He frowned and slowly sat back down. He shifted in his seat. It was clear he wasn’t sure how to start the conversation. “I'm not so good at this Piper, so I'm just going to get right to the point. What the hell happened?”
Piper snorted. Yeah, she was definitely related to Derek. The thought sobered her a little. She sighed. “Derek, Selma and I are in a romantic relationship.”
His expression froze and Piper had to stifle another sigh. She’d really wanted to be pleasantly surprised. Maybe it stung a little, to have the people who’d claimed to love her so much that they’d kept looking for twenty years, reject something so wonderful and important. She closed her eyes briefly and thought of how Selma had looked that morning, curled up on her side with her head tucked against Piper’s shoulder. It gave her strength as Derek opened his mouth.
“Piper,” he said with a serious expression, “I think maybe you and Selma are confu—”
Piper’s phone began to go off, the tune Shelly had picked out for herself distinct. With a frown, Piper held up a hand and began to dig in her pocket. Shelly should have been at work.
“Shelly?” she asked as soon as the call had connected.
“Piper, you need to come home. Dot had a heart attack.”
The blood drained from Piper’s face. Shelly sounded like she had been crying. “Is she—?”
“They’re working on her. They said something about giving her a drug to help with blood flow. Piper, I need you here.”
Piper pushed up from her seat without hesitation, not caring about anything else but getting home. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
The call ended and it was like Piper was frozen to the spot. Heart attack?
Sure, Dottie wasn't the healthiest eater, but she was really active. Piper didn’t know what to do with Dot in the hospital. Shelly hadn’t sounded so great on the phone, either.
"Piper, what’s wrong?" Derek looked concerned, his blue eyes trained on her face as if she’d never come out to him.
“Dot had a heart attack,” she heard herself say as if from far away.
Derek immediately stood and moved around to her side of the booth—but Piper stopped him with a raised hand. She didn’t want his support, not when she knew he’d been about to condemn her relationship with Selma. He hadn’t gotten to finish his thoughts, but she’d heard enough. “Don’t. This doesn’t change anything. I saw your face, Derek.”
Her world righted itself as she took in his shocked expression. “This thing you and Karen have been doing, getting to know me? I was going along with it for Selma. She goes above and beyond for you two. She’s one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met. That didn’t change because she’s bi, or because she’s dating me.” Even though she hadn’t ordered anything, she took her wallet out and left a ten on the table. “I’ll never see the two of you as parents, and if you’re not careful you’ll lose Selma. Now, if you’ll excuse me. My mom is in the hospital.”
Piper walked out of the coffee shop with her head high. She didn’t look back.
Chapter 12
The sushi was mostly consumed in silence. Delicious as it was, Selma had trouble getting most of it down. It seemed a waste for such quality—but it couldn’t be helped.
“Selma,” Irene tried as she put her chopsticks down, “I know this is difficult.”
Selma clenched her teeth and mentally counted to ten. “Difficult?” She carefully set down her own chopsticks. “How about impossible?”
Next to her, Laura sighed. She ignored her sister, unable to look away from the repentant expression on Irene’s face.
“Maybe it does feel that way,” Irene conceded with a nod as she clasped her hands, “and I understand why. Your feelings are a valid response to how you were treated.”
“A valid response?” Selma hissed out. “Oh, so, what, you’ve been seeing a therapist or something now? Now?”
Irene held her gaze. “Yes.”
Selma had to forcibly swallow around the lump that formed in her throat. She couldn’t stand it, how calm her mother was. She was furious. Just for once she wanted to let herself be, the way she hadn’t allowed herself to be with Karen, and the way she couldn’t be in court. She did the only thing she knew used to always get under her mother’s skin.
“¿Entonces crees que puedo olvidarlo todo?” The surprise on her mother’s face was almost satisfying. She’d rarely ever dared to speak Spanish in her mother’s presence. “¿Todas las veces que me hiciste sentir sin inferior?”
“No, I don’t think you can forget everything. I’m sorry I ever made you feel worthless.” Irene’s amber eyes were pleading. “Truly, I am.”
Selma’s eyes began to sting. That hadn’t been the response she’d been hoping for. Speaking Spanish had always made her mother so angry; Irene had never liked the reminder of where they’d come from, that Selma’s abuela had worked two or three jobs for most of her life, all to give Irene a better one. Selma’s anger was renewed.
“¿Has olvidado qué tan rápido abandonaste a Laura?” she finally gritted out. “¿Y a mi?”
Laura reached a hand out and tightly gripped Selma’s. Though she had forgiven their mother, it was obvious the way both she and Selma had been abandoned still hit a nerve.
Irene’s face blanched. Her lips trembled as she let out a shaky breath. “Por supuesto que no. ¿Cómo podría? Les he fallado a las dos. Lo siento más de lo que nunca sabrás.”
All the fight drained from Selma. For years all she’d wanted to hear was her mother’s apologies, for her to admit that she’d failed her children. Now, having finally heard it, Selma felt empty.
When it was apparent she wouldn’t speak, Laura squeezed her hand.
Laura straightened and cleared her throat. “Gracias por decir eso, Mum,” she said with her best pronunciation. It was far from perfect, but it made Selma squeeze her hand back.
“You speak Spanish?” Irene whispered as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.
“Yes. I taught her,” Selma admitted quietly.
Irene covered her face with both hands.
Selma studied them. The joints seemed thicker than she remembered. “You have Grandma’s hands.”
Something happened then that Selma hadn’t anticipated. Irene’s hands fell to the table, allowing the sorrow-filled smile she was wearing to become visible.
And Selma could suddenly remember the day Abuela died, and how very long and hard her mother had cried. In the midst of all the chaos of death, Selma had gone to her and they’d clung to one another for hours. When the sun had risen, her mother had looked at her just like that and kissed her forehead. For that one day, their differences had been forgotten.
“Mother,” she began, but whatever she’d been about to say was interrupted by her phone ringing. Recognizing Piper’s ringtone and knowing where she’d been, Selma sent Laura an apologetic look and answered. “Piper?”
“Selma. Look, I don’t want to stay on the phone too long. I’m driving back home.”
Selma blinked in surprise. “What, why?”
There was a significant pause. “Dottie had a heart attack. I know this is sudden, but I needed to get home as soon as possible.”
“No, I, of course.” Selma brought a hand to her chest, wishing it could physically slow her heartbeat. “Do you know anything?”
“Shelly called me a few minutes ago and said they were waiting to see how Dot responds to some drug. Shelly was scared.” The ‘so am I’ was left unspoken but still understood.
Selma breathed in slowly. “I’ll join you as soon as I can.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Piper,” she gently chided, “let me help you.”
Piper’s exhale was audible. “I don’t think I’ll be much company but it might be good for Mark.”
“Okay. We’ll talk more later. Drive safely.”
“I will.” Without another word, Piper ended the call.
Selma tugged a hand through her hair and deposited h
er phone on the table. It seemed as if everything was going bad at once.
“What’s wrong?” Laura asked with a frown.
Well, maybe not everything, Selma conceded. She spared her sister a look. “Piper’s foster mom had a heart attack. She’s headed back home. I need to make arrangements with Emily so I can go, too.” She picked up her phone again to pull up Emily’s number.
“I’m sure your girlfriend will appreciate that.” Irene’s face had been wiped clean but she still looked vulnerable.
Selma paused, her finger hovering over the ‘call’ button. Her tongue felt thick in her mouth. She rolled it around and then looked up. “I haven’t forgiven you, Mother.” She kept her gaze steady when amber eyes met hers. “But I’m going to try.”
Before she could say or do anything more, Laura engulfed her in a hug.
“I’m proud of you, little sister,” Laura whispered. She let go and then brushed a thumb over Selma’s cheek. “Now go do whatever you need to do.”
“We’ll take care of the bill,” Irene added. Some of her confidence seemed restored.
Selma nodded at them both and pushed up from her seat with one hand as the other initiated a call. “Emily? Hello. I was wondering if you were busy for the next couple of days…”
*****
The hospital waiting room was nearly empty by the time Piper arrived, its lone occupants a visibly worried Shelly and a dazed-looking Mark. She wondered if the room’s drab colors, devoid of any real vibrancy, were supposed to help. The walls were somewhere between beige and peach, the resulting color somewhat disappointing on both fronts. The chairs, while not wholly uncomfortable, were an unappealing grey-green that did anything but help her relax.
She puffed out a breath and shifted in her seat. Whatever drug the doctors had tried giving Dottie hadn’t quite done the job, so they’d finally decided that an angioplasty was Dorothy's best bet.
Already exhausted, it felt like the last bit of her energy had evaporated. The frantic drive and exchange of calls back and forth with Shelly had been stressful. If only she hadn’t been three hours away, then they would have been together sooner to lean on one another.
She rubbed her face with both hands. At least Mark’s homeroom teacher had been kind enough to drop him off. It helped that Miss Houston frequented the diner on a regular basis.
“Do you really think she’s going to be okay?” Mark asked. He was perched up on the edge of his chair, his arms wrapped around his backpack.
Shelly, who’d been Googling whatever she could on her phone, looked up. “Angioplasties have really high success rates, and since it doesn’t require an incision, is considered one of the safer options.”
“That’s a yes, kid,” Piper clarified. She and Shelly had debated his presence over the phone but, in the end, knew he wouldn’t have been able to rest while Dot’s condition was still uncertain.
The fear in his face was replaced with a tentative hope. Piper mussed his hair and squeezed him in for a one-armed hug.
They held a low conversation for a while on random topics about Mark and Shelly, and before Piper knew it, Selma was striding into the waiting room.
“Piper,” Selma murmured as soon as she crossed the threshold. The look on her face made Piper’s throat feel like it might close up.
Piper cleared it in an attempt to rid herself of the feeling. As scared as she was and had been, she didn’t want to cry in front of Mark.
Selma made a beeline toward her—only be intercepted by an energetic Mark. That didn’t stop Selma, who simply leaned down to pull Mark into a hug. She whispered something in his ear that Piper couldn’t hear, but Mark nodded against her chest and held on.
“Dottie is a strong woman,” she heard Selma say as Mark was squeezed a final time and released.
“Selma’s right,” Shelly helpfully added from her seat. She and Selma shared a smile and a wave.
Before proceeding on to Piper, Selma smoothed a hand over Mark’s hair. “I came as quickly as I could,” she said as she reached moved. Her face was wrinkled with worry as Piper stood. She wrapped her arms around Piper’s shoulders.
Piper forced herself to relax into the hug. She was feeling odd but couldn’t quite understand why. “You came,” was all Piper could think to say. Selma had arrived scarcely an hour later than herself, a true feat considering Selma nearly been on the opposite side of the city.
“Emily is here to watch Ben, and maybe Mark too if necessary. I got her a room at the bed and breakfast.” Selma’s dark eyes were so soft and inviting that Piper had difficulty looking away. Selma cupped her cheek. “You’re being so quiet.”
“Yeah, I just,” Piper cleared her throat again and shifted her weight from foot to foot. She glanced at her siblings and then nodded towards the hall. “Why don’t we talk in private a minute?”
Selma nodded. “Of course.”
As soon as they were out of sight of the waiting room, Piper sank into Selma’s second hug. “Mm,” she hummed as she buried her nose against the soft skin of Selma’s neck and closed her eyes. Vanilla and spice. She squeezed Selma tighter.
She felt Selma’s chest expand with a sigh.
“I was worried about you,” Selma whispered.
Piper opened her eyes and pulled back. It was written all over Selma’s features: the crease between her eyebrows, the subtle narrowing of her eyes, and the soft part between her full pink lips. All spoke to Selma’s care and concern, and Piper was reminded of the thing Selma had let slip earlier.
Love.
As much as she craved, wanted, even needed it, Piper felt herself putting some emotional distance between. Now wasn’t the time, especially not with Shelly and Mark only around the corner. It felt as if she let that extra warmth in at that moment, it would create a hole that would grow into a gaping maw until all the feelings Piper was trying to escape from would overflow and drown her in their intensity.
“Thanks for coming,” she said stiffly as she let her arms drop and she pulled herself to just out of arm’s reach. “And I think it’ll be great for Mark to have Ben around some, keep him occupied.” She paused and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Maybe you should get a room at the bed and breakfast too, I doubt me or Shelly are gonna make it home before Dot’s released.
Selma frowned. She raised a hand as if to stretch it out to Piper, only to pull it back and cross it over her abdomen. “If you think that’s best. Mark can stay with me and Ben tonight.”
“Right, yes, that’s perfect.” Piper nodded her head to an almost comical degree but, if anything, she’d never felt less like laughing. “But I did promise the kid he could stay until the angioplasty is finished since it’s normally a short process.”
“That seems reasonable. Mark might worry himself sick otherwise.” Selma bit her lip, her eyes darting away from Piper. “Perhaps I’ll go secure a room now before it’s fully booked. There were only two rooms left when I checked Emily in.” She made as if to say something else, almost appearing to swallow it down as she held a hand up to her lips. “But I’ll be back in a bit, alright?”
Piper’s instinct was to tell her that wasn’t necessary. The Tates were a tough bunch… but she found herself unable to do that either. “Alright,” she said instead.
Selma scrutinized her briefly before leaning in to brush a tender kiss to her cheek. Without another word, she turned on her heel and made for the exit.
Lump mysteriously back in her throat, Piper watched her go.
*****
Once back at the bed and breakfast and in her room, Selma was unsure what to do. She hadn’t expected such mixed signals from Piper. She rationalized that Dot’s heart attack had made Piper more afraid than she wanted to admit in front of her siblings. Still, Selma hadn’t expected to be more warmly welcomed by Mark than Piper.
She tried her best not to think of something that had been on her mind more than she wanted to admit. Karen’s voicemail had been unanticipated but not completely wrong.
She's twenty-two, Selma. You think she knows what she wants? She could still perfectly recall the inflection in Karen’s voice.
The faucet in the bathroom was dripping, the slow and steady drip-drip seeping into her consciousness. She pressed her hands against the mattress and pushed up, absently heading for the faucet. A little twist confirmed that someone had simply failed to completely turn it off.
She stared at the shining chrome. Her sudden doubts didn’t make much sense. She’d been fine so far—well, maybe that wasn’t exactly right, either. Around Piper she was fine. It’s when she was alone or the last one awake that all the reasons she hadn’t wanted to start a relationship with Piper came rushing back. And yes, maybe, a lot of times those doubts were recited in Karen’s voice.
Lost & Found Page 17