by Megan Ryder
He leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs and took several more deep breaths. She laid a hand on his back, tentatively at first, then slowly rubbing it as if soothing him. But still she said nothing, just waited. And that had to be killing her. Brigid was never patient and always faced things head on.
Finally, he straightened. “I saw my mother.”
Her hand paused. “Your mother.”
He nodded. “Yup.”
She resumed her stroking. “I’m going to need a little bit more, Grady.”
He slapped his hands on his thighs and stood. “I haven’t seen her since I was eight or so. That’s it. Nothing more to tell.”
Brigid stood and grabbed his arm, hauling him around to face her. “Hang on a minute. Nothing more to tell? You haven’t seen her in over twenty years and you’re going to say that’s it?”
“Hey, you knew Matthew and I grew up apart. It’s no big deal. Children of divorce are all sorts of fucked up. Besides, we’re not dating so we don’t need the chitchat, right? Let’s go back in.” He cocked his eyebrow at her and tilted his head to the door. “You don’t want to miss out on all the brown-nosing, do you? I’ll bet I can get at least three more business contracts out of tonight.”
He walked towards the door and that seemed to knock her out of her paralysis because she raced after him. “Don’t you dare, Grady. You promised not to take any work from my colleagues.”
He whirled around so fast she ran into him. “Would it be such a big deal if I got some work tonight? Maybe if I expanded my business that would make everyone think a little better of the home contractor. Maybe I’d be good enough for them. Good enough for you.”
“Grady, I never thought you weren’t good enough. It’s just this isn’t your kind of crowd. They’re a bit pretentious and challenging. I didn’t think you’d be comfortable here. Believe me, I’m not comfortable either.”
“So why do you stay? There are plenty of firms where you could be a lawyer.”
“This is the best one in Texas, in the southwest really. Why should I give up my dreams to go somewhere else?”
He laughed, the sound rough and raw even to his ears. “Yeah, the almighty dream. Brigid, ask yourself whose dream is it – yours or your father’s?”
He opened the door and stalked inside without waiting for a reply. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Hell, he wasn’t sure she even knew and now was not the time for that discussion. But the time was coming soon when they had to talk about who they were and where they were going. Only, he was afraid what her answer would be.
Before stepping inside, he scanned the room, looking for a woman. Brigid didn’t need to worry about him getting too involved in her world. He’d already had one woman abandon him for this world. He wouldn’t let another one do it too.
Chapter Three
Brigid stood at the tall table, her hand clutching the empty glass like a life preserver in the sea of hostile lawyers. After she and Grady had come back inside, they had stayed together for a while, then they had been split by conversation and she had lost track of him. She still wondered what the hell he’d meant about his mother. She had known the relationship between him and Matthew had been odd but she was never one to pry into it. Now, she wished she had. But he had shut her down quickly, throwing her own words back at her, about them not being in a relationship. At least he didn’t say they were just fucking.
Damn. She had bigger issues to deal with, like her own career and her own life. Too many questions thanks to Barracuda Betty. She was barely into her third year at the firm. She had plenty of time to think about her personal life. But it was becoming more and more obvious that her entire life and choices were being scrutinized as part of her career path. Her plan needed to be revised. Immediately.
“So, you and Grady are getting serious. I knew it!” Caroline’s ecstatic voice interrupted Brigid’s reverie.
“What? No, absolutely not.” Brigid whirled around and leaned into Caroline, poking a finger at her chest. “Don’t be getting any ideas, Caroline. He was just convenient. Nothing more. Besides, he should be here for his brother.”
Caroline smirked. “Matthew could have invited his family any time he wanted. In fact, his mother and stepfather are talking with my parents right now. Grady didn’t need your invitation.”
“Still, I needed a date.” Brigid grumbled, still off balance by her previous conversation.
“Well, I think you two make a cute couple. You need him, at least someone like him. You’re too serious, Brigid. You need to relax instead of working all the time. You’re going to have an ulcer one of these days, the way you’ve been going.”
Brigid pressed a fist to quell the burning in her stomach, hiding it behind her empty glass of scotch. Check that off her list.
Grady and Matthew chose that moment to join them, although, judging by the grim look in Grady’s eyes, he might have overhead some of their conversation already. She snuck another glance at him. Yup, he was pissed all right. Damn. She didn’t have time to walk him through this now. She had partners to impress.
She lifted her glass to Matthew. “Congratulations, partner. You deserve this.”
He grinned and clinked her glass. “Someday it’ll be you. Peterman likes your work. And now Elizabeth Wardwell has taken an interest in you? I don’t know whether to congratulate you or pity you. Hey, your glass is empty.”
Grady smoothly slid the glass out of her hand. “I’ve got this. Anyone else?”
“Thanks, Grady.”
They watched him weave his way to the bar, then Matthew cleared his throat. “So, you and Grady?”
Caroline punched him in the stomach. “We’ve already covered this. They’re friends.” She put up air quotes around the word friends.
“Good.” Matthew nodded and scanned the room, as if the topic was closed.
“What?” Caroline’s voice rose an octave. “How can you say that?”
Matthew shrugged. “This is a rough business. Grady wants a wife, a family, white picket fence. The whole package. That’s not Brigid. It’s better if they don’t get involved. This way, no one gets hurt.”
Caroline and Brigid both stared at Matthew, jaws slightly opened. Caroline was the first to recover. “And I don’t want all of that?”
“It’s different. You can have it because I’m the lawyer. Brigid however is the workaholic lawyer, leaving Grady at home. He doesn’t get that kind of life. He’s happy the way he is. And I doubt he’s the kind of man Brigid wants. Am I right?”
Grady cleared his throat next to them and all three swung around, staring guiltily at him. “Grady, I…”
“No problem. I’m a contractor, a builder. And I’m happy with who I am, that’s true. Brigid and I are just friends. I’m just helping her out, right?”
He handed her the glass of scotch and only she saw the tightened jaw, the hard, cold glint in his blue eyes. Damn. They were in too deep.
*
It was close to ten that night when Brigid let herself in her apartment and tossed her purse and keys on the table by the door. Flicking on the light, she sighed. Her apartment was spotless as always, no clutter hanging around, except for a few law books on the coffee table where she had been researching late into the night. It wasn’t that she was a neat freak; it was just that she was rarely home long enough to make a mess. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her of that long-forgotten salad and the missed appetizers while she was interrogated by Barracuda Betty.
After that conversation, and what she saw in the other woman’s eyes, Brigid wasn’t sure she could call her that anymore. Elizabeth raised serious questions, ones Brigid never really thought about in her zeal for her goal. She had a plan, one developed years prior, and she was so close. She had always known her future. Her father had been very clear from the time she was a child what his expectations had been for her, for all of his children. They had all achieved their goals early, except for Brigid. She was on pace for her goals, but that wasn’t good
enough for her father as he often reminded her in their weekly conversations about her career choices. Up for a promotion, putting her on the track for partner at one of the top law firms in Houston. She should have been happy, at the least content. But Elizabeth Wardwell gave her a glimpse of her future. Everyone knew Elizabeth was a ball buster, one of the top divorce attorneys in the state.
And she was alone.
Elizabeth Wardwell never brought a date to firm events. She was never linked to any man. Or woman for that matter. She always seemed confident, unapproachable, and aloof. Yet tonight, Brigid saw something in her eyes that she wondered if she would feel if she followed the same path.
Regret.
She walked to the kitchen, trying to avoid the questions her evening had raised. She looked at the list on the refrigerator door. Her father always said make a list of your goals and how you plan to achieve them, then post them somewhere you see them every day. That list kept her focused on her goals and was a daily reminder of why she worked so hard.
She really needed to add something about her perfect man. Maybe she needed to add the criteria from her new mentor at the firm.
Someone who could provide her with connections and status to bring business to the firm and business contacts and prestige. Someone who was not a home contractor, no matter if he owned his business, building it up from the ground to become one of the premier historical preservationist contractors in midtown and living comfortably. Someone who could be the best partner on paper, never mind if he supported her emotionally and provided what she needed at a vulnerable time in her life. No, Grady didn’t go to the right college, move in the right circles. He drank beer not scotch. He had a small house in midtown not in River Oaks. He enjoyed playing football not watching it in a box. He was not the circle they wanted her to cultivate and had no intention of being in those circles.
Being with Grady could jeopardize her whole future at the firm, could prevent her from achieving her goals that she had been working toward her whole life. The only bright spot in this whole fiasco was that they weren’t dating. Too bad he was the only man who ever really supported her without question or asking for anything in return. Even if it was just a friends with benefits situation. How would she explain this to Grady? How could she let him go especially with the wedding coming up in a week? The timing sucked but it had to be done sooner rather than later. If she let it linger, then more people would be hurt, especially if Caroline decided they were a couple and she had her heart set on it.
Maybe she didn’t have to make any decisions. They weren’t dating. They were having sex, nothing more. Maybe Grady wouldn’t care either way. She could be worrying for nothing.
She opened the fridge and cursed quietly. Why did she always believe food would miraculously appear when she never had time to grocery shop? She grabbed the stack of takeout menus on the counter.
Thai. Chinese. Pizza. She pressed a hand to her stomach. Which would aggravate her stomach the least?
The doorbell rang before she could decide.
She opened the door and grinned, trying not to let her sorrow shine through. “Late again.”
Grady’s crooked smile greeted her as he held up takeout bags. “I stopped for food.”
Her stomach let out a loud grumble, as if demanding the food. She grinned and stepped aside.
Food then sex. The perfect ending to a horrible week. She could wait on making any decisions. It wasn’t like either one of them were looking for a future together.
*
Grady hesitated outside Brigid’s door, a feeling of impending doom stopping him from going inside. The argument, that had plagued him over the past hour since the firm party had ended, surfaced, casting doubts that started during the party. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed by him or if he had misunderstood, but either way, this whole situation wasn’t working for him anymore. Maybe it had never really worked but he had been comfortable, willing to accept the relationship on the only terms Brigid would tolerate, due to her schedule and her plan.
That goddamn plan.
Brigid arched an eyebrow. “Coming in, cowboy? I’m getting hungry and you’re letting all the air conditioning out.”
He shook himself and strode in the apartment, tossing his keys on the table and shrugging out of his jacket. “I’ll bring this in the kitchen.”
She followed him into the galley-style kitchen and pulled out plates. He pulled out the Chinese food containers, handing her the beef broccoli and brown rice, while he took the General Tso’s chicken and white rice. Brigid’s stomach growled again, the sound filling the silence in which they worked. Grady, not having eaten much that day either, found himself nauseated by the smell of the food. Or maybe it was the tension left over from the evening’s activities. Either way, he was quickly thinking that it was a mistake coming here. Nothing good could happen late at night.
As if sensing his troubled thoughts, Brigid stopped and leaned against the counter, laying a hand on his arm. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” he mumbled. Then sighed. “No, it’s not.”
He turned and looked at her, unsure where to start. “What’s the deal with you and me? I heard you talking with Matthew and your other colleagues.”
She frowned. “Shit. You heard that. I’m sorry but you know the deal. This”—she pointed her finger between him and her—“is not a real relationship. You know that.”
He pushed the bags away and folded his arms across his chest, suppressing a spurt of anger that had been simmering all evening, letting it unfurl inside. “So, what is it really? In my book, two people have sex, they have a relationship.”
“It’s not real. Grady, it’s that friends with benefits thing. Both of us have been too busy to have a relationship. You’ve been dealing with your dad and turning your business around. I’m focused on my career. We have no time for dating or anything.”
“Maybe I want something more.” He sounded like a petulant child but, damn it, it frustrated him that she never saw him, never saw the real Grady Coughlin.
She sighed. “Is this because of what I said to Matthew? We agreed to keep this quiet because Caroline will run with it, planning a double wedding, if she had any idea. Neither one of us wants to be pushed into something we’re not ready for.”
“Wow.” He shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I feel so much better now.”
“Oh, Christ, Grady.” She threw up her hands. “Do we have to do this now? I’m dealing with a lot at work with this deal and I honestly can’t handle a personal crisis right now. And with the wedding next week, can’t we just let it go for now?”
He pushed off the counter and walked into the living room, the food abandoned. “I don’t think so, Brigid.” He paused, then asked the one question he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to. “Do I embarrass you?” He cringed and waited for her response.
“Embarrass me? Of course not.” She spoke quickly and looked taken aback, surprised by his question.
“So why do you invite some other guy to be your date?”
She grabbed him by the shoulders and focused on his eyes, gaze laser focused on him. “Because. We’re. Not. Dating.” She spoke the words slowly, as if he were stupid and needed the added emphasis. “We’re having sex. That’s a whole other thing. Most guys would be happy with that. No pressure, no responsibility.”
He broke her grasp gently and turned to the window, looking out into the night and the city lights. “That’s not me, Brigid. That’s never been me. Matthew’s right. I’m not made for casual sex and fun times. I’m about picket fences, commitment, and relationships.”
“You knew the score, Grady.”
“Yeah, I thought I could handle it. But this isn’t working anymore.” He took a deep breath, deciding to go for broke, even if meant chasing her away. “I want something more. With you.”
She stared at him as if he had sprouted horns and a tail. “More?”
“With you,” he clarified. H
e closed the gap between them, this time holding her in place, afraid she would rabbit on him, bolting as soon as shit got real. “I know this isn’t in your plan but plans change, right? And change could be good.”
She pulled back, but his grasp never broke, holding her in place. Brigid had a real talent for wiggling out of conversations she didn’t want to have and this was too important for her to avoid. When she finally met his gaze, her eyes were sad, filled with regret.
Shit, he really should have left it alone.
“Grady, I like you. I really do. But we want different things.”
He dropped his hands. “Obviously.”
She placed her hand on his cheek. “You’re a great guy and I’ve really enjoyed our time together, but you’re right. This isn’t working any more. It’s time for it to end.”
He gripped her hand. “So, you’re not even going to try a real relationship?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. We want different things. Our lives are different. Can you honestly tell me that you’d be happy dating someone who worked eighty hours a week, seven days a week? You know how much I work. You’ve seen Matthew’s schedule. You want someone to go to the movies with, to go hiking, work on your house. That’s not me. That will never be me.”
“Matthew and Caroline make it work. We could.”
“Caroline knows the score. Her father is an executive partner in the firm. She knows what Matthew has to do to make partner. It’s harder for me, for any woman. And you’ll eventually resent me, cheating on me with some cute interior decorator or something, and we’ll descend into icy silences or shouting matches. I have enough stress at work. I don’t want to ruin this friendship.”
He studied her for a long moment. “So, you don’t want a family, children, a life outside of the firm?” He made a sound of frustration. “Of course not. Your job is your whole life. Everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve been pushed towards your whole life.”
Brigid laid a hand on his arm, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “Yes, this is what I’ve worked towards, just like you have with your business. I’ve had to make sacrifices and choices based on my career to achieve those goals and will continue to do so.”