Retreat

by Jay Crownover

  Cy narrowed his eyes at me and patted the horse on the side of his neck. “Hop up and I’ll fix your stirrups, too. They probably need to be adjusted.”

  It was my turn to lift my eyebrows. “I can get them myself. Like I mentioned last night, I used to ride. I know my way around a horse and the tack fairly well.”

  His eyes narrowed even more and he stepped back so he could cross his arms over his flannel-covered chest. I tried not to ogle the way the motion pulled the checkered material tightly across thick biceps and his broad chest. Cy was a visual treat for sure, but the look on his face as we stared at each other over the back of the horse was anything but sweet and friendly.

  “You might know your way around a horse but you and your friend were also the last to show up. You’re holding the entire production up by arguing with me, which means everyone is waiting on you, Sunshine. Get that cute ass in the saddle and let me help you with your fucking stirrups.”

  Instead of thinking about the fact I really liked that he thought my ass was cute, I put a hand on the saddle horn, and one on the center of the saddle, and hoisted a leg into the stirrup hanging in front of me. I took a deep breath, told myself I could literally get back on the horse, and hefted myself up into the curve of the saddle. Boss whinnied and moved sideways toward Cy, which had my heart rate speeding up and a flashback of panic roaring to life inside of me. I grabbed for the reins and put a shaking hand on the horse’s glossy mane while whispering “Whoa, boy,” as softly and as calmly as I could.

  My nervousness was quickly replaced by a different kind of nerve jangling, breath- stealing awareness as Cy’s hand curled around my calf. He bent his head down and fiddled with the straps and buckles that would adjust the length of the stirrup. I had boots and jeans on but I felt the imprint of every single one of his fingers where they pressed into my leg. Once he that the fit right, he guided my foot where it belonged on the side of the horse but not before those fingers tightened and then brushed their way all the way up the curve of my leg to the back of my knee. I gasped and shot him a wide-eyed look that made him smirk up at me knowingly. The horse snorted and shifted his big body under me. I was sure he could feel the heat and tension that was pinging and bouncing between his rider and the man who had trained him.

  I watched him carefully as he made his way to the other side to repeat the process, and this time when he curled his fingers around my leg, I asked, “Don’t you have your hands full with another redhead? Do you collect us and play with whichever one isn’t boring you at the moment?” When I was scared and uncertain, I could be vicious. I had a lot of weapons at my disposal but my razor-sharp tongue was often the one I leaned on the most. I was lashing out because I wanted him to be as unsettled and off center as he made me. I thought throwing the woman he was so gentle with, the one who he showed such easy affection to, would be a good diversion. It wasn’t. The man saw right through me like I was made of glass.

  My foot was shoved in the stirrup and he stepped back with a scowl. “What nonsense are you going on about now, woman?”

  I met him scowl for scowl and tilted my head in the direction of the beautiful wooden home that housed the even more beautiful woman from the night before. “Brynn. She’s gorgeous and she can make a mean stack of pancakes. Do you think she would approve of you telling me I have a cute ass and all the fondling you seem so inclined towards in the morning?” I felt my mouth tighten and my chin lift defiantly. “I’m not interested in being a convenient distraction while you’re stuck with us until your brother shows up. Whatever games you’re playing to keep yourself amused, stop it right now.”

  His lips twitched, and when he opened his mouth I was positive he was going to tell me I had the wrong idea about everything, that Brynn was their cousin or half-sister or something else entirely that would explain the light and gentle way he was with her. What I got was a sexy half-grin that made those fluttering places inside me start to throb.

  His voice was pitched low enough that I was the only one who could hear his gravelly growl. “Oh, you’re one hell of a distraction, Leo, and there isn’t a goddamn thing about it that is even slightly convenient. I don’t play . . . games or anything else. I’m all business, just ask my brothers.” He tapped the horse I was perched on with his palm. Boss started to move just like the other horses everyone else was mounted on were doing. “Remember to keep a firm hold on him. He’ll be good to you but you need to show him who’s boss.”

  I cut him a look over my shoulder as the horse started a slow trot around the corral. He was grinning at me. The flash of his teeth against that dark scruff across his jaw made him look like the bad guy who had eliminated the hero and knew he was going to get away with every wicked thing he could think of. There was knowing in that smile. There was taunting and provocation in it. There was satisfaction and intent in that smile, and it made my skin pebble up in reaction, and had desire running thick and free through my veins.

  He was right. There was absolutely nothing convenient about any of this, but that didn’t stop me from watching him as he moved to a very pretty white and gray horse. He swung himself up in the saddle like he had been doing so since the day he was born. Even mounted on the horse and handling the animal like it was second nature, he still didn’t look like any kind of cowboy I had ever imagined . . . he looked so much better.

  Not Quite Easy Rider

  Getting back on the horse was harder on my body than I realized it was going to be.

  Even back when I rode pretty much every day after school, I had never spent more than a couple of hours in a saddle and that was in a perfectly maintained corral, in an arena that was made for the animals to practice jumping and cutting around barrels. I’d never ridden a trail or been on one of the big animals as they traversed uneven terrain, fighting to find their footing, as the ground shifted from open range to hilly backcountry.

  The brothers’ vast property was impressive and seemed endless when we started our journey just as the sun was fully taking its place over the mountains in the distance. Fenced in fields of green that housed bored-looking cattle and adorable little creeks and ponds made up the first part of our morning ride, which I quickly figured out was the easy part of the trip. By early afternoon, the ride shifted to a narrow trail that cut through a dense thicket of trees and started to sharply incline. Boss was sure of foot and reluctantly stayed in line where we lumbered along between Emrys and the Upper East Side mother. He pulled against my hold on the reins whenever he had to step over something on the trail or whenever the horse in front of us sped up. He did not like to follow and I couldn’t say I blamed him. I was sick of staring at the unflappable woman in front of me, with her perfect posture and her lack of any kind of discomfort. She should strive to have as much control of her marriage and her husband as she did over her horse. I was sweaty from the midday sun and already knew I was going to be aching and saddle sore as soon as I got down from Boss’s back. I was also irritated that Meghan had let her too young daughter maneuver her way up to the front of the line so that she was riding right behind Cy and the pack mules he was guiding with a steady hand. The girl hadn’t stopped peppering him with questions since we took off.

  The teen’s voice was high and clear, so I had no problem hearing her over the thump of the horses’ feet and the occasional snort and whinnies they let out. Cy’s gruff voice was too low and rumbled too deep for me to hear his responses, which drove me nuts because the determined young woman had no qualms about asking him if he had a girlfriend. I wanted to know the answer to that particular question as well. The man didn’t wear a wedding ring and shared his home with a knockout woman who seemed very nice and could really, really cook. If he was playing house with a woman like the beautiful Brynn, there was no way in hell he should be even mildly attracted to someone like me. Regardless of how cute my ass was.

  To distract myself from the conversation happening ahead of me, I turned my attention back to the girl’s mother and decided it wouldn’t hurt
anything to give her a little push in the direction of caring that her kid was chasing after a man who was old enough to be her father.

  “You seem pretty comfortable on that horse. You must ride a lot.” The woman turned and looked at me over her shoulder and immediately her mouth pulled into a frown as she looked past me. I turned to look over my own shoulder and rolled my eyes when I noticed that the woman’s husband had worked his way up so that he was riding right next to Em, even though the trail was way too narrow to be riding side by side. Emrys had on dark sunglasses, so I couldn’t catch her eye but her mouth was twisted into a tight line and her shoulders were stiff. I could tell she was annoyed by the attention and the man’s lack of concern for his or her safety, since he didn’t seem to have the best control over the horse he rode.

  Meghan snapped her attention back to me, and I watched as whatever lingering hope she had that this trip would bring her and her family closer together fall from her face. It was what defeat looked like and it made my heart hurt for her.

  “I actually grew up in a place very similar to the ranch the brothers run. My dad was a cattleman and my mother ran a small shop in the town we lived in up in Montana.” A wry grin twisted her mouth and she looked from me back to her husband. “I hated all of it. I hated the horses and the cows. I hated that my high school only had a hundred kids, at most. I couldn’t wait to leave. I graduated and headed to New York and never looked back. I wanted to live a better, more glamorous life than I could have back home. I met Marcus in college and he made that happen for me.”

  Boss made a noise underneath me and I reached down to pat the side of his neck. I could have sworn he leaned in to my touch and that made me smile softly, even though the animal couldn’t see me.

  “Your kids seem pretty comfortable around horses, as well. You must have made sure they were in touch with a little bit of where you came from.” She was an easy read. She wanted more but when she got it she realized it wasn’t ever going to be enough to fill up that empty place inside of her. She was the kind of consumer my clients would kill for. Easily swayed with tons of disposable income lying around. She shopped for the small thrill it gave her because nothing else in her life satisfied her.

  She shook her perfectly coiffed head and let out a sigh. “No. Marcus insisted the kids go to an exclusive boarding school in Massachusetts. They learned to ride there. He wasn’t pleased when I made him take time off this summer for this trip.” Again, her gaze slid to where her husband was trying, very unsuccessfully, to impress and amaze my best friend.

  “If you don’t get to see your kids much, I’m surprised you aren’t keeping them closer. Don’t you want as much time with them as possible before they go back to school?” I mean my mother wouldn’t want that but I figured most normal mothers would. As an adult, one with a new appreciation for the people who had always loved me and had been there for me even when I wasn’t the easiest person to be around, I wanted to take back all of the time I had wasted chasing after love I would never get. I wanted to invest more in the relationships that mattered. I’d spent a lot of time watching where I stepped and I could see now how that dance had kept me just outside of reach of the people who wanted to hold me close.

  The woman gave me a startled look over her shoulder and turned her attention toward the front of the line. Her daughter was still rambling on to Cy and her son was sitting sullen and unenthused on a pretty, tan Tennessee Walker in front of Lane.

  I cleared my throat a little, inclining my chin toward the ardent teenager. “She should be bonding with you and her brother, not chasing after him. He’s too old for her, and honestly, he doesn’t seem like the type who will be careful with those kinds of tender feelings. She’s going to end up hurt and embarrassed. This trip is going to be nothing more than a bad memory for her if that happens.”

  The woman narrowed her eyes at me and once again looked over me toward her husband. Her mouth tightened and her already stiff shoulders got even more rigid and taut. “Evan wanted to spend the summer in Saint Thomas with some of her friends and Ethan wanted to go to a baseball camp in the Poconos. Neither one of them are thrilled to be here. Evan has been acting out more and more lately. They are both growing up so fast and I feel like I’m missing their entire lives.”

  I shifted in the saddle and bit back a groan as the back of my thighs burned. My ass was going to be a thousand shades of purple and blue by the time I climbed off this horse and there wasn’t a single place to get a massage within a thousand-mile radius.

  “You know the reason she’s focused on a guy old enough to be her dad is because of what is going on with her own father, right? You might think the tension between the two of you and the way his eyes wander is harmless, but it isn’t. Kids know when one or both of their parents aren’t happy, and if you only see your kids occasionally, then all they know when they see their family together is that tension. It bleeds onto them. Kids are far more perceptive than people give them credit for.” I always knew my mom didn’t want me, no matter how many times my grandparents tried to convince me that she simply wasn’t ready for me. I might’ve bought into that bullshit if the woman had bothered to give any inclination that she was interested in how I was doing once I was old enough not to need her anymore. She didn’t care and she never had. Meghan cared, but about the wrong person. She needed to stop trying to salvage a marriage that clearly meant more to her than it did to her husband. There was still time for her to put all her focus on her kids before they were old enough to make their way in the world without her.

  She made a noise in her throat and turned back around in her saddle. She clicked her tongue and pulled her horse up next to Lane, who was ahead of her. After a few words, Lane dropped back and the woman moved her ride up until she was between her kids. I heard the daughter snap something at her but the barrage of questions being aimed at Cy’s back stopped. He cranked his head around and pinned me with a look that made my belly warm and my heart thud heavily.

  I turned to look at Lane as he slowed down until we were side by side on the narrow trail. Boss made a noise and danced to the side a little bit as Lane’s horse got close to his side. Old fear prickled at my skin as my hands tightened on the reins and my knees locked tighter on the animal’s muscular sides.

  “If this horse throws me off and I end up with a broken neck because you’re riding so close, I’m going to sue the shit out of you, Warner.” My voice was a little shaky.

  “Boss won’t throw you. He might take off down the side of the mountain like a bat out of hell, but he won’t buck you off. All you gotta do is hold on tight and you’ll be all right.” That smile that never seemed to dull or falter flashed across his handsome face. “And you can’t sue. You signed the liability waiver.”

  I swore at him under my breath and pointed behind me. Making sure to keep my voice extra low so that it wouldn’t carry through the silence around, I told him, “Stop bugging me and go save Emrys from the creep. She could use a rescue.”

  Lane shot a glance in the direction I was pointing, letting out a sigh that moved his broad chest up and down. “That’s going to be a problem.”

  “Maybe the wife will nip it in the bud.” I didn’t think she had it in her, but there was no telling what all this fresh air and solitude could do to a person. It was hard to see anything other than the mess the husband was making of his family and their vacation when it was just the eight of us and the forest surrounding us. There were no packed schedules, hurried meetings, showings across town, personal assistants, and nights at the gym for him to hide behind. His sleazy behavior was on full display under the pressing sunshine, beneath the call of the birds, and the chatter of the squirrels in the trees.

  “Maybe. She doesn’t seem overly concerned that her kid is all but asking my brother to put a baby in her. Cy isn’t very patient and this is exactly why he never wants to come on the trail. He isn’t a people person.” Lane’s voice wasn’t as quiet as mine so I was sure everyone in front of and behin
d us heard his sharply worded statement.

  I laughed nervously, embarrassed for Evan but admittedly amused by the younger Warner’s astute observation. Cy whipped his head around again. This time those slate-colored eyes narrowed when he noticed how close his little brother was to me. I smiled back at him and tried to make my expression look as innocent as possible. The wide eyes and grin faded quickly when the trail took a sharp turn that led us downhill, which had Boss picking up speed and my backside thumping even more solidly against the leather beneath it.

  Lane laughed at my groan. “You need to move with the horse. Stand up higher in the stirrups and grip him with your knees. It’ll save the wear and tear on that cute ass.”

  I scowled at him but took his advice and moved in the saddle so that my stance mirrored his own. “Did you hear Cy tell me that this morning?”

  “Nope. But I’m not surprised he mentioned it. You do have a nice ass and he’s always had a thing for redheads.” His brow furrowed, like he was remembering a particular redhead from the past he wasn’t very fond of. “He tends to speak his mind even when it’s better that he doesn’t.”

  “He likes redheads, like Brynn?” I asked the question because I wanted to know and because I was too scared to ask the brother who should be answering it. Not that I thought Cy would give me a straight answer. He seemed to enjoy yanking my chain in order to get me riled up. He also wouldn’t love the fact that his younger brother seemed perfectly inclined to share personal details with me, and had been since that first meeting when he told me there was more to his older brother and his bad attitude than meets the eye.

  Lane ran his hand over his jaw and lifted one of his shoulders in a shrug. When he spoke, his voice didn’t have any of the easy charm and happy-go-lucky affability in it that I had come to expect from him during our short acquaintance. In fact, there was a thread of something sharp and pointy in his tone that reminded me a lot of the way I sounded when I had found out that not only was Chris not who he seemed to be, but who I was when I was with him was also a lie. Those pointy things were painful, raw, and opened places for hurt to pour out from.