Ash had no illusions about for ever or true love—like he’d told Zoey, he’d already found that once and didn’t expect to again. But a friendship that also had passion, the way his and Zoey’s did, that was something more than he’d ever imagined having again.
Quite honestly, now he’d had her in his arms this way, it was hard to imagine letting her go.
But Zoey was already pulling away.
‘It’s not David. Or anything else, really. I just think that we’d be better off as friends. Like I said, your friendship is too important to me to risk it on a fling.’
A fling. Was that what this was? Probably, he supposed. It wasn’t as if he was lining up to be the next groom Zoey ran away from, anyway. He just wanted to enjoy what they had right now.
Ash didn’t spend much time thinking about the future. He’d learned the hard way how easily it could be ripped away from him. He wasn’t imagining for ever or happily-ever-after.
He just knew he didn’t want this to end yet.
But was that just his libido talking? Quite possibly.
And Zoey was right. They couldn’t risk their friendship. It was all either of them had, some days.
‘If that’s how you feel,’ he said neutrally. Because, to be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt. So maybe they’d better go with her instincts.
‘It is,’ she said firmly.
Except Zoey’s instincts were notoriously awful. Could he really rely on them for something as important as this?
‘Just...promise me we’ll keep talking,’ he said, looking up at her as she stood, gloriously naked in the sunshine on the deserted beach. ‘That you won’t shut me out or start avoiding me now. That you’ll always be honest with me about how you’re feeling.’
She needed to be able to talk to someone and he was it. Which meant they couldn’t let a little sex make things difficult between them now.
‘Absolutely,’ Zoey said with a firm nod.
‘Good.’ Plus, as long as they kept talking, stayed close, it would give them a chance to figure this out.
Whatever was between them, Ash had a feeling it wouldn’t be put back in its box as easily as Zoey seemed to think it would.
He just wished he could shake the feeling that she was keeping something from him. That her reasons for calling things off weren’t as simple as she was making out. They made sense, of course, whether he fully agreed with them or not.
Still, he was certain there was something else.
‘Zo?’ he asked softly. She bit her lip as she looked down at him. ‘Is there something else? Anything else that’s bothering you. That you’re worried about?’
Her lips parted just a fraction, as if she were about to say something. Then her gaze darted away from him and out towards the ocean beyond, her eyes widening.
‘Look! A boat!’ Bounding over him in a move that caused her body to sway in a way that made Ash catch his breath, Zoey waved her hot pink dress over her head at the sailors. Ash reached for his trousers and pulled them on, less comfortable with his own nudity than Zoey apparently was.
Or perhaps she’s just so desperate to get away from me, from this conversation, that she doesn’t care about being naked in front of strangers.
He shook the thought away. Why would she be running from him?
Except she was. Tugging her dress over her head as she ran, Zoey raced towards the boat—a rescue service from one of the local hotels, by the look of things—laughing and calling out to their rescuers.
Apparently, their escape to paradise together was over.
CHAPTER SEVEN
IT WASN’T UNTIL she was safely on the boat that Zoey considered what she was heading back to.
Until then she’d been far too busy remembering what she was leaving behind.
Ash was quiet on the journey, and she knew the question she hadn’t answered had to be weighing as heavily on him as it was on her. But how was she supposed to say, I’m terrified that if I spend any longer with you this way I’ll fall so deeply in love I can’t get out again?
He didn’t want for ever—he’d had that. She knew that Ash made a point of living in the moment these days—even if it drove his father, and shareholders, crazy when it came to the business. He’d already had what she was still searching for.
And she had to believe that one day, against all the odds, she’d find it.
Then maybe she could make it through an actual wedding of her own.
‘Want me to come with you to talk to David?’ Ash asked quietly from beside her as the stood at the rail and watched the hotel grow closer and closer.
Zoey shook her head. ‘I think I’d better do this one alone.’ She looked down at herself. ‘Hopefully after a shower and a change of clothes.’
The boat docked and two men jumped over the rail to tie it up. Ash helped her step over onto the jetty, just like he had the night before, in the middle of the storm. How different things were now, though.
Since last night everything felt different. Most of all Zoey herself.
‘Where the hell have you been?’
Zoey winced at the voice. She’d been expecting David, but no. First on the scene were her parents. Just perfect.
Her father’s face was bright red as he stalked down the jetty towards them. Part sunburn, part fury, Zoey decided dispassionately.
‘We didn’t fly all the way out here just so you could run off with some other bloke the night before your wedding!’ He waved a hand vaguely at Ash, who sensibly put his hands in his pockets and looked away.
No, you came here for the free bar and the chance to cosy up to potential clients, Zoey thought, but didn’t say.
‘I’m sorry, Dad. I couldn’t go through with it. Ash—You remember Ash, right? Grace’s husband?’ Her father looked blankly at him. Zoey wasn’t all that surprised. It wasn’t as if she’d spent a lot of time socialising with her parents and friends together, or filling her mum and dad in on the events of her life.
They were far more preoccupied with their own lives and dramas, anyway.
‘You ran off with your best friend’s husband?’ her mother shrieked, because clearly this whole situation wasn’t embarrassing enough as it was.
‘Widower,’ Ash corrected calmly. ‘And all I did was help Zoey find some time and space to decide what she wanted to do next.’ Which wasn’t entirely true, unless Ash counted fantastic sex as some sort of decision matrix.
Which it might have been, really. There was no way Zoey could go back to the same old boring sex she’d had with David after one night with Ash.
Her parents weren’t listening to him, though. Or to her, really. They’d turned the whole event into the Hugh and Tanya show, as usual.
‘I always knew you were just like your father,’ her mother, Tanya, said, looking accusingly at her husband.
‘Oh, really?’ Hugh replied, his tone sharp. ‘Because I was just thinking she was just like her mother. Which one of us was it that ran off with the waiter at our anniversary dinner?’
‘And who had a three-year affair with my best friend?’ Tanya shot back.
‘You know, I can’t help but think sometimes the world would be a better place if one of you hadn’t shown up at the church on your wedding day,’ Zoey said, safe in the knowledge that neither of them were listening to her. They were too busy throwing past misdeeds in each other’s faces.
They’d make up later, Zoey knew from bitter past experience. They’d be all over each other in the bar for at least an hour or two before something else set them at each other’s throats.
‘Except if they hadn’t married you’d have never been born,’ Ash pointed out. At least someone listened to her.
Then Zoey caught sight of David, pale and with huge circles under his eyes, approaching them on the jetty.
‘Even so,’ Zoey murmured, ‘i
t might have been for the best.’
* * *
Ash watched, helpless, as David led Zoey away, back towards the hotel.
Their wedding venue, if she’d stayed. Was he taking her back to the bridal suite right now? What would he do? Say?
Ash knew he had absolutely no right in the world to feel jealous, but that didn’t seem to be stopping him.
Zoey couldn’t go back to him, could she? Not because of last night, or what they’d shared. But because he wanted her to be happy—and he was more sure than ever now that David couldn’t give her that.
Mr and Mrs Hepburn were still at each other’s throats, filling the air with accusations and curses that Ash didn’t care to hear. Leaving them behind, he headed towards the hotel, hoping a hot shower would help wash away some of the emotions last night had raised.
‘You.’ The word—spat at him with real venom—gave him pause.
With a small sigh, he turned to the speaker. ‘Benji. Hi.’ David’s best man was a small rat of a guy who seemed to want to compensate for his lack of size with sheer volume and theatrics. Not unlike Zoey’s parents, Ash decided, hiding a lack of love with an excess of showy passion.
‘David always said that you were trouble. That you had a thing for Zoey.’ Benji was trying to get up in his space—at least that was what Ash thought he was doing. Being a full head shorter than him meant that Benji had to maintain some distance just to be able to look him in the eye.
Ash thought about crouching down to make things easier for him, but figured that would just be patronising. Tempting though it was.
‘Look, Benji, whatever you think was going on here...’ Ash trailed off. How could he truly complete that sentence without lying horribly? Sure, maybe his intentions in taking Zoey away from the island had been entirely honourable, but that didn’t change what had actually happened next.
‘I think you wanted Zoey for yourself, so you stole her away when she was vulnerable. David says you never liked him, never thought he was good enough for Zoey—as if she wasn’t the one with the track record for destroying lives!’
‘Hey,’ Ash snapped. ‘That’s enough. Zoey made a decision—I just helped her out.’
‘I’m sure you did,’ Benji said, with enough sleaze in his voice to make Ash feel even dirtier than he already did.
Suddenly, the full implications of their actions seemed to settle on his shoulders and he felt older, more tired and more disgusted with himself than he’d been in years.
Whatever his intentions, he’d made things harder for Zoey. He should have just insisted she talk to David, like any normal person would if they were having doubts the night before their wedding. Like Grace would have persuaded her to do.
Why hadn’t he? Was Benji right? Had he wanted Zoey for himself?
He’d never really thought about Zoey that way until yesterday. She was Grace’s friend, so would have been completely off-limits even if he hadn’t been totally in love with his wife. But when Grace was alive he’d never looked beyond her—he hadn’t needed or wanted to. She’d been his world.
And since his world had come crashing down around him, romance had honestly been the last thing on his mind. Even if it hadn’t, he doubted he would have even considered Zoey a possibility.
She was his friend. His best friend. Possibly his only friend.
It had taken some pretty extreme circumstances to get him to see beyond that. To look at her in the light of the storm and really see her—wild and free and stubborn and so, so beautiful. Someone who trusted him to help her, who could laugh with him even when everything was falling apart.
And now? What was she now?
Still his friend, he hoped.
And she was right. They had to forget everything that had happened on the island.
Because back here in the real world, with David waiting on the dock, Ash could see at last the answer Zoey hadn’t given him on the island—the real reason they couldn’t carry this on.
She wanted a happily-ever-after marriage—she wanted for ever. And he’d already given his away with his heart.
He loved Zoey, of course he did. She was family, practically. And he wanted her—that much was obvious after last night.
But neither of those things added up to what Zoey wanted from her future. Not to mention that he had no idea if she’d even want him to feature in that future.
He had to let her go so she could find the true love she was looking for. However much his selfish heart wanted to keep her for himself.
They hadn’t talked about the repercussions of their actions before they took them. If they had, they’d probably never have even kissed. Overthinking things was a definite passion-killer.
Except...oh, God. There was definitely one thing that they should have talked about before sleeping together. Ash hadn’t thought beyond making sure that Zoey was happy with what they were doing.
He hadn’t thought about protection at all, too overcome with lust to remember even that basic necessity.
Probably because he hadn’t needed to, for years. Two years of celibacy had been preceded by Grace being pregnant or them trying. And even before that Grace had been on the Pill, and they’d both been tested and clean. He hadn’t thought about contraceptives since he was a teenager.
And he couldn’t think about them right now. He had to focus on getting Zoey through the next twenty-four hours first.
Most of all, she needed to get through this latest wedding breakdown with her sanity intact, and without ruining her reputation more than ever. A runaway bride was one thing. A cheating runaway bride was another. Plus, there were the practicalities to consider—she was living with David, had given up her flat last year. So where was she planning on going?
‘Look, Benji. Here’s the full story, okay? Zoey had cold feet. She wanted to get away from here to think, so I took her out on the boat. A storm came up so we sheltered in a half-renovated villa my company owns. It was dusty, dirty and the least romantic place you can imagine.’ And yet... ‘This morning we waited for a rescue boat as ours had been damaged in the storm. Then we came back so that Zoey could talk to David. It was as simple and as boring as that. Okay?’
All true—except for the major omissions. But Benji had no right to that information anyway, so Ash didn’t feel too guilty about keeping it from him.
‘That’s really all?’ Benji asked, his tone both doubtful and disappointed.
Ash gave a sharp nod. ‘Now, if you don’t mind, I am in desperate need of a shower.’
He brushed past the best man, heading for his room and hoping that hot water could wash away memories.
And guilt.
* * *
This. This was the part she hated the most. Explaining herself. Justifying her unjustifiable actions.
‘David...’
‘No.’ David cut her off as he jabbed at the button, waiting for the lift that would take them all the way to the honeymoon suite on the top floor.
Zoey looked down at her ruined pink dress and thought about the beautiful ivory lace one that was hanging from the wardrobe in the suite. The dress she’d never wear now. Just like all the others.
They rode the lift in silence. Zoey stared straight ahead, avoiding catching her own eye in any of the reflections glinting from the mirror-lined walls. She didn’t want to see the guilt there.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the lift doors opened onto the top corridor and David strode out towards the honeymoon suite door. Zoey followed, her steps more hesitant.
She wished she’d spent more of the time since she’d left on that boat preparing for this conversation. But instead she’d found herself debating and stressing over an entirely different problem. One she couldn’t even have predicted having twenty-four hours earlier.
But at least her night with Ash had made one thing very, very clear: there was
no way she could marry David now.
Even if she confessed all and he still wanted her, she knew it wouldn’t be fair—to either of them. She might not be able to find a future with Ash, but she was damned if she was going to settle for anything less than she’d felt with him last night.
How depressing was it that her most fulfilling relationship might actually be a one-night stand?
She stepped into the bridal suite and the door swung shut behind her, closing with an almost inaudible click. No slammed doors, no drama.
Except that David looked like he might explode any second now. Even standing with his back to her, staring out of the window at the blue, blue sea that surrounded them, Zoey could read the tension and the anger in his shoulders, his arms, even his legs.
David was furious. Understandably.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said quickly. It was best to get that one out immediately, although she was under no illusion that it was the last time she’d be saying it in this conversation.
‘Do you ever wonder what it says about you that you have to say that so often?’ David spun around from the window, his handsome face ugly with hatred.
Zoey recoiled. David had always been an attractive man in a bland, easy way. No sharp features, just neat hair, neat jaw line, regularly spaced eyes and so on. Like a stock image, or one of those photos that came in a picture frame when you bought it.
He looked ordinary, in an attractive way.
But not now.
‘I shouldn’t have run. I should have talked to you first. I’m sorry,’ she repeated, trying to keep her tone calm and conciliatory, even though her heart was racing.
‘What you should have done was go through with the damned wedding!’ he yelled, slamming his hand down on the desk at the window.
Zoey flinched at the crack of his palm against the wood. ‘I’m sorry. I got cold feet. I just... I don’t think we would have made each other happy for the rest of our lives.’
‘So? Marriage isn’t about being happy, Zoey. You’ve always had some sort of idealised view of what a relationship should be, but it’s not all roses and sunshine all the time. Nobody has that!’
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