by Jon Fosse
Soon there’ll be more people driving to The Co-op Store to do their shopping than walking, Father says
Just about, Mother says
Plus we could take car trips, she says
We could drive out to Haugaland, and Vika on Hisøy, to visit my parents, she says
And my brothers and sisters, and nieces and nephews, she says
Yes, Father says
and then he doesn’t say anything else
A car’s expensive, he says then
You work all the time, you must make some money, and if other people can buy a car why can’t we? she says
But people are paying less and less for boats, most people want plastic boats now, and there’s less work to do on a plastic boat, so it’s harder and harder to sell wooden boats, for a good price anyway, and I don’t get paid as much for the fruit either, that gets lower prices too now that there’s so much imported fruit, Father says
But you work so hard, you’re always busy doing something, Mother says
and then she says that other people, other people who work a lot less than he does, they have driving licences and cars, she says
A driving licence isn’t free either, Father says
and then they don’t say anything else
But yes, we’ll get a car sooner or later, Father says
Well I’m really looking forward to it, Mother says
It would be nice, Father says
and I’ve driven past Åsleik’s farm, and the roads are well cleared, like always, because as soon as any snow falls there’s Åsleik with his tractor, I think, and it’ll sure be nice to get back home, I think and I turn off of the country road and I drive up my driveway, and Åsleik has cleared that too, I think, as soon as it snows up comes Åsleik clearing the snow with his old tractor, I think and I stop in front of the door and I stay sitting in the car and I breathe slowly out and I think that it feels so good to be back home, back home in Dylgja, back to my good old house, I think and I get out of the car and then open the passenger door and pick up Bragi and then put him down in the snow and he runs around in the snow and jumps here and there and then he lifts his leg and lets out a yellow stream and he makes what looks like a black hole in the snow but there’s yellow and when he’s done he starts running around and around in the powdery snow and I call him and Bragi stops and he stands there and looks stubbornly at me and I think so I finally got myself a dog, I think and then I say come on Bragi and then he comes trotting over to me and I go into my house with Bragi at my heels, and then I go into the main room and then out to the kitchen, still with Bragi at my heels, and I run some water into a bowl and I put the bowl down in the corner behind the hall door and Bragi is there in a flash and he drinks and drinks and then I get another bowl and I slice a piece of bread and tear it into pieces and then I put the bowl of bread pieces down next to the other bowl and Bragi is there in a flash and he eats and eats, so he must have been really thirsty and hungry too, yes, I think, standing there looking at the water bowl and I see that Bragi has drunk up all the water and I refill the bowl and I put it back down and then I see that the food bowl is empty too and I slice another piece of bread and tear it into pieces and put them in the bowl, but now Bragi just sniffs at the bread and water a bit, he doesn’t touch it and then I go back into the main room with Bragi at my heels and I go and stand where I can look at the painting with the two lines crossing and even now, well into the daytime hours, it’s only half-light, or half-darkness, whatever you’d call it, I think and I see that the picture is shining, yes, even in the half-dark it’s now like there’s a light shining from almost the whole picture, and it’s impossible to understand, and yet I do understand, at the same time, that with these two lines I’ve made something, I’ve actually painted a good picture, in its way, in its own way, and I know that I won’t do anything more with this picture, and I think that I can sell this picture, but for a low price, for much too low a price, even though this might be one of the best paintings I’ve ever managed to paint, I think, one of the paintings with the most light in it, I think and I think I should keep this painting for myself, because if I sell it it’ll go away somewhere and then it’ll be gone, and then maybe it’ll be sold or given to someone else in turn, and I know I wouldn’t get much for this picture anyway, no one wants to pay much for a picture like this, not one painted by me anyway, I know that, so I should keep this picture for myself, because really, yes, even if this picture may be a failure in others’ eyes, and for all I know may actually be a bad picture, still it’s one where I’ve truly painted some of what I try to get into all of my pictures, I think, that something, that, that, yes, it can’t be said but maybe it can be shown, or almost shown, yes, whatever it is that can be captured in a picture somehow and shown rather than said, but not only in a painting, it can be shown at least as well in writing, in literature, I think, and this picture isn’t like the others I’ve painted, you can tell just from the canvas, because I usually like to paint the whole canvas white first instead of letting the canvas show through, that’s why I use so much white oil paint, I think and I think that I’m so tired now that the only thing to do, the only thing I want to do, is get a little sleep, I think and I hang up my brown shoulderbag on its hook between the bedroom door and the hall door and then I go out into the hall and hang up my black coat and I take off my shoes and then I go back into the main room and I take off my black velvet jacket and I hang it on the back of the chair to the left of the round table and then I go over to the bench that I have in a corner and I lie down, and even though it’s cold in the room, despite the electric heater that’s been on full-strength while I was gone, and even though I should light the stove I just lie on the bench and drape the grey wool blanket over me, the one Grandmother had when she was lying sick at home in The Old House and that she handed to me when they came to get her and drive her to The Hospice and that I took with me when I left home to go to The Academic High School and that’s stayed with me ever since, wherever I lived the blanket came with me, I think and I see Bragi come padding over and he hops up onto the bench with me and he lies down next to me and I spread the blanket over him too and then I stroke and stroke his fur, up and down, and Bragi presses against me and he’s good and warm and then I think well then I’ve got myself a dog and it really was good that Åsleik cleared the roads, yes, the main road and the driveway too, yes, how would I ever get by without Åsleik? without him and his old tractor? who else would clear the road up to my house? yes, I’d probably have to do what I did before, before I had the driveway built, park my car down on the main road and walk up, but it’s steep and it feels like a long walk especially when I’m carrying something so it was a real slog to carry everything up to the house, yes, a real slog, but it was all right, I managed that too, one way or another, before I had the driveway built, I think, but now as soon as any snow falls there’s Åsleik with his tractor, and he’s always home, except for the two days a year when he goes to see Sister in Øygna, right by Instefjord, for Christmas, I think and I tuck the blanket around me better and I lie there on the bench with Bragi tucked against me and I close my eyes and suddenly I start in fright, because I can clearly hear a screeching sound, the same sound, I think, and it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere right near me, right next to me, a screeching grinding sound, and it has to be coming from an old tractor, I think and I think that I don’t feel so tired any more, so I must have nodded off, I think, and now I need to get up and get some things done, I think, and now the screeching grinding noise is very near me, I think and I get up and Bragi gets up and he stands on the bench and looks at me, so, I have a dog now, yes, I think, and I’ve thought so many times about getting a dog but never done it, I think and I look at the chair I always sit in, on the left next to the round table, and I go and sit down in the chair and Bragi comes and jumps up and lies in my lap and I take my bearings, the top of the pine trees outside my house have to be exactly in the middle of the middle right pane of glass in t
he window, and then I look at the landmark I always look at, near the middle of the Sygne Sea, and I see waves and it makes me feel calm in a way to look at the same place, at my landmark, at the waves there, every time I fall into a kind of light doze that’s a bit like sleep but isn’t, maybe, I think, and then I notice that the room is cold, so I need to light a fire in the stove, but it’s always so sad and painful to do that, I usually put it off as long as I can until it’s so cold that I absolutely have to light the stove, I think, and now, yes, now the room’s cold enough that I really do have to light the stove, I think and then I pet and pet Bragi’s fur and I think now I’ll go light the stove, I think, and then there’s that noise, that screeching sound, that grinding, I think, but how can I just sit here like this so sluggish that I can’t even light the stove no matter how cold it gets in the room, I think and then I listen to that screeching grinding noise, and now it’s very close, and it’s unmistakable, that screeching grinding noise must be coming from Åsleik’s old tractor, I think, so now Åsleik’ll probably be standing outside the door any minute and knocking, I think, and that means it must have snowed more, I think and I look at the waves and I see Asle and Sister walking over to The Dairy, they’re walking hand in hand, and they’ve started walking so fast that they seem to want to get to The Dairy quickly and then right back home, I think and now I really need to stand up and light the stove, I think and then I hear that it’s fallen quiet, so Åsleik’s probably standing in front of the house now, I think and I hear Sister say that now that screeching grinding noise has disappeared and Asle says yes and Sister says that it was a terrible noise and I hear a knock at the door and I get up and I’d forgotten I had Bragi on my lap and he falls onto the floor when I stand up and he starts yelping loudly
Hush, I say
and Bragi just keeps yelping
Hush, I say
and now he’s barking in a loud and strong voice and so I pick Bragi up and I hold him in my arms and Bragi stops barking and I think that it was probably Åsleik at the door, my neighbour and friend, I think and I go out into the hall and I open the front door and I see that it’s snowed a lot since I got home and I see Åsleik standing there in his brown snowsuit with the brown fur hat with flaps over the ears down to his long grey beard
Did you get a dog? Åsleik says
That’s a surprise, he says
Is it a puppy? he says
and I say that I’m just watching the dog for someone I know in Bjørgvin, and he’s not a puppy, just a small dog, I say and Åsleik asks if I’m watching the dog for my Namesake and I say yes and Åsleik says that I’ve talked about getting a dog so many times that he thought I’d finally gone and done it
No, I say
and I put Bragi down and he barks a couple times at Åsleik who is holding out his fist to him and then the dog sniffs his hand and then he relaxes
His name’s Bragi, I say
That’s a good name for a dog, Åsleik says
and I see Bragi run out across the snow and he lifts his leg and then he stands there and pees
I cleared your driveway earlier today, Åsleik says
But then it started snowing again, he says
We don’t usually get so much snow in Dylgja, I say
Sometimes it’s years between snowfalls, he says
and then we stand there and I feel tired but I can tell that Åsleik’s in the mood to talk and I can’t very well not ask him in
You should come inside, I say
You don’t mind? he says
No, come in, I say
You waited a long time before inviting me in, he says
Please, you’re always welcome, I say
Well, he says
It’s cold standing in the door, I say
All right, Åsleik says
and then he says he has something for me and then he goes over to his tractor and he takes two shopping bags out of the driver’s cabin and he comes walking over to me holding up the bags
I have something here for you, he says
And I bet you can guess what it is, he says
and he hands me the bags and they give off a powerful smell of the best smoked lamb ribs and I see that one bag is almost full of sliced Christmas lamb ribs and in the other are lots of big pieces of lutefisk packed up well in their own plastic bags
Thank you, I say
Just the way it should be, Åsleik says
Glad to help, he says
Yes, thank you, I say
and then I stand there with a bag in each hand, and the weight feels heavy on both arms so Åsleik really must have filled the bags up, I think
I brought a lot this year, Åsleik says
Can you tell? he says
More than usual, he says
Yes, I can tell, I say
And I did it for a reason, Åsleik says
Yes, I say
and then there’s silence
And that is, Åsleik says
Yes, I say
It’s because this year I want a bigger picture to give Sister as a Christmas present, he says
She has enough small ones, he says
You’ve always given me one of the small ones, he says
I was almost starting to think you’d paint a bunch of small pictures just to make sure you could give me one, Åsleik says
and I hear what he’s saying and now that I think about it maybe he’s right? could I maybe have been doing that? but I’ve painted hardly any small pictures recently, I have just a few, four or five maybe, so it’s fine to give Åsleik one of the bigger pictures, but the newest one, the one with the St Andrew’s Cross, no, he can’t have that one, that’s for sure, I’d rather he just take all his lamb and fish and go right back home, but no, that’s a bad idea, because Åsleik makes exceptionally good Christmas lamb ribs every year and his lutefisk tastes exceptionally good too, not to mention the dry-cured mutton he makes, but we still need to come to an agreement about which picture he’ll get, it’s just that Åsleik really understands pictures, he can see pretty much right away if it’s a good picture or a bad one, and he’s always picked out the best one, yes, the best of the small pictures he’s been choosing up until now, I think and then Åsleik says Sister has pictures of mine all over the house by now, in the hall, in the living room, in the stairwell, yes, he can’t think of anywhere she doesn’t have pictures I’ve painted, and she has three small pictures hanging over her sofa, but it would look nicer there with one big one, he says, so this year he would really like one of my bigger pictures, and I say that’s, that’s fine, because it’s true what he says, he’s always taken one of the smaller pictures, but I’d never thought about it before, even if what he’s saying is totally right, I say
Yes you can pick one of the big pictures this year, I say
and Åsleik says that he doesn’t want to be pushy, or rude, but he’d be grateful if he could take the picture with him today, because Christmas is coming soon and he has to wrap the painting in proper wrapping paper with pixies and angels and such, and he needs to put the nicest red ribbon he can around the package, and a little card that says For my dear sister Guro, he says, and, yes, well, he knows he’s asked me about this every year recently but it really would be great if I’d come with him to Sister’s to celebrate Christmas, it’s just the two of them so it would be nice for them if I came along, and of course it’s also always much nicer and safer to have two people in a boat than just one, he says, so it would be a great help to him as well as making him very happy if I’d come with and celebrate Christmas with Sister, way up in Sygnefjord, yes, it takes a whole short day to go to Øygna in The Boat, he says, but that’s what he’s done every year now for quite a few years, rowed there and rowed back, he says
You call her just Sister? I say
and I think why am I asking him that now
I guess I do, Åsleik says
Yes, I guess I’ve always called her just Sister, it’s true, Åsleik says
Yes, I say
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br /> But her name’s Guro, Åsleik says
Yes, I say
Guro, yes, he says
and then we stay standing silently
But, please, come in, I say
and Åsleik says thank you and he comes into the hall and I call Bragi and he comes running right into the hall and then he stands there on the floor and shakes the snow off himself and snow flies in all directions and I shut the front door and Åsleik says he can’t go tracking snow into my living room, or studio, as it’s called, or whatever it is, in his boots, so if it’s all right he’ll just take off his boots and pick out a picture today, yes, that would be great and I say yes, yes of course, he should just come right in, he’s always welcome, I say and Åsleik says then in that case he should probably take off his snowsuit too, even though it’s a bit of a hassle, he says and then he takes off his boots and fur hat and then unzips the front of his snowsuit and starts twisting and turning and he says this coat is a real pain but it always keeps you warm, it really does, he says