“You said you weren’t sure anyone can stay home with their kids anymore. Do you really think that?”
I️ handed her another balloon and kept working as I️ thought. “I️ don’t know. I️t doesn’t feel like a possibility anymore. At the same time, I️ don’t want to say that stay-at-home parenting is gone. I️ wished I️ could’ve stayed home with James, and I️ wonder what he missed out on because I️ couldn’t. Having experienced a divorce, though, there’s no way I’d stay home now.”
Rebecca looked over at James. He was blowing up the balloon he’d chased and letting it go. He looked like a normal kid. But who knows what effects going to a babysitter and daycare had? He had excellent care, but it wasn’t mine.
“Do you blame John?” Rebecca asked me.
“I️ blame Trudy. That way I️ badmouth the stepmom. It’s a time-honored tradition.”
“I️ don’t think James has suffered any adverse effects,” Rebecca said.
“What are you talking about?” Paul asked as he walked up behind Rebecca.
“Teacher-student stuff,” I️ said.
Paul glanced at Rebecca and cleared his throat. He stood up straighter again. “Are you giving her a Shakespeare insult cheat sheet?”
“That’s a great idea,” I️ said. “Why are you here?”
“We’re finished with the chairs.” He snuck a glimpse at Rebecca.
I️ looked behind him and saw Tyler and Simon still putting up chairs. I️ looked back at Paul. “I️ feel as though that’s not a true representation of the situation.”
Paul put his hands in his back pockets. “Can I️ help with anything else over here?”
I️ handed him a roll of ribbon and a pair of scissors. “You need to cut ribbons so that the balloons can hover near the ceiling and the string comes down as a decoration. And long enough that we can easily pull all of these balloons down this evening.”
“I️ can do that,” Paul said.
I️ gave him a balloon and told him he had five minutes to cut one hundred ribbons because we were almost out of what we had cut before. He nodded at me and quickly glanced at Rebecca again.
I sighed. “Maybe I️’m too lax of a parent.”
“My mom said she had to pick her battles.”
“Your mom is brilliant. And Paul is helping me decorate for a party he isn’t going to. I count it as a win.”
“You have a great family. I’m not sure if it’s because you stayed home or if it’s because you got away from John and the kids only dealt with him fifty percent of the time.”
I pointed at her. “Good point.” I️ blew up balloons and handed them over to her. “I️ think I️ lucked out with some good kids.”
“But you’re great with them and that helps. Is John good with them?”
As if he knew his name had been mentioned, John walked into the gym. This time, I️ didn’t let go of the balloon I️ was blowing up. I️ swore under my breath.
“He really doesn’t take a hint, does he?” Rebecca asked.
I heard Paul swear under his breath as well. Both of us needed to spend more time with Shakespeare. Simon kept setting up chairs, but his eyes were on John.
I filled up another balloon as I️ asked, “Why are you here John?”
John saw the boys and Simon. I’m not sure why John had originally come, but I️ could see by the look on his face he was changing his reasoning before our eyes.
“I wanted to come and help,” John said.
“Seriously.” I still didn’t look at him. “Do you not have a job anymore?”
“I’m working nights.” John rubbed his hands together. “So put me to work.”
I backed away from the helium tank. “You need to fill up 200 balloons and knot them.”
“Isn’t she” he said, pointing to Rebecca “knotting them?”
“She was, but now that we have your help, she can tie ribbons, and I can go fix the tablecloths and put more bows on chairs. It’ll be a great team effort.”
“How will it be a team if you aren’t anywhere near me?”
“Sometimes you have to be apart in order to work as a team.” I stood closer to him and said under my breath, “And she’s the only person here besides James that you can help without the possibility of physical injury.”
I walked away. John waited there for a couple of seconds, and then, to his credit, I guess, he started filling balloons. I walked around smoothing tablecloths as fast as I could. Once Simon and Tyler were finished with chairs, Simon came over and helped me. “Tyler, will you get the center pieces?” I asked. “They’re the logs bundled in threes. They stand up on a larger, thinner piece of wood.”
“What does a bunch of wood tied together have to do with the Oscars or Golden Globes?” Tyler asked as he grabbed a box and headed to a table.
“The ribbons are gold and the wood was free, and we didn’t want to spend money on stupid centerpieces that we’ll never use again.”
“You need to come up with a new theme,” Tyler said.
“Perfect. Okay, everyone. What is the theme for this evening?” I tried to whip Tyler with a tablecloth, but it was too big to twist into a rope and whip out. It opened up like a parachute and landed a little on his hand.
“It’s not going to be about how to make a whip out of a tablecloth, either,” Tyler said.
“Seriously. What could the theme be?” I went back to smoothing out tablecloths with Simon.
“A night of a thousand dreams?” Simon asked.
“Aah, that's sweet.” I put a centerpiece on a table.
“That's corny,” Paul said.
“You come up with something better,” I said, while waving a centerpiece at him.
“A night of a thousand regrets,” Paul said, looking at John.
“That might’ve hit the nail on the head,” Rebecca chimed in. Paul smiled.
“A night of a thousand balloons,” James said, trying to jump up and get a balloon.
“A night of a thousand hopes,” John volunteered.
I looked over at him. Paul gagged. “That’s just stupid. A thousand dreams is better than that and a thousand dreams is horrible.”
Simon winked at me. “Thanks Paul. That means a lot.”
“Anytime, Simon,” Paul said.
I laughed. “Come on Rebecca. This is your reunion. Name it.”
“What was homecoming this year?” she asked me.
I looked at Paul and Tyler. “Well?”
Paul thought for a moment. “It was something about sparkling nights.”
“I think that was it,” Tyler said. “There were a lot of small twinkling lights. I remember that. Are you going to have those twinkle lights?”
“We’re actually using the forms they built for homecoming,” Rebecca said. “I think we should tell everyone the theme is Twinkling Nights.”
“Sparkling Nights,” Paul emphasized the word ‘sparkling.’
“That works,” Rebecca said.
“But then how does the red carpet fit?” Tyler asked.
“You can never have too many red carpets,” I said. “And it was from last year’s senior prom. Most of these things are all from different dances over the years.”
“What if we just call it Leftovers through the Years?” Paul asked.
“That’s not very respectful,” John said.
“But pretty funny,” I stated.
“Thanks for the support.”
“Anytime.”
“This is where they get it from,” John said a little quieter.
I knew he wanted to goad me into an argument. Simon looked at me and winked. He knew it too. He also knew that part of me wanted to get into that argument because I knew I would win it. I’m very good at winning stupid arguments. Arguments I actually care about? Those are harder for me. I lifted my eyebrow at Simon, and he shook his head. “Not worth it,” he mouthed. I smiled. He was right, but sometimes it’s hard not to go for a slam dunk when the lane is wide open.
&n
bsp; Instead, I said, “Sparkling Nights it is. I'll write it on a poster board and James can cover it in glitter.”
“Yeah!” James shouted. He ran around yelling “I get to use glitter.”
“Does that not happen much?” Rebecca asked.
“No!” James shouted. “Mom doesn’t like glitter. She said she’s allergic to it.”
Rebecca laughed.
Simon and I finished with the centerpieces and then got the red carpet and rolled it out on a slight angle.
“We should’ve rolled it out before we’d put the tables down, so it could go along the tables instead,” Simon said.
“As Paul pointed out, it doesn’t really go with the theme, so it doesn’t really matter anyhow.”
“What else do you need to get done today?” John asked.
“We have to set up the twinkle light stands and get the food. But you don’t need to worry about it because you still have 190 balloons to fill. Are you working tonight?”
John just nodded. I wasn’t sure if he was saying yes or if he just wasn’t listening but trying to pretend he was. I wanted to ask again but decided it may give him ideas. Whatever he said didn’t matter anyway. I knew I couldn’t count on him.
18
Two hours later, there were gold and silver balloons floating near the ceiling, gold and silver bows on the backs of the chairs, and twinkling lights at the entrance and by the stage. I thought there would be more, but Paul said the Christmas dance committee had taken a few of the light strands and he didn’t know what happened to them. Paul and Tyler reassured me that what we had done was just as good as any high school student dance committee would have done. I took this as high praise and hoped I’d never see any of these former students again.
Rebecca had bought battery-powered tea lights to put on top of each bundle of logs. Somehow, with all of the lights and silver and gold, the decorations actually blended together. The red carpet didn’t fit with the theme, but we decided it was a nice accent. We set up four rectangular tables along the side of the gym and put gold and silver table cloths on them.
It was time to get ready. I told Rebecca that I would pick up all of the food, because I didn’t care as much about what I looked like as she did. Simon offered to pick up some of it as well because he only had to put on a tie, and he’d be ready.
“That’s why life will never be fair,” Rebecca said. “I’m going to spend an hour getting dressed tonight and once I do everything I can, I’ll look in the mirror and tear myself apart.”
“You’ll look amazing,” Simon said.
“It still isn’t fair,” I said. “To even it out, I’m not shaving my legs.”
“Like that’s anything new,” John said then laughed. He looked around but no one joined in with him. “Just kidding.”
“Who cares?” I said. “Paul, Tyler and James, you are now officially off the hook for the rest of the day. Use your time wisely.” I hadn’t finished my sentence before they were out the door. James gave John a hug and Tyler waved at him. Paul just walked out.
“That's what I mean,” John said. “He needs to be encouraged to spend time with me.”
“Let’s start with waving,” I said.
John pointed at me. “That kind of attitude isn’t helping.”
I pointed back. “You’re really bad at getting on a person’s good side, aren’t you?”
“Just yours, I guess.”
“Well, you are officially off the hook the rest of the day as well. Although, come to think of it, I’m not really sure why you came in the first place. We got things done faster with an extra set of hands, so thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” John stared at me as if he was waiting for me to say more.
“Thank you and good night?” I asked.
He stayed where he was.
“Thank you and au revoir?”
Nothing.
I spun around and headed back to the stage. I piled all of the empty boxes together and we hid them behind the curtain. I turned back around and looked to see if there was anything else left out. I felt pretty good with the amount we’d gotten done. I faced Rebecca. “Why don’t you go home and I’ll see you at five.”
“Are you sure? It really won’t take me that long to get ready. I’m not wearing a formal or anything. I know I’ll still be in charge of some things so I’m wearing a flowy dress.”
“Call me if you’re ready early and I’ll let you know if we need help with anything. But I have Simon.”
“And me,” John said.
We all turned toward him. None of us knew what to say so Rebecca spun back toward me and said, “Thanks. I’ll see you later.” She glanced at John and then back at me. “Again, let me know if you need anything. Anything at all.”
I made a finger gun at her, winked and told her to relax. I took Simon’s hand, and we walked out with Rebecca. John followed behind. I relocked the doors, even though there was a custodian inside. John made me nervous.
Simon and I walked to our cars. John walked slowly to his. He was thinking again, and I didn’t like it. I had to get through this evening, and I was home-free until next fall. I still had to teach for a couple of weeks, but I was competent at that. I could even avoid having any direct communication with Principal Bennett for that length of time.
Simon got into his car, and I got into mine. We both started them but waited until John got in his and drove off. Simon motioned for me to go first and I did. We were heading to the same location, but it still felt good knowing he was behind me, covering my back. I thought about lighting a candle when we got home in some sort of prayer, but I only had White Barn scented candles. Would an apple-scented or peach-scented candle help more? Maybe both would be the best guarantee.
I pulled into the garage and waited for Simon to do the same. When he got out of his car, he didn’t look happy.
“Why was he there?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “I actually thought about calling Trudy because I have no idea what he’s thinking. I’m not sure if she would help or hurt. I don’t think she’ll take him back. Maybe if I told her I’d be her friend again.”
Simon didn't laugh. “I’m trying to be understanding, but I don’t like him. I’m sick of him. I don’t like that he’s coming around so much and trying to guilt you into something.” He hit an exposed stud in the wall of the garage. Then he hit it a few more times. He took a deep breath and turned back to me. “Okay. I’m finished.”
“You know there’s no way in hell that I’d go back to him, right?”
Simon briefly closed his eyes. “It’s still nice to hear.” He looked at the support beam. “Maybe I should start going to a boxing gym.”
“We should get a speed bag to put in the corner of the garage.”
He walked over to me and hugged me. “I love you. No matter what, I love you. I wish you hadn’t married so beneath you the first time. And I wish John would move to another country. And get arrested.”
I leaned into him. “I’ve been wishing that for years. But it would be hard on James.”
“I’d take him to visit. I’d be big about it.”
I laughed. “You would be.”
“We could convince James John’s in a special kind of spa that he can’t leave. He may get beaten up occasionally, but it could be good for his skin.”
I hugged him tighter. “Thanks for putting up with all of this. I know it’s not easy,” I said into his shoulder.
“I love you and the boys. I just want to punch John occasionally. And maim him.”
“It’s not fair that karma hasn’t caught up with those two. I wanted their hair or teeth to fall out or for them to be sued and lose everything and end up on the streets, begging for my help. Then I would step on them. I don’t see why that’s so much to ask.”
Simon rubbed my back, pulled me in for a tight squeeze and let me go. “Let’s finish this day and spend the night in a hotel.”
“That sounds amazing. We should be finished b
y then, right? It shouldn’t take long to clean up. I plan on making all of the alumni help out. I don’t care if they paid for this weekend. They can stack chairs and throw garbage away.”
“Perfect.”
We walked into the kitchen, and I grabbed a glass of water. Paul walked in from the basement and kicked a chair. He looked inside the pantry and slammed the door shut. He peered in the refrigerator and shut it. Then he kicked a chair again.
“What's up?” I asked.
“There’s absolutely nothing to eat.”
“Can I make you something?”
He looked at me with a sneer. “What about your specialty?”
“I can make chocolate milk very well, thank you. I’ll even use the whisk to make sure it’s evenly distributed.”
“I’m okay.” He pulled out a chair, sat down, and rubbed his face in his hands. When he stopped, he looked at me and said, “Alright. I’ll take a chocolate milk. That sounds good.”
Simon pulled out a chair and sat next to him. “I’ll take one too.”
I made a face at Simon and pulled out two glasses from the cabinet.
“Make mine a double,” Simon said.
“Don’t push it.” I got out the milk and chocolate syrup and started to work my magic. “Spill it, Paul.”
“How can you trust anyone when you can't even trust your own dad?”
“You can answer that one, Simon, while I finish whisking.”
Simon glanced at my hand as I whisked harder. He winked at me because I’d keep whisking until Paul’s question was answered.
“It’s one of the mysteries of life,” Simon said. “You have to trust people even if you don’t want to.”
“How do you know who to trust?”
“It’s not easy. What do you think, Grace?”
I stopped whisking and set a glass down in front of each of them. I walked over to the other side of the table and sat down. “I generally trust people when I first meet them unless I get a feeling that I shouldn’t.”
Better Off Divorced Page 13