“And to you,” he said then got into his carriage once more. Clicking lightly at his horse, he drove off.
Unlocking the door, I headed inside. The stairs wound upward to my small flat in the third-floor garret at the top of the building. Once inside, I set about getting my fireplace going. Grabbing a vase, I placed the Frost Fair roses close to the window. Marion’s snarky, but true words came to mind. They would fade in the heat. Perhaps the chill from the window would keep them blue a bit longer. Only when the orange light filled the room, the flames fighting off the chill, did I pull off Kai’s coat. I slid a chair close to the fire and slipped off my boots, setting my feet as close to the flames as I dared. I closed my eyes, soaking in the warmth. My mind drifted to thoughts of Granny. How empty the small apartment seemed without her. It had been three years since she’d died, but her touches were still everywhere. From the watercolor paintings on the wall to the embroidered pillows, I felt her presence. I wished she’s been there tonight to see the play. She would have loved it. And she would have been proud of Kai as well.
I smiled when I thought about Granny and Kai’s grandmother, Gerda, whom I’d called Gram. I sighed, thinking about Granny and Gram, and looked out the window of the garret. Though the window was trimmed with ice, I spied the window frame to Kai’s garret apartment. How our grandmothers used to love to sit by their windows and talk the whole day long. Though misfortune brought both Kai and me under our grandmothers’ care, it had also brought us one another in the process.
My eyes drooped closed. While it was exciting to be the only players on the Thames, it had made for a long day exposed to the chill. Now, the small room was cozy and warm. As I rested, I envisioned John’s estate in Twickenham with its exquisite parlors and bed chambers. My little garret was probably the size of his butler’s pantry. How nice it would be to win such a fine man’s heart and live in a fine house with fine things. I knew very well that actresses were often the playthings of gentlemen, but it wasn’t that way with John. From the first moment I’d met him, he’d been nothing but proper.
About two months earlier, after a performance of Hamlet, I’d received a note that a Lord Waldegrave wanted to meet me to express his compliments.
“A lord?” Amy had said, her eyes wide, when I shared the note with the girls. Lizzie and Hannah had crowded behind me to look over my shoulder at the paper. We were in the ladies’ dressing room backstage.
Marion snorted. “Not hard to guess what he’s interested in. You already have a doctor. Do you need a nobleman too? And didn’t you just scuttle off a different lord the other night?” she asked. While she attempted to mask it, there was no denying the envy that tinged her voice.
“First, Doctor Murray is just my friend. And yes, but that was Lord Byron, and everyone knows what he’s about.”
Lizzie squeezed my arm playfully. “And still you said no. Elyse, how could you? Reputation or no, Lord Byron is an Adonis. And so very famous. Even fine ladies chase him.”
“Such as Lady Caroline Lamb, who went mad and attempted to take her own life over their broken affair?”
Lizzie sighed dreamily. “Yes…what passion the poet must provoke.”
“Then I shall point him your direction next time, my Cassandra-like warnings unheeded.”
Lizzie laughed.
Marion rolled her eyes, picked up her coat, and left.
“Lord Waldegrave. That name is not familiar to me.” I looked at the other girls, who shrugged. What did we, low-born as we were, know of lords? Many dazzling names circled the aether over our heads. Only because Byron was so scandalous, and well known amongst the London actresses for his carousing, was he well-noted. Lord Waldegrave? I had no idea who he was. “Well, I shall meet him and see. Knowing my luck, he is some merry old curmudgeon, and I remind him of his granddaughter.”
At that, the girls laughed. Chatting merrily amongst themselves, they quickly changed then left the theatre.
I sat down at my dressing table and looked into the mirror. I was tired. I had been ill with a fever over Christmas and had just recovered. My already pale skin looked whiter than usual, and the performance had drained me. I hardly would have tried a role as taxing as Ophelia except Marion had commented that I wasn’t good enough for the part.
I quickly removed my stage makeup and fixed my hair. I had worn a simple day gown to the theatre that day, not thinking I would be seeing anyone other than Kai after the performance. Though he was often busy working, Kai would always meet me after a performance to walk me home. I slipped on my plum-colored dress. While it was hardly fashionable, the color was flattering. I took my pelisse from the peg and headed back into the theatre. I paused a moment when I got to the empty stage. Aside from Marve and Skippy, there was no one left at the Struthers Theatre. The seats were all vacant, and only a few lights glowed. I set down my basket and coat. Taking just a moment before I headed to the lobby, I closed my eyes and breathed in the stage.
The scent of the timbers, the dust, the smell of the upholstery, the perfume that was the stage filled my nose. I closed my eyes and centered myself. Then, wanting to feel the joy of it for just a moment, I moved into first position then pirouetted across the stage. Grabbing my skirt and lifting it a bit to free my legs, I turned and danced a petit allegro. The joy I felt in the movements, the quick leaps, which I felt landed in perfect succession, filled my heart with joy.
When I was finished, I smiled widely then exhaled deeply, my breath quickening at the task.
I was taken by surprise, however, when applause came from the audience.
I looked into the darkened theatre and spotted a gentleman wearing a green coat walking toward the stage.
“Forgive me, Miss McKenna, isn’t it?” he asked, removing his top hat. “I was in the lobby when I realized I’d forgotten my walking stick,” he said, stepping into a row of seats to retrieve the stick. “I did not mean to intrude.”
My cheeks flushed red. It was one thing to be seen on the stage when you were expecting it. It was quite another to dance, unbridled, legs over-exposed. Trying to hide my embarrassment, I smiled confidently, picked up my basket and headed down the steps into the house.
“I’m afraid you have the better of me,” I said, curtseying politely when I met the gentleman mid-aisle.
He bowed. “Lord John Waldegrave.”
No, no elderly curmudgeon. A tall man about my age with reddish brown hair, soft brown eyes, and a very nice cut, Lord Waldegrave was a handsome young gentleman.
“Pleased to make your acquaintance. I’m Elyse McKenna. Shall we remove to the lobby? The lighting is dreadful here.” And it was very inappropriate to meet with his lordship in a darkened theatre.
He nodded, and we headed toward the front of the house.
“Miss McKenna, I am astounded at the range of your skills. I knew you to be a talented actress. I hadn’t known you were also gifted in ballet.”
My cheeks reddened again. “I am not formally trained, sir. My grandmother, however, was a ballerina. She taught me.”
“I must apologize for intruding again. But I must admit, it was a delight to watch. Do you perform ballet elsewhere?”
“No,” I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. In truth, it was tough to gain the attention of a larger, more famous company. I was settled with my troupe, but my heart still aspired higher.
“Well,” he said, seeming to understand the problem, “I am confident that given time, you will catch the attention of anyone who is able to recognize natural talent.” Lord Waldegrave opened the door, and we entered the lobby. “Do you perform every night?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“And during the day?”
“We vary our matinees. At present, I am not on the stage on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
“I…” he began, then twisted his hat in his hands. “Might I call on you? This Thursday?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. There was no way I could accept such a fine gentleman caller at my garret
apartment. Aside from that, I had no proper chaperone. A girl who didn’t care much about her reputation would have accepted the invitation with no regard to either. But I was not such a girl, and I wanted to make that abundantly clear.
“I’m afraid…I do not have…You see, my home…Lord Waldegrave, I’m afraid I—” I began then burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I covered my mouth with my hands then looked at him.
He smiled softly, seeming to understand. “Miss McKenna, may I propose that we take a tour of the British Museum this Thursday? I can meet you there, perhaps?”
I exhaled a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I would love that.”
With a bow, Lord Waldegrave put on his top hat once more. “It was a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to seeing you on Thursday,” he said, and with a smile, he exited the lobby.
I stood a moment trying to catch my breath.
“I am amazed and know not what to say,” I said to no one in particular, snatching a line from Shakespeare’s Hermia. He had understood my situation and had, in the kindest of ways, sought to remedy my discomfort. And with that, his behavior suggested that this gentleman was not merely looking for carnal entertainment. I scarcely knew what to think.
I slipped on my pelisse. I was buttoning it up when Kai entered the lobby.
“Ah, sorry I’m late. The Haughton’s son had a terrible cough. How was it?”
“Amazing.”
“Amazing?”
“You won’t believe what just happened,” I said then shared the exchange with Kai, whose face grew darker, or so it seemed, with my every word.
“Go cautiously. He may be ill-intended.”
“Must you assume the worst of everyone?”
“Seems prudent to do so.”
“Perhaps I’m so ugly that you can’t imagine a fine man courting me?” I teased.
“On the contrary. I can imagine all men, fine or not, trying to court you. That’s what has me worried.”
“You jest.”
“Do I?” he said. “No. I worry. Such a man cannot court you without scandal. So either he is braced for a liaison that may call into question his reputation or he doesn’t have honest intentions.”
“Kai,” I said in an exhausted huff. I reached out and tickled his ribs. He yelped, evoking a boyish squeal.
I giggled.
“Don’t do that again,” Kai said with a smile, snatching hold my hand to prevent me from pestering him again.
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll forbid you from meeting your fancy gentleman.”
“And just how do you propose to enforce that?”
“Hum,” Kai said then looked thoughtful. “I’ll find a way.”
I blew air through my lips. “Instead, wish me well.”
“You know I do. Speaking of, how are you feeling? Is the performance taxing you too much?”
“A little, but I’ll never admit it to anyone but you.”
“Be sure you rest tonight. You’re just getting well.”
I squeezed Kai’s hand, grateful that he watched over me as he always had.
My mind drifted back to the present. If John formed a genuine attachment to me, if there was a chance I could marry him, then what? What of Kai? He had been in my life all my life. How would I live without Kai across from my window? As I drifted off to sleep, a single thought pricked at my heart. How could I live without Kai?
It was some time in the middle of the night when I heard the latch on my window rattle. Sleepy eyed, having been lost in a dream, I looked up. A moment later, the panes opened, letting in a gust of cold winter wind. Feet first, Kai slipped into my flat.
I smiled sleepily at him. “What time is it?”
“Nearly three o’clock.”
“You’re just getting in now?”
“Obviously,” he said with a grin. Kneeling before my fireplace, he banked up the flames.
“How is the gentleman?”
“Alive. He’s still out of his mind, but his heart is steady, and the color has come back to his extremities. The local surgeon will look after him for a few days. Master Hawking was very obliging.”
“He’s a kind man,” I said, feeling my eyes shut once more. “I’d like to visit the gentleman tomorrow. Will you take me when you go?”
“Of course. Are you performing in the morning?”
“At ten. I’ll play the role of the faerie godmother in the morning pantomime.”
“Fitting.”
“The godmother and not the maiden? Have I lost my bloom already?”
Kai smiled. “Hardly. By playing the faerie once more, you’ll steep yourself in a mystique for the fairgoers.”
“Mystique. I like that.”
Kai covered me with a thick blanket. “You should get into your cot.”
“I’m far too comfortable here. You take it. It will take too long for you to get your fire going at this time of night.”
“Stay here? Are you certain? It’s not entirely prop—”
“Proper, proper, always on with what is proper. Kai, you are like my own blood and know me as well as I know myself. Since we were children—”
“But we aren’t children anymore. And we are not brother and sister.”
“Indeed. But who knows you are here save the mice and me? Stop arguing with me and lie down. I’m going back to my dream.”
Kai sighed then I heard the frame of my cot creak as it took on his weight. “What were you dreaming about?”
“I was in a forest. It was very green.”
“Most forests are.”
“Tease. I mean, it was very green, lush, with leaves and flowers galore, and someone was playing a harp. People were dancing around a maypole,” I said with a yawn, feeling myself slip back to sleep.
“Sounds nice. I’ll try to meet you there.”
I chuckled, or at least I tried to, as I was half asleep once more. “Nosy boy. Go have your own dreams.”
“Yours are much better than mine. And I want to see you dance in the forest, nymph.”
“Rogue.”
Kai laughed softly. “Goodnight, Elyse.”
“Goodnight, Kai.”
Chapter 6: The Ingenious (and Attractive) Miss Isabelle Hawking
The following morning, after we shared breakfast, Kai retreated to his flat to get ready for the day. I closed the curtains on the garret window, refreshed myself, and then waited for Kai. As I sat at my small kitchen table stirring my tea, I wondered for the hundredth time why Kai still kept a residence in his little garret apartment. He didn’t have the money for anything better when he was an apprentice, but now that he earned a doctor’s wages, he could afford a modest home. Indeed, if he went into the country, he would likely be able to find a position and fine house. I frowned. Was he, like me, attached to the space out of sentiment?
I heard a tap at the window.
Kai and I kept an endless supply of pebbles at the window sill. I rose and went to the window. Pushing the curtains aside, I expected to see Kai leaning out his window waiting for me. Instead, I found a mourning dove on the ledge. When I opened the curtains, I startled the poor creature, and it flew away, leaving behind what I’d thought was a twig. Then I noticed a splash of purple color. I opened the window and discovered that the twig was not a twig at all but a lovely spring crocus, deep purple and vibrant yellow in color.
I turned to call to Kai when I noticed that his window was still shut. I looked through the glass and caught sight of him as he buttoned the top of his trousers. Shirtless, he stood adjusting his trousers. His undershirt and shirt sat on the chair nearby. I moved to go back inside but paused a moment. I hadn’t remembered Kai being so fit. Granted, it had been years since I’d seen Gram scrub him down, complaining that he smelled of dirt, but I had not realized he was so muscular. His chest had a smattering of dark hair. His stomach was firm. Trailing down from his belly button was a line of dark hair that led to—
Gasping, surprised by and embarrassed of, myself
, I closed the window. I felt my cheeks redden. I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the images that played across my mind. The thought of Kai naked had made my heart quicken.
“Elyse, you need to get married soon before you sully your virtue,” I berated myself as I pushed the last of the lustful thoughts away.
Keeping myself busy, I turned to examine the Frost Fair roses. Overnight, they had warmed to a pale purple color. The smell coming off the blossoms was heavenly.
A few moments later, I heard a tap on my window once more. I waited, listening for a second tap. This time I wanted to be certain it was Kai’s call before I called my modesty into question again. A stone tapped on the window again.
I opened the curtains. Kai was leaning in the opposite window frame. I pushed open the latch.
“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?” I called lightly, making Kai smile.
“Are you ready, Juliet?”
“I am.”
“You know they both die in that play, right?”
I laughed. “But what a romance first. Meet you below?”
Kai nodded.
I latched the window then turned and pulled on my heavy jacket. Bundled in layers of clothing, I headed outside.
By the time I got downstairs, Kai was already waiting for me. As always, he carried his doctor’s bag. Offering me his arm, we headed out. A light snow had started to fall. Given it was early morning, the new dust covered everything with a beautiful shimmer of white.
As we headed in the direction of London Bridge, I said, “Kai, I was thinking—”
“Oh dear. So much mischief has always followed those words.”
“Not always.”
“Kai, I was thinking, why don’t we make dinner for our grannies? Kai, I was thinking, should we try to crawl down the drain spout? Kai, I was thinking you would look very fetching without any hair. Let me see: fire, a broken arm, and a bald head, complete with several small cuts, which also earned me a switching.”
I laughed. “Yes, but wasn’t it the broken arm which introduced you to Doctor Thompson who later supported you in your studies? You see, if it weren’t for me, you would never have studied medicine.”
Frostbitten Fairy Tales Page 13