drunk and very, very happy.
Holly surprised him by pulling him behind the hedge of a shadowy yard.
He started to ask her what she was doing, but she raised a finger to his lips and sunk slowly to her knees in the darkness behind the hedge.
Feeling Holly’s hands undoing his belt buckle, Dan glanced around nervously. The street was quiet. Here and there, televisions flashed blue and white behind drawn curtains, but most of the houses were dark as tombs. The only sign of life was a black and white cat slinking along the opposite sidewalk.
Holly unsnapped and unzipped his pants.
He grabbed her hands. “We’re almost home.”
“A hesitant barbarian?” Holly laughed. “The wonders never cease.”
Her voice seemed loud on the silent street. Dan looked around nervously. “Let’s wait until we get home.”
“No,” she said, and took his shaft in her hands. “I’ve been wet for hours.” She squeezed him. “I can’t wait another second.”
And then her mouth closed over him, wet and warm and very willing. Normally, Holly took her time, licking and kissing and teasing. Not tonight.
She gobbled him whole.
Holly took his entire length down her throat. Then she started bobbing her head up and down, slurping and moaning, and fondling his balls with one hand.
Clouds shifted overhead, bathing them in moonlight. Dan glanced down. Holly’s blond hair looked silver in the moonlight. She squatted there before him, slurping and moaning. Her free hand plunged into her pants and started working between her legs.
Watching Holly was such a huge turn on. Hearing her muffled moans and the sounds of her wetness as she masturbated was an even bigger turn on. Pressure built quickly with Dan, and before he knew it, he was pushing lightly at her head, warning her, “I’m almost there.”
She wouldn’t let him push her head away. She sucked harder, pumping her head up and down, kneading his balls, and moaning more urgently as the hand in her pants worked.
Then he couldn’t take it anymore. When he climaxed, Holly held half his length in her mouth, working his shaft with her hand and swallowing greedily as he pumped jet after jet of hot seed into her mouth.
He stifled his roar into a growl, trying not to wake the neighborhood, but once he had finished, Holly released him, gasping for air and cried out as she masturbated herself to a powerful orgasm.
Up and down the street, dogs began barking behind closed doors. The porch light of the closest house popped on.
“Oh shit,” Dan whispered, and pulled up his pants.
Holly laughed, licking her lips, and rose.
The front door of the house swung open, and someone called into the night.
Dan and Holly ran toward home, laughing like maniacs.
When they turned onto their street, everything got bright and noisy. Across from their apartment house, Alpha Alpha Alpha was having a wild party. The frat house’s porch was packed, and the front lawn was crowded, with whooping partiers dancing around a bonfire, chanting what Dan assumed was some fraternity victory song.
Unfortunately, Grady and his team of assholes had also made the Dirty Dozen.
Go figure, Dan thought.
“Come on,” Holly said, tugging him across the darkened lawn behind their apartment house. “Let’s go in the back and avoid those jerks altogether.”
“To hell with that,” he said, his inner barbarian rising up. “I’m not afraid of those assholes, and I’m not going to sneak around, trying to avoid them.”
“Please?” Holly said, and bit her lip in a seriously cute way. Then she reached out, grabbed his crotch, and started tugging him toward the back of the apartment. “I want you to take me inside and fuck me.”
“Well,” he said, “since you asked so nicely…”
They hurried toward the back door but stopped when several figures in midnight blue cloaks stepped from behind trees.
The Acolytes of Eternal Darkness again!
Dan heard a thrumming sound, then a loud slap as something punched into him. He glanced down at the crossbow bolt buried in his shoulder, drew Wulfgar, and stepped in front of Holly, who was reaching into her cloak.
Four acolytes got busy, reloading crossbows.
“Don’t just stand there,” Wulfgar bellowed. “You’re big enough and dumb enough to be a shield, but what’s the point? Charge!”
Dan shouted his battle cry and sprinted toward the crossbowmen. Before he could reach them, they loosed another volley.
A line of fire burned across Dan’s face. The other quarrels whizzed past.
Then he was on them, leaping and whirling and slashing in a barbaric frenzy.
His first swing sent a hooded head flying in a geyser of blood.
The acolytes dropped their crossbows and pulled the black daggers that they called Slivers of Darkness.
Dan thrust Wulfgar, who was yodeling curses, straight through the chest of another acolyte, then yanked the sword free and let the dead man fall to the ground.
The remaining two acolytes slashed and jabbed with their dark blades, but Dan bobbed and weaved like a boxer, slipping the attacks, and chopped one of the men in half at the beltline.
A dagger plunged into his upper back. Again, he felt only the thump of it, so great was his battle rage.
His attacker was smarter and gutsier than his dead companions had been. He stayed close, pulling the blade free and driving it once more into Dan’s back.
The bastard was too close for Dan to use his two-handed sword, so he dropped Wulfgar and bulled backward into his opponent.
The acolyte shouted with fear and surprise and fell to the ground. Dan tripped over him and tumbled backwards onto the dewy grass.
They raced to their feet.
The acolyte was fast, lashing out with his dagger.
Dan batted it away, surged forward, and clipped the guy with an elbow to the jaw. It was a hard shot. The acolyte’s head rocked back, and he staggered backward, swinging blindly with the black dagger.
Dan kicked him in the balls. The acolyte groaned and fell to the ground, dropping his blade.
Dan grabbed the acolyte by the ankles, leaned back, pulled with all of his might, and spun, lifting the acolyte into the air. Holding tightly to the acolyte’s ankles, Dan whipped his would-be assassin through the air, and drove him headfirst into the trunk of a big oak tree. The acolyte’s head hit the tree with a hollow thock, and Dan felt his opponent’s consciousness vanish instantaneously.
Emerging from his battle rage, he became aware of a soft voice speaking.
Holly!
He turned and couldn’t believe his eyes.
Holly stood over the bodies of two acolytes–where had they come from?–talking slowly and softly to a third acolyte, who nodded slowly.
Dan rushed at the man’s back, meaning to crush him, but Holly held up one finger. The meaning was clear: wait.
Dan stopped a few feet away, ready to snap the guy in half.
Holly was partially covered in the remainders of a black net. “Now,” she said to the blood-soaked acolyte, “what will you tell the other acolytes?”
“I will tell them that you and the barbarian died,” the acolyte said.
“That’s right,” Holly said, and smiled. “Thank you for helping me.”
The acolyte looked from his bloody dagger to the dead men and back to Holly. “No problem,” he said. “I want to help you.”
“Very good,” Holly said. “Before you leave, do you have any money or valuable items you could give to me?”
The acolyte nodded, dug around in his pocket, and handed her a small purse. Then he removed a ring and a necklace and handed those to her, too.
“Thank you,” Holly said. “One more thing. Why are the acolytes trying to kidnap me?”
“A gift,” the acolyte said, his voice suddenly quavering with excitement. “For the Mother of Darkness.”
“Why me, though?”
“You’re the only grey elf on campus,” he said. “In the struggle between darkness and light, you represent neutrality and balance.”
“So unfortunate that your friends killed me, right?”
“Yes,” the acolyte said. “So unfortunate.”
She dismissed him.
The acolyte limped away toward town, leaving a sizeable blood trail.
“What happened?” Dan asked, thoroughly confused.
Holly explained as they looted the corpses. When Dan had charged the four crossbowmen, three other acolytes had rushed Holly. “That must’ve been their plan,” she said. “Kill you and kidnap me.”
“That plan didn’t work out so well,” Dan said.
“No,” she said.
Holly’s attackers had surprised her with a net. Tangled in its fibers, she couldn’t use her staff. Luckily, she had already initiated a spell. When one of the acolytes approached her, she had charmed him. He knifed his brethren before they could join in the fight against Dan.
“And now he’ll go tell them that we’re dead,” she said. “Hopefully they’ll leave us alone.” She held out her loot, two dozen coins, some jewelry, and the dead men’s weapons. “What did you find?”
“Seventeen gold, some silver, some copper, more weapons,” he said. “Enough to keep the landlord off my back, anyway. Killing assholes pays a lot better than washing dishes.”