My eyes begin to turn glossy. Tears threaten to fall. Gone is the happy high I once held and a sad high takes its place.
I glance down and fight back the urge to cry. I can’t let Austin see me sad. I can’t let him know the truth. I can’t say it. My voice is low, shaky and full of so much pain,
“She won’t believe me,” I mumble. Austin lifts my chin and his piercing stare is all I see.
“Then make her listen. Tell her what you told me. If she cares for you as you care for her then she will listen. If she chooses not to, then so be it. You do not need her.” His advice hits me hard. He’s right. I just need to come clean and lay my heart out. I’m doing it to protect her. I have to tell her. I have to make her listen and if she doesn’t. Then— then maybe she doesn’t belong in my life.
I nod, and then bury my face in the crook of his neck. He’s so warm, so intoxicating. His scent is just what I need to relax me. Its dark, yet so sweet and I can’t get enough of it. I inhale deeply, breathing him in, feeling my lungs with nothing but him.
He holds the back of my head and massages my scalp. I close my eyes and relax to the feel of those gentle fingers.
“She makes you sad and I will not have that. We will go back to the party. You will talk to Van and if she refuses to listen to you, she will be no more. As for Cole. He has angered you and that I cannot let go unpunished,” he calmly tells me.
I pull back to face him.
“What do mean? What are you planning to do to him?” I ask in worry. I shouldn’t be worried for him but a small part of me still does for some new reason.
“He hurt you. You know by now, what I do to those who hurt you.” I gasp and release a shaky breath.
He can’t hurt him.
“Austin… no.” A little smirk plays on his lips, his head tilts and he snorts. I am biting my bottom lip, to keep it from trembling.
“Keep biting that lip and I will claim it once more,” he warns. I stop biting it.
“You can’t hurt him,” I tell him.
“I can do whatever I wish. Why do you protect him? I thought you hated him?” he asks. I do. I don’t... I don’t know. Conflicting feelings invade the way I thought I once felt for Cole. It’s like my mind and body are at war over why I should and shouldn’t hate him. I’m so confused.
I still feel high. The tingling sensation swirls within my blood stream, clouding every cell in my body. I feel so internally numb, and for once, I feel as though I can finally think more clearly. I can see more clearly. I’m seeing everything more clearly. More clearly than I’ve seen all week.
Quick flashes of Cole and another face, flicker within my mind. It’s like my mind is trying to work to remember some memory but something won’t let me. I try to focus on the flashes, I recognize Cole, but not of the woman who stands before us. Who is this woman? This very beautiful woman with long black hair and bright blue eyes? I don’t understand what I am seeing, who I am seeing.
There’s this mysterious box, hidden deep within a dark corner of my mind and it’s leaking. It’s hiding something. I can feel it. It doesn’t belong there, yet here it is. It’s hiding something about Cole. It’s hiding something about the woman. What is it hiding? Why is it here?
“Emilia?” Austin calls. I snap out of my trance and stare at him.
“What?” I ask.
“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” he wonders.
“I don’t know. I just feel different,” I confess.
“Hmm. I see change is already taking effect,” he replies.
“What change?” I ask.
“I might have snuck a drop of my blood in you, while tasting yours. It was only a sample of what is to come but from what I gather, I see my blood has already begun its cleansing.”
“Cleansing?” I repeat.
“Healing. Restoring. Soon you’ll remember everything, my sweet and I won’t have to remind you of what I hid away.” I inhale a shaky breath. Hid? The box… was that what it is? A box full of forgotten memories? I suppose if it is, then I’ll soon know. I’ll remember.
“Finally,” I sass. He glances down for a second and smiles lightly. When his eyes meet mine again, his look has grown more serious.
“I’m going to ask you one more time Emilia, why do you protect Cole? Why do you no longer hate him? Something has changed inside you. You fight between two feelings for him now.” He is right. Something is changing within me. It’s on the tip of my tongue. It’s within my reach. I try to push to uncover whatever is hidden within the corner of my mind, but I just cannot reach it. Something is still blocking me.
“I do hate him, but I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to see him hurt anymore. You can’t just hurt everyone who— you can’t just hurt everyone!” I tell him. He chuckles. I’ve barely ever heard this boy laugh, so to hear it now, truly worries me.
“I’ll think about it,” he replies, and I don’t believe him. I can feel it. No matter what. He’s planning something. I have to stop him. I can’t have him hurt Cole. I don’t understand this awakening feeling I have to protect Cole, but its surfacing, leaking from its internal crate within my mind.
I take a deep breath and sigh.
“I think we should head back to the party,” I suggest.
I am done talking about this. It is now I who needed a distraction, because lord help me, I am an inch away from exploding and releasing something wicked and I’d really rather not blow up on the boy before me. I need to keep these conflicting feelings in check. I needed a gosh damn distraction.
Austin nods and sighs. His large hands grip my ass. He stands and sets me down. My hands slide from his neck, down his chest and stop to rest there. We’re both gazing at one another. I am breathing heavily, heat blowing from my nostrils, but I am calm. Angry but calm.
“Fate holds the future and it can be beautiful or it can be cruel. Tonight, fate chooses a side,” he says. I know what he is referring to. I know his intentions. Tonight, he plans to kill Cole and I don’t think even I can stop him.
He releases me and begins to walk away, leaving me standing, fuming in place. He stops a few feet away, turns and reaches his hand out towards me.
“Come Emilia,” he tells me. I pause for a short moment, giving him the evil eye. He smirks and then smiles brightly, chuckling once more.
“Emilia… don’t be upset with me, my sweet. Come here,” he demands. I want to say no. I want to walk away. I want to yell at him. Curse him. Fight him, but I can’t. I can’t do any of that. Instead I take a step towards him and place my hand in his. He smiles warmly and pulls me in for a hug, holding my head against his chest.
“You can’t deny me, sweetness. You will lose every time. That I promise you,” he says. I release an annoyed breath and relax. Stupid bond. Gets me every time.
CHAPTER 24 - IT’S ONLY YOU
We walk together in silence, side by side with our fingers interlaced for a time. He says nothing, I say nothing. I know he feels my irritation and I don’t care. Let him feel it. Let him feel how upset he makes me. Maybe then he’ll realize—
“There you are babe!” No. Not him. Not now. Fuck.
“Cole, run,” I mentally urge. Austin turns to me and he is fuming.
“He runs and I will happily chase, my sweet,” he speaks within my mind.
The blue-eyed boy turns his sinister glare to Cole, who is standing ahead of us.
There are people everywhere, hanging out and coming and going to and from the party.
“Austin. Don’t do anything stupid. You hear me? There are people everywhere,” I mentally tell him.
“What do you want Cole?” I ask. Hoping he’d just say what he has to say and leave. Austin’s grip on my hand grows stronger, almost crushing my bones.
“Ow!” I complain and pull my hand away from his. He gazes at me, then down at my hand, before looking back at me. His apologetic eyes are only on me for a moment before he’s glaring back at Cole.
Cole begins to move towards us
but stops when he sees Austin’s arm swing around my waist and pull me into his side. Cole’s cheerful façade drops, after seeing this and then he glances up at us and fakes a closed mouth smile.
“I was looking for you Em. I was hoping you would come. Do you mind if we talk for a second?” he genuinely asks.
It’s as if he is totally ignoring the tall giant beside me. Meanwhile, I can feel Austin become restless. That hand of his on my hip moves under my shirt and caresses my stomach. I notice Cole’s eyes drop and observe it.
It then hits me. I realize what Austin is doing… he’s trying to make Cole jealous. God, possessive much? It’s actually kind of hot.
I notice a slight lip raise, at the corner of Austin’s mouth. He wants to smile at my comment, but he’s too arrogant to allow himself to drop his macho dominant glare towards Cole.
“Cole. It’s not really a good time. Maybe later?” Cole’s jaw tightens and he swallows back a lump. He seems almost nervous, impatient even.
“Um. I kind of wanted to talk to you now. Alone Em,” he adds. What does he want to talk about?
Austin’s arm around me, squeezes me against him. He puffs out his chest, sighing loudly.
“Calm down big guy,” I tell him. I slide my hand under his shirt and caress the skin of his back and I can feel him begin to slightly calm.
Before I can open my mouth and reply back to Cole, Austin beats me to it.
“Emilia is not going anywhere with you,” he deeply threatens.
There’s a cocky smile emerging from Cole’s lips. He turns his attention to Austin, tilts his head and smiles smugly.
“I wasn’t talking to you, was I?”
“You talk to Emilia, you talk to me,” Austin fights back.
“Well, Emilia is a big girl. She doesn’t need you to speak for her,” Cole argues.
I’ve had enough. I pull away from Austin’s death hold and move to stand between the two immature jerks.
“Cole. You’re right. I can speak for myself and I’m telling you, now is not a good time to talk. I really think you should go. Please.” I try pleading with my eyes. For a short, quiet moment, him and I are locked in an unknown gaze. He wants to tell me something and I want to tell him something but now is just not the time.
After a moment, he finally speaks,
“Em…” he starts to say but stops and glances up at the blue-eyed boy behind me. He glances back to me and picks up where he left off. “Emilia. I really think you should come with me. Please. There’s something really important that I need to talk to you about.” He seems to be trying to hint at something and I am just not getting it. Anxiety suddenly floods me. Does he know about Austin? Oh no… he must know. Oh shit…
I turn and gaze up at my giant. His glaring eyes are still locked on a nervous Cole. I rest a hand against my giant’s cheek and hold it there.
“Austin. Listen to my voice. Listen to me please. Let’s go. Let’s get out of here. He knows.”
“Knows what?” Cole asks. I turn and gaze confusedly at him.
“You don’t know?” I ask him.
“Don’t know what? What am I supposed to know?” Cole seems just as confused as I. Maybe he doesn’t know then.
“Nothing. Never mind,” I quickly say, but Cole seems to have something brewing in his mind.
“Em. Are you talking about—” He stops himself as his eyes quickly glance up to Austin and then back to me. “Em. Has he— Has he hurt you? Is he forcing you to keep quiet?” he firmly asks. My eyes bulge. I repeat his words. Has he hurt me? Austin. Hurt, me? WHAT!
Austin rushes in front of me and pushes me behind him.
“I’ve never hurt her! How dare you accuse me of hurting her! You’re the one who caused her pain!” Austin shouts.
“I’ve caused her pain?” Cole asks, pointing to his chest. “Dude, what the Hell are you talking about? Everything was fine, before you showed up. We were fine before you showed up. The only pain I might have caused her was confusion between choosing me or you but seeing how obsessed she is with you. I know she can’t be that confused anymore. She obviously picked you,” he finishes, and I am left utterly confused by what he just admitted.
My mouth is gaped open and I am staring at Cole in shock. I can see within my peripheral view, that Austin is glaring at me. I feel him. Betrayal. He believes Cole. Suddenly, the shock of what Cole said wears off, and in its place, rises the darkness within. Its wrath rushes through my veins in a rapid, untamed fury. Gone is the need to protect Cole and in its place is the need to burn, to torture, to kill.
I am fuming. I am angry. I am gone. She is back. I am back. The monster inside me has returned.
I march towards Cole, charging him head on.
“YOU LIAR! YOU FUCKING LIAR!” I yell, raising my fist to hit him but before I can land a punch, two large arms wrap around me and hold me back. “NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! HE LIES! HE
LIES! LET ME GOOOO!” I rage, kicking and screaming all while Austin holds my manic body back from releasing Hell on the boy before me.
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Cole screams.
“YOU LIE! I NEVER WANTED YOU! YOU WANTED ME! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU! LET ME GOOOO!”
“EMILIA! CALM!” Austin yells at me. His hand rests against my forehead and he repeats himself. “Calm,” he gently says. I gasp and release a broken breath. I’m calmer, dizzy and now in control. “Breathe sweetness. Relax,” he gently tells me, leaving a soft peck on my temple.
I turn in his arms and gaze up at him with watery eyes.
“He lies Austin. You don’t believe him, do you?” I ask him.
“Only one way to find out. Emilia, do you care for Cole as more than just a friend?” The answer is simple.
“No,” I firmly state. Austin sighs, and disappointment follows.
“Lie,” is all he says, and I brake. Tears flood my eyes and pour down my cheeks in endless streams.
“I’m not lying. I never cared for him as more than just a friend. I don’t know what he’s talking about. I promise you. I don’t know,” I cry. Austin’s head tilts and I feel him search within me and suddenly, I’m not the only one confused.
“A lie but also the truth. You lie about your feelings towards him, yet you tell the truth about not knowing what he talks about. How can that be?” he asks.
“I don’t know but you have to believe me. I don’t have feelings for him. Not now, not ever. It’s only you,” I say, while cupping his cheeks between my hands.
Our attention is distracted when Cole speaks up.
“Emilia. I don’t understand why you are denying us. If you’re scared of him… if you’re scared of him hurting you for liking someone else, then you need to come with me. Right now. Emilia please come to me babe,” Cole begs.
I don’t turn around. I don’t look away from my giant.
“I don’t want him. I don’t want to go with him. I’m staying here with you.” He says nothing but gazes deeply into my eyes, into our soul.
“Emilia!” Cole yells. “I love you! I love you damnit! And you love me! Don’t pretend you don’t. You know you do! You know you do… you told me…” Cole cries at the end. Austin is panting, nostrils flared. His watery eyes blink rapidly, searching for answers within me.
“That’s not true. Don’t believe him,” I tell the boy.
“Emelia! Don’t you dare ignore me! Emelia! You coward! He’s not good for you! You’re my best friend! You know me! EMILIA!” Coles shouts behind me.
Austin’s glaring eyes shoot up, over my shoulder.
It happens fast. Within a second, Austin moves towards Cole at an inhuman speed and lifts him into the air, holding him by the throat with one firm grip.
“EMILIA IS MINE!” he roars.
Coles legs kick wildly, while his hands attempt to remove Austin’s death grip.
I stand where I am and watch as my mate threatens to end the life of the one who had caused me so much pain. I stand where I am, and I smile.
&
nbsp; “NOOOO!” screams a girl. My head turns and there is my best friend, Van, running towards the scene before me.
I just now notice that we had gathered an audience. Many people stand around the front yard and sidewalk, watching the scene in horror.
Van makes it to Cole and reaches for Austin’s hand. She’s trying to pry his fingers away from Cole’s throat.
“LET HIM GO!” she desperately yells.
Austin doesn’t budge. He doesn’t even flinch. His glare never shifts away from the boy he holds. No. He only continues gripping the boy’s throat and lifts him higher. Cole’s feet dangle, his arms flail wildly, trying to free himself from his captor.
“Emilia! Do something!” Van orders me. I gaze at her terrified expression and see the tears that fall down her cheeks, yet I feel nothing for her. I feel nothing for Cole. I am empty. Emotionless.
I’ve lost my humanity.
Disappointment is casted upon her face when she realizes that I refuse to do a damn thing. She shakes her head at me, before jumping on Austin’s back. She starts hitting him wherever she can and seeing this only heats my boiling blood even more.
I run towards my mate, grab Van and throw her off. She crashes to the ground, rolling until she lands flat on her back. I stalk towards her just as she stares up at me with confusion and a hint of fear in her eyes.
“Emilia… what the Hell are you doing?” she asks, while slowly crawling back on her hands and feet.
People around us are screaming, crying and shouting for Austin to let go of Cole. I don’t dare turn around. My eyes are glued to the one who attempted to hurt my mate.
“Emilia. Please! Stop him. Cole is your friend. He’s your friend Em. He’s going to kill him. You have to stop him. Please!” she cries.
“Cole is not my friend,” I growl behind clenched teeth. I am losing myself to the darkness. I have become the darkness. I am the darkness.
THE MONSTER INSIDE ME: The Immortal Chronicles: Book One Page 20