by Janet Albert
"...classes in Pilates, yoga, aerobics and kickboxing."
Miranda stopped Jamie with her hand. "Don't bother to go over all of that. I don't like group classes and besides, I have to fit my workouts in whenever I can find the time." Without so much as another word, she left Jamie's office and went back into the gym.
Jamie hurried behind her. "No problem. We're open from six am until midnight. I'll be around and if you don't see me, ask someone to find me." Jamie caught up to Miranda and grabbed her arm. "See that cute redhead right over there?" Jamie pointed to Alicia and waved to her. Alicia smiled and waved back.
"I see her." Miranda gave Alicia a feeble wave.
"She can always find me. We share a cabin."
"I need to get going." Miranda glanced at her arm where Jamie held onto her.
Jamie did not let go. "Do you have to run off so soon?"
"I have work to do. Thanks for everything. I guess I'll see you around."
"I hope so." Still gripping Miranda's arm tightly, Jamie wrapped her other arm around Miranda's shoulder and pulled her into a hug. "See you around, sweetie. Don't be a stranger."
Miranda jumped back the instant Jamie released her. "Do you have to hug me every time you see me?" The words rushed out of her mouth before she could stop them and she was both surprised and embarrassed by what she'd said. One look at Jamie made her feel even worse. How could she have behaved in such a ridiculous manner? What had come over her? Why did it bother her so much when Jamie hugged her? People hugged each other all the time, didn't they? She didn't know the answer to any of those questions. In fact, she only knew one thing. Everything about Jamie Jeffries bothered her. Everything.
"God, I'm sorry. Does it bother you?"
"I wouldn't have said anything if it didn't." Now she sounded ridiculous and mean and to make matters worse, she'd failed to stop digging a deeper hole for herself while she had the chance. "I'm affectionate, honestly I am, it's just that..."
"Don't explain. I can see I keep upsetting you and believe me, it's the last thing I want to do. We do a lot of hugging in our business and I guess I sometimes forget that it's not for everyone. Please forgive me if I seemed insensitive. I won't hug you anymore." Jamie blinked her wet eyes. "I promise."
Look at her. She was just being nice and now I've hurt her feelings. What have I become? "I guess I'm not like most people," Miranda offered, a pathetic response at best, considering the circumstances. Instead of feeling relieved by Jamie's promise, she felt hurt and oddly disappointed. Now she probably thinks I'm a frigid bitch who can't stand to be touched. Maybe I am. "Like I said before, I have work to do." Not knowing what else to say, she turned and started to walk away.
"Wait, please," Jamie called out, forcing Miranda to turn and face her. "There's a staff party tonight. Would you go with me? I'll buy you a drink and we can talk and get to know each other better. What do you say?"
Without missing a beat, Miranda said, "I can't. I have too much work to do and I have to catch up on my reading. You have a good time." I can't possibly get to know you better. No, no, no. No way. This time, she kept on walking.
Chapter Six
JAMIE GLANCED UP from her desk and caught sight of Miranda the minute she entered the gym. As far as she knew, the doctor hadn't been back since her fitness assessment. She wanted to jump up and go out to greet her, but she didn't. Evidently, Miranda wanted to be left alone, or maybe she just wanted Jamie to leave her alone. At any rate, it boiled down to the same thing.
Twenty minutes later, no longer able to fight the urge, Jamie stood up, went over to the doorway of her office and watched Miranda as she ran on the treadmill. Just as she was about to return to her desk, she spotted Alicia and gestured for her to come over.
"Hey Alicia, what are you doing?"
"Nothing right now. I just finished a session with a client."
"Look who's here." Jamie pointed with her head and eyes in Miranda's direction.
"Ah, the pretty doctor herself. She was in here yesterday too."
"She was? I must have missed her." Damn it. Where was I?
"You weren't here. I think you were at lunch."
"Did she ask for me?"
"Not that I know of." Alicia glanced at Jamie out of the corner of her eye and smiled. "Uh-oh, is someone interested in the doctor? Damn she's pretty, even sweaty and all."
"She sure is," Jamie confirmed. "Cute little outfit she's wearing, don't you think? Have you seen her in her officer's uniform?"
"No, I can't say that I have. Sexy, huh?"
"God, you don't know the half of it. She wore it the first time she came here to talk to me and I couldn't tear my eyes away. She has to wear a skirt, you know, and she has great legs. She looked like she just graduated from the naval academy."
"The ship's doctor is a high ranking naval officer, Jamie."
"I know that. You know what else I like? Her dark, almost black eyes and that pale flawless skin. She reminds me of a fine porcelain figurine."
"I'm sure she looked stunning, but..." Alicia looked at her with concern.
"But what?" It wasn't Alicia's nature to discourage someone from admiring a sexy woman. "What's on your mind?"
"Well, for starters, she seems cold and intimidating. I don't know, I guess she just rubs me the wrong way or something." Alicia frowned and then added, "I suppose she does have a certain air of mystique about her if you like that kind of thing."
"That makes her more attractive, don't you think?"
"I don't know. I think it makes her kind of scary."
"I know she seems cold and intimidating, just like you said, Alicia, but--and I can't explain this--but I can't believe she's really like that. I think she's really a nice person inside even though she's given me every reason to think otherwise. I think she's just protecting herself. Anyway, it doesn't matter how I feel about her. She's way out of my league."
"What did she do to you?" Alicia put her hands on her hips and frowned.
"Nothing, really." Nothing I didn't cause myself. "She made some condescending remarks that stung a bit. I think she was surprised to learn that I had an education and anything in the way of smarts. She acts superior, but I think it's because she's guarded and reserved. Don't forget, she's the ship's doctor. Maybe she can't afford to be too friendly. She might have to take care of us at any time."
"I suppose you're right, when you put it that way."
"I think I got too chummy when I did her fitness assessment. I hugged her before she left, like we always do, and she made it clear she didn't like it. I can't blame her for that. I should have been more sensitive."
"You didn't mean any harm. What's wrong with hugging her?"
"Uh, nothing. I guess she just can't handle being touched. I should have known better and kept my distance. I'm her fitness trainer. That's a professional relationship."
"In a way, but it's not like you're her psychotherapist or minister or something like that and you're violating some sacred trust. You're her fitness trainer."
"Still..."
"Still, nothing. Is that why you're standing here talking to me instead of going over there and talking to her?" Alicia poked Jamie in the ribs. "I know you want to."
Jamie shook her off. Alicia had an annoying gift for getting down to the bottom line. "I don't want her to think I'm going to bother her every time she comes to the gym. She's under a lot of pressure and she has a right to work out in peace. From what she told me, being the ship's doctor isn't easy."
"Jamie, you don't need to justify her behavior or make excuses for her. Basically, I can't imagine being any kind of doctor. It's got to be a pain in the ass dealing with sick, complaining people all the time. It would never interest me and I think it's gross. All that blood and vomit and stuff and people's dirty feet and all."
Jamie laughed out loud. "For heaven's sake. I suppose you could never be a nurse, either." Grabbing Alicia's arm, she playfully pushed her to the side.
"No way in hell--that's eve
n worse." Alicia grimaced and groaned.
"I'm sure it can't be all that bad, although it takes a special person. Doctor Ross must be very bright and dedicated."
"I'm sure she is, but I wonder how she relates to her patients?"
"Who knows? Your guess would be as good as mine. She told me she used to work in the emergency room. That must have been exciting."
"Too exciting if you ask me. Why all the interest in the doctor, anyway?"
"I don't know. She fascinates me." Jamie pointed a finger at Alicia, lowered her voice and said, "I swear, if you say anything to anyone about this..."
Alicia held up her right hand as if taking an oath. "Relax. I won't, I swear."
"I find her very attractive." Jamie admitted, as much to herself as to her friend, leaving out the added admission that she'd never been this interested in anyone. Seeing the look of astonishment on Alicia's face, she added, "I can't help it, I just do."
"No kidding? Are you for real? You could have anyone, so why do you want her of all people?"
"I didn't exactly say I wanted her," Jamie clarified.
"There's a difference?" Alicia's eyebrows lifted and her eyes got big.
"There certainly is. I just want to get to know her better, talk to her more."
"Uh, huh..."
"Well, I do, but it doesn't matter anyway. Trust me, she couldn't care less about me and she couldn't be less interested. I guarantee you, nothing will ever happen between us." Jamie forced a long breath out between tight lips and folded her arms across her chest. "Ironic, isn't it?"
"You're not kidding. Forgive me for saying this, but that's got to be a new experience for you. Maybe that's why you find her so attractive, you know, because she's indifferent and so hard to get. Maybe you see it as a challenge?"
"Aren't you the perceptive one? I hate to think that's true, but you may be right. We humans always seem to want what we can't have, don't we?"
"Yeah, and we feel so special if we end up getting it." Alicia looked at Jamie intently. "Let me ask you something. Do you even know if she's a lesbian? It's not that obvious in her case and just because she's on these lesbian cruises doesn't mean that she is. I've made that mistake once or twice." Alicia rolled her eyes.
"I hope she is, but no, I don't know for sure. I'm pretty sure of one thing, though. I don't think she's involved with anyone." I guess she intends to keep it that way.
"Yeah, that's...oops, I gotta run, Jamie. I just saw my next client coming through the door. Why don't you go say hello to your client? It's not like you to be shy. Just don't touch her." Alicia winked.
"Don't you worry. I think I've learned my lesson." Jamie clasped one of her hands in the other and held them in front of her. "I'll keep my hands to myself."
"See that you do. Catch you later."
After Alicia took off, Jamie watched Miranda jog at a leisurely pace for a minute or two, until she saw her adjust the treadmill to a walking speed. Maybe Alicia was right, Jamie thought. What harm would it do to go over and say hello?
Miranda reached the end of her cool down period just as Jamie came up beside the treadmill. After acknowledging Jamie's presence with a nod and a subdued smile, she stepped off the treadmill and removed a pair of tiny gel headphones from her ears.
"Hi, how's it going?" Jamie asked.
"Hi, Jamie." Miranda tucked the headphones into her pocket and wiped her face with a hand towel. The neck of her sleeveless tee shirt was wet with a ring of sweat.
"I'm glad you've found some time to work out." A sudden and wholly unexpected desire to press her lips to the velvety sheen of moisture on Miranda's neck and then to kiss the hollow beneath her ear, almost buckled Jamie's knees. With a dry mouth, she asked, "Has your work load settled down any?"
"Walk with me." Miranda led Jamie away from the treadmills where they could talk in private. "It's not as busy as it was at first. Either things have slowed down or I'm getting used to being here--or maybe both." Miranda shrugged her shoulders. "The passengers have been coming to the clinic with the usual stuff, but we've had some interesting things happen with the staff."
"What things, if it's all right for me to ask?"
Miranda nodded. "Last night, two of the crew members from the engine room got into a fight. Basically, they were behaving like drunken fools. I thought one of them had a broken nose, but he didn't and then I thought the other one had fractured his hand when he hit the wall, but he lucked out, too. It was just badly bruised."
"I guess God does watch out for drunks. What were they fighting about?"
"A woman. What else? Can you think of a better reason?" Miranda smiled, faintly, and shook her head. "I hope she was worth it because the Chief engineer said they'll probably lose their jobs. They ought to increase the price of drinks at the staff bar. Serving drinks that cheap just encourages the staff to drink more than they should."
"Hey, I like those prices." Jamie grinned.
Miranda laughed. "I know, but why do they have to get so drunk? I guess I just get tired of dealing with the aftermath of drugs, drinking and drama."
"I'm sure you do. You said you get drama too. What kind of drama?" Jamie asked.
"Well, take the day before yesterday, for example. One of the cabin maids accused her boyfriend of raping her--he's a cabin steward. Just as she was about to press charges, they made up and she dropped the whole thing. That same night, one of the waitresses came in with rug burns on her knees. She claimed one of the officers pushed her when she refused to go to bed with him. I handed that one right over to the captain."
"That sounds like a soap opera."
"True enough, only it's a reality show." Miranda downed a few swigs from her water bottle. "The day before yesterday, one of the kitchen crew threatened to kill himself by jumping overboard. He had a history of depression, so we put him off the ship when we docked in Naples and sent him home for psychiatric treatment."
"No kidding? I guess I had no idea what was going on around me." It hardly mattered to Jamie what she and Miranda talked about. She would willingly discuss fungal diseases of the big toe if it would buy her a few more minutes with the elusive doctor. "And you know how to deal with all of those situations?"
"I'm afraid I do. It may sound crazy to you, but I'm used to it."
"Well, I don't know how you do it."
"I just do it. It's no different than working in any city emergency room, only this is a floating city and we have to do things a little differently sometimes."
"Did you go ashore in Naples?" Jamie asked.
Miranda shook her head. "I couldn't leave the ship. Did you get to go?"
"Alicia and I went on the excursion to Capri. I don't usually go on the organized tours because they tend to be a tourist rip-off, but it's hard to get to Capri. Once the formal tour was over, they gave us some time to explore on our own. It was wonderful."
"So I've heard. I wish I could have gone." Miranda pointed her finger in the general direction of the stationary bikes and said, "If you want to keep on talking to me, you'll have to follow me around. I did come here to do the exercise routine you gave me, you know."
"Sorry, of course you did." Jamie walked by Miranda's side as they made their way toward the reclining bicycles, relieved that Miranda was being friendly toward her. "How about Santorini and Rhodes.
Did you go ashore to see either of them?" Jamie asked.
"No, but I'm going to Kusadasi tomorrow, with Toni, the nurse practitioner I told you about. I think you met her when she came to do the defibrillator training sessions for your staff. We're taking a guided tour of the ancient ruins and after that, we thought we'd walk around and do some shopping."
"I wish I could go ashore. I wanted to see some of Turkey and Kusadasi's one of the most popular ports of call, but I have to work. Maybe I can see it on the next cruise. I got off in Rhodes, though and it was great. They have beautiful beaches but we decided to see the sites instead. I think lying on the beach is a waste of time."
"I agree. I'd much rather see the sites." Miranda got herself situated on one of the bicycles, adjusted the seat, draped her towel over the handle bar and pressed the buttons to start her program.
Jamie stood in front of the cycle and searched inside for the courage she needed to ask the next question. A question she knew she shouldn't ask. "Miranda, I have to get back to work. Are you supposed to sit with the captain or anyone special at dinner tonight? I thought maybe you and I could have dinner, wherever you want. I'd love to talk to you some more without all these distractions."
"I'm sorry, I can't tonight. I'm having dinner with the nurses."
Jamie absorbed Miranda's answer, a plain and simple one. Miranda offered nothing further in the way of an explanation. She expressed no words of regret, no desire to talk to Jamie and no alternative plans or future promises. Disappointed, yet not easily deterred, Jamie persisted in spite of a warning voice in the back of her mind. "Are you getting off the ship in Athens the day after tomorrow? I am. I can't wait to see the ancient ruins. I hear the guides are great and it's one of the best tours on the entire cruise."
"As a matter of fact, I am, and I'm also looking forward to it. That's one port of call I don't want to miss." Miranda's pace had reached a demanding level and she sounded out of breath as she spoke.
Jamie wanted to ask Miranda to spend the day with her in Athens but she hesitated long enough to review the possibilities in her mind. She had no reason to believe Miranda would accept her invitation and every reason to believe she'd turn her down, but in spite of that very rational conclusion, she opened her mouth and asked, "Are you going with anyone?"
"No. It's Guy's day off and he's going with his girlfriend."
"Would you like to go with me?" Jamie braced herself for the answer.
Miranda stopped peddling and stared at Jamie as if amazed by her doggedness. "Look, I'm not sure what you have in mind, but..."
"Wait just a minute, I don't have anything in mind, I just like you. Is that a crime? I'd like to spend some time with you and I'd rather not go alone. What's wrong with that?"