by Jon Fosse
It’s you, it can’t be, she says
and I look up and see the woman with the medium-length blonde hair standing in front of me holding the edge of the table and I know that I’ve seen her before, but I can’t quite remember when it was, where it was
Don’t you remember me? she says
and I try as hard as I can to recall who she is
Silje, she says
and she laughs
You really don’t remember me? she says
Not even my name? she says
and the woman who says her name is Silje looks at me almost amazed, and then she says that she thinks about me a lot, she’s often hoped we’d run into each other, it’s been so long, but I was married then, wasn’t I? and she didn’t know where I lived, all she knew was that my name was Asle, she says
And now here you are, sitting right in front of me, she says
At last, she says
I almost can’t believe it, she says
It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, she says
You remember me, right? she says
You weren’t that drunk, were you? she says
And you came to my place a bunch of times, she says
and I start to see before my eyes a small apartment, a sofa, a bookshelf, some photos on the walls, and, no I don’t want to think about that
You must remember me, don’t you remember? she says
My place in The Lane? she says
Ground floor, she says
and I don’t say anything and I see that I’ve finished eating my open-faced sandwich, I sure was hungry, that went down quick, I think and I put the knife and fork down on the plate next to each other
Anyway it’s great to see you again, she says
and I nod, I drink my coffee, empty the mug, and then I say I’m afraid I have to go, there’s something I need to do, I say and I wave to The Bartender and scribble in the air with my hand and he nods to me and then she says I really should come and see her, she still lives where she did before, number 5, The Lane, ground floor, she says, and she says surely I remember her? I can’t have been that drunk all the time? and I must remember that she was with me at The Country Inn too? she, Silje, or whatever her name was, maybe it was something else? was it maybe Guro? yes, she’d even slept in the same bed with me at The Country Inn, she says, and she remembers it, yes, even though it was a long time ago, even though I had medium-length brown hair back then worn loose and not the grey hair tied back with a hairband I have now, she says and she laughs and she says she even remembers my birthday, because I told her my birthday so she could calculate my lucky number, she says and she asks if I remember what my number was and I say I need to go and she says it was eight, or four times two, and then she says she’d be happy to see me if I came by sometime and The Bartender comes over and I take the bill he’s handing me and I take out my wallet and take a note out and hand it to him and I say that’s fine and he says thank you and I get up and then I push my chair in and she lets go of the edge of the table and I see that she’s not too steady on her feet and I say I need to go, I’m actually in a real hurry, I say and she says she knows my name is Asle and that I’m an artist, and she knows more than that, she says, because every single year during Advent she goes to the show I have up at The Beyer Gallery, she says and she falls silent and suddenly she gets a kind of dreamy look in her face and then she says that it was so long ago but ever since the first time we met she’s seen all of my shows in Bjørgvin, and she’s often wanted to buy a picture, but she couldn’t afford it, yes, she thinks my pictures are really great, she says and I say have a good night and she says she’d be happy if I dropped by sometime, number 5, The Lane, that’s where she lives, surely I remember? I was never that drunk, she says
Silje, she says
and she laughs and puts a hand on my back
Or maybe it was Guro? she says
But The Lane, number 5, you remember that much? she says
And so my name is Guro, she says
and I say I have to go now but it was nice to see her and I hear her say something but I can’t quite catch what it is and then she says good night and I say thanks same to you and then I leave and I think now I need to go back to The Clinic and get the keys to Asle’s apartment, because his dog can’t be left there by himself, and I can take care of the dog while Asle’s sick, I need to tell Asle that, I think, and I think I’ll find my way to The Clinic, it’ll be fine, I wasn’t walking for long before I came to Food and Drink so it’ll be easy to just go the same way in the opposite direction, I think, standing there in the snow on the pavement outside Food and Drink and I think I should go straight, in one direction or another, so now it’s only a matter of picking the right direction, I think, and when I was coming here I was on the other side of the street, and when I saw the sign saying Food and Drink I crossed the street, that’s what happened, I think, so now I obviously just need to cross the street and go straight, that must be right? I think and I think that it’s good it’s stopped snowing, it’s easier to find your way when you can see where you’re going, obviously, I think and I cross the street and I go straight and it’s not snowing now but for some reason or another I almost always go the wrong way, I think, I don’t know why, even if I know the way very well I somehow always manage to get it wrong, it’s like with numbers, whatever I’m supposed to do with them goes wrong, I don’t know why, I always add wrong and I always walk the wrong way, so the best thing to do would be to take a taxi, if one comes, I think, because I need to go to The Clinic and get the keys to Asle’s apartment because his dog is still there, and he, Bragi, can’t stay there alone so I need to go get the dog, I think and once they give me Asle’s keys I need to get back to my car in front of The Beyer Gallery and then drive out to the building in Sailor’s Cove where Asle’s apartment is and get the dog, Bragi, and then I need to drive back and park the car in front of The Beyer Gallery and then I need to go to The Country Inn and check into a room, I think, so first things first I need to get back to The Clinic, I think and the moment I think it I see a taxi and I stick out my hand and it stops and I open the door and get in and I say I’m going to The Clinic and The Taxi Driver says yes, that’ll be no problem, it’s not far, he can get me there no problem, he says and I say don’t know my way around Bjørgvin too well and The Taxi Driver says that’s all right, if I don’t he does, he says and then neither of us says anything and he drives and practically as soon as he starts driving I see the sign that says Clinic and The Taxi Driver stops by the entrance and I pay and I say that wasn’t a long way and he says well a ride is a ride, he says and I get out of the taxi and I’m a little embarrassed, I didn’t think we were that close to The Clinic, it was maybe a block away and I took a taxi, which is almost crazy, I think, and I go into The Clinic and now the entrance is empty again and I go over to the reception and the woman there is the same woman as before and I go straight to the window and the woman sitting there recognizes me and she slides the window open and I ask about him, yes, Asle, yes, and she says they transferred him to The Hospital almost immediately, she says, so if I want to see him I have to go to The Hospital, she says and I ask, I don’t know quite why, if she’s been on duty a long time and she looks at me and smiles a slightly tired smile and says it’s been a long shift, yes, because the woman who was supposed to relieve her couldn’t come because of a sick child and they didn’t find anyone else to substitute and so she said she could stay on duty until they found someone else and the woman who’s supposed to relieve her is on her way now, she says, and gosh it’ll be good to get some sleep, she needs to go to sleep, and sleep well, when she gets home she’s going to sleep, just sleep, she says and I look outside and I see the taxi I came in still parked by the entrance to The Clinic and I say if I hurry I can maybe take the taxi that’s there to The Hospital and she says yes it’s still there, the taxi, and I say goodbye and she says thank you at the same time and then I hurry outside and open the rear door of the taxi a
nd I ask if it’s still available
Yes, sure, The Taxi Driver says
That was a quick visit, he says
Everything’s quick with you isn’t it, he says
and I ask him to take me to The Hospital, because the man I wanted to see has been transferred there, I say
It must be serious then, The Taxi Driver says
Serious? I say
Yes, the only people who get transferred to The Hospital are the ones in really bad shape, he says
and then I get into the taxi and I think yes, he truly was in bad shape, yes, Asle collapsed several times and I found him lying in the snow, covered in snow, there in The Lane, there in front of number 5, and wasn’t that where Silje or Guro or whatever her name was said she lived? or was that number 3, The Lane? yes I think it probably was, and what a strange coincidence, I think, and Asle was shaking so badly, his whole body was shivering, I think and it was so lucky, so lucky that I drove back to Bjørgvin, and actually it’s a total mystery why I did it, I think, since I’d already driven to Bjørgvin and back earlier, but this uneasiness or whatever you want to call it just came over me, and if I hadn’t found Asle he might still be lying under the snow and shaking, no, no, that’s not true, someone else would probably have found him, there are plenty of people in Bjørgvin, someone or another is always out and about, I think and I hear The Taxi Driver say he hopes there’s no more snow tonight, but at least the people who’re supposed to keep the streets clean have done their job for once, both the main roads and the side streets have been ploughed well, he says, they don’t usually get it done so fast, he says and I don’t say anything and then The Taxi Driver stops talking too and we start driving and there’s not much traffic and the taxi pulls over in front of The Hospital and stops by the entrance and I pay and say thanks for the ride and I go into The Hospital and I see the reception desk and I go over to it and the woman sitting there looks up at me drowsily and I tell her my name and say that I’m here to see Asle and she says we have the same name and she says yes well she’ll see where he is and she flips through her papers a little and then she looks me, she looks long and hard at me, and she asks what I said his name was and then she says ah yes Asle yes and then she pages through the pile of papers sitting in front of her
Asle, yes, I say
Asle, that’s right, she says
and she turns more pages
Yes your Namesake was admitted, tonight in fact, she says
Can I see him? I say
No, not now, she says
and she looks down and I felt something give a little start inside me, because his dog, Bragi, his dog can’t be left alone, I have to go get his dog
Is he seriously ill? I say
Yes I should say so, she says
and then she says he was admitted tonight, not long ago, and that he’s seriously ill, yes, she says, and she says that I’m listed as a relative and I say we’re old friends but I’m just a friend, but it was me who brought him to The Clinic, I say
But does he have a family? she says
Yes but he lives alone, I say
and I say that he’s divorced, he was married twice, and that neither of his ex-wives and none of his children live in Bjørgvin any more, but he has a dog, and his dog is alone in his apartment, and the dog can’t be left alone there and she nods and says so he’s divorced and he has three children
Divorced twice, I say
Three children, I say
and I say that I know he doesn’t have much contact with either ex-wife or any of the children, but still, it’s his dog I’m thinking of, he, the dog, Bragi’s his name, can’t be left alone in the apartment, someone has to go get him and take care of him
Someone needs to look after his dog, I say
Of course, she says
Can I have the keys so I can get the dog, walk him, and take care of him until Asle’s able to do it himself? I say
I can’t give you the keys to his apartment, she says
and then she says that he has children, and I’m just a friend
But the children don’t live in Bjørgvin, I say
The oldest son lives in Oslo and the two others live somewhere in Trøndelag, I say
and I say that he’s not in contact with either of his ex-wives and he’s barely in contact with his children, just a little with the oldest son, The Boy he calls him, but The Boy lives in Oslo, I say and I think there’s no way she’s going to give me the apartment keys and I think what in the world am I going to do then? will I have to break into his apartment? because the dog, Bragi, can’t stay there alone, I think, and now she doesn’t want to give me the keys, I think and I see her pick up a telephone and she dials a number and then she says something about seriously ill and someone who’s asking about him and he says there’s a dog alone in the apartment of the man who was admitted and then she looks at me and asks if there isn’t some super or custodian there and I say that there isn’t, not that I know of, I say and she nods and then she says into the phone that there isn’t a custodian where he lives and that I really want to go look after the dog, and there aren’t any close relatives in Bjørgvin who could do it, she says
The dog can’t just be left alone, I say
and she listens more and then says thank you, good, yes, she says and then she says that they’ve taken all his clothes, his sketch-pad, his keys, everything he had with him, and put them in a closet in the room where he is now but someone will go get the keys and then that person will drive me to the apartment and go in with me so I can get the dog, since she can’t give me the keys, because the rules are that she can only give the keys to a family member and I’m just a friend
Yes, I’m just a friend, I say
Right, she says
and she sighs and she says I can sit and wait for as long as it takes but it shouldn’t take too long, because someone’ll get the keys and then take me to the apartment to get the dog, yes, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened of course, she says, in fact they have a strict procedure for what to do, she says, and look, here he is already, she says and I see an older man come walking towards me and he says he’ll take me to pick up the dog, he says
Thanks, I say
and then I say thank you for your help to the woman sitting at the reception desk and then I go over to the older man and he doesn’t say anything and then we go out and get into a car and then the older man says that there’s been a lot of snow but he’s already brushed the snow off the car, he says, and I can hear that he’s from Bjørgvin and I say yes it certainly was coming down earlier and he says that this happens sometimes, someone’s admitted and they have a pet at home that someone needs to look after, but they’re usually not in a position to tell anyone about it themselves so then it’s some neighbour or another who calls and complains about a dog yapping and says it’s been yapping for days, that happens a lot, he says, and then a lot of the time it’s him who goes to get the pet, that’s part of his job, and he takes the pet to The Animal Rescue, or sometimes it’s a relative or neighbour or friend or someone who takes care of the pet, like I’m planning to do, the older man says and he says well, he’s a kind of handyman at The Hospital, he says, and I explain to The Handyman where Asle lives and he says he knows where that is, and that it’s not far, he says and then we sit there in silence and drive on and The Handyman stops and parks the car in front of the building where Asle’s apartment is, almost exactly where I parked earlier, and then we get out of the car and he unlocks the front door of the building and I say Asle’s apartment is on the second floor on the left and we go there and we hear the dog yapping and I say the dog is waiting by the door yapping and yapping and The Handyman says that’s quite a voice on that dog and I say that little dogs, and this is a little dog, I say, often have the loudest voices
Yes and of course they often bite people too, The Handyman says
Are you scared of dogs? I say
No, he says
and then he t
urns and then he says that he’s a little scared of dogs
It must be, well, it must be because a dog bit me once when I had to go get him, The Handyman says
And they often act very threatening, dogs, when I come to get them, he says
And when I’m alone I wear thick protective gloves, he says
and he holds out his hands
I can go in first, I say
If you wouldn’t mind, he says
I’ll unlock the door and then you open it and go in, he says
and then The Handyman stands there and fumbles with the keys and then unlocks the door and I open the door and go in and as soon as I’m in the hall the dog starts jumping up and down at my feet and he’s yapping and yapping and I feel around on the wall with my hand and find a switch and I turn on the hall light and I look down at the dog yapping and jumping around at my feet and then I bend down and pick up the dog and I hold him in my arms and I pet him on the back, I pet him and pet him and say good boy, good boy, Bragi, good boy Bragi, I say and the dog calms down and The Handyman comes into the hall behind me and I say I think I know where the leash is and The Handyman says we can’t stay in the apartment, we’re not allowed to, it’s not permitted, we have to just pick up the dog and leave, he says and I say I’ll just look for the leash and I know that it’s usually on the bureau a little way down the hall and I see the leash sitting there and I see that all the doors are shut, the one to the kitchen, the one to the living room, or the studio, and I say I should have used the bathroom earlier and The Handyman says well I can go ahead and do that, surely there’s nothing wrong with that, he says and I go into the bathroom and I find the light switch and I turn on the light and I see that everything is clean, everything smells clean and fresh, so Asle must have washed the floor and scrubbed the toilet and the sink, I think and I think no, if he’s cleaned everything so nicely maybe I should hold it in until I get to the room in The Country Inn, but the dog? I can’t just take the dog to The Country Inn with me? are people allowed to bring dogs to The Country Inn? I think, and no, I hadn’t thought of that, but, yes, well, the dog can probably sleep in my car, simple as that, and then tomorrow I’ll drive to Dylgja and I’ll bring the dog home with me of course, I think, and it’ll be nice to have a dog, actually I’ve always wanted a dog, but when I was little Mother didn’t want me to get one, and Ales didn’t want a dog either, and after Ales was gone, well, I sort of stopped thinking about how it might be nice to have a dog, but anyway now I’m going to have a dog for a while at least, I think, yes, when I wake up tomorrow morning I’ll have a little breakfast, I think, and as I think that I realize I’m hungry and I see in my mind the generous breakfast buffet at The Country Inn, fresh bread, scrambled eggs, bacon, some of the bacon is crispy and some of it’s still soft, and I have to admit I’m really looking forward to breakfast because that ground-beef open-faced sandwich, it was good, but it wasn’t exactly filling