The change was instantaneous. One moment, Ben watched me with pitied conviction, and the next, his expression froze over. The ocean in his eyes frosted to chipped ice. I flinched at the rapid transformation. My Ben was gone, replaced by a terrifying, angry version of himself.
“If you think for one second that I’m afraid of that psychopath, you’re wrong. I hope he comes after me.” His grip on my wrists tightened until my bones squeaked in pain, and I cringed. “I’ll break more than just his nose.”
“Ben, you’re hurting me,” I whispered, and his eyes widened before he released me with a grunted apology.
Pushing me off of him, he scrubbed his face as he took a deep breath and let it out through pursed lips. “I know he’s not my biggest fan, but he hasn’t spoken to me since that night. He doesn’t even look at me when we pass each other in the hallways. He won’t do anything, Silas.”
Guilt rushed over me, and I dropped my eyes to my lap, picking at my nails. I didn’t want to tell him, but for his safety, he had to know. I couldn’t let him make this decision without knowing all the facts. By coming out, he could be putting himself right in the path of Hurricane Eric.
“He threatened you.”
“Months ago,” he scoffed, referring to the day Boyt attacked me in the bathroom.
Shit, he was going to be so pissed if I told him about the forced near-blowjob. Our relationship would end before it even began. Dammit.
“He threatened you the night he cornered me backstage.” The words burned my throat, but I forced them out. I couldn’t keep it a secret, not when it put him in danger. He needed to know Boyt hadn’t forgotten.
“What?” His clipped tone chilled me, and I avoided his gaze like a coward.
“I told you he talked shit. Some of it was about you.” I chanced a glance in his direction and fought the urge to cower into the corner of the couch. Cool fury raged in his eyes, his fists clenched, and his jaw ticked.
“I swear to God, Silas, if you don’t tell me exactly what happened—”
“He said he owed you for breaking his nose. He threatened you, and if he ever hurt you, I would never forgive myself.” I reached for him but he stood, brushing me off. “Ben, I know you think you can take him, but he was high last time, and he never fights fair. They’ll gang up on you.”
“So, what? We hide on the off chance he gets pissed about our relationship?” Towering over me, Ben placed his fists on his hips and glowered. “That’s crazy! He can’t dictate what you do or who you date. You can’t give him that kind of power.”
I stood then, knocking his shoulder to force him back as my own defensive wrath sparked. “I’m not giving him anything! Any power he has was taken from me when he—” I choked on the words, unable to say it, and suddenly, Ben was there. His arms surrounded me as my face pressed to the crook of his neck.
“I won’t let him hurt you,” he husked against my ear, kissing beneath it. “I won’t ever let him touch you again.”
For a moment, I allowed the helplessness to swallow me. Ben didn’t let me go. He didn’t let me fall. He held me up as I buried my fear, forcing it down until I could breathe again. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
With a hopeless shrug, I hid my face in his shoulder, mumbling against his shirt. “I didn’t want to worry you. I just wanted to protect you the only way I knew how.”
“Listen to me.” He grasped my face firmly and angled it to meet his intense gaze. “Lying to me does not protect me. I know this is hard. I’m not the best model of openness, but”—our foreheads met—“I’m trying. We need to be honest.”
Honesty. I wasn’t very good at that. Even now, I didn’t tell him about Boyt forcing me to my knees. I couldn’t. Not only was it humiliating, but it wouldn’t help anything. He would feel guilty, and I’d rather die than admit how close I came to having Eric Boyt’s vile cock in my mouth.
“Silas,” he uttered my name like a prayer before hesitantly pressing his lips to mine. “I’m not saying you need to share everything you’re thinking, but if something bothers you, you can tell me. If Thompson’s talking shit, tell me. If you have a nightmare—and I know you still have them—then call me. If Boyt even looks at you funny, then let me help. Let me be here for you. Let me take care of you.”
Slipping my arms around his neck, I rubbed our noses together as my heart writhed under the weight of his affection. It wasn’t easy when I was used to surviving alone. I didn’t need him to take care of me. I just needed him to stay, to stand by me in the face of my demons.
“How about we take care of each other.”
With an exasperated sigh, he nodded. “Okay. It’s a start.”
I laughed humorlessly as I drew him down to kiss me, and he responded immediately. He crushed me to him, his tongue barreling past my lips and plundering my mouth. I tasted his aggression and anger, his frustration and desperation, and I submitted. I allowed him the control in this moment. Moaning into my mouth, he kissed me hard, branding himself to me, and I arched with a gasp as his hands slid under my shirt.
“Silas.”
Hands lowered to my ass then farther, cupping my thighs and hoisting me into the air. With a yelp of surprise, I circled his waist with my legs and clung to his shoulders to keep my balance. Above him now, I smiled and tangled my fingers in his hair, kissing him violently.
It was all tongues and teeth, and then we were moving. My back met a mattress, and I tightened my limbs to keep him on top of me, desperate for connection, for whatever he was willing to give me.
At some point, I finagled his shirt above his head, and my greedy fingers devoured his bare skin. I mapped every dip and valley of muscle as I sucked on the hollow of his throat, and he shook above me.
“Wait, wait.” His breath puffed against my shoulder, and I kissed the nape of his neck in reassurance as I stilled my wandering hands.
Massaging his firm back on either side of his spine, I nuzzled his neck. “Sorry.”
He didn’t answer.
Catching his breath, he rolled off me, taking me with him until we faced each other. Our lungs fell into sync, and we breathed as one as we lay tangled in one another, eyes locked. The silence was expectant, his stare boring into mine until I swore he could see into my soul, but neither of us spoke.
Words weren’t needed, not now. We basked in the stillness, saying everything we needed to say without uttering a single syllable. And I ignored my deception, locking the ugly truth in the recesses of my brain.
Ben was wrong. Some things were better left in the dark.
Seven
My phone buzzed in my cup holder as I pulled Mabel into the school parking lot the next morning. I grinned like an idiot when Ben’s name flashed across my screen. Once I safely parked a few cars down from Ben’s Impala, I opened my phone to his text.
Ben: So, boyfriend, are we meeting early to make out before school?
Chuckling, I shot him a reply before exiting my truck and locking it.
Silas: If you wanted to make out before school, you should have texted me sooner. I’m lucky if I make it to my locker before the bell rings.
As I traversed the icy sidewalk, I watched my phone in hopes of a reply. He didn’t disappoint.
Ben: We can make time. I’m in C hall by the pool. Where are you?
Silas: On my way.
I garnered a few strange looks from my peers when I couldn’t hide my shit-eating grin, but I ignored the attention as I passed the gym and then the pool room.
Shouldering my backpack, I tucked my phone into my pocket and quickened my walk.
A group stood near the lockers where the gym corridor met C hall, and my smile widened when blue eyes met mine. Like he’d been waiting for me, Ben straightened from his slouched position on the wall of lockers and shoved his phone into his pocket.
Nerves exploded in my stomach as I approached the group, unsure exactly how to act, but Ben erased my doubt as he motioned me c
loser. The moment I stood within reach, the other bodies shuffling to make room, he snagged my sleeve.
“Hey,” he greeted as he pulled me to stand right next to him. “You’re almost late.”
“What can I say? The snooze button and I are, like, BFFs.” I gave my tone a feminine lilt at the end, and Ben laughed.
“Is that why you look like a hobo?” Ronnie, the only person from the group I knew, asked as he ruffled his short, dirty-blond hair. “Oh, wait, you always look like a hobo. My bad.”
I flipped him the bird. “Fuck you, four eyes. I work hard for this hobo look, thank you very much.”
A few awkward chuckles sounded from the rest of the group, and I tightened my grip on my backpack straps as Ben jumped into introductions. “Everybody, this is Silas. Si, that’s Julian and his girlfriend, Iris.” He pointed to the bronze-skinned guy I recognized from the swim meet and the tall, raven-haired girl beside him.
“The other diver, right?” I asked, and Julian nodded.
“I swim, too, but I can’t let Ben get all the diving glory.” He grinned good-naturedly, and Iris murmured something in Spanish as she kissed his cheek.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ben dismissed as he moved on. “David, Troy, and Malcolm and the twins, Hollie and Brent. And you know Ronnie.”
I waved with a closed-lip smile. “Hi.” Uncomfortable under their scrutiny, I turned to Ben. “I gotta hit up my locker. See you at lunch?”
“I’ll walk with you.” He bent to snatch his rucksack from the floor.
I shook my head. “No, it’s cool. You don’t have to.”
With a droll stare, he pushed a noisy breath through his nose. “How about I want to.”
“Okay,” I agreed readily, a genuine smile spreading my lips, and he beamed at me.
“Argh, get a room.” Ronnie coughed the words, holding his hands in mock apology as he cleared his throat. “Excuse me, I think I’m coming down with something.”
Ben’s cheeks pinked, and I pushed his shoulder to get him moving as I cooed at Ronnie with feigned concern. “Oh, too bad. I heard the Dumbass virus is chronic with no cure. Bummer.”
Humor twinkled in Ronnie’s light blue eyes as the group erupted in laughter at his expense. I smirked when he put his hand on his heart and grimaced. “If only Ezzy was here. She’d defend me.”
“Except she would totally side with me, ’cause she loves me.” Ben dragged me after him as we left the group behind us, and when Ronnie flashed me his middle finger, I blew him a kiss.
“And here I thought you wouldn’t make a scene,” Ben teased, and I nudged him.
“Whatever. Ronnie started it.”
I kept a hold of my backpack straps, and Ben buried his hands in his pockets as we made our way to my locker. Our elbows knocked at even intervals, and my heart pitter-pattered pathetically in my chest. He could turn me inside-out with a glance, and I didn’t entirely loathe the feeling.
“Sleep okay?” he asked as we passed the cafeteria, and I side-stepped to avoid a collision with a giggling freshman.
“Yeah, pretty good. You?”
He shifted closer to me as the hallway grew congested, dropping his volume. “Yeah, but I liked our nap better.”
Yesterday, we’d fallen asleep on his bed, tangled together. It had been the best nap I ever had, and my neck heated at the mushy thought. “Oh? Why’s that?”
“Because you were there with me, of course.” His rosy cheeks betrayed his confident delivery.
Spinning, I walked backward as I drawled. “Aw, you missed me, Adams?”
“Always,” he admitted with eyes downcast, and I was torn between kissing his face off and laughing at him.
Instead, I rolled my eyes and chose teasing to distract him from my pleased blush. “Sorry, I just threw up a bit in my mouth from all the sappy shit in the air.”
Laughing loudly, he shoved my chest, and I lost my balance, tumbling onto my ass. “Ow, you prick.” I rolled over and clambered to my feet as he skipped ahead of me.
“Oops. Sorry,” he threw over his shoulder as I ran to catch up. He wasn’t sorry.
After stopping by my locker, Ben walked me to my first class, the back of his hand grazing mine. The seven-minute bell rang, and his index finger curled around my pinkie, squeezing gently.
“I’ll see you at lunch.” He hesitated, searching my gaze then focusing on my mouth.
Before I could second guess and chicken out, I popped up on my toes and pecked his mouth quickly. “See you at lunch.”
Without waiting for a reaction from him or the other students around us, I scurried into my class and plopped into a desk at the very back. I ignored everyone around me as my face heated to surface-of-the-sun levels. Hopefully, no one noticed our kiss, but I doubted it.
By lunchtime, everyone would know.
Sure enough, eyes followed me the moment I entered the lunchroom, but I studiously held my head high as I joined Ben at the end of the lunch line. He smiled and tentatively twined our fingers, our hands hidden between our bodies as we shuffled along the queue like sheep. We filled our trays with food as we made small talk, pointedly ignoring any stares. It didn’t matter what they thought or what they said.
I wouldn’t let it matter.
We crossed the lunchroom, heading toward our usual table where Ronnie was lowering himself into a seat beside Caroline. As expected, we didn’t make it before a round of raucous catcalls brayed from a group of athletes. The moment they whistled and jeered, heads turned our way, and Ben’s steps faltered.
“Finally found yourself a boy toy, huh, Brigs?” Jake Thompson sneered as his friends laughed like idiots around him. Crimson splotched Ben’s cheeks and neck as his fingers tightened on his lunch tray. “Which one of you is gonna run for homecoming queen?”
With a sardonic smile, I flipped him off before whispering to Ben. “I’m sorry. Just ignore them.”
Unfortunately, Ben wasn’t like me. He didn’t hide from confrontation, and it showed as he squared his shoulders, a tick twitching his jaw. Unblinking, he stared straight at Jake Thompson with a confidence I envied.
He didn’t say a word, simply locked his gaze with Jake’s until the bastard’s grin wavered. Without uttering a single syllable, he managed to quiet Thompson and his lackeys.
Now that was talent.
Of course, the moment he turned and spotted Alice charging our way, his cockiness evaporated into horror.
“Oh, shit,” he squeaked, meeting my eyes in panic.
I snorted in humor. “Pussy.”
Rubbernecking as if in search of an escape, he grunted in irritation before something naughty gleamed in his eyes.
“Hold this.” He shoved his tray at me, and I automatically obeyed to save both of our lunches from tumbling to the floor.
“Ben, what—” But I never finished.
With a chuckle, he framed my face with his hands and kissed me square on the mouth.
In the middle of the cafeteria.
In front of everyone.
If I didn’t have trays full of nachos and french fries in my hands, I would have thrown myself into his arms. As it was, I could only stand and let him kiss me.
And kiss me, he did.
It wasn’t lewd, but it was claiming. He was making his statement, taking a stance. My stomach somersaulted as he slid our lips together. Spearmint tainted his lips and exploded over my tongue as I teased the seam of his mouth, unable to stop the instinctual action.
Pulling away, he smiled widely, and his eyes crinkled at the edges. “Sorry. It was either this or I punched Thompson’s lights out.”
“Either is satisfactory,” I said, breathless. “Plus, now Alice will probably stop stalking you.”
As he took back his tray with a chortle, I chanced an investigatory glance around and grimaced. Everyone gaped at us, gawking at the rare animals in the zoo, and my skin itched. I glared at a few individuals who brandished cell phones, and some of them lowered their eyes in chagrin. Great, now we’d be
featured on some softcore porn site.
But I couldn’t be mad. Ben kissed me without regret or shame. He wasn’t embarrassed so how could I be? Especially when Jake Thompson fell out of his chair in shock at the display, and Alice watched in crestfallen horror.
Okay, it was worth it to see their reactions.
“What?” Ben bit out, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the crowd. “Never seen two guys kiss before?”
And with that, he nudged my shoulder and stalked to our table. I scrambled to catch him. Eyes trailed us, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as we arrived at our table. Peeking at the throng, I swallowed thickly when I met dark eyes with a murderous fire roaring in their depths.
Pretending I hadn’t seen Boyt, I focused on setting my tray on the table as my friends sat in stunned silence. Ben scooted his chair under the table and greeted Ronnie like nothing was out of the ordinary. After another awkward half-minute, Harris cleared his throat and asked Kim about her weekend.
The cafeteria came back to life, conversations buzzing through the atmosphere, and I cautiously met Kim’s gaze. I’d never seen her smile so big, and my ears revolted as she squealed like a maniac.
“Finally!”
Caroline and Kim screeched and high-fived, clapping like groupies as Jordan wiggled his hand in front of Harris’s face. “Called it. Pay up!”
Harris handed over a twenty remorsefully, and I groaned as I hid my face in my hands. “Guys, seriously?”
“Oh, shut up and let us celebrate!” Kim hissed.
I stuck my tongue out as I settled into my seat. “Celebrate? Why?”
Kim giggled. “Because it’s every yaoi lover’s dream.”
I gagged as Ben sputtered, choking on a sip of his sports drink. Jordan whined as he dodged the spray, and laughter broke out over the group.
Ben and I shared a secret look, blushing in embarrassment, and I mouthed a silent apology.
In response, he shrugged and ran the tip of his finger over my cheek, circling the metal piercing in front of my ear. And then he dove for my plate and stole one of my nachos, crunching on the chip happily.
Every Hidden Truth (Far From Ruined Book 2) Page 7