If You Cherish Me

by Ciara Knight

  Nana let out a long breath and eyed Declan washing dishes behind Felicia. “You know, sometimes the world isn’t fair. You of all people should know that. Like you, trying to keep your head high as people judged you because you were created by a mixed couple, he too faces judgment. Yes, you didn’t choose the life you were given, but it doesn’t mean he’s any less worthy of our kindness. You don’t have to marry him. Although, I didn’t want to say anything, but you’re not getting any younger.”

  “Seriously, I’m not even thirty.”

  “I know. You’d be a spinster in my day. I was married at sixteen. Of course, I had to run off and marry him without my parents knowing, since he’d been dishonorably discharged from the military. It didn’t matter that he was a good man. All people saw was that one blemish on his history.”

  “I didn’t know that about Grandpa.” Felicia shook her head. “I thought we didn’t keep things from each other.”

  “Wasn’t my story to tell.” Nana tried to shrug again. This time, her bad shoulder moved a little higher.

  Car lights shone through the front window, drawing Felicia to look out to see who was approaching. Irritation and relief fought for dominance at the sight of her truck approaching. “Great, Lacey’s back.”

  “You gonna fire her?” Nana said with grit in her tone. “That girl’s done taken advantage of you long enough.”

  Fluffy hissed at the door as if agreeing with Nana.

  Felicia took a deep breath and forced herself to face the truth that sometimes things had to get ugly before they got better. “No, but I’m going to demote her and let her know she has one last chance.”

  Lacey didn’t have an opportunity to knock on the door before Felicia opened it and stepped aside for her to enter. “Nice of you to return my truck before the sheriff picked you up for auto theft.”

  Lacey strutted into the middle of the room. “You’re so funny. Here’s your keys. I know I didn’t make it back in time for the town thingy, but it wasn’t my fault. The truck conked out on me.”

  “Really, all the way in Riverbend?”

  “What?” Lacey blinked, obviously shocked Felicia already knew the truth. Her eyes did that dance they did when she was trying to concoct a new lie. “I only ran over to pick up some help. I mean, there was no way I could do all that myself today.”

  “I’m sorry I asked too much of you. You obviously can’t handle the responsibilities of the job.” Felicia forced an even tone, not allowing herself to waiver. Stella would be proud of her. “Due to that reason, I’m going to demote you to office assistant. Your hours will be cut, and you’ll be on thirty days probation.”

  “That’s not fair,” Lacey whined. “I need the money.”

  Lacey wanted to pull her cousin into a hug and tell her it would be okay, but for once she knew being supportive wasn’t the answer. She’d tried that already. The perfect, honest, giving, hardworking young girl had changed since her boyfriend had entered her life. “I need someone who will do the work.”

  “Okay, I’ll do better.” Lacey dipped her chin to her chest and twirled her hair in her finger. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning to help with the planting.”

  Felicia wanted to believe her words, wanted to help her cousin, wanted the girl she once knew to return instead of this mixed up person that couldn’t even show up for work on time. The once dedicated, smart, reliable, vibrant girl had grown into a solemn, unreliable young adult. Felicia mourned the loss of that once true friend. “You’re not listening. I can’t wait for you to decide to show up sometime in the afternoon when I scheduled you to arrive at dawn.”

  “I’ll be here by nine, I promise.”

  “No. You’ll be here at seven to return phone calls and do office work for a few hours and then leave at two. I’ve hired someone else to be my right-hand man with all the other work. If this isn’t acceptable, there’s the door.” Felicia’s stomach churned, and she regretted eating those last few bites.

  “But there aren’t any other jobs.” Lacey’s voice hitched an octave higher, making her sound like a crying child.

  “I’ve tolerated your antics longer than most employers would. It’s time for you to grow up. You were once a responsible young woman I found irreplaceable, but now, you’re none of those things.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes. “You can’t do this. Mama said if I wasn’t in college and didn’t keep a job, she’d kick me out.”

  Felicia wanted to convince Lacey, the girl who took college level classes in high school to go to the university, but she’d refused. Felicia guessed it had less to do with her own wants and desires and more to do with her love for the wrong man. “Then I suggest you be on time tomorrow, or you’ll have to find a new job and a new place to live. Do you understand me?” Felicia asked, not expecting her to actually agree.

  “If I show you that I’m a hard worker, will you give me more hours?” Lacey asked. This time she actually did look sincere.

  “We’ll reevaluate after thirty days. That’s the best I can offer,” Felicia said in a firm tone, despite her insides melting due to nepotism.

  That’s when Declan arrived in the room, drying his hands on a towel. Lacey turned from sincere to flirtatious, returning to twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes.

  “Who’s this?” she asked, sauntering over to Declan with a sway to her hips that would make a prostitute look innocent.

  “I’m Declan. I was just hired on here to help out. Nice to meet you.”

  Lacey’s hand dropped from her hair, and she glowered at him. “So you’re the one who stole my job.”

  At that moment, Felicia saw the drama about to unfold in her living room, so she attempted to appease Lacey. “Actually, no, I need all the assistance I can get. I’ve hired Declan to help out with the heavy lifting while you work in the office. We both know you don’t like to mess up your manicure.”

  With only a huff, Lacey stomped out of the house, leaving Felicia unsure if she’d even return tomorrow. A car pulled into the drive. Lacey got in, and the wheels spun gravel before the car sped away.

  “Well, that was exhausting,” Nana said with a hand to her brow in a good southern swooning motion. “I’m turning in. Oh, Declan, would you mind helping Felicia with one more thing tonight?”

  “I’d be happy to,” Declan said, his eyes still planted on the door where Lacey had just run out.

  “Great. My television is acting up. Could you take a look at it? It’s all an old woman like me has during the long, lonely days here.”

  Felicia swallowed her guilt and hoped to do better for her grandmother.

  “Sure. What’s wrong with it?” he asked, eyeing the old set.

  “I don’t know. You’ll have to watch it to find out.” Nana retrieved an old DVD from her five-shelf collection and handed it to Declan. “You’ll need to watch for about twenty minutes before you’ll see the problem.” Nana hurried out of the room, leaving Declan and Felicia alone.

  Declan rounded the coffee table, as if to put distance between them. “I have a sneaking suspicion there’s nothing wrong with the television.”

  “Why’s that?”

  Declan handed her the DVD, and in large print on the back, she read, Innocent ex-con saved by the love of a small-town girl.

  He let out a long breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Something tells me you’re not the only person I need to convince that I’m no good for you.”

  Eight

  The sun had never looked so beautiful. It rose above the weeping willow at the front of Felicia’s property. Declan sat on the roof of his camper and watched the glorious spectacle of tangerine and rose–colored streams in the sky. Not even on the roof of his twelve-story downtown flat had he ever seen anything as beautiful.

  This day. A new day filled with opportunity he didn’t have yesterday made him appreciate the cool wind drifting through the tree branches of the large maple. He’d parked between the house and the tree where Felicia had instructed. Little did he
know at the time that this was the best spot on the property.

  Declan sipped his bitter coffee, but he didn’t care. Camp beverages were his new norm. No more uppity, overpriced frou-frou café concoctions to start his day. Besides, he’d kicked that habit while incarcerated. It wasn’t like anyone made him a latte before he cleaned the dishes and scrubbed the floors.

  “Good morning. Can I come up?” Felicia’s voice drew his attention to the front walk where she stood in her work pants and crimson t-shirt holding two cups of coffee. “I brought you something, but it looks like you already made your own.”

  “Oh, I’ll take it.” He abandoned his mug to the top of the camper next to his seat and shot out of his lawn chair to the ladder. “Pass them up and you can join me. That is, if we have time before work starts. I wasn’t sure on the schedule, so I set my alarm for five.”

  She held up the two cups to him and then climbed to the roof. “Sorry about that. I should’ve given you specific work hours. I’m not used to Lacey showing before noon, and I’m usually up before anyone else to feed the animals.”

  “No worries at all. I like to be up early to work out and have some quiet reflection time.” Declan took a sip of smooth, caffeinated bliss and unfolded the lawn chair with the broken seat he’d pulled out this morning and directed Felicia to the good one. “I found some dog food, and since the pups were animated I thought it might be feeding time, so I gave them a scoop from the bag and took the bucket I thought was slop to the pig. The donkey hasn’t been fed yet. I wasn’t sure what he ate.”

  “Wow, you’re a hard worker. I’m sure Petunia, our pig, appreciated you feeding her early. She gets cranky if I feed her too late. Our donkey, Donald, isn’t so picky.” She looked around for a moment at the view atop of the camper. “I’ll let you enjoy your break. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Felicia took a step toward the ladder.

  Despite not wanting to get close to Felicia romantically, her company was a divine gift and he didn’t want to let it go yet. “You’re not bothering me at all, really,” he said in a tone he could only describe as desperate for her to stay. He cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t want you to miss this sunrise.”

  She glanced over her shoulder and then sat down in the indicated lawn chair and lifted her coffee to rest it in her hands with the brim under her nose. “You make it sound like the best sunrise ever.” Her hair wasn’t pulled back like it had been when he’d seen her working. The long strands were shiny and framed her high cheekbones, but when she glanced down into her cup and the hair fell over her face, he longed to pull it back so he could see her beautiful eyes.

  “It is. Look.” He pointed at the mountains on the horizon. “The colors are vibrant.” He took a sip of his coffee, a much better concoction than what he’d made with instant grounds and barely hot water.

  She leaned back in the chair and watched the sun rise a little higher, taking a sip of her coffee every so often. “I didn’t know how you liked your coffee,” she said after a moment. “I can go get some cream and sugar for you if you like.”

  “No, this is perfect. I’m used to bitter and old, so this is a far improvement from my norm.”

  They sat only inches apart, but it was a safe enough distance for him to realize he didn’t need to keep a ten-foot wall up between them. Perhaps a three-foot space would do. Certainly that was a safe distance for physical attraction.

  They needed a friendship, one that was pleasant but not too intimate. After all, he’d be working with her for however long she’d keep him on. This would be good when he reported to his parole officer next week.

  “How’s your grandmother this morning? I was going to go in and make breakfast for you both, but I decided not to intrude. Perhaps if we set up a schedule, I could make the meals. If you give me a time that you’re up and can let me inside.”

  “I’m not paying you to make meals. No need to feel like you have to do more than your job.”

  “I want to. I like to stay busy. Not much to do hanging in a camper all evening. I mean, I read when I have a good book, exercise, and such.”

  “That’s how you stay so fit.” She swept her hair behind her shoulder, revealing a tinge of pink on her face. “I mean, you stay in shape.”

  “I try.” He wanted to tell her the same. That working in a nursery was obviously keeping her small, curvy figure perfect, but that would make things more awkward. He needed this job, so he needed to keep his focus on what was important. Not on the exotically beautiful, kind-hearted woman like none other he’d met prior. He’d found one or the other quality in women before but not a combination of them both. “We should get to work. I don’t want to sit around when I can be helping. What needs to get done first? And don’t go easy on me. You can’t scare me off.”

  “Not with hard labor anyway.” Her remark settled in the air between them like an elephant in ballet slippers wearing a fuchsia tutu.

  “Felicia.” He closed his eyes, battling between wanting to make her smile and wanting to protect her from the life he’d fallen into. “I-I didn’t mean to offend you in any way.”

  “Relax. Let’s get to work.” She shot up and headed for the ladder, but he sensed her irritation and he didn’t like it.

  He snagged her arm but let go just as quickly. The words he wanted to say, the compliments, the endearments, the affection all trapped in his throat, and they were better off for that. “You’re right. We need to get to work.”

  There were no other words between them until they got to work. In fact, they barely spoke all morning except for Felicia directing him where to move the bags of soil and mulch. How to prune a bush and when to water which plant.

  The silence nearly drove him to confess his attraction before an olive green car came charging down the front drive. It slid to a halt, and Lacey hopped out of the passenger side before the driver sped off once more. Declan glanced at his watch to see she was over five hours late.

  She sauntered up to where Felicia was on her knees transferring plants from containers to the field. Declan wanted to march over and tell the girl she was taking advantage of a kind woman, but he kept his nose down and focused on irrigating the new lines Felicia would be planting tomorrow.

  “You’re late,” Felicia said in a tone Declan hadn’t heard before out of her.

  “I’m not late. You said that I wouldn’t be doing anything but office work, and you work outside all morning.” Lacey looked down at her impractical heeled sandals and then at Felicia as if her attire explained everything.

  “I told you to be here at seven. It’s now after noon. Go home. Return when you’re ready to work at the time I tell you to work. If not, don’t come back.” Felicia continued to tug weeds from the ground and didn’t even give Lacey a sideways glance. But the way her shoulders were near her ears and her arms were tense told Declan she struggled with saying these things.

  “I can’t leave. I don’t have a ride. And you know my cell doesn’t work out here in the sticks.” Lacey said that as if she was above even standing on the dirty ground beneath her. “I guess I’ll take the truck.”

  “No, you’ll go in the house and call your boyfriend to come get you. He can’t be that far away yet.”

  Lacey huffed. “You serious? He has things to do. He’s not going to come get me right now.”

  Felicia set her small shovel down and wiped her brow. “That should tell you something about your choice in boyfriends.”

  “You’ve never liked him. That’s what this is about.” Lacey squared herself into a fighting stance in front of Felicia.

  Declan stood on the sidelines, wanting to run interference.

  “If your boyfriend won’t return for you, then call your mother.” She looked up at Lacey in a way that brooked no room for an argument.

  Lacey spun toward the house with a double huff and marched across the lawn, not even careful to mind the flowers planted along the front walk. Declan wanted to escort her off the property like he had in his college bouncer days.r />
  The way Felicia sat with her palms pressed to her thighs and her head down told him it wasn’t natural for her to be that direct, but she wouldn’t let people walk all over her. She was a good woman. “You did the right thing,” he mumbled but kept his attention on retrieving another bag of soil, opening it, and pouring it into the pre-dug holes.

  “I know. It doesn’t make it any easier. Sometimes we have to work hard to maintain boundaries, even when they’re not easy.”

  “Why don’t you just fire her for good?” Declan blurted before he remembered it wasn’t his place to ask.

  “Because sometimes the boundaries that are hardest to establish are the ones worth the most effort. That young girl has been through a lot, and she’s a wiz with numbers. She’s strong and smart and was by my side after my grandmother had her stroke. Without her, this place would’ve gone under. I’m not good with the books.” She removed a glove, wiped her brown and tossed a glance at the front of the house. “Her biggest fault is in her choice of men. One man, actually. I hate to see her waste her life. That being said, it’s ultimately her decision. She’s eighteen now, and it’s time for her to take responsibility.”

  He couldn’t help but think there was a deeper meaning to her words. Was she talking about their boundaries as worker and boss being more, or was it wishful thinking, despite what he knew to be the right decision?

  She kept eyeing the front door, and he knew she was worried about Lacey inside. “Tell you what. I’d like to whip up some lunch for you and your mother. Since I’m done with this row, why don’t I go get started? I’ll wash up and make some pressed sandwiches. Sound good?”

  “Sounds delicious. I usually eat some carrots or some chips to tide me over until dinner.”

  He dumped the remaining soil out of the bag, rolled up the plastic, and placed it in the recycling bin. “Not while I’m around. As long as I’m here, you’ll be well taken care of.” The words slipped out before he realized what he’d said, but instead of making it more awkward by trying to explain what he’d meant, he went inside the house to find Lacey digging through a drawer at the desk next to the kitchen. “What’re you doing?”