by Megan Ryder
*
Brigid stroked Grady’s back under the blanket. As usual, he had recovered quickly and taken care of everything. Gotten up after they had made love, because what they had done, both tonight and last night, was so far from sex as anything before, he had cleaned them up, brought them some snacks, and covered them up with a blanket to ward off the chill in the air. Now they snuggled on an air mattress in front of the fire in a nice nest, cozy and warm and drowsy. Yet, despite being sated and tired physically, her mind was whirling much like the wind outside.
“Does your brain ever shut off?” Grady’s voice was a low rumble under her cheek and his hand traced the curve of her spine.
She lifted her head and studied him for a long moment. “You already know the answer to that.”
His hand stopped moving for a moment, then started again, his gaze never leaving the fire. She struggled to her elbows and propped her chin in her hand. “Grady, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what you said and I really suck at this but I have to try to get it out.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw and his body tensed against her as if bracing for a blow. “Brigid, we can forget about it, talk about it another time.”
She was shaking her head before he was even done. “No, I owe you this. I owe myself this.”
She fell silent, unsure how to start. Somehow, throughout her life, she was missing the girl gene, that special something that gave her the ability to talk about her feelings, know exactly what to say to make someone feel better, know exactly what to wear and how to act in every situation, and enjoy spa days like other women. Instead, she argued with people about court cases, legal issues, and political statements. Talking about her feelings never fit in anywhere, much less trying to analyze how she felt at any given moment. Now, Grady deserved to know how she felt, even if she had no clue how to explain it. But, somehow, Grady would understand no matter how she screwed it up.
He waited patiently, much as he always did. And that was when she realized why she cared about him and what to say.
“Grady, everyone in my life has put conditions on love. My parents demanded success, a certain career, grades, whatever you call it, in order for us to be worthy of their love and attention. You’re the first person who never demanded anything from me. Never asked anything. Instead, you’ve always been there when I needed you. When I had the flu, you brought me soup and groceries. When I needed comfort, you were there. When I’m afraid, you know it. I don’t know how, but you do. And yet, even when I push you away, you’re still there, steady and strong like a beacon in the storm. I have a lot going on in my life but somehow, I don’t know how, you’ve become my anchor, my rock. If that’s love, then I guess I love you.”
A log snapped in the fire and she jumped. The silence dragged on for several moments and the storm raged outside. She laid a hand on Grady’s chest, his heart beating steady and sure. She held her breath, waiting for his response, her stomach clenching deep inside. Had he changed his mind? Did he regret saying he loved her? Maybe he really didn’t. Damn, why couldn’t she be more like Delaney or Anna, able to just speak her mind and tell people how she felt. Instead, she was an emotionally stunted woman who had no idea how to deal with a relationship.
He squeezed her tightly and pressed a kissed to her forehead. “Stop thinking so damn hard. You’re drowning out the sound of the storm.”
“Did you hear anything I said?”
He burst out laughing and rolled her under him, bracing himself above her. “Every word. And I’ll say it again. I love you. No conditions, no strings. We’ll figure everything else out.”
“What about my job?”
He sighed. “I hate to see you miserable but if you want to stay there, I’ll support it. I just have one request. Balance. Make room for me, for your friends. Your life can’t be all about your job to the exclusion of everything else. I want to be a part of your life, not a hidden part. Not only when it’s convenient. I want us to be in a real relationship, no one else. Can you do that?”
She nodded. “I promise. I’ll make time for you and everyone else. But how will I fill my time when I’m not working?”
A slow grin crossed his face. “Well, we can start with this.”
He lowered his head and showed her exactly how he’d help her fill her free time.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Brigid woke slowly to music. The sounds from the storm had ended and the power had returned including the music from the sound system, the lights, and ticking of the clock on the wall. All the sounds rudely intruded on the blissful peace she had experienced with Grady over the past twenty-four hours. She stretched gently, so as to not dislodge Grady’s arm, the weight across her midsection was so comforting.
That same arm tightened around her waist, hauling her up against his side. He nuzzled her neck, dropping kisses along her throat. She shivered and snuggled into his heat. She relaxed for several long moments, enjoying the warmth and comfort that only Grady could provide. Only with him did she feel completely relaxed and comfortable with who she was, the only person who accepted her, flaws and all.
“I’m going to quit my job.” She spoke quietly, as if testing the words out loud.
He sat up on one elbow. “What? Why?”
She rolled on her back to see him better. “Because my job makes us miserable and impossible.”
He sat up and leaned against the couch. “I never said you had to quit your job to date me. I’m perfectly fine with you and your job. I just wanted you to make time for other things like your best friend’s wedding and us. Only quit your job if you want to.”
She also sat up, holding the blanket against her chest as defense for the argument. “You’ve been harping on how bad my job is, how it’s killing me. Now you want me to stay there?”
“I never said it was a condition of us dating. You said that.”
“So, you want me to stay there?” Her mind whirled, baffled by his response. First the job was a problem and now it wasn’t? How could she keep up?
“Stay there. Quit. It’s up to you.” He shrugged. “I just want to be a part of your life, not an embarrassing little side secret, only convenient for sex when you’re feeling tense.”
“I don’t see you that way.” Her brow furrowed. Had she treated him that way?
“Maybe not anymore. I just want to keep it like this when we go back to reality.”
Her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know if I can promise this. We’re on an island with no Internet right now. When we get back to Houston, my job with require my attention more than a couple hours a day.”
He laid a hand on her cheek. “All I ask is that you give us a chance. Make some time for me. For us.”
She dropped her blanket and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Always, Grady. I promise.”
He shifted and lowered her down onto the floor, and proceeded to remind her of him and how good they could be together.
*
Much later, after Grady had inspected the cottage and confirmed they had survived well, he drove them back to the house to meet the rest of the group. They walked in the house, hand in hand, Brigid holding true to her commitment to giving them a chance and not hiding their relationship. Caroline sipped coffee at the kitchen table with Wyatt and Anna. Delaney and Ethan had not returned yet. Judging by the air of romance in the room, the pairing off and the storm had created more romance than Caroline’s matchmaking could have ever hoped.
Anna and Caroline eyed Brigid’s and Grady’s interlocked hands and raised their brows. The door to the study opened and Matthew strode out looking quite disturbed. He froze in his path as he took in Brigid and Grady looking so cozy. He frowned, looking slightly more thunderous than the storm clouds the previous day.
“Brigid, why weren’t you answering your phone?”
“I left it here. I figured we wouldn’t have power or cell reception so why bring it? Besides, I promised Grady one night without it.” She glanced up at him and blushed.
“You could have called me. Is it the hotel?” Grady asked.
“Not exactly. Brigid, Peterman has been trying to get a hold of you since yesterday. The Cournoyer deal has been moved up to this week. They need you back in Houston.”
After several long moments of silence, Caroline jumped to her feet. “Hell no. This is my wedding and Brigid is one of my bridesmaids. She can’t leave.”
Matthew turned to her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Caro, she has no choice. This is her job.”
“But it’s just a job. Not her whole life. This is my wedding. I’ll call my father. He’ll make sure she doesn’t have to go back.”
“No.” The word sounded like a croak from her suddenly tight throat. She cleared her throat and swallowed. “No, I have to do it. Caroline, I could be fired if I don’t go back.”
At her words, Grady dropped her hand and stepped away. She didn’t dare look up at him, afraid of his condemnation.
“My father…”
“Your father can do nothing. This is business not personal.” Brigid countered.
“Bullshit. You said it yourself. Peterman has it out for you. This is his way of messing with you.” Grady bit out the words.
Brigid was already shaking her head. “He wouldn’t do that. He may not like me that much but he wouldn’t have called me back if he didn’t need me.” She looked at Matthew. “Did he say when the deal with scheduled for?”
Matthew’s gaze was hard but sympathetic. “Saturday morning. Cournoyer is headed to Tokyo for business for a month. He has to sign the papers now.”
Dammit. She had no choice. Even if she gave up her chance for the promotion, she still would have to go back or not go back at all. And right now, she needed her job for student loans and a chance at any other jobs. Walking away now would put any future career at risk. Her thoughts raced, trying to figure out options.
“Look, Caroline. Your wedding is Saturday night. I can be back by then. Maybe Peterman will let me leave once my work is done. But I will find a way to come back. I promise.”
Caroline turned away, hurt and anger etched in the tension of her shoulders. “I’ve heard that before. My shower, when you were two hours late. On a Saturday, no less. Lunch plans. Dinners. If you’re going, don’t rush back. I’ll figure something out. That’s what we do, isn’t it? Work our lives around your job?”
Brigid flinched as if struck. She looked at everyone else and no one met her gaze, except Matthew, who clearly sympathized with her situation. He stepped forward to Caroline, laying a hand on her shoulder.
“She has no choice, Caroline. You know this.” Matthew said, quietly.
“And you’re defending her. I see where I rate now that you’re a partner. I don’t care. Leave.” She stalked out the door, Anna following on her heels, with one last glaring look.
Matthew turned to Brigid. “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her. Try to get back if you can.” Then he followed her out the back door.
She turned to Grady, tears in her eyes. “I have to go.”
His face was stone, hard and unforgiving. “This is your best friend’s wedding. Can’t you see that this is not okay?”
“Can’t you see that I have no choice? If I don’t go back, my whole career is shot.”
“You gave them the power to call you back, by working all week on your vacation, setting the precedent for them calling you back. Do you think Terrence would come back from the Caribbean?”
“Oh, please. He wouldn’t be able to get that quick a flight.”
“Exactly. He’s set his boundaries but you never did. You basically told them that you’re available anytime, anywhere. And now you want your friends to understand. Sorry, Brigid. This is one time that I can’t understand and I don’t blame Caroline if she can’t forgive you.”
Tears were flowing freely now, and her body shook. She wrapped her arms around her core to try to hold it together but she felt as if she would fly apart at any moment. His words were harsher than Caroline, stabbing her repeatedly in the heart.
“What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to put your friends first, not your job. I want you to say no.” He was yelling now, as if that would make the words sink in further.
“So much for you being able to handle my job. The first time something doesn’t go your way, you reject me. Maybe you’re right, this could never work. If you can’t accept me and my job, then maybe we should end it now.”
He grabbed her shoulders and just about shouted at her. “Brigid, this is not okay, not for a fucking business deal. I mean, if you were doing life-saving surgery, maybe. But this is so your firm and some anonymous guy can make more money than they need. When will it end?”
She pulled back from him, wrenching out of his grasp, wiping the tears from her face, finding the steel spine deep inside. “It ends now, Grady. If you’ll excuse me, I have to head to the mainland.”
Blindly, she grabbed her laptop from the study and her phone, and headed upstairs to finish her packing. While doing that, she called her boss and confirmed she’d be headed back on the next ferry. She threw her clothes in the suitcase, blindly packing through her tears, praying she could get through the next few days without completely breaking down. She’d fix it all after the deal. She always fixed things.
Peterman’s voice on the phone was stern and uncompromising. “I’m very disappointed in you, Brigid. You promised you’d be available this whole week and when we needed you, you were nowhere to be found.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but a major storm knocked out power and cell service for twenty-four hours. I only just now got power back. I’m doing the best I can.”
“Well, I hope it’s enough. See you in a few hours.”
Great. She’s pissed everyone off now. Well, that was just par for the course. If she had stayed focused on work and not let anything or anyone distract her, this would have never happened. Better it happened now than several months later, when she would have been devastated.
Work was her salvation, always was and always would be. Better that she remembered that now.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Once Matthew drove her to the ferry, the rest was fairly easy. She scanned emails on the ride over to the mainland and then drove back to Houston, stopping quickly at home for work appropriate attire. Barely four hours after the call and she was at her desk as if she had never left. The knot at the pit of her stomach had flared up again and her shoulders had boulders in them from the amount of work they had ahead of them in two days. She hadn’t even made it to her office when Peterman stopped and dragged her into a meeting with the team. Her assignment load was intense. It almost covered the fact that she had bailed on her best friend and her commitments.
Almost.
For the next several hours, she buried herself in property law and doing the final review on the contracts and agreements to ensure everything was ready for the signing on Saturday. Honestly, it was mostly detail work, coordinating copies and ensuring everything was truly lined up correctly. But Terrence had never been good at the fine print and Brigid found herself shouldering more and more of the details with the paralegals. Finally, she stretched and noticed the sun had dimmed considerably and the office was silent. She stretched in her chair, knuckling the hardest knots in her neck to no avail. A headache blossomed, whether it was stress, lack of food, or intense computer work, it didn’t matter. Her stomach grumbled and, combined with the pain, reminded her to get something in there fast. Since she had been in a rush, she had had no time to pack a lunch. She opened her door to head to the employee lounge and scrounge for food and the delicious smells of pizza wafted down the hall. She inhaled the spicy aroma and her stomach immediately protested. Nope, not pizza.
She opened the fridge and found a yogurt that she had squirreled away for an occasion like this. Crackers in her desk would be a nice balance to this, until she could get something real. She slid into a seat and began eating, needing the break from the office and blin
king cursor and bright monitor. Her mind immediately wandered to the island and the ugly scene when she had left.
She understood their perspective. But Caroline knew the score better than anyone else how demanding the firm is. They tell everyone during their interview that they will require complete dedication to the job, complete focus, almost to the exclusion of all else. They were very clear and Caroline knew that from her father, one of the executive partners, and her fiancé, a newly minted partner. It wasn’t just Brigid’s choice to screw her.
But it was, a niggling voice inside her head said.
True, if she had been further away, she could not have come home and they probably wouldn’t have asked anyway. If she had set boundaries and not checked email once or even worked on her vacation, she wouldn’t have known if they contacted her. If she hadn’t told them to call her, she wouldn’t be back here working, increasing her friend’s stress level right before the wedding. And if she hadn’t agreed to work on her vacation, they wouldn’t have considered calling her in. But she had too much at stake to throw it all away now.
What really pissed her off was Grady’s reaction. Less than twelve hours before, he said he was okay with her job and her dedication. Yet at the first sign of pressure, he turned on her and accused her of being selfish, concerned about work over friends. That was exactly why she didn’t want to date him. Only another professional like her would understand the demands of work over personal life. Someday, she’d be able to have other priorities but not until she made partner.
And then what? That damn niggling voice just wouldn’t shut up.
But, if she had to admit it, she probably would never be able to give up work as top priority and for what? Grady’s question during truth or dare brought home all of her doubts. Growing up, her father worked all the time, on the rare family vacations they had, on weekends, nights. All the time. And they were all expected to be working too. His favorite saying was nothing in life was free, no matter what their age. They had chores from the time they could just about get around and they never got rewarded for school, even honors.