by Amy Lillard
Eugene jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward her and the little black dog. The pooch was on her back in the grass, squirming from side to side as Gracie rubbed her exposed belly. “You better tell her that.”
But Gracie could tell from the look on Matthew’s face that he wasn’t sure if the man was talking about Gracie or Pepper.
* * *
And that was how Gracie found herself in Eugene Dover’s car.
Why did riding in the back seat with Matthew at her side feel more intimate than sitting together in the buggy? Because in the buggy he had driving to worry about. Riding in the car he could give her all his attention. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
Pepper must have been accustomed to riding in a car. Eugene had placed her in the front seat and rolled the window down just enough for her to stick her head out as they rode along. The sight of it made Gracie want to giggle. She was such a sweet dog; Gracie was going to miss her when her owner was found.
Until then, Gracie had convinced Matthew to care for the dog and she would hand out flyers and post a notice on the bulletin board in Leah’s store. It was the only way to keep Pepper safe.
He had argued with her at first, citing that they had too much to do with the wedding preparations, and she admitted that he was right. She was actually going to have Brandon and his not-girlfriend, Shelly, handle making the flyers and posting them. Her cousin’s son had been raised Englisch and lived with Leah and her new husband, Jamie. Now they all attended the Mennonite church, which was very progressive and would allow him to take a picture of the pup. Exactly what they needed to find the owner. And the responsibility would lie with them while she took care of wedding things.
Matthew could get Stephen and Henry to care for the little pooch. They took care of the small chores in the barn. What was one more animal in the mix?
Plus, she thought the boys could use a little good turn in their lives. Sure, she was going to be their mother soon, but they weren’t sure how to feel about that. As far as they knew, she could be a mean person just as easily as she could be a nice person. And if she was mean that would be a terrible turn of events. Their mother had died, their little sister cried constantly. A sweet puppy who wanted to be loved and play fetch would surely take their minds off any troubles they had, real or imagined.
“Turn left here,” Matthew said from beside her. He was so close she could feel the rumble of his voice roll through her. He should have sat in the front so he could see better, but he had climbed into the back, accustomed to always riding behind the driver.
Thankfully it wasn’t very long before they found their way back to familiar ground.
“Do you think Abner or one of your cousins will be home?” Matthew asked.
He hadn’t said anything to her since they had climbed into the car, and the question caught her off guard. She started a bit, then turned to look at him. He seemed even closer than he had before. She should scoot over, toward the door, but the car was small and there wasn’t much room.
“I—uh, probably. One of them is usually there in case a customer comes by.” And it was Saturday, a traditional “off ” day for Englischers. His shop seemed to always be extra busy on those days.
“Good.” Matthew nodded. “They’ll be able to help me get a new wheel and get back to my buggy.”
“Don’t forget your horse,” Eugene called from the front seat.
Gracie wasn’t sure if he was joking or if he really was worried that Matthew would leave his horse there indefinitely. Maybe someone had taken advantage of him before. But Matthew was a man of his word. She knew it. Instinctively. He was that sort of person. If she could see it, she was certain that Eugene could too. Anybody who came into contact with Matthew could see that about him. Strange how you can just look at a person and know something so core and basic about them.
A little of her nervousness over the wedding disappeared. She was marrying “one of the good ones,” Mammi would say. He would provide for his family and care for them until his last breath.
The thought was both comforting and nerve racking. How could she ever be good enough for a man like that?
* * *
Matthew and Gracie never made it to the candy store that day. He took her home, tried to give Eugene some money for the ride, but the man absolutely refused.
“Then for stabling my horse,” Matthew had said.
The man looked at the money then back to Matthew. Maybe he had him this time. But Eugene shook his head. “You leave that horse longer than today and we’ll talk about it. Until then, keep your money. I’m just being neighborly.”
Gracie thanked the man again and they watched him drive away. Not every neighbor was so kind to the Amish and their simple ways. For the most part they were, yet Eugene Dover seemed to be a head above them all.
The boys squealed over the dog and begged to keep her. Matthew tried to explain that it was a temporary situation for both them and the pup. As soon as the owner was found, the dog would be gone, but he had a feeling no one was really paying him much mind.
Gracie stayed there with his children while he went with Jim to get a new wheel for his buggy. By the time he got the wheel all changed out, it was nearly dark.
There was the trip to the wagon supply shop, the ride back out to Eugene Dover’s house, this time in a buggy so it took twice as long. Then he had to get his horse, give him the peppermint that Gracie had insisted he take for him, walk back out to where he left his crippled buggy, then actually switch out the wheels.
And that’s when he realized he never got to ask her again how she knew so much about dolphins.
Chapter Eight
“I have one more thing to talk about today.”
Matthew’s heart kicked up a notch. He was as nervous as a schoolboy and all because of the blond-haired woman sitting across from him. The bishop’s words were not helping.
Actually, Matthew had been nervous all morning. Today was the day. The day the bishop would announce their intent to marry and ask if anyone in the congregation had any objections to the union. No one was going to stand up and say anything, especially not when he arrived with the crying baby who could only be comforted by Gracie’s grandmother. Once she had settled down, Mammi Glick handed her off to Gracie, who had been holding her ever since. There hadn’t been a peep out of her in three hours. Everyone would want the two of them to marry, if only to keep his baby from screaming her head off.
But still he was nervous. Someone could object. Someone could say no, and then where would he be? This whole marriage plan hadn’t been his idea, but it had taken root. He could see all the benefits. He knew what he needed, and he could see the solution. Gracie may have come up with the idea, but it certainly belonged to him now.
“Matthew Byler and Gracie Glick came to me this week and asked if I would grant my permission for them to be married. Now as you may know, Matthew is recently widowed and has young children who need both parents, a mother and a father. Gracie—”
Matthew held his breath. He prayed that the bishop wouldn’t embarrass her. Matthew himself still wasn’t sure exactly what Gracie was getting out of the marriage. A family, yes. But a wagonload of responsibility and three days’ work with two days to do it. She knew that, and she still wanted to marry him. She had met Henry and she still wanted to marry him. He wasn’t under the misguided notion that she was somehow secretly in love with him even before Beth died and had been waiting for a chance to make him her own. He wasn’t that sort of man. His mother always said he was too gruff. And that was when he was eight! Many more years of disappointments and failures had ingrained that nature into him. Now it was as much a part of him as the fact that his eyes were blue. There was no getting around it. And he knew what people said when they thought he couldn’t hear. He didn’t try to dissuade them. What did it matter what anyone thought of him?
But now it wouldn’t be just him. It would be them, and he didn’t want people to look at Gracie with pity in their e
yes. Maybe if he knew for certain why she was marrying him, then he would feel better about it. Or maybe that was something he didn’t want to know.
“So if no one objects, I will announce that Gracie and Matthew will be married this week in a small ceremony there at the Gingeriches’ home. And we welcome this union into our church.”
Matthew had never heard the bishop say anything like that before. They welcomed them? Did he expect that they wouldn’t? Or maybe it was a blessing since it hadn’t been very long since his wife died. But one thing the bishop didn’t know: Beth had been gone from him much longer than three months.
* * *
They made it. They got through the church request and no one said anything, like they shouldn’t get married. Or they were all wrong for each other. Not even a peep about how Matthew had been a widower for barely three months. There was a baby at stake and everyone knew it.
But for a moment there, Gracie had thought Hannah might say something, but then she looked over and gave them a little smile—her and Baby Grace—and Gracie knew they were home free. She also knew that Hannah had her best interests at heart. Maybe seeing her there with the baby made Hannah realize just how much Gracie wanted . . . no, needed a family of her own.
* * *
“Now what happens?” Henry looked around as if he might be overlooking something. “I thought she was going to come home with us and cook.”
Matthew sighed. It had been a long and stressful day. Now he only wanted to get the Sunday chores done, sit down, and prop his feet up. And maybe pray a bit that the baby’s good mood continued. So far she hadn’t cried any more since they handed her over to Mammi Glick, but Matthew wasn’t about to start counting chickens.
“Marriage is about more than someone coming to cook for us,” he gently explained.
“Then what’s it about?”
This was definitely not a conversation he wanted to have right now. “We’ll talk about it when you’re older.”
“Ah, Dat,” Henry grumbled.
“In the meantime, you and your brother can go out and brush down Cotton and make sure he’s settled for the evening. Pepper needs water and food.” He still couldn’t believe he let Gracie talk him into taking care of the dog until her owner was found. They had a wedding to get through. They didn’t have time to search down an errant dog owner.
For a moment Matthew thought Henry might protest, but Stephen shook his head and waved him over to the door. They had promised to look after the pup and Stephen was definitely the one to make sure the other boys kept up their end of the bargain.
“I was still hoping she could come cook,” Henry fussed as he followed Stephen out.
Whew! That was one tough question Matthew managed to get around. And thank the good Lord for that miracle. But he wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to avoid those topics. How was he supposed to tell his son what marriage was all about when he wasn’t sure he even knew himself? And not just the one he was now facing. There had been a time, long ago, when he thought he knew what marriage was about, but he’d been wrong. Since then nothing had taught him any differently. He knew the whole love-and-children speech that everyone recited by heart, but he didn’t know what it all meant. And in four short days he was marrying Gracie Glick. Considering the limitations he wanted to put upon their relationship, he might not ever know. Maybe it just wasn’t in God’s plan for him. Only time would tell.
He heard the rattle of a buggy and got up with a groan to see who was coming down the lane that led to his house. His was the last house on the drive, so when buggies came down this far they were definitely there for him. Cars, on the other hand, were a different story.
A quick peek out the window revealed Aaron Zook, Hannah Gingerich’s fiancé. Aaron had been a good friend to him when he first arrived in Pontotoc. He had welcomed him into the community and made him feel at home. As much as he could, anyway. Not long after they moved, Beth had become pregnant with the baby and everything had changed. Still, Matthew considered him a good friend. They both knew what it was like to lose their spouse and the pain it entailed.
Matthew pulled his suspenders back into place, grabbed his hat from the hook by the door, then walked out onto the front porch. “Hey there, Aaron Zook. What brings you out today?”
Aaron jumped down from his buggy, hobbled his horse, then made his way to the porch. “Just thought I would come for a visit,” he said casually.
A little too casually. They had just been at church together. If he had wanted to talk, they had had plenty of time after the service. Hours even.
“Come on in,” Matthew said, motioning him toward the house. “I would offer you some pie and coffee, but Henry ate the last of the pie this morning before church, and I wouldn’t ask anyone to willingly drink coffee that I’ve brewed.”
Aaron laughed good-naturedly and shook Matthew’s hand when he got to the top of the stairs. “I didn’t expect you to have either.”
Unlike Matthew, Aaron had become an accomplished widowed father. He’d had more practice at it than Matthew had, having been widowed for years. But he’d also had more help. Aaron had family all around them in Pontotoc and they, along with kind souls like Eunice Gingerich, helped to keep him going in his time of need. So much so that he had just now decided to marry again. Or maybe it was simply because Aaron was getting a second chance to marry his first love.
“Come on in and sit down.” Matthew opened the door and followed Aaron into the living room. He was proud of the way the room was kept. It was hard not to be. Beth had of course set up the furniture, where the couch would be and which corner the china hutch would go into, but he had kept it neat as a pin. He had the boys pick it up every evening before bed and dust it once a week. That was a Saturday chore, so it was still pretty clean as they walked into the room.
Matthew gestured toward the couch and sat down in the padded rocking chair across from it.
“Where’d the dog come from?” Aaron said, gesturing toward the general vicinity of the yard.
“Gracie.” Her name was a sigh on his lips and again he wondered how she had so easily convinced him to keep the dog. “We found her yesterday.” Matthew went on to detail how they had come across the pooch and their plans to find the dog’s owner. He didn’t mention that he felt that person would never be found, and he had just adopted himself a dog.
Aaron shook his head with a chuckle.
“What?” Matthew asked.
“As if you didn’t already have enough to do.”
“The boys are taking care of her and I think they like having a dog around.” Was he defending Gracie? When had his focus shifted? Had Aaron noticed?
He looked up to find his friend watching him with searching eyes. Jah. Jah, he had.
“If you didn’t come for pie and coffee . . .” Matthew trailed off expressively. Aaron was there for a reason. “And you didn’t know about the dog until you got here.”
“I wanted to talk to you about your upcoming marriage.”
Matthew tried not to stiffen at the words. Aaron was a friend and was only trying to help. But Matthew had had enough of everyone’s so-called help. “What about it?” The words came out softly and a little more forced than he had planned.
Thankfully, Aaron didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he just wasn’t deterred. “Are you certain of your decision?”
He tried to relax. Perhaps Aaron would be easier on him than his own brother had been. “Why would I not be?”
Aaron scooched back a little into the sofa cushions and leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees. “It seems to have come about awful sudden like.”
“So did Beth’s drowning.” That wasn’t the truth, but Aaron didn’t know all that. No one in Pontotoc, or even his family in Ohio, knew the whole truth behind his wife’s death.
“I know. I know.” Aaron shook his head sadly. “But you shouldn’t rush into anything right now. You’re still grieving, and the children—”
“The chi
ldren need a mother,” Matthew said coldly.
To Aaron’s credit, he didn’t draw back. “They do,” he said. “They all do, but they also deserve a family that’s a unit. Not two people marrying for questionable reasons.” He shook his head. “That didn’t come out right,” he said. “I want you to be happy more than anything in the world. But I’m afraid that you’re about to waste a future chance at happiness by getting married now.” He paused to let that sink in.
“You think Gracie is a waste.”
“No. But what if one day you meet someone else?”
“You think I should wait?” With all the problems he now faced. Impossible.
“You know what?” Aaron stood. “I think I’d better go while you’re still in a forgiving mood. I came here to help and instead I’ve made a mess of things.”
Or maybe his reasons were so unsound that all the words came out wrong. Perhaps that was some sort of sign that what Matthew was doing was the right thing. Aaron almost had him there for a bit, almost had him doubting. Now he wasn’t completely, one hundred percent positive that marrying Gracie was the best plan, but he was definitely doubting it less.
Matthew stood as well, and as if on some sort of timer, the baby started crying. He paused, hesitating between going to pick her up or walking Aaron to the door. There was this part of him—this big, big part of him—that wanted to walk with his friend and thank him for his concern, however misplaced. And another part of him that was even bigger that felt riddled with guilt and remorse. How could he leave her in there to cry? Even if he knew that picking her up, shushing her, changing her diaper, getting her a bottle, or tucking her into his chest and nuzzling the top of her fresh-smelling blond curls was not going to stop her cries. If anything she might even cry harder, howl louder, until he placed her back into her crib and she fell asleep once more. This time from sheer exhaustion.
It didn’t change matters. It was his job to pick her up, care for her, even love her while she sobbed out her unhappiness.
“Are you going . . .” Aaron asked, nodding a bit down the hallway and the baby’s room.