He couldn’t tell her that he’d known from the moment she’d been changed that she was the only woman meant for him. Of course, he’d been slow in believing it, but Jasper’s intrusion had convinced him. Griffin would have done anything to protect Lilah, even hurt his own king. It seemed like blasphemy, like betrayal, but he could no more ignore the instinct to protect Lilah than he could ignore the change.
“Just so you know,” he said, changing the subject. “I’m filling you with protein tonight so I can make you shift tomorrow.”
She scowled, dropping her chicken wing. Bumble leapt atop the table with a yowl and pranced toward the lid full of chicken bones. Griffin leaned forward and shooed the creature away. Bumble was affronted and reached out with a paw to push back at Griffin’s hand.
“I can’t…I don’t want to.”
When he looked back, Lilah seemed smaller than ever. She’d shrunk in on herself while he’d been dealing with her cat. Griffin turned his glare on Bumble, as if he could ask the defiant creature to help comfort Lilah somehow. The cat did have much more experience than Griffin did.
When the cat jumped off the table and ran away, Griffin turned toward his mate. He touched Lilah’s chin and gently directed her to look at him. There was so much hurt in her eyes, it broke him. Fear made tears wobble at the corners. He reached and wiped them away before they could fall.
“Can you trust me when I say everything is going to be alright?”
Her jaw tightened beneath his touch. He watched her throat work and thought she might be fighting back a sob. Griffin couldn’t help but feel useless in the face of his mate. He didn’t know the first thing about helping her. Disaster had struck and he was still trying to pick up the pieces. Putting them back together was another story altogether.
“I’m just so scared,” she whispered. “I don’t want to feel myself being torn apart. It’s…I can’t…”
He rubbed his thumb over her cheek again, trying to ease away the chill of fear that made her shake. When it didn’t work, his hand fell away, and he pulled her close. Lilah let her head fall against his chest. He could have sighed with happiness if it hadn’t been for the elephant in the room.
Her inability to shift.
Her refusal.
“I know our circumstances are different, but I can explain how the shift feels to me.” His head fell back, and he stared at the ceiling. The beast lurked beneath the surface, quietly feeding him the sensations he needed. “It feels like I’m being covered in butterflies. I know that sounds awful girly, but it’s the only way I can explain it. The shift starts and I get the butterflies on my skin feeling, then it’s warmth, like basking in the sun or opening a hot oven.”
Her only response was a subtle nod, head still pressed against his chest. He laid his hand on her hair. This was as close as he could get to his mate. Though they were in an agreement to appear like a couple, Lilah had pulled away from the world. She’d pulled away from what she’d become, and Griffin couldn’t help but fear that she hated him for it.
He wouldn’t blame her, but it hurt. He wanted to hold her and feel every inch of her curving body, but a wall stood between them. Even if he could steal these precious moments tonight, Griffin knew there would still be a wall when they woke. It would be filled with Lilah’s pain. Her confusion. Her resistance.
“Where was I? Oh, yeah. Butterflies and sunlight. That’s it. The feeling of hot sunlight fades and I’m in my dragon form. It’s not terrifying or painful. It can be uncomfortable if you fight it, but if you let it take its course, then everything will be alright.”
Lilah pulled back. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand and carefully kept from looking at him. His heart clenched, aching to see her face. There was no way to tell if his words had helped. She kept herself turned away from him so he couldn’t read her. She laid her hands flat on the table for a long moment, then reached for another chicken wing.
Griffin could only take the advice of other women and hope for the best. This night seemed like a good start, but Jasper had momentarily ruined it. They were back on track, though. Lilah was eating again.
She was at chicken wing number sixteen.
It would have been a lot for a human, but it was just an appetizer to a starving shifter. He set his last bones aside and leaned back. Lilah mimicked him. She couldn’t be full yet, but he knew if she kept eating, there was a chance she could make herself sick.
“Where did you get the cat?” He made an effort to change the subject.
She sniffled, but only once. Bumble appeared as though the mere mention of him could summon him. The cat crawled into Lilah’s lap and attempted to lick at her hands, even as she pulled them back.
“I found him as a kitten,” she began. “He was just this tiny ball of fur trapped in the middle of the road. Everyone was driving around him. He kept running from side to side, but the cars wouldn’t let him escape.”
Griffin couldn’t imagine the massive beast of a feline being trapped by anything. Nor could he imagine Bumble as a kitten.
“I pulled over and nearly got my door swiped by a car impatient to get around me. At first, I thought the car hit the kitten. I couldn’t see it, but then the car passed, and the kitten raced for me. I grabbed him and turned around to go home. What else could I do?” Lilah paused, running her hand down Bumble’s fur. “I fed him a can of tuna and lost my job. I called to tell them I couldn’t come in, and they fired me over the phone.”
“That’s pretty cruel,” Griffin said.
She just shrugged. “It’s been that way all my life. My resume is horrible because I can’t hold down a job. It’s all part of the family curse.”
“Hold up. Did you just say family curse?”
Her head snapped up, lips pursed like she’d said too much. Griffin wanted to know more, but it was clear Lilah was going to shut down. She quickly looked away and pretended she’d never said anything. Silence filled the room. The DVD player had long shut off after they’d ignored the menu screen for so long. Only Bumble’s purr softened the silence.
The night had been a disaster. He’d wanted to see her smile and relax for once, but she’d only cried. He hated knowing he was the cause of her tears. If he had waited to introduce her to everyone then they wouldn’t have been in the field that day. He should have had her unpack more of her things.
“Decades ago, a witch cursed one of my great-something grandparents,” Lilah began. “Everyone in our family has had poor luck. My parents died in a car accident. Before that, my grandparents went missing on a cruise. Everything that happens to me is awful. When I met you, the curse was tearing my life apart brick by brick, and it hasn’t stopped yet.”
Griffin pulled in a deep breath and steadied himself. He didn’t think curses worked that way, but he didn’t know for sure. If she thought a curse was rampaging through her life, then he could hear her out.
Lilah pressed her lips into a thin line. There was some color coming back to her cheeks, which pleased him while he waited for her to go on. Just when she opened her mouth, the front door flew open again.
His groan devolved into a frustrated growl and he shoved himself to his feet, ready to throw Jasper out on his ass once again. He should have known better. After Jasper’s earlier display, the beast in him would be restless. When Ryker skidded to a halt in front of the TV, the urgency in his eyes was unmistakable.
Griffin knew what his cousin was going to say before he spoke and was already halfway to the door when he remembered Lilah. She sat on the floor, looking a bit lost and a bit relieved. She jerked her chin for him to go, but he closed the space between them, knelt before her, and touched her chin.
He kissed her goodbye and felt the longing in her slow movements. It sparked need deep inside him that he couldn’t let overtake him. Not just then. Duty came first, no matter how he bemoaned it. Slowly, he pulled back. Lilah leaned into him, as though she couldn’t stand to end the kiss just yet.
/> His heart flipped in his chest.
No matter what happened tonight, he would return to her. He would drag himself back if he needed to. Her gaze flicked to Ryker, and she flashed a thumbs-up where Ryker couldn’t see, making Griffin realize it’d all been part of the show.
For a second, his stomach dipped. Then, he told himself what he’d felt on her lips had been real. Maybe Lilah refused to acknowledge it, but she felt something for him, too. They were mates, after all. He only needed to bide his time until she loved him in turn.
Chapter Twelve
Griffin slept late into the morning. Lilah had been up for hours, sipping coffee while Bumble purred at her feet. She glanced at the kitchen door, willing Griffin to appear if only to appease her loneliness. He’d come home late and ragged. His hair had been unbound and his shirt had been nowhere to be found, revealing the scratches that crisscrossed his chest.
Lilah felt for all the metallic dragons. The longer she stayed with them, the more dysfunctionality she found. It was not that they hated each other, but the weight of their lives sinking like wedges between each of them. It was a feeling Lilah knew well.
For a long while, she regarded her phone on the table. Vivi had texted her several more times. After the first few text messages, Lilah had put her phone on silent. As much as she loved her baby sister, she couldn’t stand the thought of Vivi barging into this new life. More so, she couldn’t stand the idea of the curse being doubled.
Like magnets, both Lilah and Vivi attracted the worst the universe had to offer. When they were together, it multiplied until it was out of control. There’d been a time, when Lilah had been driving Vivi to school that her car broke down in a busy intersection. She wished that was the end of the story, but it was only the beginning. Two other cars, unable to stop, hit them.
There was no denying the force of the family curse when they were together.
The beast was quiet in her mind, still sated from last night’s meal. When she thought about it, the beast shook and reminded her to eat another meal before settling back down. This was her life now and there was no feasible way to go back to being wholly human. She was a dragon shifter and she needed to come to terms with it.
Lilah wasn’t sure if her sister could come to the same terms. Vivi would either run away screaming or ask Lilah if she’d been employed by Aurum Bank, as if all dragon shifters automatically worked for the bank. Lilah pinched the bridge of her nose and sank further into her seat.
Eat, the beast whispered.
I don’t need you telling me what to do.
I am you and you are me, slid through her mind. Fighting yourself isn’t wise.
Lilah didn’t know what to do with that information, so she stood and went to the fridge in search of breakfast. Restless, she ignored the containers of leftover wings and pulled out ingredients. It wasn’t until she had them lined up on the counter that she realized what she was making.
French Toast.
It was one of her favorites. She used to make it in the mornings after heavy drinking, before her friends woke with heady hangovers. Back when she had friends. Since then, her life had steadily drifted further away from what it’d been. Being around Griffin and his family reminded her of those days, when she’d been full of life and not permanently exhausted by the curse.
She couldn’t find a whisk and had to settle on a fork for making her custard. The bread was unsliced and forced her to search high and low for a bread knife. At last, she found one buried in a drawer of miscellaneous tools. She regarded the pliers sitting among the kitchen utensils before laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
Griffin stood in the doorway wearing nothing but his boxer briefs again. Lilah didn’t mind so much this time, stealing a moment to take him in. The wounds on his chest had healed. Seeing his near perfect skin drew a sigh of relief from her.
She snatched the pliers and held them up. “Please tell me you don’t use these in the kitchen.”
Griffin stared at her for a long moment, as if he couldn’t quite see yet. It was cute, in its own way. Lilah waited for him to fully wake up.
Finally, he waved her off. “I keep them there, so I know where they are when I need them. You don’t know how many things get broken around here that no one knows how to fix. I’ve made more tables in the last month than I have in my entire life.”
She tossed the pliers back into the drawer, bumped it closed with her hip, and went back to making French toast. Griffin followed her. He lingered close by, watching what she was doing. As much as she wanted to say she hated it, she didn’t mind his presence. It was comforting. She felt safe around him.
“Grab some cinnamon and salt for me,” she commanded.
Griffin raised a brow. “You act as if those words mean anything to me.”
She was about to ask if he was serious when the door blew open. She met Griffin’s annoyed gaze, silently asking if this was a regular occurrence. From his quiet resignation, she gleaned that it very much was.
“This is what you get for living in your cousin’s guest house,” she whispered as she passed him on her way to grab cinnamon and salt.
He caught her and pulled her to his chest just as Ashton entered the room. Lilah wanted to fight Griffin off, to sink into his touch, and disappear from the world all at once, but she knew her job. She had to play the part of the happy girlfriend, the potential mate. So, she twisted in his grasp and tilted her head back.
Before Ashton could say anything, Lilah pulled Griffin into a long and luxurious kiss. Griffin moaned into her mouth and clutched her tighter. One hand sank lower to cup her ass while the other curled against her spine. She felt like a dam was bursting. She poured everything she felt into the kiss, everything she hadn’t allowed herself to feel. It was like swallowing electricity.
No, like swallowing fire.
It was dangerous. She was a moth dancing too close to the flame. Any closer and the heat would singe her wings. She would fall for the dragon man she told herself not to get attached to and her heart would eventually break. Lilah pulled away, feeling her heart race a hundred miles a minute. Her cheeks were hot, and her lips throbbed.
Ashton snuck two thumbs up to Griffin, a gesture she caught. Lilah tried to hide her smile, but she couldn’t help it. It was almost like she was happy.
Fake happy, she reminded herself. This was a ploy, an act. She was doing her part. Letting the fake emotions feel real would only set her up for disastrous heartbreak later. Sexy men like Griffin didn’t fall for plump women like her. She was a wallflower and would always be passed over. Especially with the other jaw-dropping mates around.
But, the way Griffin’s gaze followed her and only her, made Lilah wonder if he could fall for her. She shut down the thought only to receive an offended growl from the beast inside her. Lilah shook her head, but the sound didn’t go away.
“Thanks for your help with Jasper last night,” Ashton said before dropping into a kitchen chair.
Griffin glared at Ashton, at the chair he’d taken, but Ashton didn’t get the hint. Not even when Griffin crossed his arms over his chest. Lilah let them deal with their family issues while she searched for cinnamon in the spice cupboard. There was little spice to be found, just like there was little conversation happening behind her.
She bypassed the dubious looking cannister of cinnamon in favor of some vanilla. “Grif, can you grab me the jar of apple butter from the fridge?”
Ashton snorted, perhaps at the nickname she’d given the silver dragon. The laughter stopped when Griffin did as she asked and procured the jar in question. While the two dragons returned to their awkward companionship, she opened and sniffed the jar. Just as she thought, there was cinnamon in it.
“I know last night was long, but you have patrol today,” Ashton informed Griffin.
Lilah stiffened. The apple butter fell into the custard with a silence breaking plop.
“Like hell I do. I have be
tter things to do than partake in Jasper’s war. I have a shifter who refuses to change.”
Lilah smacked him with a spatula. He feigned being hurt while she glared at him. From the outside, they were putting on a convincing show. They must have looked like a couple who’d been together for years. She felt like she was living in a sitcom. When would his family find out they were lying? What would they do?
It wasn’t like Griffin was skipping work because he loved her. She told herself it was just as he’d said. She was a shifter and now his responsibility. Teaching her how to adjust to her new life was his priority. It had nothing to do with the way he smiled when he looked at her or the lingering feeling of his lips on hers.
Ashton groaned. “The rest of us have mates! We want to see them once in a while. Can’t you understand that?”
The air heated. Griffin jerked upright. Lilah pressed a hand to his chest, not thinking that she was putting herself between an angry dragon and an annoyed dragon. All she thought about was stopping Griffin from doing something he regretted. She was going to get burnt.
But no flames appeared. Griffin looked down at her hand on his bare chest. He reached and covered it with his own hand.
“You’re not the only one, Ashton.”
The meaning behind his words zinged through her. Lilah was suddenly thankful her back was to Ashton, so he couldn’t see the surprise that filled her face. At first, she thought Griffin was telling the truth, that she was actually his mate. Then, she realized it was just another facet of their agreement.
Griffin had taken it a step further. They weren’t just fake-dating. Now they were fake-mates. The pressure to perform tripled and made her heart fumble. Lilah didn’t know how to act like a dragon’s mate. Hell, she barely knew how to act like a dragon. All these things were so unfamiliar to her. She was bound to trip up sooner or later.
She didn’t understand why Griffin had to push this further, why he had to make it harder. They were going to get caught, without a doubt.
Aurum Court Dragons: Boxset Books 1-5 Page 50