My head lightens, and the room suddenly spins, my body lost in the carousel. I release a silent scream as I stop at the edge of a cliff. The world is cyan again, like in the Intersection, and I twist my head around to see where I am. I’ve been here—with Javen. No. My lips press into a line. This is the place from my dreams after the explosion on the Pathfinder, after Javen saved me. He was never really here. All I experienced was in my head. At least, I think it was.
Gingerly, I back away from the cliff’s edge. This time, I have a body, but I have no idea if what I’m experiencing is real or not. I don’t want to take any chances.
“Cassiopeia,” a raspy female voice says from behind.
I nearly jump out my skin but turn to see who the voice belongs to. A beautiful, willowy woman stands no more than ten feet away. A slight breeze lifts a few wisps of her dark hair into the wind.
Zarah.
“Did you bring me here?” I ask.
Zarah’s lips curl into a soft smile. “This is where my mind lives. So, I suppose I did.”
“What happened? Why are you this way?”
Zarah steps toward me and takes my hands. I suck in a soft breath as Starfire energy flows from her body to mine. Her eyes shift into a glowing swirl. “Cassiopeia, I am the Protector of the Intersection.”
Chapter 9
Istare wide-eyed at Zarah, my lips parted. “The Protector of the Intersection?” I glance at the rocks and trees around us. I thought this was only the place of dreams. But with the heavy cyan color, the landscape does appear very much like the middle dimension. Are we in the Intersection now? Is that where I met Javen in my dreams after he saved me from the explosion?
“But your body is on Paxon,” I say.
Zarah chuckles, her delicate features becoming even more beautiful when tiny lines form around her eyes. “Yes, the entire situation is quite inconvenient.”
Shuffling my feet, I peer down to the ground. The muscles in my stomach tighten with apprehension, but I might as well be honest with as much as I know.
“My grandfather was the Protector,” I mumble. “He . . . he came to Earth and left the Intersection unguarded.”
Zarah lifts her hand and places her fingers over my heart. Starfire energy surges through my body. My knees nearly buckle, but I will myself to stand.
“And the Starfire is in you now,” Zarah says. Wisps of light encircle us, twisting and chasing each other.
My legs strengthen again, and I gaze into her swirling irises. Through a shaky breath, I force the word out. “Yes.”
Zarah lowers her hand to her side, and the lights vanish. “Walk with me.”
Silently, I obey. We move farther away from the cliff, down a rocky mountainside path.
“We’re not truly within the Intersection. This is only a version of it from my and now your mind. Because of that, we can go anywhere at any time. Shall we transport to a new location?”
I shrug, and then Zarah closes her eyelids.
When she does, the Starfire shifts in my body again like an electric pulse. I blink, and we’re in a new place. A massive lake ripples before us, sparkling in the sun. I gaze around in wonder. If back on Earth, this would be a place people would visit on the weekends with their families. I can nearly smell the aroma of barbecue and hear the sounds of children laughing and splashing in the shallow waters. Zarah grazes my upper arm with the tips of her fingers and steps out onto the narrow beach.
“I love this place. So peaceful,” she says under her breath. “Many times, I’ve come here to think about my family and life on Paxon—how it should have been.”
I step onto the soft, cool sand and watch as the waves lap against the shore. We just stand there, absorbing the landscape for . . . Well, I don’t know how long. But as we meditate, the war on Arcadia and the Alku’s change in behavior seems to disappear, leaving me lighter, if only for a short time.
“I know everything that happened with your grandfather, Kieran,” Zarah finally says.
“How?”
She sighs. “When he died and the Starfire released from him, the energy had to search for a new host. Kieran lived in the Intersection for a very long time—longer than any of the others. He performed his duty well, but in the end, he became too lonely. He had been there too long. When the Starfire attempted to inhabit me, I received his memories and the memories from the previous Protectors.”
“How long was he here?”
“Hundreds of years, maybe more. But the memories are jumbled, and I don’t think your grandfather even knew how long.”
A wave of panic moves through me. How could he not go insane? Centuries by himself?
I face her. “Something went wrong when the transfer came to you.”
The corners of Zarah’s lips droop and she twists a few strands of her dark hair with her fingers. “Yes. It could have been from the distance between Earth and Paxon, or even because he abandoned his duty.” She releases her hair. “Honestly, I don’t have the answers. The transfer simply did not go smoothly.”
Vihann and infant Javen crystalizes in the front of my mind. “And the transfer happened as Javen was born?”
Zarah’s shoulders relax and her lips tilt up into a soft smile again. “Yes . . . Javen. His birth is another reason the transfer may not have completed properly.”
“Do you know what should have happened?”
“I’ve only been able to gather the information from the prior Protectors’ memories. From their knowledge, I’ve gathered this: when the Starfire took hold of my body, I believe I was to be transported into the Intersection physically. I would have lived my life out in that dimension. But with all the other complications I mentioned, plus giving birth, I must have fought the Starfire. I ended up in an in-between, with my mind and body in two separate places.”
“Stuck,” I say. “Never being able to fully participate in either life.”
“Yes,” Zarah says.
“Why didn’t the Starfire choose another when the transfer didn’t work?”
“Because the next candidate was not available.” She moves closer and pulls me into an embrace. I don’t resist. In fact, I crave the motherly connection.
Warmth fills me, and a flutter of memories of Javen fill my mind. Of my time with him. Of our connection. Feelings mostly, but also a few of his memories I’ve experienced through the Starfire. Like the time he first learned how to use the Starfire to transport. My chest tightens as I watch his nine-year-old self attempt to focus his mind and connect to the Starfire powers unsuccessfully. But when it finally worked, I see the pride in both Vihann and Javen’s eyes. I can’t contain the smile on my face. It’s as if I were really there.
I freely share everything I know with his mother. She’s missed so much.
Zarah gently pulls from me, and tears moisten her cheeks. “Your connection with my son is strong—from deep inside you.”
Tears sting the corners of my eyes and I look up to the cyan sky to force them away. “I’m sorry if experiencing that connection hurts you.”
She blots at the tears. “No, not at all. I’ve accepted my life here and what I was supposed to do as the Protector. I am willing to be a sacrifice for my people. But it’s good to know you care about him so much. Great love is one of the experiences a mother wishes for her child.”
My heart aches for her. To be so prepared to give up everything you love? I can’t imagine it. “Do you know much about Javen? About his life?”
“I have received visions, so I have seen him grow. But visions are not the same as actually being there with him.”
My stomach twists. “Then you are aware of his situation now?”
Sadness clouds Zarah’s eyes and she glances away. “Yes. I believe a weakness—a vulnerability in my people—is the Intersection’s cry for a Protector.” She looks back to me and holds my gaze. “But they’re your people, too.”
The lake’s waves kick up with the breeze right as a fish jumps from the water. The creature twists i
ts body in the air and then returns to its watery home with a splash. This place is so much like Earth, and so entirely not.
I return my attention to Zarah. “I am Alku. At least part Alku.”
“And that is why you are here. The Starfire called for you.”
A heaviness settles on me. “My mother made sure of it. I have her journal that chronicles her work to travel to Arcadia. But she couldn’t join us.”
Zarah tips her head in confusion.
“Mom had visions too, and they showed her that she would die before our journey. She passed away in an accident a year before we came.” I hang my head as the words continue to burn in my throat. This time, I allow the tears to come. What does it matter if I show my emotions in front of Zarah? They’re part of who I am, and I’m proud of my mom for completing her own task in this journey, even though she knew we wouldn’t be here together as a family.
Zarah’s eyes are full of compassion. “Your mother was a brave woman.”
“Just like you. Your son is brave, too.”
“Javen is a good match for you,” she says. “He has a good heart like his father, and I have seen yours. Kieran made a mistake by leaving his post in the Intersection, but he was a good man, too. I have seen him in my memories. No one is perfect, and one person can’t be expected to bear such a burden for so long. We just need to repair the damage that has been done.”
“And how do we do that?” I ask. “Can I help your body to rejoin with your mind again? Then you can fulfill your duty.”
A sad smile softens Zarah’s lips. “That is not what the Starfire has shown me.”
My stomach drops. “Then what can we do? We need to set things right again. Javen and many of your people’s minds have been trapped—changed by the Mother Starfire.”
“And if they continue to be trapped, I believe it will be the end of both of our worlds.”
Zarah turns and begins walking down the beach along the edge of the lake’s shore, allowing the water to cover her bare feet. As if she’s trying to avoid telling me something.
I race to catch up to her.
“Then what do we do?” I ask when I reach her.
Her face is relaxed, her eyes glassy. “I have had a vision, but I have not seen how the story ends.”
My stomach roils with her cryptic words. “Tell me! Please!”
Her gaze clears and locks onto mine. “I must transfer the duty to you. The Starfire has shown me how.”
I drop my hand from Zarah’s arm. “What are you talking about?” My chest tightens. “I can’t be the One Pure Soul. I can’t do this—be alone in the Intersection forever! You must be wrong.”
“This is not my choice,” she whispers. “Despite wanting my life with my husband and son back, I told you I would do my duty if I could. But that is not the Starfire’s wish. The only way I know how to set the problem right is by transferring the responsibility to you. This is what the visions have told me.”
“Well, the visions are wrong!” I yell.
Lowering her voice, Zarah asks, “Were your mother’s visions wrong?”
My breath comes in short pants. “I wanted them to be wrong because she died in the end.” My knees weaken, and I fall onto the soft sand and cover my face with my hands as I sob, “Don’t make me do this. I want to have a normal life—I want Javen to be better and to go back to him.” Heavy tears flow down my face as I continue to sob.
Zarah lowers herself next to me and drapes an arm around my shoulder. I want to pull from her and run away, but where would I go? This entire place is in our minds, and she could follow me anywhere if she wanted to. So instead, I allow Javen’s mother to calm me as if she were my own.
Finally, I raise my head and focus on the lake. The sun casts a glare on the rippling water. As the rhythm soothes my soul, the image breaks apart and comes together again in a seemingly unending pattern.
“I will not make you, Cassi,” Zarah says. “The Starfire showed me that I cannot. If the crystals wanted to take you, they would, as they tried to take me. But they won’t. My visions have told me that you must choose this path of your own free will. This is very different than any of the Protectors, except the first. He chose to take and hide the Mother Starfire to save our people. The rest had little choice but to accept their duty.”
“Except my grandfather,” I say.
“Yes,” Zarah says. “I think by you choosing to become a Protector, the path will become straight.”
Overhead, a flock of white birds with long wings travel across the sky in formation. The leader pivots and the rest follow, nearly changing direction entirely. The rustling of their wings sounds in my ears and vibrates against my chest. I take in a slow breath through my mouth and then let it out through my nose.
Why am I so selfish to believe that my life is any more important than another individual or a group of people? I want to be with Javen. I want to see my dad and friends again. But maybe that isn’t what life is about. Perhaps life is about sacrifice. I dig my fingers into the sand underneath me and rake my fingers through the grains.
Leaning into my apprehension, I dust off my palms and take Zarah’s soft hand. “I want to know more.”
Chapter 10
An electric jolt flows through every inch of my being. Flashes of both my life on Earth and here on Arcadia stream in my mind. My mom is there, Dad, Javen . . . everything I’ve ever experienced—happy and sad, wonderful and terrible—melding into one.
Then the strange memories of others come, too. The Protectors. But they're not truly memories . . . only feelings, concepts, ideas. The memories are like hundreds of galaxies’ worth of stars seeping into me and becoming a part of who I am. Five individuals hover in the corners of my mind, and strangely, I know nothing about them—and everything. Each of them, including my grandfather, passes on a rich legacy to me. One of power and strength but also the desire to use the Starfire for good and to protect the life-giving crystals from falling into the hands of evil.
But I don’t think I’ll be able to sort the experience out for a very long time, if ever. Now I understand Zarah wasn’t holding back the answers to my questions. She probably just couldn’t explain the process either. Words can’t explain this foggy yet clear state of selective omniscience.
Eventually, the intense electrical torrent slows to a thrumming rhythm in my body. I inhale deeply and open my eyes. The lake’s shimmering waters stretch before me. I’m sitting with my legs crossed, hands folded in my lap. I have no clue how I got in this position since I was standing when the experience began. Still, calm envelops me.
From the corner of my vision, I glimpse Zarah. The sun glistens off her dark hair as a tendril blows in the wind. She glances my way and smiles.
Wait. If the transfer worked, then . . .
“Why are we still here?” Sudden panic bleeds through the calm and flutters about in my stomach. What if I get separated from my body the way Zarah did—lost in two places forever?
Despite my obvious tension, Zarah’s demeanor is relaxed, almost fluid. “I’m not sure yet. But the transfer took . . . smoothly. I feel stronger already.”
I study Zarah, and something about her is different: her cheeks are full, and she stands taller. I focus on my own body, and the reality is I feel—lighter. Full of hope. My pulse slows once more, and I unclench my jaw.
“It may not be time for you to leave yet.” Zarah walks toward me across the fine sand.
“But you're coming too, right?”
“I don’t know the answer to that question either.” She offers me her hand. “The Starfire doesn’t reveal all information at once, if ever.”
Before now, I wouldn’t find Zarah’s words comforting, but I know what she means. Everything will turn out as it’s supposed to.
I take her hand and allow Zarah to pull me to my feet. A sudden feeling washes over me. “I won’t be staying in the Intersection. I have other duties to attend to on Arcadia,” I blurt out, relieved.
Zarah grin
s and places her palm over my heart again. She closes her eyelids and slowly reopens them. “See, you now have inside of you what will be needed.”
I feel her words are true, but I have zero clue how to control the power or stream of information. “Do you know the meaning behind what you just said?”
Zarah's lips stretch into a broad smile, and she lets out a chuckle. “No. I believe the Starfire is different for each Protector. You are mostly human, so everything about possessing the power will be different than it was for me or those before us. You say you will not be confined to the Intersection. That is new. The only thing we can do is listen to the truth inside us and see how this plays out.” Her face grows serious. “I do know this, though. Do not reveal you are the Protector to anyone.”
“Why?” I don’t want to keep the secret from Dad forever. I’m hiding enough from him—about who Mom was, who I am. He deserves to know something this important about his daughter.
She appears to think as I hold my breath in anticipation of her answer.
But instead of answering my question, she only says, “It’s time for you to go.”
My heart jumps into high gear again and my hands go clammy. “And you too, right? And why shouldn’t I tell anyone?”
Zarah reaches toward my forehead. “Hopefully, I’ll see you on the other side.” The tips of her fingers press to my skin, and I flinch. A bright cyan light envelops me, and then it's gone.
My eyes open to the meeting with Vihann, Dad, and the others. I absorb the fuller spectrum of color around me. Standing in the doorway, I quickly scan the room, searching for Laina. But she’s nowhere to be seen. The group is still heavily engaged in conversation and acting normally, as if I didn’t just appear out of nowhere. Or maybe they were so engrossed they just didn’t notice. I take a few steps farther into the rustic room and open my mouth to speak.
But instead of my words, a soft, familiar woman’s voice comes from outside. “Hello.”
I snap my mouth shut as Vihann glances up from the table, and his jaw drops open. Zarah stands in the doorway with the sun shining against her back. The illumination makes her look like an angel. It’s silly, but for a split second, that’s precisely what I think she might be.
The Starfire Wars: The Complete Series Page 40