If You Cherish Me

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If You Cherish Me Page 9

by Ciara Knight


  He sat on the ground, eyeing the field and enjoying the peace it provided.

  “Wow, you’ve done a lot. And the way you spread the mulch is perfect. How did you know?”

  “Book.” One word. That’s all he could manage if he didn’t want to lose his temper, demanding to know if the verdict was in. How had one little job become so important to him? Yes, he needed it so that he could pay restitution, but it had become more than that in a short time. He’d enjoyed the physical aspect of the work, watching the plants he’d fertilized bloom, and the company he’d kept. After living within gray walls, in gray cells, in gray uniforms, the colors were like medicine to his cancerous soul.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Her voice sounded delicate, as if she feared he’d bolt if she spoke with too much authority.

  “You’re the boss.”

  “Why did you say that your mother hated you? I don’t believe you.” She settled by his side, resting her hand on his thigh. “You’re always trying to push everyone away, even when you want things to work out. At least, I think you want to stay here. Sometimes I can’t tell.”

  “I do.” He looked at her face only inches from his own. Captivating was the word that popped into his head. More so than the flowers or the trees or the sunshine.

  “Then tell me, why do you keep pushing me away, trying to drive a wedge between us and force me to send you away?” Her mouth quivered with a slight vibration. Did she care that much?

  He tore his gaze from hers, unable to face the fact he’d ever cause her the most minuscule of discomforts, but she needed to know. He’d slipped and allowed himself to believe there could be something between them. He moved to a sack to empty it over the next section of plants. “It’s true. She hated me because I was convicted of embezzling the money from my father’s company and caused him to have a heart attack and die. The stress was too much for him.”

  For the longest of moments, he waited for her argument. Once he’d dumbed the bag and spread the organic bits around the trunks of the thriving plants, he stood, clapped his hands to free them of the remnants, and forced himself to face her. He didn’t have to look far. She was there. Next to him, mouth ajar and the sweetest of expressions on her face.

  “I understand now. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure this out, but I know.”

  He stiffened. “You know what?”

  “That it wasn’t you. I mean, I always knew you didn’t commit the crime, but I couldn’t figure out why you took the fall. Now I know.”

  “What? No, you couldn’t know. How?” he stammered.

  She touched his face with her fingers, tracing along his jawline and then down to his chin. He couldn’t breathe beyond the confusion of her words and her closeness. Two years was a long time for a man to be away from women. And almost thirty years was too long to be far from Felicia. Her eyes softened and she bit her pink lip, as if she feared her words were true or, worse, false. “You went to jail to protect your parents.”

  He sucked in a quick breath.

  “I’m right. I know I’m right.” She clutched both his cheeks between her palms, her gaze trapping his. “Your father. Yes, you did it to protect your father. I haven’t figured out why, but I know I’m right.”

  “How do you know?”

  She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his ear. “Because I know you’re a good man. You’re the best man I’ve ever met.”

  And with those words, she turned him inside out and backwards, offering him possibilities. Possibilities he hadn’t dared believe in until now.

  The possibility of Felicia in his life.

  Fifteen

  The noises in the garden faded into a blur. Felicia brushed her lips along Declan’s salty cheek, slid along his jawline, and hovered near his lips. The overwhelming desire to kiss this vulnerable, strong, sensitive, selfless man took hold, so she brushed the corner of his mouth.

  He lurched back and held her at arm’s length. “Wait. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters if I put a rift between you and your friends. I won’t be the cause of ruining your life. There are too many women who already hate me in this world.”

  “Stay.”

  “What? Is that what Stella and Carissa said? Did they agree that I wouldn’t ruin your life?”

  “Do you care for me?”

  He shook his head, but not as if saying no, more in confusion. “What?”

  “It’s a simple question. Answer it.”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters more to me than if my friends approve,” she said with an air of frustration.

  “It’s a problem if your friends have an issue with me.” He laced his fingers behind his head and looked toward the sky.

  “Why?” She lowered to her feet flat on the grass.

  He closed the distance this time. “Because your happiness means more than any job to me.”

  She blinked, processing his words but wanting more. “Why?”

  “I want you to be happy, and I don’t want to bring any more trouble to you. You’ve been more than kind to a stranger. You’ve given me a place to put my camper, allowed me into your home.”

  “You’re no longer a stranger. I know you.” She longed to make him see how much of a gift he was to her.

  “Aren’t I? I mean, you haven’t known me long, yet I’ve put a rift between you and your friends.”

  “I see.” She took a step back. “If that’s all you care about, then yes, you can stay. You’ve got the stamp of approval from Stella and Carissa.” She about-faced and headed to the office.

  “Wait, what’s wrong?” he asked, following two steps behind her through the cobblestone walkway to the office.

  “Nothing. We’re good. I’m your boss, you can stay, and all is right.”

  “It doesn’t sound right.”

  He remained in the doorway while she went inside to shift papers around and grumble about how Lacey hadn’t shown yet today. He had to see how much better he made things around here.

  “I have one more question,” he asked in a deep tone.

  She dropped the papers and huffed. “What’s that?”

  “Do you want me here?”

  His words sat in the air along with the dust and pollen and fear. “If that’s what you want, then yes.”

  He took one step that took him to the center of the room. His bare chest radiated heat, or was that her heart? “That’s not what I asked.”

  His chin rose, his muscles tightened.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I want you to stay.”

  “Then I’ll stay,” he said with a broad smile that reached his eyes.

  “Great. Glad that’s settled.”

  “Not quite.”

  She arched a brow. “What else is there to discuss?”

  “This.” He closed the distance between them and took hold of her face, guiding her onto her toes as he arched down over her. His lips pressed to hers. Her body erupted into a series of heartwarming palpitations from her toes to her chest. Her knees shook, and her mind trembled with thoughts of happily ever after. She’d never felt so treasured, worshiped, alive.

  It was a sweet, I-cherish-you kind of kiss, yet it awakened her in a way no other man had.

  He moved his lips away, but his hands remained firm and his forehead rested to hers.

  She couldn’t open her eyes, fearing he’d run if she did. And she didn’t want him to ever run from her again.

  “I know I’m being selfish, that you deserve so much better than me.”

  “No.” She opened her eyes and grabbed his shirt so he couldn’t run.

  He smiled and his thumb grazed her lips, distracting her from any further words. “But…but when you pulled away, I didn’t like it. As if one cross word from you would destroy me. No woman has ever had such power over me before. I’ve never met a woman, any person, with so much heart and bravery. Those school kids who once teased you were right about one thing. You’re one of a kind. You’re the
most giving, caring, strongest person I know.” His breath caressed her lips with the promise of another kiss. “You’re uniquely beautiful. God made you special, and you should own that.”

  “I knew you were trying to force me out.”

  Lacey’s words shattered the most perfect moment in Felicia’s life. She wanted to scold Lacey for her intrusion, especially since she was due at work hours ago.

  Felicia hadn’t heard a car or dogs barking. She’d been lost in all that was Declan Mills. Apparently, he had been too, the way he jumped too far from Felicia. When he bolted from her side, the evidence of why Lacey had been late was etched in dark purple and red crusted blood around her right eye and lips.

  Felicia went to Lacey’s side, despite her desire to remain with Declan, who faded into the shadows. “What happened? Were you in an accident?”

  “No. You did this!” Lacey’s words were bitter and wounded.

  Declan moved into the light, his gaze animalistic. “Who did this to you?”

  “Who?” Felicia looked closer and could see the yellowish outline of knuckles on her cheek.

  “You did. I yelled at Jason that I needed this job.” Tears fell from Lacey’s eyes, streaming down her face.

  “He did this?” Felicia asked, still unable to comprehend the markings a man put on her face.

  “It’s your fault. You told me I’d be fired if I wasn’t here at seven in the morning. Jason doesn’t get up until eight. I knew this, but I pushed for you.”

  Lacey crumpled in front of them. Declan caught her before her knees hit the ground and settled her into the desk chair. When he stood to the side, Felicia saw something in Declan she didn’t think was possible—a look of pure hate. He snagged the keys from the hook with a murderous expression narrowed at the door and his feet already moving. “I need to borrow the truck.”

  Felicia was caught between holding Lacey up in the chair and charging after Declan. “Wait, you can’t. You’re on probation. Let the police handle this.” Her words fell somewhere between the doorway and Declan’s ears, because she heard the truck rev to life and spin on the gravel. If he was fast enough, he’d catch him on the one road out of town. In that moment, she knew her hopes and dreams were being crushed under those tires.

  Felicia slid her phone from her pocket and called Stella. The one girl who might understand this situation.

  “Hey, you already decide to dump the guy?”

  “He’s going after Jason.”

  “What?”

  “Lacey’s boyfriend. She showed up here beaten and bruised by her boyfriend, and something in Declan snapped. I don’t know what to do. The way he looked, I can’t explain it, but it scared me.”

  “Hold on a second.” Stella covered her phone and mumbled something for a few seconds before returning. “I’m on it. Don’t worry. You stay with Lacey.”

  “I know you don’t like Declan. You think he’s not good enough for me, but please, promise me you’ll stop him from doing anything stupid.”

  “I like Declan fine. As for who is good enough for you? No one. If this is the man you care about, I’ll help. Don’t worry. I’ve got this.” The phone went dead, and if Felicia didn’t know better, the fact that Declan had run off half-cocked was something Stella could respect. And if anyone knew how to handle a temper, it was Stella.

  Lacey finally stopped sobbing enough for Felicia to get her out of the chair and take her inside the house, where Nana stood at the window with her cane. “What’s going on?”

  She pursed her lips at the sight of Lacey. “Oh, you poor dear. Come sit.” She scooted out of the way of the couch and plopped down, patting the seat next to her. “Tell Nana everything. I’m here now.” She took Lacey into her arms and held her the way only grandmothers could. “You go after Declan,” she told Felicia. “I’ve got Lacey. She and I need to have a conversation about life choices. I’ve got a story to share with her that might help.”

  “I don’t have a car.” Felicia looked to the window. “Declan took my truck.”

  “You’ve got friends, don’t you?”

  “Right.” She slid her phone out of her pocket and texted Carissa. I need a ride to town ASAP. Please help.

  She didn’t have to even wait for a response. Three dots danced instantly.

  Drew is on his way. Stella filled us in.

  Felicia looked at Nana and Lacey and felt led to say one more thing before leaving, so she knelt in front of them and rubbed Lacey’s back. “Listen, I didn’t know how bad things were with Jason, but I should have. I miss the girl I once knew before he came into your life.”

  “Miss me? You’ve been too busy for me,” she said in a bitter tone.

  Felicia knew her words came from pain and embarrassment. She was only lashing out because the man she thought she loved betrayed her. Something no woman ever wanted to face.

  “I’m here now.”

  “No, you’re running off again, after him. You care more about an ex-con than me. I thought we were like sisters.”

  And with that, Felicia realized she could be compassionate but also firm. She stood and looked down at Lacey from a motherly, authoritative angle. “Then, as your big sister, I’m going to give it to you straight. Your choice to be with that man is what is driving a wedge between you and everyone else. I love you like a sister, that’s true. And that’s why I’m not going to tolerate you being abused by the man. That’s why I’m leaving. Not only to go after Declan but to make sure that Jason stays far away from you.”

  “No, wait. That isn’t fair. He loves me, and he said he was sorry. He doesn’t do well when he’s woken up early, especially after a night out drinking with the boys.”

  Felicia looked to her grandmother, who nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll start some reprogramming while you’re away. I know exactly how she feels. My first husband was a man who chose to communicate with his fists.”

  Felicia blinked at her, opened her mouth and then shut it again.

  “We all have regrets in our past,” Nana said with an undertone of deeper meaning. “But this is a story for another day. Right now, I think your ride is here. Go get Declan and bring him home.” Nana waved her bad arm a little higher than she normally did.

  Declan had been good for her. She’d been getting herself up and feeding herself since his arrival. That man was something special, and she wasn’t about to lose him, but at the same time, looking down at Lacey made her second-guess Declan and the way he took off. Was he, too, a man prone to violence after living in prison for two years? That had to change a man, even the best of men.

  Even Declan.

  Sixteen

  A sign flashed fifty-two miles. Underneath it read speed limit thirty-five. Declan moved his foot to the brake, forced to obey the speed limit if he didn’t want a ticket. A ticket that could send him to jail while on probation. The one good thing about the law of speed meant a man had time to cool off.

  What had happened to him? Since when did he erupt like that? The sight of the young girl stirred something in him. The idea of any man causing such pain, especially someone close to Felicia, broke him.

  When he pulled into the town square, the flowers Felicia had planted in the center calmed his anger to a simmer, but Jason still had to be dealt with. The image of the younger man’s fist print on Lacey’s face gutted him. He pushed on the gas and turned right onto the street heading toward Riverbend, sure he’d catch Jason on the on the way or once he arrived.

  Stella and Knox stood in the center of the road holding up their hands, as if they could stop a half-ton truck with their bodies. He hit the brake, squealing to a stop, and hopped out. “What’re you doing? I could’ve hit you!”

  “What are you doing?” Stella marched at him, but Knox took hold of her arm. “You’re freaking Felicia out. And right after I gave my stamp of approval for you.”

  “I’m not going to harm the guy.”

  “Really?” Stella asked in a more thickened accent than normal. “So, you’re not runn
ing off full of hate? You’ve thought this through, and you’re just going to have a friendly chat with the man?”

  He cleared his throat and lifted his chin. “Right. A firm chat.”

  “Then you might want to put on a shirt.” Knox pointed at his bare chest.

  Declan had been so riled up that he didn’t even realize he’d run off without getting dressed first. It was as if he was back in jail. He’d changed over those years into a man he didn’t recognize at times. This was one of those moments. He’d always been put together, calm, sane.

  He leaned against the side of the truck and ran his hands through his sweaty hair, realizing he probably smelled as bad as he looked. “I didn’t mean to scare Felicia, but you should see that young girl with bruises and cuts.”

  Knox released Stella and slapped him on the shoulder. “I have no doubt any man would’ve done the same.”

  “But you’re not any man. You’re a man with a record,” Stella said with no soothing adjectives or smiles. “That’s the fact. Whether you did or didn’t commit the crime, you’re at the mercy of the courts, and I personally don’t want my best friend pining over some man in prison because he committed assault while on probation, so get your act together.”

  “I thought I had.” He shook his head and eyed the soil stuck to his stomach and shorts. “Something inside me clicked the second I saw her, and it was like a battle call. You were right all along Stella. Felicia shouldn’t be with me. I’m a man still fighting his way through life as if I’m still in prison.”

  “I think you’re being too hard on yourself,” Knox said. “Most men would’ve felt the same way. Trust me, Drew and I both want to go visit this guy, and we didn’t even see Lacey. As a matter of fact, maybe the three of us can go pay him a social call, but first, let’s find out if she’s willing to press charges. If she is, we’ll let the police handle it and we’ll help her get a restraining order. If not, then we’ll pay him a visit. Deal?” He held out his hand, as if Declan was worthy of his approval.

 

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