by Leigh Landry
Shane sighed. “Yeah. That works.”
Silence again.
“Are you working tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” his brother said. Another long pause. “Did you need anything else?”
An apology? An admission that the motherfucker was wrong? Anything?
“No, that’s it,” said Shane.
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow. See ya.”
Shane ended the call and stared at his phone. He felt sick to his stomach, his palms were sweaty, and he was hot with anger, but he’d done it. He’d made the call. And he was going to get his guitar back. Why the fuck hadn’t he gotten this over with sooner?
Because he hadn’t met Natalie sooner, that’s why.
The kitten was licking its tiny, dirty paw beside the empty can. He threw the can away, picked the kitten up, and carried it to the bedroom. He nuzzled it, then looked the kitten in the eye while he held it in his cupped hands.
“I need to go somewhere for a little bit…to thank someone. Maybe press my luck again.” He smiled and booped noses with the kitten. “You and that full little belly of yours take a nap and don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone, okay?”
The kitten purred as Shane set it down on the fleece blanket it liked to sleep on. After turning off the light, he shut the bedroom door and grabbed his phone.
* * * * *
Natalie turned down Robin’s long gravel driveway Thursday evening. She used to love their weekly rehearsals. It was like a regular dinner party for their little found family, and as much as they gave each other crap, they really were family.
Until one of those family members decided to check out on them.
She’d been there by Camille’s side through everything. Her crap ex. Her layoff and months of job searching. Her spiral.
And yeah, despite what Robin thought, Natalie wasn’t blind to that spiral. She’d known Camille had been in trouble. And she’d stood by her through it. She’d supported Camille’s decision to go to rehab. Hell, Natalie had been the one who drove her there to check in.
And for all her loyalty and support, she got lies in return. Lies and a letter.
Natalie bypassed the giant Acadian-style house and headed straight for the studio out back. On the way, she passed Kelsey exiting the small building, probably finished setting up her kit.
“Hey there,” Kelsey said, her voice chipper. Kelsey loved to play. Any time. Any reason. She loved being behind that drum set with a pair of sticks in her hands. It was something she and Natalie always had in common.
“Hey.” The word was clipped short, as Natalie tried to rush past her and convey that she didn’t want to chat.
Kelsey stopped. “Not coming in the house?”
Natalie turned and paused for a moment. “No. I’m going to hide out for a bit. Tell the others I’m warming up. I’ll be in here whenever y’all are ready.”
Kelsey frowned but nodded. “Oh, wait! How was your not-a-date the other night? I meant to call you yesterday, but I think I must be coming down with something and passed out the second I got home from work.”
Natalie shrugged. “It was okay.”
She hoped Kelsey couldn’t read the truth on her face. Because it was all kinds of okay. More than that. She’d had more fun with Shane not having the only kind of fun that normally distracted her from reality. More fun than she’d had in a really long time. And that kiss…
But she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. About Shane. About anything.
It was the kind of thing she would have talked to Camille about. She loved Kelsey, but there was a Camille-shaped hole in Natalie’s heart that Kelsey, try as she might, just couldn’t fill. Not Kelsey. Not anyone.
“You’ll have to tell me all about it later,” Kelsey said. “And I do mean all of it.”
“Sure thing.”
She entered the little studio, then unzipped her bag, pulled out her guitar, and found a folding chair leaning against a wall. With one leg crossed over the other, she leaned back in the chair and let her fingers pluck at random chords, her left hand maneuvering and sliding along the frets. Then she fell into a few bars of the opening melody from “Blackbird.” It was one of her favorite songs, and her muscle memory took over, letting her fingers pluck the familiar, soothing melody. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be carried away by the tune.
When she had enough, she sat up straight and stretched her fingers and wrists. They had a long night ahead, and an even longer night tomorrow at the fair performance.
She thought about what to play next, and another favorite popped in her head. Damn it if she wasn’t moody as hell. She closed her eyes again and bent her head. Her fingers plucked those first few repetitive bars of “Ain’t No Sunshine.” She nodded along with the rhythmic pulse of the song. It was like church for her soul.
The door swung open and Robin walked in first, pausing to frown when she recognized the song. “Jesus, Nat. Really?”
Eric followed behind her and stopped too when he saw and heard Natalie playing in the chair. He grimaced and said, “Ooh, Jesus has nothing to do with that. Throw some holy water on that scene right there.”
“All right, all right.” Natalie stopped playing and went to stand in her spot.
The new girl came in next, followed by Kelsey, who closed the door behind them. Kelsey didn’t look well, and it was unusual to see her and Eric walk in separately like that, not speaking, even when they were more off-again than on-again. Natalie wondered if she had missed something back in the house.
“We don’t have time for an exorcism right now,” said Robin. “We’ve got a gig tomorrow night. Let’s start with ‘La Danse de Mardi Gras.’ We need to make sure Lauren’s comfortable with that one before tomorrow night.”
“Wait.” The word came out before Natalie had a chance to second-guess herself. She’d been thinking about it all week, but sitting in the studio, alone…it just wasn’t right. None of this was right. Not when she knew she could fix it. “I’m just letting y’all know, I’m getting Camille back.” She looked at the new fiddle player. “No offense.”
The girl nodded politely in acknowledgment, and Natalie almost wished she’d push back so Natalie would have someone to fight with.
“Nat,” Robin said in a stern voice.
Eric was uncharacteristically silent, and Kelsey gave a pleading, “Nat, maybe—”
Natalie ignored them all, her eyes glued to Robin. “Where is she?”
“I told you. I don’t know,” Robin said. “If anyone knows where she’s hiding out, it’s you.”
She was right, of course, and not because Camille left some damn letter. If Camille hadn’t even bothered to tell Natalie she was leaving, she sure as hell wouldn’t have said where she was going in there.
“Fine. Don’t tell me.” Natalie lifted her guitar and prepared to play. “I’m still gonna bring her back. She belongs here. And she needs us.”
Robin frowned, disappointment and sadness clear in her eyes. “Don’t you think she should get to decide what she needs?”
The words stung. Maybe because they were right. But Natalie knew in her heart that she could help Camille. Hadn’t she helped her before? No one knew her better than Natalie. And no one was going to stop her from helping her friend.
“Maybe she’s right.” The whole studio fell into silence as everyone’s heads turned to the new fiddle player. “Maybe Camille does need her friends.”
After a long, awkward silence, Robin said, “Maybe. But I still say it’s her call.”
Nat was too stunned to say anything. She hadn’t heard much out of the new girl after her grandstand push to promise to kick ass if they gave her a shot. And now she was not only speaking, she was speaking in Natalie’s defense. Or at least in Camille’s defense. Which meant even more.
The fiddle girl cleared her throat. “I’m just saying, I’ve been through hell the last couple months, and having
you all around has been really helpful. That’s all.”
Robin nodded and turned her eyes to Natalie. “There’s a big difference between being there for someone and dragging them back somewhere for what you think is their own good.”
The room fell silent again, until Nat strummed the first chord of the song. “Whatever. Let’s just get on with this.”
* * * * *
Two hours later, she put her guitar back in its bag and headed for the door. Kelsey called after her to wait up, but Natalie ignored her. She felt a slight twinge of guilt for that, but she didn’t want to listen to anyone try to talk her out of what she knew she needed to do.
When she got in her car and turned it on, she checked her phone while she waited for it to warm up. Two missed messages. The first one was a string of hearts and flowers and animals.
“Shit.”
She’d forgotten to text Cadence before rehearsal. Even before she glanced at the time, Natalie knew it was too late to catch her before bed. She texted a quick apology, to Cadence and Cadence’s dad, Eddie. Hopefully, he’d show it to her in the morning before school.
The second missed message was from Shane. It was over an hour old. He’d texted her once the day before to say he had a great time and was looking forward to seeing her at the gig Friday. She’d said she had fun, too, but that was all they’d said to each other since their bowling date.
Shane: Good news. Would like to tell you in person. Could meet you somewhere?
It was over an hour old. Natalie considered her response. She didn’t normally give out her address to flings. Especially since she had her safety and Cadence’s to consider. But this guy seemed to pass all her normal screenings so far. Plus, she didn’t feel like sitting in public right now.
Natalie: Just out of rehearsal. On my way home, if you want to swing by?
Shane: You mean I get a phone number and an address??
Natalie: Simmer down and don’t press your luck, buddy.
Shane: For you? I’ll roll all the dice.
She found herself smiling and shaking her head at the screen. A second later, she typed her address and, after a brief moment of consideration, hit send. Then, she tossed the phone on the passenger seat and put the car in gear.
What the hell was she doing?
Breaking all her own damn rules, that’s what. But after a long day at work and what felt like an even longer rehearsal and the past few weeks of disappointment, Natalie didn’t give a damn about rules anymore.
Chapter 6
After she looked through the peephole, Natalie opened the front door of her townhouse and gestured for Shane to come in. He gave her a shy nod and entered silently.
“Can I get you a drink or anything?”
“No, I’m good.” He took off his coat and draped it on the back of a chair. “Nice place.”
“Yeah. It’s small but nice,” she said. “Safe.”
“No bats necessary?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He gave her a grin and turned toward her bookshelves against a nearby wall. She warmed and tried not to squirm thinking of the last time they looked at a bookshelf together.
He pointed at a photo of her daughter. “Yours?”
She nodded. “Cadence.”
“Pretty name.” He paused. “Her dad still around?”
“She’s with him tonight. We trade off weekdays and weekends. Sometimes whole weeks.”
“That sounds tough, scheduling and shifting around like that.”
“We make it work.”
“Is that the reason you aren’t looking for a thing right now?”
“Partly.”
“Partly?”
“You discuss childcare and past relationships with all your flings?”
“I thought this was getting more serious,” he said. “I don’t tell just anyone about my cat.”
She laughed despite her growing annoyance. The last thing she wanted to do right now was talk about her kid or her kid’s father. “I’m really busy, yes. I’m also very good at choosing people to be in my life who don’t choose me back.” She had no idea why she told him that last part. Something about Shane made her want to tell him everything, every embarrassing mistake, every passion, every soul-crushing disappointment. And that scared the shit out of her. “You had something to tell me?”
“Yeah.” His expression stiffened a bit, and he scratched at his beard. “I wanted to thank you for the kick in the ass. I’m getting my guitar back tomorrow.”
Natalie felt her whole body loosen. She’d had no idea what he wanted to tell her, and all her guesses had been much worse. “That’s great.”
“You okay?” he asked. “You look…upset.”
“I don’t need a ride or food again, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Book chat?”
She laughed again and felt her sour mood fading away. How did he do that? Every time she was around Shane she felt lighter somehow.
“Seriously,” he said, “you okay?”
Natalie shrugged. “I will be.”
And she would. Eventually. But for right now, she was glad for Shane’s company. He was turning out to be more than just a distraction. She found herself genuinely enjoying his company.
“We can talk about it, if you want,” he added.
“That’s very sweet.” She took his hand and rubbed her thumb along his skin. It felt so good just to touch him that way, her brain was firing off all kinds of feel-good juiciness. “But this really isn’t your circus. And trust me, you don’t want it to be.”
He put his hand against the side of her face and softly rubbed his own thumb against her cheek. “What if I do?”
She frowned at him. “You really don’t mean that.”
“What if I do mean it?” he said again. “What if I want more than a fling from you?”
She pulled her head back. “You don’t even know my last name.” She had intentionally left it off when she’d put her name and number in his phone.
“You’re right. But I want to.”
Words were easy. Lots of people gave her words. But she couldn’t count on any of them for much more than that. “What else do you want, Shane? Where does this end?”
“It doesn’t, if I have my way.”
“I’ve heard that before,” she said. “Never made it true.”
“Never been me before.” He took her face in both hands and stared into her eyes. “I want to know your last name. I want to know what your favorite food is. I want to know your favorite books and movies and your dream vacation. I want to know everything about you.”
She held his stare and lost herself in his eyes for a moment, seeing herself in them once again. “That doesn’t sound much like a fling.”
He leaned forward, holding the intensity of his gaze, and said, “No, it doesn’t.”
For the first time in as long as she could remember, hearing those words and considering that possibility didn’t terrify her.
With no argument left for him—or for herself—Natalie leaned forward and met him for a kiss that was soft and sweet and definitely not the kiss of a fling. She didn’t know what kind of kiss it was, but it filled her with heat and desire, and made her feel safe as he held her face in his hands and kissed her sweetly.
His tongue entered her mouth, and the heat rose between them until she felt like he’d set off a blaze inside her. They kissed passionately, their hands desperately groping for skin-to-skin contact. She held the back of his neck, pressing his face to her own, and his hand slid up her shirt to grab her breast as he leaned his hips into hers.
He pulled his mouth from hers, sucking on her lip as he went, then said in a deep, breathy voice, “I want you in a bed this time.”
“I believe that can be arranged.” She nodded across the room. “Down the hall on the right.”
His hungry eyes looked down to her mouth and back up to her eyes again. Then his mouth was back on hers, kissing her feverish
ly, as he grabbed her and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him like he was her only source of oxygen, while he walked them both to her bedroom.
He placed her on the bed and immediately removed her T-shirt and his own. She rubbed her hands along his chest and arms, enjoying the view she missed the last time. She’d been so caught up in the moment then, she never took a chance to enjoy herself. To enjoy him. But now she wanted to savor every last second with him.
She rested her head against a pillow as he unzipped her jeans and freed her legs from them. A second later, her panties followed her jeans on the floor.
He took a long look at her naked body stretched out in front of him, and said, “Don’t move.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Good.” He kissed her stomach, then kissed his way down one thigh, glanced up at her with a wink, and kissed up the inside of her other thigh. She squirmed and shivered against his beard tickling her skin. He flicked his tongue lightly against her clit, then made slow, small circles around it.
Natalie slid her fingers into his thick, blond hair while he kissed and licked and sucked between her legs. She normally liked to be the one in control. But for some reason, she was content to lie on her back and let Shane order her around and take charge. To be in control of her pleasure in that moment.
Her heart raced and she felt her neck and face flush with heat until she could barely see the room around her. She clutched the sheets on the sides of her with both hands. As she gasped for breath and felt herself climbing, Shane began to kiss his way back up her stomach, pausing to unhook her bra and kiss her breasts for a moment. She reached to unzip his jeans and release him from his boxers.
“Give me one second,” he said.
He perched with one knee on either side of her and pulled a condom from his wallet as she stroked him.
“You’d better hurry,” she teased.
He held the package between his fingers until she snatched it from him. She tore it open while he removed his jeans and boxers. Natalie did the honors of rolling the condom down the length of his cock, barely able to focus on the task with his fingers now inside her. As soon as she finished with the condom, Shane slid inside her, slow at first, holding her gaze.