“I loved all my sisters, but Judy had a special place in my heart. She was almost two when my stepdad died, and she looked at me like a father figure. I found her body first, and what Lucifer did to her…”
I looked at the wall as the memory caused my eyes to burn; I feared I might choke on the lump in my throat. I volunteered to keep my family safe, and I’d failed them. If I hadn’t volunteered, if I’d been there…
If I’d been there, I’d be dead too. I never could have stopped all the fallen angels and demons who descended on them. I would have died for them, and they still would have died too. And if I hadn’t volunteered, one or all of us might have starved to death, or I could have been caught stealing and been killed.
I’d done the right thing when I volunteered, but I’d always regret not being there for them at the end.
I never heard Aisling move, but the heat of her palm branded my arm when she rested it against my skin.
“I’m… I’m—” And because she couldn’t find any other words, she repeated what she’d already said twice to me. “—sorry.”
I hated her pity, but I couldn’t deny her touch. I grasped her hand and held it as she stared at me with tears in her eyes.
“Don’t cry for me, Aisling, and don’t feel sorry for me,” I said as I wiped away the tear sliding down her cheek. “So many lost a lot when the gateway opened. I had more time with my family than a lot of other people got to experience with theirs.”
“It’s still not right.”
“We wouldn’t be here if everything in the world went right.” I squeezed her hand again before releasing it and smiling at her to soften my next words. “No more touching.”
She gave me a sad smile before taking her hand away. She muttered, “Stupid rule,” as she walked away, and I almost laughed but didn’t bother to remind her she’d been the one to set it.
Settling back into the chair, she drew her legs up against her chest again. When she looked away from me, I saw her wipe away another tear.
“Is there anything else you’d like to know about me, Aisling?”
“I’m sure there’s a lot more to learn about you, Hawk, but I think that’s enough for now.”
“So it’s my turn to ask the questions?”
“It’s your turn.”
Chapter Fifteen
Aisling
“Where are you from?” Hawk asked.
“Virginia.”
“How old were you when you volunteered?”
I suspected his rapid-fire questions were a way to distract him from the bad memories I dredged up with my questions. I wanted to kick myself in the ass for the sadness in his eyes. It took all I had not to rest my hand over my heart and sob for the family he lost.
“Eighteen,” I said. “I was going to volunteer at sixteen, but my mom begged me to wait until I was eighteen, so I did. We weren’t bad off after the war. I mean, things weren’t great by any means, but my dad was a hunter and fisherman, and we lived in a pretty rural area, so we got by on game and fish.
“I’d only gone hunting with a bow a few times before then as my mom didn’t think I was old enough to handle a rifle. We used to fight over it, not because I was in a rush to go in the woods and kill things, but because I was eager to learn how to use a gun. She didn’t argue about it after the war, and though I was finally getting a chance to learn how to shoot, I wasn’t excited about it anymore.”
“Why were you so eager to leave home if things weren’t bad there?”
“Because before the war, all I wanted was to travel the world. I planned to join the Marines and serve my country while going to different places. I never wanted kids, so I planned to be career military, and when I retired, I was going to travel to all the places I didn’t see while serving.”
“You don’t want kids?”
“No. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but they were never part of my plan. However…” I tried to think how to explain it to him. “I think before the gateway opened, not wanting kids was more about being young and only thinking about freedom. The last thing I wanted was a child tying me down, but I might have changed my mind. And now it’s about… well, look at this world. This is no place for children.”
“Maybe not right now,” he said, “but we’re going to make it a world for them, and if the human world is going to continue, then children are necessary.”
“Rebuilding the population isn’t a reason to have children.”
“Then what is?”
I bit my lip as I pondered this. “I guess there are many reasons, but for me, it would be love and having enough trust in someone to believe they would always be there for our children and me.”
“Those are good reasons.”
And there were a lot more reasons not to have children, something I’d have to be more aware of now that I’d found my Chosen. Sex and life were a lot simpler when the guy I was with couldn’t get me pregnant. I rested my chin on my knee and studied Hawk. I bet he’d make a fantastic dad, but if finding my Chosen hadn’t been in my plans, then having children wasn’t even on my radar, especially after yesterday.
I suppressed a shudder as images of the battle and blood-soaked field played through my mind. If the craetons succeeded in getting past us, the children of this world wouldn’t exist. Closing my eyes, I swallowed the lump in my throat. I may not want kids of my own, but I’d kill over and over again to keep them from ever having to witness something like what happened yesterday.
“So, you volunteered so you could travel to the wall?” Hawk asked.
I focused on him to keep from being lost in the screams of yesterday. As I stared into his indigo eyes, the sounds of steel clashing against steel and the flashes of blood dimmed until I could breathe normally again.
“This place isn’t exactly the Great Wall or the pyramids, but it’s not my hometown either. And I’ve done some traveling since coming to the wall, not much, but Massachusetts isn’t Virginia. Not to mention, I’ve met creatures from Hell and become one of them, so things are a lot different than they once were.”
“I see.”
“I volunteered to go into the Wilds,” I said. “I’m one of the troops who is supposed to be returning with you.”
Who knew what would happen now that there were a lot fewer troops to guard the wall.
“The Wilds are dangerous,” he said.
“So is the wall.”
“Not like the Wilds. There are things out there that no one has seen in thousands of years.”
“And I’m going to fight them. After yesterday, I don’t think there are any Hell creatures left that could surprise me.”
He glanced away from me to stare at the window to my right. “Believe me, there are. I’ve been to Hell, I’ve seen a lot of what it had to offer, and I’m still amazed by what we encounter in the Wilds. You’re safer here.”
His words intrigued me far too much for me to acknowledge the last part of his sentence. “You’ve been in Hell?”
“I went in with River.”
They were friends, but it was still weird to hear him use the queen’s name in such a casual way. “What was it like?”
“It’s what you’d imagine Hell to be like—hot, gruesome, full of monsters and spirits, but there was also something beautiful about it.”
“So it was like Earth, except we have seasons.”
A small smile quirked the corners of his mouth, but sadness shone in his beautiful eyes. “I guess so. There was a forest in Hell with these trees that came alive; it was so terrifying and magical. Those trees are some of the deadliest things I’ve ever seen, but they were also gentle and protective of the nymphs and River. They’re amazing, and some of them made it to Earth. Have you seen the calamut trees yet?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You would know.”
I should hear about deadly trees and want to stay far away, but I found myself intrigued. Before I could ask him anything more, a board squeaked in the hall before a knock so
unded on the door.
“It’s time to get up, Hawk. We have to meet Kobal in an hour,” Vargas said.
* * *
Aisling
Erin sat at the table with a plate of toast in front of her and a glass of orange juice. I’d seen the woman a few times in town, but she hadn’t joined us when Vargas started training again. I had seen her working with the queen and the queen’s brothers before Vargas returned to training, but it had been a good month or so since I last saw her.
She smiled at us when we entered the kitchen, and I couldn’t help but admire how radiant her soul was. Erin pushed back her chair and rose to hug Hawk. I focused on the toast as I ignored the twinge of jealousy their embrace caused. They were just friends, but I didn’t like anyone touching him. I almost groaned when I realized how much the Chosen bond was messing with my head, but I stopped myself.
My stomach rumbled when Vargas tossed some more bacon on the stove and it sizzled. I could go days without food if I fed on wraiths, but the scents in this kitchen were close to making me drool as I recalled how good food tasted.
I stared at Vargas’s soul as he flipped the bacon. It wasn’t as vibrant as Erin’s, but it was strong and had a streak of red like Hawk’s. Their souls were a good combination; whereas Erin’s came across as warm and open, Vargas’s was more reserved, but they tempered each other nicely.
“I’m glad you’re okay after yesterday.” Erin kept hold of Hawk’s arms as she pulled away to examine him. “That was a vicious battle.”
“You saw?” he asked.
“I may have snuck out to watch some of it from the wall,” she said, and Vargas grunted in disapproval.
When Erin released him and stepped away, I spotted the ball of golden light in her belly and barely managed to stop myself from exclaiming aw! The baby’s soul flashed brighter with every beat of its tiny heart. Erin’s stomach had a slight roundness to it that I wouldn’t have noticed if not for the soul inside her. With as radiant as Erin’s soul was, she could have been pregnant the last time I saw her too, but her glow covered the baby.
This was why she’d been in the hall with the children and why she wasn’t training with us. I understood why Hawk was so confused by her not being a part of the battle; he didn’t know about the baby yet.
“At least more of the horsemen are dead,” Erin said as she sat at the table again and lifted a piece of toast.
“And most of their troops have to be dead,” Vargas said as he removed the bacon from the stove.
“I don’t know,” Hawk said. “I don’t even know where they all came from as we’ve cleared a fair amount of the Wilds. And for them to have attacked us with so many at the wall, they had to have been hiding somewhere.”
“But where?” Vargas asked.
“In the Abyss,” Erin said.
“No, Amalia and the jinn still have control over the Abyss,” Hawk said.
“What is the Abyss?” I asked.
“It’s a separate plane ruled by the jinn,” Hawk answered. “But we took it back from the horsemen and the jinn who sided with them.”
“There are still some jinn fighting for the other side,” Vargas said. “Maybe they’ve taken it back from Amalia and Magnus.”
“No,” Hawk said. “They’d send word if they lost control, and it’s only been a couple of weeks since we last saw them. There is no way the horsemen gathered and moved that many troops into the Abyss in such a short time. They’ve been amassing those demons all year and hiding them somewhere.”
“But where?” I asked.
Hawk ran his fingers through his hair and tugged at the ends of it. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe they’ve discovered another plane, like the Abyss,” Erin suggested.
“Or maybe there’s something else out there entirely,” I said.
“Whatever it is, we have to find it, and them, before they can recover enough to come at us again,” Hawk said.
“I didn’t see any jinn yesterday,” Vargas told them.
“Neither did I,” Hawk said.
The crackle of the bacon was the only sound in the kitchen. I shifted as I tried to think of where the horsemen and angels could have been hiding, but I didn’t know the Wilds, and I certainly didn’t know anything about different planes.
“They must have believed they were strong enough to move against us,” Hawk said as he pulled out a chair and looked to me.
I stared at him for too long before figuring out he was holding the chair for me. “Oh, thank you,” I said as I sat.
“Would you like anything?” Vargas asked us.
“No,” Hawk said.
“I wouldn’t mind some toast, bacon, and coffee,” I said.
Erin coughed as she choked on her toast, and Vargas turned to stare at me. Erin sipped her orange juice before speaking. “I’m sorry, I thought you were a demon.”
“I am, but I was once a human, and sometimes I still eat.”
“Interesting,” Erin murmured as she studied me.
“I can get it,” I said as I started to rise.
Vargas waved me down. “I’ve got it.”
I started to protest, but he was already pouring coffee into a mug for me.
“How do you take it?” he asked.
“Just a little milk,” I said.
“So are you like Hawk?” Erin asked.
“No.” I took the warm mug Vargas handed me and blew on it before taking a sip. “I didn’t know, until recently, that I have a demon ancestor. The opening of the gateway activated their DNA. Then, one day, I stopped aging and started setting things on fire.”
“That must have been a surprise,” Vargas said.
“A tiny one,” I said with a smile.
“Are you returning to the Wilds with us?” Hawk asked the couple.
Erin and Vargas exchanged a look as he placed a plate of toast before me. I pulled the butter dish over and kept my eyes focused on it as I spread some on the toast. It wasn’t my place to tell Hawk about the baby, but it felt weird knowing something about his close friends that he didn’t.
“No,” Erin finally said. “We planned to see this battle through until the end, but” —her hand fell to her belly, and she grinned at Hawk— “we’re going to have a baby.”
The tick of a clock in another room resonated through the house as Hawk stared at her before laughing loudly and rising. Before Erin could react, he picked her up and crushed her against him. When he set her back on her feet, she looked like she might throw up, but Hawk didn’t notice as he turned and embraced Vargas. They slapped each other on the back as Hawk congratulated him.
“Congratulations,” I said.
“Thank you; it’s still early, and we’re a little afraid…” Her voice trailed off as she rested her hand on her belly. “We’re fourteen weeks, so we’re past the twelve-week mark; things should be okay—no, they will be okay.”
Her apprehension was evident in her voice and face as she rubbed her stomach. I opened my mouth to tell her the baby was a strong, vital piece of life within her, but stopped myself. It might reassure her, but I doubted anyone wanted to hear a stranger tell them how glowing their fetus was. Instead, I nibbled at my toast and tried to go unnoticed while they discussed their plans for the baby and this house.
“Congratulations to you too,” Erin said.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked when I realized she was speaking to me.
She waved a hand at her neck before gesturing toward mine, and I realized she was pointing at the bites Hawk left on me. “We’ve been around enough demons to recognize the mark of a Chosen. Congratulations.”
“Oh… ah…” I looked to Hawk for help, but he smiled smugly at me. Determined to wipe that smile off his face, I grinned at him as I said, “We’re not so sure about that yet.”
Chapter Sixteen
Aisling
Hawk’s smile vanished while Erin and Vargas exchanged a confused look. Now, it was my turn to smile smugly as I took another bite of toa
st. I wore Hawk’s brand for all the world to see, but that didn’t mean we’d resolved this.
Hawk crossed his arms over his chest. “Aisling feels we may have rushed things.”
I couldn’t stop myself from snorting; that was the understatement of the year. “We’re getting to know each other better before we decide our future.”
“That’s… ah… always a good thing,” Vargas said.
“Hawk can make you want to stab him, but he’s a good man,” Erin said.
I couldn’t argue with that.
A knock sounded on the front door, but before anyone could move to answer it, the creak of it opening sounded from the other room. Something clicked against the hardwood floors, and I put my toast down. What was that?
My hand fell to the side of Hawk’s far too big pants and gripped the handle of my knife as a voice called from the other room, “It’s just me, humans and ex-human. I’ve come for a visit with my favorite girl. If you’re ill-prepared, then tell me to go.”
Erin smiled before she called out, “We’re in the kitchen, Lix.”
They all relaxed, but I remained tensed to kill until one of the creepy skelleins stepped into the kitchen. He wore a checkered tie with a picture of Porky Pig on it. A red fedora, tilted slightly to the side, was perched on his head. The outfit was absurd, but I’d seen far worse on some of them.
His jawbones pulled into a grin, and his feet clicked against the floor as he walked toward Erin. “There’s my favorite riddle genius!” he cried as he opened his arms to her.
“Lix,” Erin said, and the radiant smile on her face was one of love and friendship as she rose to embrace him. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“It takes far more than a demon army to take me out,” he said. “My beautiful unicorn tie didn’t fare so well, but that’s no skin off these bones.”
I couldn’t help chuckling as Vargas rose from the table and gestured for Lix to take his seat. Lix removed his fedora as he settled at the table and removed a flask from the pouch tied around his waist. I’d seen some of the other skelleins in camp, but I’d never been this close to one or seen them drink.
Kiss of Death: Hell on Earth Series, Book 3 Page 10