by Hondo Jinx
He caught himself before reflexively glancing across the room at the elegant wooden box that authorities had discovered in Dr. Lynch’s office and surrendered to Holly so that she might return its contents to her family. Soon the head of Holly’s grandmother would rejoin the rest of her at the heart of the grove.
The mission filled Holly with both pride and sorrow.
So Dan forced himself not to glance at the box.
The last week had been very, very difficult, and he was relieved to see Holly coming around at last, returning to herself.
Yes, things were looking good again.
Speaking of looking good, Dan thought, shifting his eyes.
“Don’t even think about crawling back on top of me, you savage,” Nadia said. She was sprawled out on the bed beside Holly, shimmering with perspiration. “I’m spent.”
“I would’ve expected more stamina from a werewolf,” Dan joked.
“And I would’ve expected that by now you could go at least fifteen minutes without mentioning my lycanthropy,” Nadia said.
“I can’t help it,” Dan said. “It’s sexy as hell!”
“You seriously are a barbarian!” Nadia laughed, then lay back, twirling a chestnut lock around one finger.
Dan knew that it would take some time for Nadia to be really comfortable with discussing her lycanthropy, but he also knew that she was happy to finally have it out in the open.
That secret had been weighing on her since they had met. All this time, Nadia had been hiding the truth, afraid that Dan and Holly would both reject her as a monster and a liar and a freak.
But of course, they hadn’t.
They loved her.
Besides, Nadia had been in werewolf form when she had saved everyone by attacking Dr. Lynch at the right moment.
Overwhelmed during the initial assault, Nadia had turned and run, not to abandon the Noobs but to hide in the tunnel while shifting. Then, filled with the patient cunning that accompanied her full wolf form, Nadia had lain in wait until it was time to attack.
Dan had a million questions, and Nadia promised to answer all of them in time.
Dan was fine with that. If Nadia needed time, he would give it to her.
But he wanted no more secrets between them. The three of them were a family now. They would support each other no matter what, and they would share everything.
So much had happened. So much had changed.
Yes, they had defeated Dr. Griselda Lynch and saved the universe from eternal darkness but at great cost.
Nearly twenty thousand people had died that day, most of them in the stadium.
Was Zeke among the dead?
Dr. Lynch’s diabolical mortification spell had ravaged the wizard and withered his flesh before he and the necromancer had tumbled away, fighting like cats, and vanished into a different plane of existence. Had the spell finished him?
No one had seen or heard from him since.
Dan hoped that Zeke was all right. Zuggy, too.
Sorcery still raised Dan’s hackles, but Zeke had saved his life, had saved all of their lives.
And more to the point, sorcery had brought Dan to life again. Yes, he was a barbarian, but he needed to rethink some of his superstitions.
So much to think about. So much to do.
He was thankful for the break, anyway.
The university had suspended classes for the next month, through Thanksgiving.
In even better news, Dan’s independent study with Dr. Lynch had been struck from his record.
Of course, if the university truly understood the role that Dan and the Noobs had played in defeating Dr. Lynch, they would award them all with honorary doctoral degrees in Heroic Ass-Kicking.
But Dr. Lynch’s magical shield had blocked out their heroic actions.
In fact, the authorities had interrogated the Noobs. But seers had verified their testimonies, along with the testimonies of the surviving Legionnaires, Broadus and Maurelio.
The wiry thief almost hadn’t survived to tell his tale. He’d been unconscious for most of the fight, bleeding to death. But luckily, Broadus had been carrying healing potions, which saved Maurelio and Nadia.
Eventually, the authorities had quietly thanked Dan and the others for their roles in stopping Dr. Lynch, but there would be no public recognition.
The university wasn’t running a coverup, precisely, but they certainly weren’t celebrating the catastrophe. The sooner that Campus Quest could leave the headlines the better.
Besides, university officials explained, not everyone would be pleased with the actions of the Noobs and the Legion of Light. A necromancer as powerful as Dr. Lynch had formidable allies, and dozens of acolytes lived on.
Dan stepped into his jeans and pulled them up.
“Where are you going?” Holly asked.
“I have to pick up my sword,” Dan said. Having Wulfgar reforged was costing him what little money he had left. Not that it would be Wulfgar anymore. Now it would just be a sword that fit him perfectly.
“Why bother getting the thing fixed in the first place?” Nadia asked. “You could’ve gotten a perfectly good used sword and saved a few gold pieces.”
Dan shrugged his shoulders. “I’m polygamous with women only. With weapons, I’m a one-sword man.”
“Speaking of polygamy,” Holly said, “when we get to the grove, dozens of unwed girls will be drooling over you. Let me know if you see one you like.” She smiled brightly, mischief glowing in her purple eyes. “Maybe we’ll bring home a pet.”
“A pet, huh?” Dan said. Reflexively, his mind conjured the lovely image of tangled limbs and sweaty bodies, but in truth, he couldn’t imagine bringing on another wife. At least not yet. Talk about complications…
“I’m allergic to grey elves,” Nadia joked. She gave Holly’s shoulder a playful shove. “And why does the idea of sharing our man excite you so much?”
“I want our husband to be happy,” Holly said. “He’s a powerful barbarian. As he grows stronger, he’ll build an amazing harem, bringing his wives wealth and power.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Nadia said. “Enough with the husband stuff.”
Dan laughed. “But you’re fine with the harem thing?”
Nadia shrugged. “I’ve always wanted a big family. So, maybe? I would probably be all right with it as long as I got a say with every choice.”
“Of course,” Dan said.
“And,” Nadia added with a sly grin, “as long as these women really do bring me wealth and power.”
“Um,” Holly said, “the harem will bring Dan’s wives wealth and power… not his concubine.”
Nadia gave her a shocked smile, mock offended. “Oh no you didn’t, elf! Who are you calling a concubine?”
“If you refuse to join us in marriage,” Holly said, “that’s the only title you get.” Then she stuck out her tongue and crossed her arms over her perfect breasts.
Nadia rolled her eyes and sprung from the bed, her lovely body bouncing in ways that made Dan want to drop his jeans again.
“You know what?” Nadia said, looking back and forth between Dan and Holly. “You’re both my concubines!”
Holly and Dan laughed.
The girls decided to go into town with Dan. They would grab some last-minute supplies while he picked up his sword.
They got dressed and headed out the door together.
The day was crisp and beautiful. Dan smiled up at the hard blue sky, flanked by his two loves.
Nadia elbowed him as they were passing the AAA frat house. “Look who it is.”
Holly groaned.
Dan glanced across the street, and saw Grady standing on the frat house lawn, drinking a beer with his buddies and grinning down at a semicircle of girls trying to talk to him. He and his team were celebrities now.
Looking at his former rival, Dan couldn’t help but remember Grady’s bulging eyes as he had fled Dr. Lynch and the acolytes.
Now Grady looked up from the girl
s and saw Dan looking at him. Grady’s grin drooped. Not into a sneer, though. Grady merely frowned and looked quickly away, pretending that he hadn’t even seen Dan.
Dan chuckled and kept walking.
“What?” Holly said.
“Nothing,” Dan said, understanding then that Grady would never dare to look him in the eyes again. “Nothing at all.”
They strolled downhill into town. The streets were fairly empty. Most of the students had already gone home.
“It’s good that we’re stocking up this afternoon,” Holly said. “That means that we won’t have to stop on the way out of town tomorrow. I want to get on the road early. I’d rather not run into the monster that Mother talked about.”
Holly had already told them about the letter she’d received. According to her mother, some mysterious and deadly monster had made nighttime travel through the forest impossible.
“Whatever the monster is,” Dan said, “I’ll kill it if that will win over your family.”
Holly laughed but made no such promises. Apparently, her dad was a total hard-ass, her brother was both a hothead and an expert swordsman, her mother was off-the-charts intelligent and tough as nails, and her little sister was as wild as the forest itself. And the rest of the community tended to kill any outsider that trespassed within their secret grove.
“Don’t worry,” Holly said. “I’ll keep you both safe.”
“I’m excited to meet your family,” Nadia said. “Besides, if they kill us, at least I won’t have to deal with Gruss when I come back.”
“I will deal with Gruss when we return,” Dan said, anger rising in him. According to Nadia’s street urchins, the mobster was getting impatient and making vague threats.
“For the thousandth time,” Nadia said, “forget about Gruss. He’s big time. Seriously. He’s—”
“Anyone who threatens my family—”
“Enough!” Holly said. “You two can argue on the trip. Preferably while I’m sleeping.”
Reaching Calder Way, Dan kissed them both goodbye. He would pick up his reforged sword from the blacksmith and find Holly and Nadia in the shops when he was finished.
He didn’t go straight to the blacksmith, though. Instead, he paused on the sidewalk and enjoyed watching the petite elf and dark-haired thief walk away.
Holly hip-bumped her friend, and Nadia’s bright laughter streamed back to Dan as the pair disappeared into the alley.
Tomorrow, they would leave for the grove. It would be a dangerous trip.
The forest teemed with bandits and marauding humanoids. Random monster encounters were a distinct possibility. He expected serious trouble with Holly’s family and the other xenophobic grey elves. And of course, they might run into whatever monster was gobbling up nighttime travelers.
Better get my sword, then, Dan thought with a smile. He was happy. Very, very happy. He didn’t know precisely which dangers they would face in the wilderness, but with two amazing women by his side, he was ready for adventure!
Thank you for reading Dan the Barbarian!
Dan, Holly, and Nadia’s story continues in Dan the Adventurer. GET IT HERE!
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About the Author
Hi, I’m Hondo. I’m a lifelong fan of Dungeons & Dragons, fantasy, and science fiction. Though I write crazy adventure stories about kicking ass and building harems, I’m actually just a regular guy blessed with a great wife, a beautiful daughter, and a dog with two different colored eyes.
If you’d like to connect, swing by HondoJinx.com.
Thanks again for reading Dan the Barbarian!