It didn’t matter that there was enough military personnel there to make it a funeral for an American hero, or that three past presidents stood side by side, tears in their eyes. It didn’t matter anymore. Because he wasn’t here, he wasn’t living, breathing. The pomp and circumstance were empty. They were celebrating a life lived—one cut too short by any standard.
A life that should still be here.
It wasn’t a happy ending.
Not for Ronan.
All Brittany wanted to do was ask why.
But the only answer she got was life.
Life.
There was no why in life, only free will, decisions built on other life-altering choices.
And life.
Tears streaked down her face as they lowered the casket into the ground, and her heart broke all over again. Not for herself, though she was in mourning for what could have been.
No, her heart was broken over the fact that the first time Chrissy saw her father with the knowledge of who he was—was while burying him.
And Brittany wanted nothing more than for her daughter to know the good things Ronan had done, not the abandonment, but the fight he’d given on the Senate floor, the way he moved in rooms and commanded a crowd.
His legacy deserved something more than Brittany’s sadness over everything that had transpired between them.
And Chrissy deserved to know that her dad, to most people, even most times to Brittany, was an American hero.
“Let us pray.” The pastor held open his hands, a Bible in his right, his left palm facing the crowd as if he were blessing everyone during such a devastating time.
Reporters were suddenly stoic.
Dane hadn’t blinked, just stared down at the casket as if it weren’t real. She knew they’d been friends; he’d helped Ronan get elected, after all. And Ronan had helped Dane gain control of the darker parts of the city.
And now, he was gone.
Dane’s gaze flicked to Brittany—it was out of character for him to stare at anyone too long—and then he gave her a two-finger salute.
It was something that Ronan had always done to her when he said goodbye, and it only occurred to her then.
He hadn’t done it last week.
Had he known?
Somewhere in his gut?
In his soul?
Had he felt that something would happen?
She’d turned back around.
She’d felt like they had no time; he’d felt the same. The entire conversation had taken place in the past tense as if they didn’t have a chance for a future, and she wondered if that was one final gift that God had given them.
The gift of a final goodbye.
Of reconciliation.
That even in the darkest moments of a person’s life—there was a chance for peace, for the human soul to find rest, even in pain.
There was always a way out.
An opportunity.
A window instead of a door.
She nodded to Dane, and then she was following the family as they all dropped rose petals onto the casket. She wasn’t sure why the family had included her in their seating arrangement.
The same family that had sent her a restraining order.
Her tears mixed with the petals as they dropped in rapid succession onto the casket, one, two, three. Goodbye.
Memories of Ronan’s laugh assaulted her.
His kiss.
His promises of forever.
The smell of his cologne.
“If you could do anything for the rest of your life, what would you do?” They danced under the stars, near their blanket in Central Park and the Chinese takeout she could barely afford.
Ronan stilled and then looked up at the sky. “I’d be up there. I’d fly and fly and fly.” He spread his arms wide while she hugged his chest. “There’s freedom in flying.”
“Yeah.” She hugged him. “There really is.”
Brittany lowered to her knees, probably breaking protocol for this sort of thing, and reached her hand over the mahogany then released the crumpled piece of paper with their daughter’s footprints on it and the pieces of rose dust that accompanied it. “Fly, Ro, fly.”
She stood, lifted her head to the stormy sky, and imagined him there, happy. Free. Oliver grabbed her hand and held her close while Chrissy did the same on her other side.
“Let’s go home.” Brittany kissed her daughter’s head as they slowly made their way out of the crowd, only to come face-to-face with Nancy.
Out of the corner of her eye, Brittany saw Oliver tense. Both Roger and Dane weren’t far away, and Grace looked ready to march over and throw words like daggers.
Nancy held up her hand. “I’m not here to fight.” Her expression was softer than normal. She dabbed under her eyes, adjusting her dark sunglasses before turning to Chrissy. “You have his presence.”
“Really?” Chrissy asked in a choked-up voice. “I wish I knew…” She shook her head, clinging with a sweaty hand to Brittany’s palm.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this life. God knows that, so does the rest of the world.” Nancy held out her hands to Chrissy. “But I would like to know my granddaughter, if her mother will let me.”
“It’s what he would have wanted,” Brittany said, her voice thick with emotion.
Nancy nodded and then leaned in and kissed Brittany on both cheeks, followed by the same gesture to Chrissy.
“We’ll set up a lunch.” Nancy released their hands, and her fake smile was back, her ungenuine presence, but Brittany couldn’t find it within herself to be upset.
It was a small step.
And she knew, somewhere up in the sky, Ronan was smiling.
“I can’t believe he’s gone.” Zoe clung to Dane’s hand as they walked around the small restaurant everyone had decided to head to after the funeral. Brittany had changed her mind on heading home, and Zoe wondered if it had to do with the fact that they all needed a little bit of normalcy after the past few days.
The flat-screen TV in the corner of the grill lit up with reports of the sex trafficking ring, right along with Frederick’s face and then later with video of the funeral they’d just left.
“It’s real when it makes the news,” Dane whispered and then let out a sigh, pulling her in for a hug. “Do you think people can possibly comprehend the things that guy did for our country? The countless hours he worked through the night on the Senate floor? Do you think they have any inkling of the sacrifices he made? They mourn a man they didn’t know. Politicians have a thankless job, if you ask me.”
“Hmmm.” Zoe turned to face him, still clinging to his massive body, finally finding peace in the faint smell of whiskey and peppermint. “So, is that why you went all Robin Hood?” She adjusted his tie and pressed her palms to his chest. “You would have made a great politician yourself. Instead, you linger beneath the city, controlling every single person, every little thing, using your words, your secrets, your money to wield power.”
The corners of his mouth lifted in an amused grin. “You realize I’m taking everything you said as a compliment, right?”
She rolled her eyes, unable to help the smile that accompanied the gesture. “Would you rather nobody remembered you? Would you rather they give you a funeral like that?” The idea of anything happening to him suddenly hit her so hard and fast that she couldn’t suck in enough air.
“Hey.” Dane gripped her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t need that. I’ve never needed accolades or attention. Do you know why I moved to the city? Why I sold properties and businesses and fought to build an empire?”
She nodded. “To watch over Danica.”
“Danica never needed me,” he said softly.
“But…” Zoe narrowed her eyes. “You’re not making sense. I mean, we barely knew each other when—”
“When you walked into the Pizza Hut with a backward Yankee hat on, a white T-shirt, and jeans that were so tight I almost covered you up with my jacket? Y
ou had the most confident walk, the look on your face was almost as arrogant as mine, and all I kept thinking was that I would never forgive myself if I stayed in Jersey because you weren’t even eighteen and already had the world eating out of the palm of your hand. Because when I first saw you, I saw my equal in every way. And then when I got to know you, I realized I would never deserve you, so I wanted to do everything in my power to protect you and be what you needed me to be, even when you didn’t know you needed it—”
Zoe cut him off with a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck as she clung to him for dear life, tears in her eyes threatening to cascade down her cheeks. He kissed her back, tasting like fine whiskey and all man. His lips parted, taking her in, reveling in her, loving her in a way he always had.
The only way he knew how.
“You love me,” she whispered against his mouth.
“More than you’ll ever know.”
“You’ve always loved me.”
“I always will,” he vowed and then wiped away a tear from under her left eye. “Next to doing all those dirty and dangerous things that nobody will remember me for at my funeral, it’s my only purpose in this life.”
Zoe sniffled and then punched him in the arm. “I’ll remember you.”
Dane smiled and then slowly dropped to both knees. “Marry me. Not because of a contract, not because I’m trying to lord it over you, but because if I die tomorrow, I want no regrets between us, no missed conversations, no missed hellos and goodbyes. Marry me because I love you. Because I’ve always loved you.”
Her friends went silent around her, suddenly realizing that Dane was on his knees proposing after Ronan’s funeral.
Zoe burst into tears for the third time in her entire life and yelled out, “Yes!” Just as her friends cheered around her.
And when Brittany walked over to hug them both, she whispered so only they could hear. “He would have loved this.”
“I know.” Dane nodded. “I figured it was right since he helped me pick out the ring.” Overhead lights flashed off a frosty blue-white diamond big enough to skate on. It was perfect.
“What?” Brittany gaped. “What do you mean he helped you pick out the ring?”
“He had connections.” Dane shrugged and then winked. “Keep your enemies close and all that. We may have looked like we were in a power struggle, but Ronan knew he owed me a debt for the rest of his life.”
Brittany was silent, and then her eyes widened while Zoe tried to figure out what Ronan could possibly have owed Dane.
“What am I missing?” Zoe asked.
Dane let out a sigh. “I was the one who helped put Chrissy up for adoption. Ronan knew that I’d gone to the hospital, put two and two together, and tried to get information from me. I refused to give him anything, but I made him a promise.”
Zoe noticed Chrissy start to make her way over to them, along with Oliver, who had his arm wrapped protectively around her. Already, he was acting like a father, the man she needed in her life right now, in this moment.
“What promise?” Brittany put her hand on Dane’s arm while Zoe waited. Everlee had managed to make it over with a big grin that she quickly lost when she noticed Brittany’s pale face and sullen demeanor.
Dane cleared his throat. “I’ve always protected you three. At first, it just happened. And then it turned into a part-time job when you all started landing campaign after campaign—luckiest guy on Earth having to keep creeps from stalking all of you.” He locked eyes with Brittany. “It was only natural to check on Chrissy, and when her parents died in that car crash, and she had to live with her aunt and uncle, I had my guys send her information on a Fresh Faces contest. I knew she’d win, and I knew that more than anything… she needed her mom.”
Brittany covered her mouth with her hands. “Why would you keep that from me?”
“Why does it matter? She’s here, safe, happy. Reunited.”
“I can’t decide if you really are the devil or just a nice person under all of this.” Zoe rolled her eyes at Dane. “Seriously? Talk about messing with people’s lives.”
“I’m controlling, I can’t help it.” He grinned down at Brittany. “For what it’s worth, I apologize for meddling… not that I need to. I know how much you needed this.”
“Oh, do you?” Brittany shook her head and sighed. “God finally gave you a second chance, and now you have his ear or something?”
“Nah, nothing like that.” Dane grinned. “Because your light’s back. That’s how I know.” He left the group gaping.
Zoe stared at Brittany, who stared back at her in shock.
Everlee wrapped her arms around both of them. “Funny, everyone wants a guardian angel, and God found it within himself to send us… that.” They all looked toward Dane, in head to toe black, looking every inch the crime boss who had too much power and time on his hands.
“Well.” Zoe finally managed to find her voice. “According to Brittany, he works in very mysterious ways.”
“True.” Everlee nodded as a tear fell down her cheek. “Sorry.” She swiped it. “I’m just… still trying to wrap my head around everything with Frederick, Marnie, Jauq. I just… I feel like I lost years of my life. And for what?” She dropped her arms and touched her stomach.
Zoe’s chest ached.
It wasn’t fair.
Two friends were dead, Everlee had lost her baby and her husband all within two weeks of each other, and the girl who Zoe had at one point been jealous of was left with an empty apartment and a husband in jail.
“Hey.” Zoe nudged her. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Is it?” Everlee sniffed. “How do I know?”
“Well…” Zoe looked to Brittany for help and almost gasped because Dane was right, her light was back. “I think that’s where faith comes in.”
“Did you hit your head?” Brittany teased.
Zoe just grinned. “No, but I’d like to think that I’ve realized something after this year. We never would have survived this without you and your faith. So, maybe there’s something to be said about all those prayers, Bible thumper.”
Brittany burst out laughing and pulled both girls in for a hug. Zoe rested her head against Everlee’s and squeezed her tight.
“It’s going to be okay,” Zoe said, locking eyes with Brittany as they hugged their friend.
Brittany smiled. “It is. It really is.”
1 Month Later
“There’s something I think you’ll want to see.” The chief brought Dane into the back room. “There were a few things in Marnie’s apartment, one thing in particular we thought was strange. A folder of Danica’s things.”
Dane narrowed his eyes. “What sort of things?”
“Pictures, notes, journals, all of her findings when it came to the sex trafficking and pornography. She was watching them, obviously, knew what was going on, but that’s not what I thought you’d want to see.” The chief gave Dane a sad smile. “Just look on top of the first page. I’ll give you a few minutes.”
The minute the door closed, Dane opened up the folder and stared down at the piece of paper written in his sister’s handwriting. A document he knew well.
It was the girls’ checklist for their perfect happily ever after.
The one the girls had come up with, the one they had made each other sign when they said they’d found their person.
The name Jauq was scribbled in and then crossed out.
And written in at the bottom was: Myself, I finally love and choose myself. I don’t need him, or anyone, to give me my happily ever after. I already have it.
And taped below that was a picture of the four girls laughing.
Dane knew the picture well.
Because he was the one who had taken it.
“Be well, Danica,” he whispered, staring down at her smiling face.
He left the precinct with a grin on his face, though it was a sad one. His sister’s case was finally closed, and he liked to think that maybe her spirit
was finally at peace.
He made it back to the apartment in minutes.
And then he watched her.
His new wife as she unpacked box after box, cursing when things looked broken, and talking to herself as if she didn’t have an audience.
Dane’s chest swelled with pride. Zoe was his, he was hers. And even though things would always be messy and most likely confrontational with both of them constantly butting heads—he knew it was perfect.
It was everything.
Love wasn’t cut and dried, and if you couldn’t fight for something, that meant a person didn’t deserve to have it in the first place. At least in Dane’s book.
He’d fight for the rest of his life to deserve her.
“Stop staring. It’s creepy,” Zoe said, not looking up from the photo album she’d just pulled from a large, brown box. “At least your lurking is getting better.”
“Lurking sounds… like the least sexy thing a man could be doing. You get that, right?”
“And yet, here you are…” She grinned and then looked up at him and gave him a wink.
“That’s it.” He took two steps toward her, three. She let out a playful scream as he pulled her to her feet and tossed her over his shoulder, making a beeline for the master bedroom.
“Put me down.”
“Done.” He tossed her onto the bed and laughed when she bounced up and then launched herself at him. He caught her by the waist and devoured her mouth with a punishing, happy kiss. She moaned against his lips as he tugged the sweater up and over her body and tossed it to the floor. “I love you.”
She clung to him, her lips moving against his as she breathed against his mouth. “I love you, too.”
“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.”
“Mmm.” She reached for his pants and winked. “Talking time is done for now.”
“Thank God.”
“My poor, celibate husband…”
“Because I was yours, I’ve only ever been yours.”
Tears filled her eyes as they kissed again and again, the minutes fading into the hour, the caresses making his chest ache in ways that were unfamiliar for a man like him.
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