by M. E. Carter
“And your dad is a football legend with a zillion dollars and you’re in medical school.”
“My adoptive dad,” he corrects. “I can’t claim those genetics so don’t make me out to be better than I am. That’s not my point anyway. Nicole likes you.”
“She does not.”
“You’re literally the only person who doesn’t believe it.”
Or he’s making things up in his brain. All we’ve done is hold hands, and that was more about her progress of feeling comfortable with people than it was about me. None of what he’s saying makes sense. “For argument’s sake since you clearly can’t let this go, why would she even like me? She’s surrounded by some of the smartest, best looking, richest men in Texas.”
“Don’t underestimate yourself. You’re kind and fun and loyal. You always have a kind word for people and you go with the flow.”
“You sure she likes me? Cause it sounds like you’re the one with the crush on me.”
He reaches over and punches me in the shoulder. Hard.
“Ow. Unnecessary asshole.”
“Totally necessary. She sees all those things and the fact that you fight for the people you love. Every chick wants that.”
I snort a laugh. He’s fucking hilarious today. “Oh yeah. I fight really well. More like I’d get my ass kicked by that dude Jeremy.”
“And you still stepped in front of him when he came in to confront her.”
“What are you talking about?” I squint to see the screen, sure I saw a flash of someone who may be stalking us. I bet the sheriff is out again.
“I heard that he was staring her down and you got between them so he couldn’t see her.”
I glance over at him and furrow my brows. “That? So what?”
“So, you basically stepped in front of a raging bull to protect her. Don’t get me wrong, you’re right when you say he could squash you. But you did it anyway. And that’s the point.”
I can feel my cheeks flushing the more he talks. “You make it sound like it was some big thing. It was just a reflex.”
“Right. But it was an important reflex. It was protective in nature versus leaving her to deal with it on her own. Is there someone chasing us?” he asks, changing topics briefly.
“I think the sheriff might be looking for us because of a bank robbery, but I can’t find him.”
We play in silence for a few minutes until Jaxon decides to continue beating this dead horse he won’t leave alone.
“You know you did it with Matty, too.”
“You’re losing me again. Can we just play instead of having this conversation?”
“No.” He tosses his controller to the side, leaving me to my own devices.
“You shit,” I grumble, but he ignores me.
“Remember that shoulder injury you were getting onto him about for not telling anyone?”
My thumbs slip off the controller, startled by his words. “You know about that?”
“Yeah. Dad called me to say how impressed he was that you got on Matty’s case. He finally had an MRI done. Turns out he has a small tear in his rotator cuff.”
“Oh shit. Is he going to be okay?”
“Yeah, it’s like a day surgery or something.”
I shake my head knowing how pissed off Matty probably is. “He’s going to hate that.”
“Yep. But he’s also thanking his lucky stars right now that you pushed him to finally tell the trainer what was really going on.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s only going to miss a couple of games. If he’d waited and it got worse, he could have been out permanently.”
“No way.”
“That’s what I’m saying, Kade. You’re responsible for him taking care of himself. You’re good like that. You may not be six-five and two-fifty but that doesn’t mean you’re not a protector by nature. And Nicole digs your brand of protection.”
I give him a pointed look before glancing back to the screen and getting yet another glimpse of law enforcement. “Are you drinking tonight?”
“What, you think she’s interested in some huge guy that lifts on a daily basis?”
“She should be,” I mutter.
“Get real. She can’t even come out from behind the bar when people are there. But you? She stays in an enclosed area with you for hours with no problem.”
I’m not sure if it’s an insult that I don’t have enough muscles to intimidate anyone, or a compliment that Nicole doesn’t think I’d ever use what little muscle I have to harm her. I stay quiet as his words start to sink in. Is it possible she really does like me? I’ve wondered before but I don’t want to get my hopes up either. There’s no coming back from her breaking my heart.
Jaxon shoves me to get my attention. “You’re starting to see what I’m talking about aren’t you?”
“I mean, just because she trusts me doesn’t mean she likes me like that.”
Jaxon scoffs and tosses the free controller at my head, making me duck. “She plays Red Dead Redemption with you. You think she does that shit for fun?”
“I…” Now that he mentions it, maybe? “I thought she was enjoying herself.”
“I’m sure she is. Because it’s not about the game. She’s enjoying spending time with you.”
I go quiet, trying to process everything he’s saying. It was one thing to think I see a small flirtation, but for someone else to see it—that’s an entirely different thing. And it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not good enough for her.
“This is all good information. But I’m not sure what you want me to do with it.”
“I want you to take some initiative and ask. Her. Out. On a date. Not to your couch for more gaming with my brother.”
I worry my bottom lip, distracted from my game, before asking the question I really want to know. “You really think she’ll say yes?”
“I would stake my life on it.”
Suddenly the sheriff I’ve been getting glimpses of comes from out of nowhere and slaps handcuffs on me.
Not a good sign of things to come. Not at all.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nicole
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I pull out of the tight hug Kiersten has me in and cross my arms against what is finally a chilly evening. Still humid, but tolerable with the temps in the mid-60s. It puts me in a much better mood.
“Okay. Be safe.”
She turns away and I watch as Alex walks Kiersten to her car. Technically he’s here for me, but I was adamant that with my case coming to a head, anyone who works here needs an extra set of eyes until we know Jeremy’s mental state. My sister especially.
Alex waits until she’s safely in her car and pulls out of the space before jogging back inside. I shut the door behind him and lock it. I feel terrible he has to wait here for another hour or so with nothing to do.
Lately, it was decided, and I decided to gratefully go along with it, that I would always have male accompaniment when I close, which is several nights a week. I wanted to argue that it wasn’t necessary, but deep down I already knew being alone in a dark parking lot in the middle of the night is already pretty unsafe. Add Jeremy to the mix and it’s downright stupid.
Unfortunately, Kade and Paul don’t always work the same shifts I do. In those cases, we have a few volunteers like Alex who pitch in.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck being my security detail tonight, Alex.”
He pulls back and looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Are you kidding? Paul says my next night here is on him just for hanging out and making sure you’re okay. That sounds like a bargain to me. I can drink when I want to.”
I smile at his emphasis on the word. He’s always so fun to be around. “Well, it’s appreciated.”
Alex leans in and lowers his voice. “Between you and me, I would have done it for free. Just don’t tell Paul that,” he tacks on quickly.
“How come?”
He shrugs. “Every man I know
can tell stories about his mom or sister or neighbor or friend being disrespected the way you were. Some of us want that to change, so we’re doing our part to facilitate that. Besides,” he smirks. “There are worse things than hanging out with a couple of pretty ladies late at night.”
“You’re such a charmer,” Tammy says with a grin as she walks by, stopping to pat his cheek. They have such a funny relationship. It’s this weird flirtation that isn’t serious, but they just enjoy making each other smile. If I didn’t know Tammy was madly in love with her husband of however many decades, I’d wonder about her more than I do.
I drop back behind the bar to begin the process of closing things down, even though one person still remains. It was also decided that since I don’t know Alex that well, I have a second set of eyes—a female friend.
“And how did you get stuck being my secondary babysitter?” I ask Annika who is still sitting at the bar, nearly empty water bottle in her hand.
It feels a bit like I’m a “kept” woman from the 1800’s with so many escorts. Not that I would mind living in Sanditon and having Theo James escort me everywhere. But I’m still ready to be done with this whole situation for several reasons—this being the biggest one.
“Jaxon is at your place anyway so I’m going to ride over with you when you’re done.”
Her answer sounds like a load of crap but I can’t pinpoint exactly why.
“You know it’s not my place, right? It’s Kade’s.”
“You’re staying there for now,” she says with a shrug. “Close enough.”
I grab the spray bottle and begin moving bottles over so I can wipe all the sticky alcohol off the shelves, but I can’t dismiss the feeling that there’s something else happening here.
“There’s more to this than you meeting up with your boyfriend, isn’t there. What’s really going on?”
She quirks her lips before dropping the bottle on the counter and crossing her arms in front of her. “Mostly I wanted to see how you’re feeling about the trial.”
I glance up, my movements stuttering. I’m used to everyone tiptoeing around me and anything to do with the trial. It’s still several months off but I wasn’t expecting her to just come right out and ask about it. I’m not even sure what the answer is, so I go into default mode.
“I’m fine.” I give her a bright smile and begin scrubbing again.
Oddly, Annika looks almost disappointed by my reaction. Like she was hoping for more honesty.
“That’s good. You’re stronger than most. I know when I had to testify against the man who raped me, I was terrified.”
This time my movements stop completely. “You… you did that?”
She just nods.
“When?”
“Which part? The rape or the trial?”
Her matter-of-factness is almost jarring. I would expect such a sensitive topic to be discussed in hushed whispers behind closed doors. At least that’s how I still feel about my case and there was no rape involved. Still, I can’t stop my own curiosity. Not just because of what happened to her but because of how she dealt with it.
“Either I guess.”
She pressed her lips together, then licks them before she answers. “Well, it took about six months to find him so the trial was almost a year after the rape. And I was nineteen then. Your age, I guess.”
“No wonder I didn’t know anything about it. I was in middle school then.”
“Well, Kiersten and I weren’t as close either. We didn’t become true friends until Carson was born and then when she moved back here, we just fell into a deeper relationship naturally. Regardless, the biggest thing I remember is how hard the trial was on me.” She looks off into space as if the memories are flashing through her mind. “I just wanted to move on with my life at that point and I couldn’t until the most public part was over.”
Tossing the rag aside, I lean in, curious about how she copes. “Did people try to make it your fault? Like asking why you didn’t do anything to stop it or whatever?”
“Oh yeah. My family and I stopped reading the news partly for that reason. We stayed far away from all of it. But remember, it was an overly sensationalized story too.” She raises her hand and begins absentmindedly running her finger over her bottom lip. “I was dating Jaxon who is famous for his own reasons—namely being the son of a football legend. And since he’s the one who found me and stopped the assault, it was easy to put two and two together on campus. Word got out quickly. My name was everywhere. It felt like everyone was out for blood. Saying things like I shouldn’t have left with… the guy or I should have worn a longer dress. Discouraging is an understatement.”
I’m shocked by this revelation. “That’s terrible. Why wouldn’t you leave with him? People leave with hookups here all the time after a night out. If he seemed nice how could you have known?”
“Oh honey no.” She drops her hand to mine briefly before pulling away. “I didn’t leave with him. He drugged me and played it off that I was his drunk girlfriend. They let him take me right back into the alley.”
I gasp, my hand flying to my cover my mouth, appalled that no one realized what was happening. That’s when I put together one of her quirks. “That’s why you always drink bottled water.”
She shakes the empty bottle at me. “I can open it myself and make sure it’s always closed. I can’t believe you never put that together.”
“I guess I never really thought about it. It just seems so… normal to everyone.”
“That’s because it is normal to everyone. Almost everyone surrounding you with support right now are the same people who surrounded me back then. It’s not the first time we’ve been prepared for a trial.”
I think over the timelines for a second, something not making sense. “Wait, even Paul?”
“He was Jaxon’s boss back then. He was there that night. I’m pretty sure he’s the one who called 911.”
My jaw drops making her smile at my disbelief.
“I know. Believe me, the randomness of it is nothing I haven’t thought of before. At some point, we’ll all stop coupling off I guess. But so far, it’s worked out okay for most of us.”
A blush creeps up my face as I think about who I could potentially pair up with and how he’s just across the apartment every single night. My reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by her.
“Ah. I see there is another potential coupling happen.”
“I don’t… He just… We’re…” I stumble.
Thankfully, she puts her hand over mine to stop me. “Stop. Whatever it is isn’t anyone else’s business. Besides, there’s a lot of stress on you right now. Everyone’s all up in your business and part of you wishes they would leave you alone but when they do you get kind of freaked out that they’re gone. Am I right?”
I nod again. She’s exactly right. I’m also kind of stunned by how open she’s being. I admire that something as significant as a rape doesn’t seem to have any control over her. She’s always here and she comes in on her own. She doesn’t care where she sits even when the teams are here. I wish I could feel that secure. I want to know how she did it. How she does it. And if there’s any hope for me to ever heal like that too.
“Does it ever get better?” I ask quietly. “I mean, I know it won’t ever go away totally. But like… do you still jump at unexpected noises or, or hyperventilate when you walk across the parking lot alone?”
“Up until the trial I felt like I was falling apart. It was awful. And even during the trial, Heath and Lauren had to stay at the apartment with us because I couldn’t calm down with just Jaxon there. But once the anticipation of what it would be like was over, part of that dissipated. It will always be part of me. It’s part of my story. But that chapter is over for the most part.”
“You think I’ll get there?”
She leans in and smiles at me. “I know you will. And I also know it’s okay to be feeling however you are while you wait to find out what happens from here.”
; “Well, last I heard they were looking at a plea deal so I’m not sure how I’m feeling.”
She taps her fingers on the counter. “I’m sure your thoughts are kind of all over the place.”
“I just don’t understand why they wouldn’t want him to go to jail, you know?” I raise my hands in exasperation. “Like, maybe if I’d promised to cooperate back then, it would be different or something. Did I mess it all up by waiting too long?”
“No.” She shakes her head vehemently “You can’t think that way. You needed time to be strong enough to go through this. You weren’t ready before. You are now. And honestly, you said he doesn’t have any type of criminal record, so I’m not all that surprised they’re trying to cut a deal. It sucks, but our legal system doesn’t care as much about the victims as they pretend.”
“I hate that. It makes me feel…”
“Worthless?”
My shoulders sag now that Annika’s nailed it. “Yeah. That’s exactly it. Like I’m not worth getting justice. I hate it.”
She nods in understanding. “It’s okay to feel that way, as long as you remember it’s not the truth. You do deserve justice. And we’re going to be here the whole way helping you get it.”
I glance down at the floor and realize there’s not much more that needs to be said, but I need to get back to work. “Thanks, Annika.”
“Any time. And I mean that,” she reiterates. “Even if you just want to process your thoughts or need to ask questions about what trial could be like. Call me.”
“I will. I’m gonna get back to work so we can get out of here.”
She covers her mouth with her hands as she yawns. “Yeah. Good idea.”
“Want another water while you wait?”
“Sure. Might wake me up just a bit.”
I hand her a fresh bottle and toss the old one, then get back to my cleaning. I’m a lot faster at closing than I used to be and soon enough Tammy and I are balancing the till and divvying out tips. She leaves with a smile on her face that I’m not sure if it’s from Alex escorting her to her car, or the money she left with. Knowing Tammy, it could go either way.