by Megan Ryder
He eyed her suspiciously. “What’s going on? Where’s my bed?”
“I decided this is foolishness. We’ve slept together for years and you can’t keep sleeping on a hard floor or a too-small couch. Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it. Just get in bed and sleep.”
She tried to keep the tremble from her voice but, judging by the assessment in his eyes, she didn’t succeed. She flipped back the sheets and tapped the bed. “I’ll even turn over to preserve your modesty.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
He stepped away from the door and shadows, clad in worn denim jeans and a cotton t-shirt, his eyes firmly fixed on her. She’d been trying to regain their old status quo for the past several days but, somehow, their equilibrium had been shattered and she didn’t think they could recover it ever again, especially after his question that evening.
Struggling in vain, she asked the only question she’d wanted to know. “Why did you ask me that question tonight?”
He paused next to the bed. “Do you really want to talk about a game or something else?”
“You’re the one who’s been shying away like a virginal high school girl at her first kegger.” She sounded grumpy but damn she had been stressed and needing him, not that she’d ever admit that to him, or anyone else.
He smiled in that moment, a predatory smile, and she was the prey. They’re relationship had done some sort of switch, role reversal where she was no longer in control. Oddly, she found it wildly attractive and seductive at the same time.
She grew wet at the thought of an in-control Grady, even as she panicked at the idea of being out of control. Yet, for once, she didn’t feel terrified at placing her trust in him. She realized she had done so already and knew deep in her heart that he would never let her down.
It was the soul-deep trust of another person, for perhaps the first time in her life, that scared the living daylights out of her.
“Brigid?” He asked, hands fisted at his sides.
She rose on her knees, letting the sheet slip off her shoulders and pool around her. She curled her fingers around his arms and drew him closer, until her other hand could reach around his neck and pull his head down to her lips for a kiss. She brushed her mouth against his, lightly, teasingly, a tiny nip against his lower lip, inviting him to play. He tugged his head up and his gaze met hers, a question in his.
“Brigid, what game are you playing?” His voice was deep and husky, sending shivers down her spine.
“No games, Grady. Not tonight.” She settled back on her heels, teeth tugging at her lower lip, suddenly unsure. Had she completely screwed this up?
“I’m not up for a bout of stress relief. I told you my terms. All or nothing, Brigid. You’re in or you’re out. I’m done with whatever the fuck we were doing.” Grady’s voice was harsh, almost angry, and his jaw tightened in the moonlight, the muscles jumping in his cheek as he glared at her.
She shivered again, the edge of anger more of a turn on than she ever anticpated. Maybe she should have tried sexy lingerie. Seduction just wasn’t the same with boy shorts and a tank top. Although it had always worked before. She paused as she considered his demands. Was she ready to try this? Could she really try for a relationship?
He stepped back. “Forget it. I’ll find somewhere to sleep.”
“No.” She scrambled to her feet. “Wait, just give me a minute.”
He whirled around so fast, she stumbled back against the bed. He grabbed her wrist to keep her from falling, hauling her up against him. “If it’s right, you shouldn’t have to think about it.”
She yanked her hand out of his grasp. “You think this is so easy for me? Five days ago, I was working my ass off for partner and I had an uncomplicated relationship with you. Mutually beneficial, I think we had described it before. Now, I suddenly find out I don’t like my job, you want a real relationship, and my whole life is shit. Can you see why this is all so fucked up for me? Why I might need a few minutes to think about it?”
“Maybe that’s your problem, Brigid. You think too much. What does your heart tell you?”
“I don’t know!” She wailed. “I’ve never listened to it before.”
He went so still, so quiet for several long moments, she worried he had tuned her out. Her father used to do that whenever she got emotional or he didn’t like the way she was acting. She held her breath, unsure of what to do. Finally, he groaned and yanked her to his chest, enfolding her in a bear hug. She shuddered and went limp against him, the relief so overwhelming if he hadn’t been holding her up, she probably would have collapsed to the floor.
He kissed the top of her head and rubbed his cheek against her. “Brigid, I know this is hard for you, baby. Trust me and let me in. We can have so much more together. I may not be a lawyer or something but I care for you. Just give me a chance.”
She nodded against his chest, the steady beating of his heart soothing her, reassuring her of his presence. This was what she had always been needing. She had thought it was always the sex but it was the connection they had, the intimacy she had felt when she was with him. No judgment, no need to prove herself. Grady might have been the first person in her life who accepted her for who she was, outside of the girls, of course. Something inside always knew that, even as she denied it all along.
Could she risk a chance with him?
*
Grady rested his chin on Brigid’s head and sighed, the frustration draining out of him, replaced by tension of a whole other sort. Brigid was almost boneless in his arms, not the spitfire he had been fighting with for the past four years. Yeah, it had added some spice to their encounters. A little angry sex was never a bad thing. But he didn’t want to be fighting for the rest of his life and, finally, it seemed he had made a breakthrough in Brigid’s massive wall around her heart and soul. It had crumbled quicker than he had thought but he worried it had been too easy and he feared something else might have been damaged along with the wall. Or maybe there were other traps laid in and this was just the preliminary foray. Either way, he wasn’t letting her go, not tonight. He’d solidify his position and hope for the best tomorrow.
He placed two fingers under her chin and tilted her up to his gaze. Her eyes sparkled with uncertainty but no tears, thank goodness. He couldn’t have stood her tears. But Brigid was stronger than that. Even stripped down bare, nothing brought her to tears. He lowered his head and kissed her softly on the lips, a gentle seduction of her senses, designed to pull her in, to entice her. A breathy sigh escaped in a slow exhale and she sagged against him, surrendering completely to him. He slid his hands down her back and cupped the cheeks of her ass, gripping them firmly as he pulled her against his erection. She wound her arms around his neck and tugged the longer strand of his hair that tickled his neck. He trailed his lips down the side of her neck, licking the salty moisture that gathered on her skin. He nipped the wildly beating pulse at her neck and moaned long and low, her head falling back as she opened herself up to him, physically and emotionally.
He walked her backwards a few steps until her knees hit the mattress. She sat back on the bed and he followed her down, lying next to her, lips dipping into the notch at the base of her throat, then lower to trace the edge of the lace of her tank top with his tongue. She shuddered, her breath jagged and rough.
He ran a hand under her top to cup her breast, his thumb running over the sensitive tip, once then twice. She jerked, pushing into his hand with a plea. “Please, Grady. Stop teasing.”
He grinned against her skin, loving the teasing as opposed to their usual hurried, almost frenetic sex. “What do you want, Brigid? This?” He kissed the gently swelling mounds. “Or this?” He nipped her then soothed the sting with little licks. “Or this?”
He moved down and captured her other nipple in his mouth through the cotton top, biting down lightly, then sucking. Her breath caught in her throat and her back bowed under him, almost bucking him off.
“Oh no, we can’t have
that. You need to stay still, Brigid.” He draped a leg across her lower body, and she arched into him, trying to get closer.
“Grady, please.” Her breathy whisper made him grin.
He tugged her tank up, baring her breasts completely and caressed the swollen mounds, plumping them. He teased one nipple with tiny lashes of his tongue and teeth while his fingers twisted and tormented the other, then he switched until she writhed on the bed, pleading for more. Only then did he make his way down her stomach, skimming the creamy skin until he met the lace of her boy shorts.
“Did I ever tell you how sexy I find these?”
“And I was just wishing I had sexier lingerie with me,” she whispered.
“Not on my account. I find the lace edging on these, bisecting your ass, hotter than a thong any day of the week. Don’t ever change on my account, Brigid.”
She froze under him and he paused. “But I am changing. You’re changing me.”
He realized in an instant that he had made a tactical error, threw her out of the moment. He quickly moved up her body, settled his hips between her thighs and framed her face with his hands, forcing her to look at him.
“Brigid, I only want you to be happy. If you don’t want to change, you don’t have to. I love you the way you are.”
Her eyes opened wide and panic reflected in them. “You love me?”
He cursed in his head. So not the way to tell her that. Actually, it was probably the best way to scare her off.
But the words were out there. “Yes, I do. And I don’t expect you to say it back. Not now, only when you’re ready. No pressure.”
Her freak out hadn’t lessened at his words. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you doesn’t seem quite right. I care about you but I’m not sure I can say I love you. Not now.”
He suppressed the disappointment, knowing full well how emotions were for her, how he had put her on the spot. But he had faith she had deeper feeling for him, deeper than caring. Or maybe that was hope. No, he wasn’t going there. He was all in and had to believe Brigid would get there. Or this was all for nothing.
She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him down for a deep, sensual kiss, pulling him back into the moment. “But I want to give this a try, Grady. I truly care about you, more than I ever thought possible. Can you give me a chance?”
“I’ll give you all the time you need.”
And, in that instant, she took charge of their interlude, wrapping a leg around his waist and flipping him onto his back, a seductive smile on her face.
“Now, where were we?”
*
Brigid braced herself on her knees, straddling Grady’s abdomen, and smirked at his stunned face. She hadn’t thought she could see him any more surprised than when he announced that he loved her. Clearly that declaration was not supposed to come out yet and, while it certainly freaked her out, somehow it also oddly comforted her, as if she was safe. And that was what scared the crap out of her. However, while they both figured out what their next steps were, Grady had something she wanted and she’d like to think she had something he wanted too and they had a whole night to kill. So, she took over. She was good at that.
She tossed off her tank top and threw it somewhere to the side and ran her fingers down his chest, the cotton of the worn t-shirt soft under her skin. “While I’m practically naked, you have a way to catch up.” She slid her hands under his shirt and pushed it up, feeling the rippling of his muscles as he tensed at her touch. “I want this off.”
He obligingly lifted, in a modified crunch and let her pull it off of him. She grinned. “Show off.”
He quirked a grin. “You wanted it off. I’m just following orders. Now what?”
She scraped her fingernails down his chest and he shivered. At least the torture of the manicure was worth something. God, he truly was the best-looking man she had seen in forever. Most of the men she dealt with got any of their muscles at a gym and never looked as tan or fit like Grady. With the tip of her index finger, she traced the little angled indentations at his lower abdomen, his obliques or something she’d heard them called. Giving into temptation, she bent over and traced it with her tongue, a masculine groan and a jerk of his stomach responding to her touch. She grinned against his skin, loving the power in the moment. They had never really slowed down like this, never took their time during sex. She had really been missing out.
She rubbed her butt against his denim covered erection, the rough material scraping against her skin and triggering little sparks between her thighs. Her panties were soaked and she desperately wanted relief but his jeans were in the way, not to mention her own shorts. She really hadn’t thought this through. Damn, she should have had him take his jeans off before flipping him.
She undid the button at the top of his jeans and tugged on the zipper, her hands shaking in her haste and nervousness. His hand quickly stopped her. “Let me. Please.”
She stepped off and quickly shucked her tank and boy shorts while he slipped off his own jeans and briefs. She expected him to take over but he laid back down and stretched out, staring at her expectantly. “I’m all yours.”
She stared at his erection, her mouth watering. Her hands reached out and stroked him from root to tip, gently then a little rougher as he groaned, encouraging her movements. She bent to take him in her mouth but he stopped her.
“I won’t be able to last.”
She sat back on her heels, uncertain. He sat up and leaned over her, slowly pushing her back on the bed, watching her carefully the whole time, as if making sure she was okay. He got up and went to his duffle bag, rifling about for something. Finally, he came up with a box of condoms. She arched her eyebrow.
“Feeling pretty confident, weren’t you?”
“Hopeful.”
He tossed a few packets on the bed and came back over her, settling between her legs. He took her lips in a drugging kiss, sweeping her back into the heat of passion in an instant, the heat rising fast and furious until arousal pounded deep inside, insistent and demanding. She ran one of her legs up his thigh to his hip, pulling him towards her, tilting her hips into him, taunting him. His cock rubbed against her sensitive folds and she moaned into his mouth.
He dropped kisses down her throat and began a steady path down her body, intent on his purpose. She shifted on the bed, but he held her firmly in place until he was between her thighs, his shoulder holding her legs apart. He placed a kiss at the top of her neatly trimmed mound, thank god for the spa day, then lower for a more intimate kiss. He traced his tongue through her damp folds and her breath stuttered to a stop, then started again, harsh, jerky, and unsteady. He built her up to a shuddering climax, quick and fast until she came with a loud cry. But, instead of letting her rest, he plunged his fingers deep inside, finding that magic spot that always drove her higher and pushed her over again into another orgasm.
By the time she had come down from that one, he had sheathed himself in a condom and was poised at her entrance. He stared at her intently, waiting for her to recognize him, then he sank into her in one deep thrust to the hilt. She arched into him, groaning at the fullness, and he waited, letting her adjust to his size. When she started moving restlessly against him, he began thrusting, shallow digs, then deeper glides, alternating motions designed to keep her on edge, driving her higher and higher until she came again, clenching around him, back arching as she clawed his back. He followed her over and collapsed, rolling to the side, pulling her with him, both breathing heavily.
She wiped her damp hair out of her face and gently kissed him, stroking the side of his face, the only way she knew how to express how she was feeling. He turned his head and placed a kiss in the palm of her hand. She smiled and laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes, content.
*
After Grady had disposed of the condom and cleaned them up, he had pulled them both under the covers to try to get some sleep. He lay on his back, Brigid snuggled close to him, his arm wrapped aroun
d her. She never cuddled after sex. She never actually got up and left but there was always a barrier between them, a wall Brigid put up to keep everything in its place – him, work, her family. Never the twain shall meet.
This week, something had changed between them, something fundamental. It started when he pushed for more but it wouldn’t have gone anywhere if she had not made a move, even unconsciously. Maybe it was the truth or dare game or his question or, more likely, her answer which surprised everyone, although they had all been smart enough to say nothing.
He had very nearly made a huge error admitting his feelings, something guaranteed to drive Brigid screaming from the room. He wasn’t ashamed of his feelings. He’d known for a while he was falling in love with her, despite all of his concerns about their differences. Surprisingly, she didn’t get up and leave, instead, she became even more engaged, even more passionate than usual and he suspected it was the only way she could show her emotions. She still had those walls around her heart, heavy-duty protections that would take more than a carnival and a game of truth or dare to demolish.
Fortunately, Grady was trained to break things down and rebuild them better, stronger, and enduring. He could be patient. She was worth it.
Chapter Twenty
Brigid woke slowly the next morning to clouds and dark, threatening skies. The other side of the bed was cool, indicating Grady had gotten up much sooner and not woken her up. If she hadn’t seen the rumpled sheets, she wouldn’t have believed last night had actually happened. Then she swung her legs out and the soreness between her thighs was another hint that last night had been real.
More than just great sex had happened. She and Grady had had sex before. Last night went well beyond that, and not just because he said the dreaded three words – I love you. Grady lived his life out there, exactly who he was, not putting on any airs or masks, while Brigid tended to build walls and protections, hiding who she was and what she felt, analyzing everything until she had determined the best course of action. Her father had taught her that; always plan every step from vacations to your career. Nothing was left to chance. Anything went wrong, she’d better have a contingency, and another contingency. No excuses for failure, always have a backup plan. Then she met Grady and nothing had gone according to plan.